A Love For All Things Ridiculous!

So, anyone who’s known me for more than a minute can probably quickly gather my love for things that are a little on the ridiculous side.

A couple weeks ago, I had gone into new employee orientation to do a quick training just like I do every few weeks. This time, we were not meeting in the training room, but rather, a smaller conference room, big enough to hold about eight, but there were only two new employees. One of my new employee friends launched into a tirade about how appalling the art in our building was. I’ve worked here for 3 ½ years and have been in that particular building for at least a year and a half and have never had an aversion to the artwork. But this woman was clearly disturbed by the prints in that room in particular, which to me resembled an aerial view of a mall with a big blue parking lot. I took it with a grain of salt and thought to myself that I was glad I wouldn’t have to deal with her on a regular basis.

So, a week goes by and her boss asked me to set up a meeting with her to catch her up to speed on my current project. This woman is probably in her late 40’s or early 50’s and clearly has no room in her life for anything silly or useless. I set up the meeting and didn’t give it much thought. She showed up to my office and pulled up a chair to talk. She acted somewhat pleasant, we discussed our agenda, and she left. She pretty much wore me out just from being within a five mile radius of me for an hour and a half. It wasn’t until she left that I realized what had happened…thinking back to our first meeting. I was quite filled with satisfaction as I looked around at my office. I’m sure she loved the artwork!

Trusting Jesus: More Trust Issues

Sometimes I think God must look down at me and say, "Amy, I've already shown you how to do that, why can't you remember?" Or "Um, we've already covered this one. I'm not showing you that again!" Or maybe even, "Good grief, child, you wear me out."

I feel like there are several things God's been trying to teach me lately. Over and over and over again. I also don't think it's merely coincidence that they are all somewhat related and intertwined. I feel like continues to show up in my life in very unexpected ways the last few weeks. Issues of trusting God. And not really just trusting, but actually allowing him to work through us. It's easy to trust God as a savior...to actually trust in the fact that through him, we are saved. That is the basic part of Christianity. But to actually trust Jesus as our teacher is completely different. If you want to hear an amazing message about it from Cross Point on Sunday, click here.

We even discussed this concept in small group last week before Pete based his sermon on it this past weekend. Revealing thought number 1: Sometimes I find it a lot easier to trust God with the big things, but I stuggle more with giving him control over the little things. I'm not sure why that is. But it's almost like he's proven to me that he can get me through the really hard, rough times...but I hold on to the little things. I don't know. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense at all. Wouldn't you think that it would be easier to trust him with the little things? All I know is that I have a long way to go before I think I can fully trust Jesus as not only my savior, but so much more. And I want to be there in that place. Imagine the peace that must reside there!

Pete had some amazing points on Sunday. Let me share a few...

Spiritual trouble arises when we have a skewed or innaccuate vision of who Jesus is.

Matt 5:21-24 - It's not just about transformation of the heart, but it's about behavior modification.

Matt 6:1 - It's possible to do all the "right" things, but still not be close to Christ. We often try too hard to make it all about us.

Matt 6:19-21 - Do we trust Jesus where our money and possessions are concerned?

Matt 11:28 - When we're treading water spritiually, why don't we just let Jesus help us out?

John 7:37 - If you are discontent or unsatisfied, he doesn't just quench our thirst, but he provides rivers of living water - so we can become a source of life to others.

Jesus gives us grace for eternity, but also, grace for life.

I'm still working through all of this, but I think it's always somewhat refreshing to know that others are right there with me...working it out themselves. I'd be much more of a freak if that weren't true. :)

Any Competition is a Friend of Mine

I love a competition. Especially if it means if I win, I get bragging rights. I seriously think I could turn most things into a game and get some type of satisfaction out of it. Now...if I could only figure out a way to make going to the gym and getting in shape into some kind of game, I'd be golden.



A friend from work is about as much of a pop culture fanatic as I am. But now that I've given up eating lunch out for lent, it's hard to find enough time in the day to discuss and recap all tv/pop culture related events of the previous night. So we've settled for some water cooler fodder and emails to rehash the previous nights events.



Right now, the two biggest shows on our radar - Dancing With the Stars and American Idol.



Now, I'll be honest...sometimes I get really into Idol, and other seasons I completely forget it exists. I can't say that I'll commit to every week, but I will at least watch enough to keep up with it...especially since TiVo took the liberty of recording it without me even telling him.



So, I watched Tuesday night's performances and caught up to the rest of America. So, for week one of the actual competition (The crap before now is merely for entertainment purposes), here’s my synopsis.

Lil Rounds – I like her…she’s one of my favorites. I think she has a really good voice. Even if she doesn't make it very far in the competition, I think she'll have an album out.

Scott – Not a big fan. The high notes in the song were AWFUL!

Danny – Love Love Love him! I think he’s got great stage presence and he can SING! I’ve loved him since his audition. LOVE that he sang PYT!

Michael – He gets points in my book for singing the Free Willy song. Haha! I think he’s okay…but there’s not much that’s great about him.

Jasmine – She’s good, and I like her, but don’t think she’s anything special.

Kris –He can play guitar…so he’s going that going. He’s cute…so he’s got that going. I agree with Simon about the guitar not suiting the song. He’s good, but not sure about being great. He’s got potential though. I like him!

Allison – I like her. She sounds like Kelly Clarkson to me. She said she’s not cutting herself. I am glad.

Anoop – I think he’s likable, but not anything special. I love that he sang Beat It. But it was very awkward. I agree about it sounding karaoke because it’s an iconic karaoke song! But the glam squad did wonders on him! Did you notice he said “Ya’ll?” haha…he did.

Jorge – He’s good, but I don’t care one way or the other about him.

Megan – Um…her dancing is annoying. Rockin’ Robin…really?!? REALLY?!?! That just got on my nerves. Whether she can sing or not, that was a dumb song choice. And she CAWED at the end. REALLY?!? She’s got a decent voice, but dang…I need her to go home already.

Adam – Love Love Love him. He’s definitely going to be up there in the finals. And B&W is one of my favorite MJ songs! I think he’s great.

Matt – He’s definitely got the Justin Timberlake look working for him! I love that he played the piano and I think he’s got a great voice!

Alexis Grace – I think she’s good. The end was a little crazy. I think she can sing, but it was a little over the top. I agree with the judges.


PS. Paula is crazy.

So, at the office, we are picking the order in which they'll go. So here are my picks (In order - best to worst). We'll see how I do.

Danny Gokey
Adam Lambert
Lil Rounds
Allison Irahata
Matt Guirad
Kris Allen
Alexis Grace
Jorge Nunez

Jasmine Murray
Michael Sarver
Anoop Desai
Megan Corkery
Scott McIntyre



Do you watch? I want to hear your picks...or at least your top four. Next...my DWTS picks for this season. Stay tuned!

Through the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Over the last two days, I've have been ridiculously thankful to have the support of amazing friends. I'm not talking about just having people to hang out with. I'm talking about actually having people in my life who care about me and have a vested interest in my life. People who have been with me through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Yesterday, I got some devestating news that a dear friend's father was in a fatal freak accident.
She is pregnant with her first child, and she is days away from her due date. I know what it is like to lose a father, but I have no idea the mix of emotions that go along with something so sudden and unexpected. You can never prepare yourself for those things. Ever. When I got the news, my stomach literally sank. I started immediately praying for peace for her and her family. I can't imagine the hurt and pain she must be feeling during a time in her life that should be filled with such joy.

Through this though, it has made me stop and look at the friends in my own life who have been there for me. One thing I will always remember about losing my own father are the people in my life who helped get me through that time. Friends who called to tell me that they loved me. Friends who sent flowers, plants, and cards. Friends who I hadn't seen or spoken to in months, even years, who showed up unexpectedly at the funeral home. Those people loved me. Through the good. Through the bad. They were there for me, whether they knew how to be or not. It was through their love and support that I was able to get through it. To know that they were there, willing to just sit with me...without talking. Willing to let me talk through things when I was ready. To cry with me. Or just wait. Because while they might not have had the right words to say (because there are none), they were there at a time when I needed them the most. And that's what makes the difference. Just having support. People around you who care. People who love you. Regarless of any circumstances.

Today, as I was arranging to have something sent to the funeral home, I literally had to stop what I was doing and praise God for blessing me with amazing friends. Friends I so often take for granted.

I pray that right now, my friend is reminded that the Lord provides peace with time. I also pray that she is surrounded by people who love her (near and far) who can provide her with the support she needs at this exact moment. I can't fathom dealing with the death of a father and the birth of a first born baby all within days of each other. But I do know one thing for certain, and that is that at the end of the day, the Lord is sovereign.

Apparently I have no self control!

I gave up eating lunch out for Lent. I thought it would save me some money, be healthier, and all that good stuff. But mostly because I was doing it more and more for social reasons. I would bring my lunch and someone would ask if I wanted to go out for lunch and I’d go. I mean, I'll never pass on having someone to talk about Dancing With The Stars, or How I Met Your Mother. I used to never eat of for lunch. It just got to be a little ridiculous. Add to that, all of my pants are fitting a lot snugger than I’d like them to be. So I gave up eating lunch out during the work-week. I've been bringing my lunch, but I find myself needing to get out of the office. So I have been leaving the office for 30-45 mins everyday. Running errands, shopping, etc. Well, this also seems to be trouble. Today, I went to Target and came out with the following items:

U2's new cd - No Line on the Horizon
A roll of black electrical tape
Goldfish crackers
a pack of gum
coffee creamer
a squirt toy

WHAAAAT? Out of all of those things, I'll admit, I only needed coffee creamer. The rest merely caught my interest while walking through the store...bored. Bad idea.

So I decided today that maybe next week, I need to try bringing gym clothes and actually using my Y membership during my lunch break. I guess we'll see how that goes...

I'm a Liar!

I was attending a conference last week and we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves. During our introduction, we were supposed to tell everyone our name, what company we were with, and something interesting about ourselves. Now, I like to think that I’m a fairly interesting person. I have all kinds of “interesting things” I could have said. But when it was my turn to take the spotlight, I completely froze. So, I did what any normal person would do….I lied.

The words that came out of my mouth were:
"I love to travel and I’ve been to 47 out of 50 states."

As I'm saying it, I'm thinking what in the world am I saying? What a ridiculous thing to make up.

So then, of course, the 60 year old man beside me is impressed.
“Which states haven’t you been to?”

My quick response “Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine. Um…okay.

There are a million things I could have said that would have been way more interesting…things like:

“I have a pet rabbit.” (I even could have elaborated and said that I thought he was a girl for the first 4 months I owned him)

“I took a spur of the moment trip to New York City on the 4th of July just to watch the fireworks with friends.”

“I stayed up too late last night watching ‘The Man Without A Face’ on TLC about a man who let tumors invade his face to the point of not really being able to live his life”

“I’ve been swimming with dolphins in the Bahamas.”


Truth.
I’ve been to 39 out of 50 states.
Alaska
Hawaii
Maine
New Hampshire
Vermont
Rhode Island
Pennsylvania
Minnesota
Wisconsin
Michigan
Arizona


I think the next time I have to tell an interesting fact, I should say, “The last time I had to tell an interesting fact about myself, I made one up.”

Can I get more pathetic? I think through all of this, I've definitely learned that I’m not really that interesting.

America's Biggest Jerkface

Okay, I’ll come right out and say it. I’m PISSED at The Bachelor. Not that I ever thought it was true “reality tv,” but I will admit I always found myself coming back season after season. There’s something about the fact that maybe, two people will find love. Now I also know that I’m way more cynical and jaded than that. But there’s hope out there somewhere in the depths of my soul that if Trista and Ryan did it, so can the next guy or girl. I’ll go ahead and say that I’ve never believed that it’s completely real…and that sometimes, for the sake of the show, they just have to pick someone…even if they know it’s not going to work out in the end (Take Travis for instance).

But last night was just a little too much for me to stomach. I literally was emotionally exhausted. I felt like I had been dumped.

For those who don’t watch, I’ll give you the quick recap.

Jason, went from being America’s favorite bachelor to America’s biggest jerkface in a matter of minutes. During the finale, he acted like he was torn between the final two, Melissa, and Molly. He lets Molly go, walks to the balcony and starts balling like a baby. Then, returns, proposes to Melissa. Happily ever after. Until. After the Final Rose.

After the Final Rose comes on and it’s awkward. Chris is telling us that due to respect for the parties involved, it will be an intimate setting. Um…awkward. So there’s no audience, no music, just dead silence. Jason comes out and tells Chris (and the 11 million viewers) that things haven’t been the same since New Zealand and the proposal and that he’s having doubts and second thoughts. So he is going to end it with Melissa (in front of 11 million viewers) and he wants to pursue things with Molly (if she’ll take him back).

So they bring out poor Melissa. He tells her that he’s known for a while that he made a mistake by picking her and that he’s still in love with Molly. Apparently, Melissa knew something was going on, but I don’t know if she knew what was coming or not. She seemed shocked and upset. And I think she had every right to be. There were a couple things that truly broke my heart. When Melissa said that Jason had taken one thing from her she could never get back…a proposal. Then, when she was in the limo and said that it hurt her that he didn’t find her or their relationship worth fighting for. Ouch. Then, she said that she is always the dumpee and she doesn’t understand why…that there must be something wrong with her. UGH! Melissa, it is not you! For some reason, it infuriated me. Why women get it into our heads that it’s always a problem with us. Of course, we’re not perfect, but I’d just like her to stop and look at what a jerk he is. It has nothing to do with anything she did or didn’t do.

Now, this morning, I was even more disgusted to read what Reality Steve had to say on his blog. It was absolutely appalling! Check it out for yourself. He claims to have contact with individuals close to sources that revealed that Jason told the producers that his pick was Molly when there were five girls left. The producers asked who his second pick was. Melissa was the obvious choice. So the producers devised a plan for him to take Molly and Melissa to the final rose ceremony…for him to pick and propose to Melissa. Then, break up with Melissa during the After the Final Rose and ask Molly to take him back.

(Hold on…I need to throw up.)

So it was planned the whole time. Now I’m sure this isn’t the first time something has been planned in Bachelor history…but dang. To drag someone around for six weeks making them think that you are in love with her, proposing to her, making her think that you (and your son) are going to be her new family. Then pulling the rug out from under her. That is taking it to a new level. That’s just dirty. It makes me sick to my stomach that he would mess with someone’s emotions for an extended period of time knowing the whole time what he was going to do in the end. He’s an even bigger jerk than I thought. For some reason, I was an emotional wreck after last night’s finale. I seriously felt like I had been dumped. I think if I’d been Melissa, I’d have punched him in the face. He definitely deserved it.

And I don’t even know what to think about Molly. If the rumors are true and she was in on it the whole time, then she’s a jerk too. Because there’s no way I could let the man I’m in love with treat another girl so horribly and be so deceiving.


ABC, thanks for the good times, but I think I officially have to be done with The Bachelor. I can’t handle another heartbreak.

Nothing Like a Good Book

I’ve always loved to read. From the time I learned, I was constantly obsessed with books. I remember in first grade, we had boxes with books to check out. Each box contained a different reading level and we were required to check out books at certain points during the year. I was always so excited to take books from the highest reading level. I loved it. When my brothers were little, I loved it when they’d bring me books and ask me to read to them. At one point, I would record books to tape with my little tape player for my brother to listen to and follow along with while I was at school. During the summers, it was always a challenge for my mom to get my nose out of a book. She would beg me to go outside and play. So I’d take my book outside. I’d lay on a blanket in the yard, or I’d sit on the swing set and read. And I loved it.

I grew up going to the library and I thought borrowing books was the best thing ever. Getting my library card was a great day in my world. I remember holding that piece of plastic like it was magic…and to me, it practically was. I could check out ten books at a time with that card! I had a little book tote that I would go and fill up every couple weeks. I was always having to narrow my choices down because I was always over the limit.

When I was about 11 years old, my cousin, Leslie, gave me one of the greatest gifts ever. There was an old used bookstore in town and they would buy and sell used books. She had been trading in “teen” books and had built up a credit, but was really too old for the books and decided to pass the store credit on to me. If I remember correctly, it was in the $25 range…but it was absolute gold to me! That store became a haven for me. My mom would drop me off and I would spend hours in that little converted house. Each time I went, I would find little treasures. I remember collecting just about every single Sweet Valley Twins and Babysitter’s Club book ever written.

I still love to curl up with a good book! I don’t read as much as I wish I did, mostly because it takes time. There’s just something about escaping to a different world for a bit.

All that, to really say that I’m not really sure what I think about the new Kindle. It has come up several times during conversations the last few days. And I just really don't know what I think. I mean, I guess I get the concept. But I’m not completely sold on the idea. There’s something about reading off a small screen that I don’t think I’d be fond of...even if I can make the font smaller or larger. I’d just rather have the words off the page of a book. There's just something to be said for a good used book! I guess I probably had the same thoughts when MP3 players were first introduced. Actually, no, I’m pretty sure I thought that idea was amazing. I’m just not sure the Kindle can offer me much, except provide more room in my carry on when I’m traveling. What do you guys think? Can you see me curled up on the couch, or laying on the beach with a Kindle? I just think it's probably not for me.

It's a Boy!

Me and Domino at our first meeting at the pet store

Well, I have to say that it's kind of a shock when you find out that your girl bunny is a boy.

My first thought when I found out that Domino was not a girl, "Do you think he's pissed at me for making him wear that pink collar?" I guess the good thing is, he's just a rabbit, so he doesn't really know.

Okay, okay, call me a horrible owner, but it's really hard to tell the sex of a rabbit! When I got Domino, the guy at the pet store said the breeder was 90% sure they were all girls. So, I just figured the breeder would know best. I'd done my research before ever getting a rabbit, and everything I read said that it's really hard to tell and on most bunnies, you can't tell until they are between 4-6 months old. The changes were slow, but definitely noticable. I could tell her behavior was the behavior was a lot more aggressive and territorial. She started biting at my legs and acting crazy. So I did a lot of research on how to accurately tell the sex. It's not easy...especially rabbits with lots of fur. there were several weeks where I would try to hold her down to see if I could see her bunny parts. No such luck. One night, my friend Emily was over here we were talking about how we really needed to get to the bottom of this and figure it out. So, I held Domino and she tried to search. We had our answer...Emily jumped back and screamed, "Those are definitely HER balls!"

So, even though I was questioning the fact that "she" was probably a "he," it definitely was a lot to get used to.

So, okay, I had a really agressive boy bunny...what do I do with him now? Get him fixed. Yes, I said fixed...like a dog...or cat. I know, it sounds ridiculous, right?

As if that's not ridiculous enough, I had to call around to different vets.

"Hello, Such and Such Animal Clinic."

"Hi, do you neuter rabbits?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Neuter rabbits?"

"Um...no, sorry. Maybe try Dr. So and So."

"Hi, Dr. So and So's office."

"I'm looking for a vet that can neuter a rabbit."

"Oh, yes. We do that here."

"Great, can you tell me a little about it."

"Sure."

(This is when she procedes to actually describe to me in full anatomical detail what neutering actually is.)

Needless to say, it was an adventure.

But I did find a great place that was relatively cheap in comparison. They were very nice over the phone and in person. They explained everything and even called a few days after the surgery to make sure Domino was doing well. And they also clipped his nails. And they didn't look at me funny for bringing him in in a pink carrier. (Although the lady checking in beside me did look at me funny when she found out I had a pet rabbit.)

So, it's been almost two weeks since Domino's surgery and he's doing great! He's not nearly as aggressive as he was. He's a lot more chill and a lot more cuddly and fun to be around. Although he continues to eat my baseboards. But I love that silly rabbit...what can I say?

I just want one snow day!

It seems like the word “snow” in Nashville really translates into “The world is ending!” Now, I realize I didn’t necessarily grow up in the “north.” But I also have come to realize that 150 miles is enough to make a significant difference. The entire three years I’ve lived here, it’s never really snowed in Nashville. I mean, there’s been a light dusting a few times, but no real accumulation. So when I moved here and realized how crazy Nashvillians get about weather, it became quite humorous. The forecast would call for snow flurries and then next thing you know, every grocery store in town was out of bread, milk, and eggs. I always wondered why people did this. Did they really think they were going to get snowed in and not be able to go anywhere for days? I really think that’s what they believed. This past winter, has been even more ridiculous. There have been at least three occasions where school has been cancelled because of inclement weather. And by inclement weather, I really mean rain. The first two times, there was not even a wintry mix…just rain. Earlier this week, it did snow for a whooping 20 minutes. Enough to do absolutely nothing. Now, while people here were talking about not knowing if they could get to work because of the deteriorating driving conditions (um…no!), Kentucky and Arkansas have been in a state of emergency.

Crazy ice storms hit earlier this week leaving inches of ice on top of everything. Trees were weighed down so heavy that limbs were breaking and trees falling all over the place. Most people in the town I’m from don’t have electricity, cable, or water. My mom is in town visiting for a couple weeks. Their power went out on Tuesday night. She has been staying at my grandma’s, who must be one of the few with electricity. Apparently, they’re saying it could take up to a week to restore everyone’s power. And that the county had turned off the limited water supply due to filtering concerns. They were bringing in generators today from other states and should have water restored in the next 24-48 hrs. On top of that, the 911 numbers aren't working. The news is reporting a half a million people are without power in Kentucky alone. Now, while I’m really dying for a snow day right about now, that’s not exactly what I’m talking about!

You can click here and here to read more.

Question of the day!

So, if you know me, you know that I have a deep appreciation for the 80's. Movies, music, trivia, banana clips...the whole deal. So, today, I pose this question...

"If you were going to have an 80's movie marathon, what movies would you definitely watch?"

History As We Know It

I totally got the warm fuzzies today! I am actually excited about the hope that our new president brings. I know there are many out there who are not excited, but I definitely am. I will remember today as a day I watched history unfold itself before my eyes. There were points where I was just like, “Wow! This is exciting!” There were also points where I was like, “Wow…Aretha, what is on your head?”

But during times when our country is in such a crisis, it is nice to see hope and dreams come alive.

Some things I thought were interesting (beside that hat!)

The transfer of power from Bush to Obama officially happened even before he took the oath.

The mishap with the 35 word oath. Whoops to both of you, Barack Obama and John Roberts!

They were moving stuff out of the White House and painting as the inauguration was going on.

Those precious girls are absolutely beautiful!

Rick Warren’s prayer was looooong and somewhat exhausting.

Some of those ex-presidents look old! I was impressed how not old Jimmy Carter looked though.

I thought it was pretty awesome that Barack, Michelle, Jill, and Joe walked George and Laura to the helicoptor pad. I mean, it just came across as incredibly respectful.

A friend posted about this kid who is Obama’s speechwriter. Check This guy out. Wow! Thanks, Jon…you make me feel incredibly insignificant. Are you single?!

Okay, that’s enough rambling for now.

The Christian Bubble

I was having a conversation with a friend tonight about things that get under my skin about Christianity. Sometimes I get so frustrated with people who are supposed to be the most "Christ like." I don't want to be like that.

Am I living in a Christian bubble? Am I naive to the things that go on around me? Even the things that I know about, but don't agree with.

I do not want to be in that bubble. If I am, it makes me sad.

Anemia, you are not my friend!

I had hopes of writing something profound for the new year, but so far, 2009 has been a little rocky. I had a pretty great New Years Eve hanging out with one of my absolute favorite people in the whole wide world. But I woke up New Years Day feeling lots of sinus pressure. I went to the doctor Friday because I knew I wouldn’t be able to shake it. I had a sinus infection…no big deal, but I also found out a lot more information about why I keep getting sick. The doctor said I am severely anemic. A normal person's count should be between 12-19 and mine was at 9. Apparently, at 8, people start needing blood transfusions! Um, scary…YES!! So, needless to say, I've been a little freaked out. Looking back at recent months, it all makes a lot more sense. Maybe I’m not a lazy piece of crap after all. I’m just anemic and my body hates me for it! I'm constantly so worn out all the time. When I do have the energy to exercise, it completely wears me out instead of making me feel better. I get winded from carrying in groceries. So, I'm trying to increase my iron intake and I was told to take prenatal vitamins (yes, I said PRENATAL!) and I have to get blood drawn again in a month to see if it's any better. Today is the first day I've actually felt normal again. So I'm praying for progress!

Holidays and Econ...um...thanks.

Um...so I just got this ecard. Apparently the WKU Econ department wants to wish me Happy Holdiays. I'm pretty sure the Econ department is why I almost didn't graduate.

Consumerism is the American Way...

I've been thinking a lot about consumerism the last week. It plays such a huge part in the "American Dream." We think the more stuff we have, the better life will be. Often times, I find myself caught up in the hype of things I don't need. I want them for the mere sake of wanting them. I saw this and am wondering "What if we all really did do this?" Pretty awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

The new stars of HSM3

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HSM3

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Mystery Worshippers?

Tonight, I got in a conversation with a friend about church. Apparently, he’s not too keen on the idea of attending church. Mostly because he feels like it’s too many times treated like a business transaction. Of course, my defensive walls come up. But I have to agree with him. For the most part, he’s right. We talked about churches using gimmicks to get people to attend, marketing techniques, and how sometimes Christians can be the most un-Christ-like people around. And sadly, I can’t argue. I can only hope that I’m different. That my friends are different. That my church is different.

Then, he sent me this article from today’s Tennessean.

The person sitting next to you in church today may look like an average visitor, but be careful, he might be taking notes.

A growing number of churches are using mystery worshippers, consultants giving congregations the same kind of unbiased, unfiltered feedback that secret shoppers give retail stores or restaurants. The mystery worshippers give churches the kind of honest responses that newcomers almost never do. From angry parking lot attendants to boring sermons, they let the churches know what they are doing right and wrong.

click here for the rest.

I think sometimes we worry too much about impressing people. Instead of letting the word of God speak to their hearts. Instead of letting the music soak their soul. Instead, we offer distractions.

I was reminded this summer in the Dominican Republic that the place we worship and the manner in which we do it are not the most important. I had an amazing experience in an unfinished church with cement walls, dirt floors, in a language I couldn’t understand. But God was just as present.

I don’t think that the secret shoppers are necessary if the church is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. If we are welcoming visitors, if we are showing the love of Christ, if we are being the hands and feet, then it seems unnecessary.

But on the other hand, if there are churches that are not doing such a good job in these areas, then I guess it’s good that they’re seeking help.

Thoughts?

I could put it in the want ads...

There are certain times it would come in quite handy to have a guy around.

Like tonight, I got home and it was 65 degrees in my condo. I need to buy a new air filter before I switch over to heat. I remember when I moved in, I was told that it was an irregular size. So now I have to figure out where to buy one and make sure it's the right size. I just want the chill out of the place! I'm tired of being cold!

It would also be nice if he could take out the trash, kill bugs, and pump gas.

My New Life Plan

Effective today, I'm starting on a new venture...a new "life plan." There are a lot of things that I should probably add, but I'm starting with four simple things that will contribute to my happiness and health.

1.) Get to work by 8:30
Lately, it's been a real struggle to drag myself in by 9. I know it's ridiculous...that's why it's on the list. Maybe once I get 8:30 down, I'll push it back to 8:15 and eventually 8.

2.) Brown bag my lunch
I've been eating lunch out a lot more recently. Probably more for socialization reasons that anything else. It's getting expensive...and it's not that good for me.

3.) Work out at the Y at least 3 times a week
I am not the greatest at being motivated to go work out, but I need to be. I've gained weight and now my clothes don't fit. Um...that's a big problem. I need to get my lazy butt in shape.

4.) Have a better attitude Well...I need to. Because lately, mine sucks.So, there they are...the three things that will slowly change my life.

Feel free to ask me how it's going and hold me accountable.

And just in case you're wondering, here's today's results.
1.) Got to work at 8:42 (not 8:30, but better)
2.) Took my lunch to work
3.) Worked out for 30 mins after work
4.) My attitude was better...not great...but better. :)

Yay for today!

Today is my three year anniversary of me moving to Nashville. Crazy!

Back to blogging

I just found out that some friends are either back to blogging, or taking a stab at it for the first time!

YAY!

Crystal - http://myownrealityshow.blogspot.com/

Ashley - http://catdawg04.blogspot.com/

Jenny - http://borderspatrol.blogspot.com/

Brandon - http://amindstrainingproject.blogspot.com/

The Nashville "Gas Crisis"

Okay, okay…so someone started a rumor in Nashville Friday that by the end of the day, the whole city would be out of gas. Well…pure pandemonium broke out…and what do you know?! By Friday evening and into Saturday, 95% of Nashville gas stations were out of gas. You know what I think? It’s absolutely absurd! CNN.com posted this article yesterday.

When I left work Friday, I probably passed at least a dozen gas stations on my way home. Every single one of them was out of gas. I was curious if the Kroger near where I lived had any, so I turned to go into the parking lot. I couldn’t even get in the parking lot. If I’d wanted groceries, there would have been no way for me to get in. There was a lady from a local restaurant asking people if they wanted to place an order while they wait. Um, seriously?! What in the world.

I decided that my 1/8th of a tank was going to have to last me…at least for the night. I went to hang out with some friends. On the way home at 2am, I decided to count the number of gas stations I passed. 19. All of them out of gas except for one of the sketchiest stations in the area. They had 2 pumps and there were at least 40 people in line. Did I mention it was 2 in the morning?!

Yesterday, I decided to venture out. I passed the same Kroger with the same line. I’d guess that people who were in that line were waiting at least two hours. I was afraid if I got in line, they’d run out. There were at least 100 cars in line. I continued driving. I passed about 40 gas stations and none of them had gas. Finally, I saw a gas station with gas. The line was about half a mile long. 20 miles later, I found another gas station. At this point, I didn’t think I’d find another one with gas. So I sat in the line that blocked one lane of traffic, cut through the Bank of America parking lot, to where there was a man directing traffic, across a blocked road, and into the gas station parking lot. 40 minutes later, I had a full tank.

I had some friends who opted to sit in line at my option 2…the half mile line. They waited over an hour.

Apparently, they’re saying that Nashville probably won’t be back to normal until Thursday or Friday. Well, as much as everyone is freaking out…who knows how long it will be. Every gas station that gets a shipment in has a million people lined up. I guess I’ll just be waiting this one out!

Boo-yah!

Here's my fantasy football team. Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think of my drafting skills. :)

Marion Barber
(Dal - RB)
Terrell Owens
(Dal - WR)
Brandon Jacobs
(NYG - RB)
Wes Welker
(NE - WR)
Rudi Johnson
(Cin - RB)
Chris Cooley
(Was - TE)
Joey Galloway
(TB - WR)
Justin Fargas
(Oak - RB)
Matt Schaub
(Hou - QB)
Brett Favre
(NYJ - QB)

Bon-bon Shaking Duties on Hold

Apparently, Ricky Martin had twins. My favorite part of the article was "Martin is thrilled about the births and is stepping back from his duties as a bon-bon shaking celebrity to be a dad." Um...yeah.

So, what's up with all these single guys getting women to have their babies?

Yes, I'm Stubborn

stubborn:
1 a (1): unreasonably or perversely unyielding
(2): justifiably unyielding
b: suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature
2: performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner
3: difficult to handle, manage, or treat
4: lasting

Last week, I was approached about joining a fantasy football league. I said I definitely wanted to participate. Now, I know I don't know much about football...and by "much," I really mean "anything," but I'm always up for a little friendly competition. I thought being in a fantasy football league would be fun. A few days went by and then I was kicked out. They said it was because I was the last to join. I am pretty sure it was because I am a girl. I was determined to get back in. Today I was asked to rejoin the league. YAY!

Now I need to figure out what to do. Any tips anyone can offer will be great! Who do I need on my team?

Oh yeah, I need a good name too!

Fight Like A Girl!

This year I will be participating in the Komen Greater Nashville Race for the Cure® on October 4th in downtown Nashville. My friend, Laura, was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this summer. I will be walking with Laura's team Fight Like A Girl to support her and her fight against breast cancer.

I believe everyone should fight for causes they can be passionate about. This is definitely something I want to support, and I'm hoping you will as well.

Statistics show that one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. If you would like to make a difference, please consider donating through this website, or you can sign up to walk along with me and my team.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Greater Nashville Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure

I miss my dad!

I miss my dad today. It's hard to believe that it's been two years.

I'm Over It!

So I took my car to a different repair shop that was recommended to me. They are supposedly known for being honest and fair. After the couple weeks I've had, I'm conviced that all things related to cars are not fair...or cheap. So I called last week and made an appointment. I took it in this morning for repairs.

Total $589.
Grand total (for everything I've had fixed in the past week and a half): over $900

A guy just called to tell me that it also needs an idol air control valve. Of course it does! Another $200. I told him I can't fix it right now. It has been making that noise when I turn my air on for over a year and everytime I take it in and ask them to check it out, they can never hear it to tell me what it is.

He said he'd get it fixed ASAP. I told him I hate cars.

A Blessing From a Stranger

While I was in the DR, my car (Champ) sat in the parking lot of my condo for eight days without being driven. Upon my return, she was a little testy. She was upset with me for leaving her for so long. She cried...or squeaked...in a very high pitch. I took her to the doctor, to see what was wrong. They said that I needed to get a serpentine belt, and an idle pulley, with the possibility of also needing a tensioner. $250 and one day later, I started her up and the squeak was still there. At this point, I was rather annoyed. I had originally taken it in for a squeak...and it was still there. I called them back and told them that she was still squeaking and that I probably needed the tensioner. Although I had no idea what in the world it was (even after googling it), I felt like that was the most logical explaination. It is what they told me, afterall. And of course, I'm going to trust them...I'm not mechanic! So I took her back in the next day with the intent of replacing the tensioner and putting it all behind me. I received a call that afternoon saying that they replaced the tensioner (and that labor was free since it wasn't fixed before, but it was still $50), but she was still squeaking. WHAT?! I know, right? I grabbed a pen to jot down the parts that needed to be fixed. Camshaft synchronizer, cam position sensor, gaskets. Okay, so I've heard of gaskets. But are those other two things really even car parts? So I ask the dreaded question. "How much does it cost?" My estimate including parts and labor: $585. I wanted to die. Yes, after shelling out a grand total of $900...Champ could be good as new! I wanted to throw up.

I immediately called my stepdad to see if I was getting a run for my money, or if he thought they were being honest. His suggestion was to go buy a new car. Maybe a "cute little Camry or Corolla, or maybe a Honda." UGH! I immediately had a talk with Champ. I told her that I wasn't going to leave her in her time of need, but that I needed her to pull through. Together, we could figure it out. Obviously, my pep talk didn't work...the squeak is only getting worse!

Fast forward to today. Champ is still squeaking. And it's getting worse by the day. Earlier this week I called some auto repair shops to get some other estimates for parts and labor. The consensus was that it cost a lot of money...more than I wanted to spend. More than I was able to spend. I've spent a lot of time this week praying and trying to figure out how to work it all out. It's not like I just have an extra $900 just lying around each time I get paid.

Today, I got an email from a friend who said that she needed to meet me at lunch. When I met her, she gave me a hug and handed me a folded check and said "I was telling someone about your situation and they wanted me to give you this." I opened it up and it was $650. I have no idea who this amazing angel is, and she won't tell me. But it is seriously the most amazing blessing ever. She said that this person wants to remain anonymous (and she swears I don't know them anyway), but they just saw a need that they wanted to meet. She said that they are a firm believer in the body of Christ and wanted to bless me because she heard about my mission trip to the DR and my car problems since I've been back. Because they aren't able to offer their physical body by going, they want to bless those who can. I believe that this seriously is a testament to how amazing our God is and proof that the body of Christ really does exist and is working in us all.

So I made and appointment for Champ for Monday morning. YAY!

Pretty awesome, huh? I'm still amazed!!! :)

Anyone else have a story like that?

This is my life...

This morning, I stopped at Starbucks on my way to take my car in. I had a few extra minutes because my ride was running late, so I decided I had enough time to drive through Starbucks really quick. I took my car to the auto repair shop and checked in and everything. My ride still wasn't there yet, so I took up residence in a pretty amazing rocking chair out front. It was kind of like Cracker Barrell. I was sitting there, enjoying the humidity, sipping on my caramel macchiato. I have no idea what happened, but all of a sudded, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. It wasn't a ton, but enough to realize that it was definitely hot! I looked around to make sure no one saw me. I think I was safe. Until I stood up. It seriously looked like I peed in my pants. So of course, I had to come to work like that. I walked in my office, grabbed my trusty Tide to go pen from my top drawer and my planner to strategically place in front of me on the way to the ladies room. I went to work with water and the Tide pen and paper towels. I came out feeling like I did more damage than good. I had definitely made it worse, but I was hoping it would dry without a stain. So now, even 5 hours later, I smell like coffee and nasty Tide to go. What's a girl to do?

A Difficult Transition

The transition back to "normal life" has been a little more difficult than I expected. I thought that I would return on Tuesday afternoon, take Wednesday off, and transition back into work and my normal routine on Thursday. Well, it's still Sunday and I still don't quite feel like I'm there.

I can't help but wonder why God has chosen me to be exactly where I am. I am more fortunate than I've ever realized. I don't have to want for much. And I've been pretty content the past three years making my home in Nashville. It's crazy to think that one room of my house holds more possessions than most of the households in the Dominican. It's just a reminder to continually praise God for the things I've been blessed with. I think one of the hardest things for me...is that I know that eventually, it won't be in the front of my brain anymore. Over time, I will forget and get caught back up with the things I want to help "fill" my life. I just pray that I remember how fortunate I am and that I am reminded often to share what I've been given.

While in the Dominican, we were given an opportunity to help sponsor a child through G.O. Ministries. I picked a seven year old girl named Sheyla. For $30 a month, I am helping to provide a private Christain education, school books and supplies, and a birthday and Christmas present. I've already received her photo. And I will receive more information soon. I think the most exciting part of it is that if I go back to the Dominican Republic, I be able to visit her if I'd like. Pray for Sheyla! I definitely will be!

Back Home

I'm back home from the Dominican Republic and there are a million thoughts rushing around in my head. Our team got back yesterday afternoon. I'll be honest. It's been very strange to come home. I feel like I have so much I take for granted. While I was incredibly excited to take a shower with hot water with actual water pressure, and be able to brush my teeth with running water out of the tap, and walking into air conditioning, and sleeping in my own bed...I wouldn't have expected this, but I really miss it. It was kind of nice to disconnect and unplug from the world. No e-mail, no cell phone, no computer, no Facebook. Those of you who know me know that I'm always in touch with what's going on. But it was really refreshing to not have to worry about any of it for a while. Of course, I did come home to 89 emails (not including work email).

I really wanted to spend today reflecting and writing about my experiences, but I think I still need some time to process. I did journal a lot while I was over there, so I will type up those journal entries and get them posted (hopefully tomorrow).

I just want to say thank you for partnering me with prayers, thoughts, kind words. You are all awesome!

Thoughts on the DR to come soon!

The beauty of languages all worshiping one God

Church this morning was amazing. To think that we were worshiping in an unfinished church where people were coming together to praise God was pretty neat. People who speak different languages, who come from different backgrounds, different countries...but everyone had a common bond in Christ. To hear the gospel being preaches in English, Spanish, French, and Creole was pretty amazing. All the languages come together to make a beautiful sound. How powerful that was!

While I'm still unsure of why God has brought me on this trip, I know that my life will be changed upon my return home. I remember the very first time I went to Cross Point when I was looking for a new church over two years ago, Pete was talking about an upcoming DR trip. I remember watching a video thinking how awesome it would be to be a part of something so eternal. I know sometimes I get so caught up in possessions and how much I have. I wanted to come on this trip and work and love on kids. But I feel like my life has been blessed with so much more. Just by hearing the stories of the people here. How churches and schools and feeding centers have been built. By seeing how God has been working through GO Ministries and the missionaries here. By being surrounded by people with barely any material possessions but are truly happy. For those kids to look up with huge grins on their faces just to have someone hold thier hand or pick them up and give them a hug.

Just how heavy is a bucket of cement?

Today was a long and difficult day. We went back to the church to work this morning. My muscles are tired. I felt worn out, but there was still so much to be done. It's still amazing to me that we are actually building a church. We are putting together a structure for other people to come to worship. It's almost unfathomable to me at this point.

Before lunch, we hauled a lot of water using the passing of the bucket technique. Somewhere along the line, someone invented a new way to pull the water up to the second floor. It seemed more efficient in the long run, but it definitely took some arm muscles.

We left the work site for a couple hours and headed to"The Hole" to help at the feeding center (I figured that deserved it's own post). And after lunch, we started working again. We mixed and poured concrete...lots and lots of concrete. At one point, it started to pour down rain. We continued working. It felt nice that it had cooled down, but with our bodies soaked from the rain, it was almost chilling.

We all worked hard today! And we got a little messy...or a whole lot messy!

When we got back from working at the church, there was no running water. The one day I decided to work hard and not worry about getting dirty. We had to bathe out of large trash cans that were kept in the shower stalls. Trying to get the drying concrete out of my hair was a task too big. I tried to get it wet and comb the cement out of my hair. Hey, at this point, whatever works. :)

"The Hole"

Before lunch, we loaded the vans to go to "The Hole." It was literally a trash dump in Santiago that people had made their home. There were tiny paths where sewer water ran down into the water below. Along the paths were tiny houses no bigger than my living and dining room. Kids with bare feet ran through the sewer water that was slowly making it's way down to the basin below. Starved dogs and cats chased after them. The smell was wretched.


We hadn't gotten very far from and only walked down a few levels, before kids came running with their arms raised just wanting someone to pick them up and love on them.


It broke my heart to see the people living there. We were told that "The Hole" was basically ruled by the drug ward and we were actually there under his protection. Apparently, years ago, when the feeding center and church were first being built, he asked for a meeting with the pastor because he liked what was going on there and he saw hope and future for the kids. So he told the pastor that he would watch out for him and the groups that he would bring in to help with the church and feeding center. It's a pretty crazy story, but I felt safe.

My heart was broken for these kids. That life is what they've always known and even with help and education, it would be so hard to change their lives. We were told that drugs and prostitution are very prevalent there. To look into the eyes of those little girls and know that is the environment that they will more than likely grow up in almost brought tears to my eyes. It was incredibly hard to get back on the bus and leave. I don't think these kids are hopeless at all. They just need love...just look at their faces. I think that says it all.
Below is a short video clip I took with my camera at the basin of "The Hole."

Upon my return home, I found this video that Harold from Morgantown posted. It breaks my heart. Pray for the kids in "The Hole." Pray for their safety and health.

All in a hard days work...

We spent all day yesterday and today working on a church that Cross Point began sponsoring a few years ago. The pastor of the church, Moise has been working along side us. Pray for him as he continues this effort, even after we leave.

We have put a lot of sweat and hard work into tying rebar, lugging buckets of sand, pulling water from the well, and mixing cement. It's definitely not glorious work. But even just the two days we've been working so far, we can see that the second story walls are almost completed. It's amazing to see that when we all come together, we can accomplish so much.

Tonight, I pray for strength.

And if you're curious about how we actually hauled hundreds of buckets of sand and water, check out Pete's video "The Journey of the Bucket."

Flexibility will be key!

7.15.08

How quickly we are welcomed into the Dominican lifestyle. It's only been a few hours since we arrived in Santiago and already we are discovering how much we take for granted. Within our first six hours here, we are already without water. Simple tasks like brushing your teeth, washing your hands, washing your face, and taking out contacts all require a little extra time and thought.

We went out to eat empanadas tonight. On the way back to the dorm, some people who have been here before were talking about one trip where there was no water for three days and electricity would be turned off at night. While I am trying to prepare myself for that, I am hoping it's not something we will deal with this trip. I'll be honest. If I have to go for three days without showering, I'm going to be pretty foul.

Tonight, I pray for flexibility!

In the Dominican Republic...

7.15.08
Wow! The Dominican Republic. First impressions...it's hot...and noisy.

I'm not sure how hot it is, but it feels incredibly HOT!

We had a short "orientation" this afternoon and after it was over, we were told we had a couple hours before dinner. Almost all of us girls came back to the dorm and crashed. I'm sure it had nothing to do with being at the airport at 4:30 this morning! :)

I woke up a few minutes ago, and laid here looking out the second story window down into the city streets of Santiago. Already, I can tell that the culture is so different. Laying here, I can hear the sounds of life being lived outside. Mopeds and motor scooters, honking horns, kids playing catch, some man selling fruit out of his truck, a baby crying, people speaking Spanish, passing cars, more mopeds...

Everything is so loud outside and the sounds come sweeping in our windows with the wind. Yet almost everyone around me is sleeping soundly. What a great way to start the week.

"Here I am"

So, here it is...6pm the night before I leave. I am absolutely nowhere near ready at this point. I've got piles of clothes laid out with an idea of everything I need to take with me. Anyone want to come help me pack?!

I'm definitely starting to feel anxious. I'm not incredibly sure what to expect, but I'm welcoming it with open arms. Yesterday at church, Pete discussed the story of Abraham and Isaac. It takes great faith to say "Here I am," especially when you have no idea what God has in store for you. When I first started attending Cross Point, I remember watching the video of the group who had just traveled to the Dominican Republic. I wanted to go...I was ready to sign up right then. Last summer, I didn't have the PTO to go, or availability with work. I took an information packet home for the spring trip, but never ended up doing anything about it. I felt like God has been slowly preparing me for this for a while. I feel like I jumped one hurdle by signing up for the trip. Now, I stand here saying "Here I am, Lord" hoping that I have the faith to listen and follow.

If you want to follow our trip, check it out...
http://www.crosspointmissions.tv

DR Countdown...One week!

The realization that we leave for the DR in one week came crashing down on me today. I haven't really received a lot of information and I don't feel like I'm prepared. Of course, I realize that it's the over-analyzer coming out in me.

I am super excited about this trip! I know that God is going to do amazing things and I can't wait to be a part of it.

I'm ready!

I'm going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with a group from my church. I'm so excited! It's something I've been wanting to do for a while now, but I didn't have the resources to go. But this summer, I'm all in. Everything came together like clock work to allow me the opportunity to go, so I'm ready!

Apparently, I've almost raised all of my money. It's unbelieveable to me, considering I didn't sign up until the week the money was due. But I'm incredibly excited about going! We will be gone from July 15-22nd. Only one month away!

Back in the saddle again...

For a while, I kind of tapped out of the blogging world. There were days when I felt like posting, but couldn't quite muster up the energy. I had a lot of life change that took me out of commission. I would occasionally post something over the past 2 years, but for the most part, I've been out of the game. So I thought I'd pony up and get back in the saddle. We'll see how long it lasts.

They're BAAAAAACK!

I've been waiting for this my whole life!!! Okay, for the past 15 years! I don't know about you, but I LOVED IT!!! My only question is...why wasn't I camping out in the streets of NYC in my NKOTB sleeping bag waiting for this moment?!

Struggles With Love

This is from my pastor's blog (which is pretty great, by the way!)

Sometimes I Struggle With Love
I had the opportunity to be a part of a couple of weddings this weekend. As usual, 1 Corinthians 13 was one of the selected scriptures. Derek and Bonnie asked me to read it in the Message translation and I loved it. I have read it a few times since then and it gave me a fresh perspective on this passage.

1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

So here is what I want us to discuss today. When you read through the list which aspect of “love” do you struggle with?

For me it was, “love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have”. I have struggled with this on and off throughout my entire life. I’m trying to understand that part of loving God and loving people is learning to be “content” with who I am and what I have.

As long as I WANT your personality, your house, your gift mix, your bank account, your family situation, your health, your job, your friends….your life, than I can’t really love you in the way God has designed me to love you.

So there’s my struggle. How about you?

join the conversation,
Pete
http://withoutwax.tv/2008/05/13/sometimes-i-struggle-with-love/

I often find myself reading his blogs thinking “Is he writing this specifically for me?” Today was definitely one of those days. I definitely struggle with “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.” I feel like I constantly want something I don’t have. But the one that really hit home was “Trusts God always.” Sure, it’s easy to trust that God has a plan for our lives. But when something doesn’t go the way we want it to, or we don’t like the valleys and mountains we have to walk through to get there, sometimes it’s more familiar to try to trust our own instincts. I find myself asking the question of how we get out of that spot. How am I testing my faith daily? And am I really trusting, or just wishfully hoping that things will turn out a certain way?

In honor of this weekend

In honor of the Kentucky Derby, I'd like for everyone to check out "My Ol' Kentucky Home" at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=5887867. I'm showing my roots. :)

A Little Reflection on 2007...

As I prepare to spend my 3rd New Years eve in Nashville, I'm reminded of the past years...and how far I've come. I think often times it's easy to forget where we started versus where we are now. When I moved to Nashville over two years ago, I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't have any money. And I had very few friends in the big city. But when I look at where I am now, I can't help but be thankful. Lots of big things (good and bad) have have happened in my life over the past couple years and last new years eve, I was very excited to enter into 2007!

Let's reflect, shall we...Highlights of 2007Last New Years Eve - The random party that got thrown at our apartment. Lots of great friends, good times, plenty of little weenies, burbon balls, and other great food. Good times all around! Vacation with Robyn to visit Jaclyn - This trip included my first trip up the east coast (or at least part of it). I got to add Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Deleware, and Connecticut to the states I've visited. This also was my first trip to the Big Apple (WHICH I LOVED)! As well as my first trip to DC. This was definitely an amazing vacation!

Buying my first home - This was definitely a huge step for me! For all those who believe I'm afraid of committment...HA! This was something I was hoping would happen this year...and I made it work! And so far, so good (except for my ridiculously loud upstairs neighbors...oh the joys of being a condo owner)! It actually feels like a home and I love it.

Great concerts - I went to a bizillion amazing shows this year! I know I'd have a lot more money in the bank...but each was worth it. Here's some of the best...Butch Walker Andy Davis, Matt Wertz, Dave Barnes, Ben Folds, Justin Timberlake, The Shins, Patty Griffin, Damien Rice, Pete Yorn, John Mayer, Ben Gibbard, Matt Kearney, Nathan Angelo, Amos Lee, Naughty by Nature, AugustanaAny time I've spent with friends, finally finding a position at work that I actually like, time spent with my family, finding great new music...

Mario, Pacman, and Tetris...Oh my!

This weekend, I went to Opry Mills. There in the middle of the mall was this booth with huge tvs selling plug and play game systems. The kind with all the best games...Super Mario Bros, Pacman, Tetris. Those are 3 of my favorite video games ever! Truly amazing. I have no idea why I convinced myself that I needed it in my life. And the fact that it was on sale probably didn't help talk me out of it. So...I did what any great American consumer would do...I bought it! But it really is amazing. I played Tetris for about 5 1/2 hrs straight last night. True story. No joke. I seriously wish I was kidding. :)And I wish I could tell you that right now I'm not contemplating going home for my lunch break just to play. But I'm afraid I might not ever come back to work. Do you think I have a problem?

My longest relationship yet...

Today, I celebrate my 2 year anniversary with Nashville. It's hard to believe that it was two years ago that I had my Explorer and U-Haul crammed with all of my belongings and pulled into my new apt ready to start a new life. It's been one amazing ride, that's for sure! I remember my first couple months here, I was eating peanut butter sandwiches every day. I didn't care, because I was here…and I was following the dream. I didn't have a plan once I got here…I was just going to find a job and make it work. And that's what I did! It was one month after I moved, that I started my job at GHS. I'm constantly asked "What brought you to Nashville?" I honestly don't know. I've just always loved it. There's something about big cities – the lights, the night life, the atmosphere, the big buildings. But Nashville has never felt too big…it's the best of both worlds. It's still grounded in it's southern roots. It's still got that southern feel that just feels like home. And I LOVE it! I've been in my new home for two weeks now. It's amazing!! Every day it feels more and more like home. Thanks for everyone who has supported me…told me that everything would be okay…helped me hold my head a little higher when things got rough. I'm thinking that this relationship will continue…

Just a small town girl...livin' in a lonely world...

I've been in a huge funk for the last few days. I don't know what is going on with me, but I think the gist of is has to do with a lot of stress in my life. I love change, but I've been in the midst of a fairly large one. And it's one I've definitely been struggling with. Last night I was in tears wondering if I made a horrible decision. Now, If you know me at all, you know that I rarely cry. But last night...I was pretty much a mess. I LOVE my condo! And I'm so excited that the big dream of actually owning a home finally came true. But, there's been a lot of unexpected emotions that have come along with it. The first few nights I stayed there, it was almost unbelieveable. But, it's a lot lonelier than I ever imagined it would be. I'm a very social person, but I cherish my alone time. I thought it would be nice to be able to come home from work every night and not have to deal with people...but honestly...it just makes me want to be around people even more. I've spent 11 days in my new home and it still doesn't quite feel like "home." Yesterday, I was having a bad day and when I got home last night, I was feeling very "homesick." Not necessarily in the traditional sense. But I really miss my mom (she's been in Kuwait since the first of Aug). And without her around like she has been the last couple months, it's really made me miss my dad a whole lot. On top of all that, I've also been feeling very blah about work. I seem to start struggling everytime I get bored. I also have no idea where my journal is and it's killing me. I'm sure it's in one of the five boxes I haven't unpacked yet. If anyone wants to come play with me, let me know!

Oh, those summer nights...

I know it's only August 31st and summer isn't offically over yet. But as I was driving home from work tonight, I couldn't help but notice it's not too far off. The temperature is finally begining to drop (at least a little), and the leaves are already starting to change. It's going to be a beautiful fall. I've always been a huge fan of summer. I think mostly because it meant no school, and of course, my birthday. What's not fun about those two very important things to a little kid? But in recent years I've definitely learned to embrace the fall. It's a season of change...and for the last few years, that's definitely held true in my life. I moved to Nashville in the fall of 2005. It's hard to believe that it was almost two years ago. It was definitely a change I welcomed with open arms. But last August, I had to accept an even bigger change in my life...the loss of my father. I don't really think it's something that you ever really "get used to," but rather it becomes a huge part of who you are, and who you become.

As much as I want to hold on to the summer, I really think I'm ready to accept the changes that the fall will bring. Last week, I signed a contract on a condo and will hopefully be closing at the end of September. I'm excited about starting a new adventure and a new chapter in my life...even if it means no concerts, Starbucks, or fun...

But at least for the weekend, I'm going to try to send the summer off with a proper farewell...
Feel free to comment with your own summer favorites...

My itunes playlist - Summer Celebration

Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
Summertime - Bon Jovi
Holiday In The Sun - Weezer
Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly & The Family Stone
Rockin' The Suburbs - Ben Folds
Summertime Blues - The Beach Boys
Holiday - Madonna
Summer Girls - LFO
Rollin' In My 5.0 - Vanilla Ice
Cruel Summer - Bananarama
Back Where I Come From - Kenny Chesney
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
Summertime - Josh Rouse
California - Phantom Planet
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffet
Summer Nights - John Travolta & Olivia Newton John
Copa Cabana - Barry Manilow
Crusin' - Smokey Robinson
Endless Summer Nights - Richard Marx
Pleasant Valley Sunday - The Monkees
Surfin' USA - The Beach Boys

That’s my life...

If everything goes as planned, I will be signing a contract on a condo tomorrow. I am excited and nervous. Everyone keeps giving me a hard time about my committment issues.

I went to the dentist yesterday. He thought I was 19. I just laughed and said "Not quite."

Reese's put out a special edition of peanut butter and banana creme Reese's cups. Someone brought me one to try. They made me want to gag.

I got my tires rotated and balanced yesterday. I think they forgot the balance part...because something was not right once my car hit 65mph. I took it back, it should be fixed when I get off work.

I went to Bowling Green last night to have dinner with my brother. It's a little over an hour drive. I got on the interstate to come home last night and it looked like a parking lot. It took me 3 1/2 hrs to get home. It was way past my bedtime when I got home. I was definitely cranky.

Our electricity went off sometime during the night. I overslept...but only by about 30 minutes. Thank goodness for that internal alarm clock.

I am working the front desk at our office right now. I don't know how I got asked to do it, but working the front desk is really like a vacation. I just have to sit here and answer the phone. It's only rang 3 times in the 3 hours I've been sitting here.

I need to find things to do that don't cost money.

Britany Spears was suppose to record a duet with Justin Timberlake, but dropped out at the last minute. Don't worry JT, I'll come sing with you!

Seriously pathetic...

I was sitting at home trying to find something to do this afternoon or someone to hang out with. I made a couple phone calls, but no one answered. As I hung up the phone, my itunes playlist started playing "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. True Story! Coincidence? Or fate?

Roadtrippin'

Update from the road
7/3/07
*The roadtrip to get to Jaclyn's went well. We ended up getting to Va around 2am.
*This morning, we slept in and went to Old Town Alexandria. It was so cute! I have lots of pics, but I probably won't have them up until later.
*Right now we are trying to decide if we want to spend the 4th of July in New York City or DC. I think they're both very great options! :)
*I am soooooo excited about NYC!!!!!!!!!!!!

7/5/07
*We spent the 4th of July in NYC!! It was amazing. Hopefully I'll have pics up soon!
*I can now check off MD, CT, NY, and DE off the list of states I've visited!
*We spent about 8 hrs in NYC and about 10 hrs on the road. But it was definitely worth it!

7/6/07
*DC was a blast! Even in the heat.
*I loved the Albert Einstein statue chillin' in the park!
*Tomorrow we will spend another 10 hours on the road. Good times!

Some good advice...

Some advice my uncle sent me..."What happens is that as life moves on, goals and desires adapt to new knowledge. The hope would be that the new directions are advances as opposed to lateral or regressive moves. I think you are smart enough to know the difference. Just keep evaluating your objectives and make sure they match who you really are. "

Getting back on my feet

The last couple weeks have been pretty weird...and I haven't really felt like blogging. I don't really know what to write. So I thought I'd type out a prayer I journaled in the middle of the night after I found out my dad passed away.

August 16 3:30am
Lord, I'm terrified. I know that me, Nate, and Corey will be okay. I just need you to hold our hands through this. Please remind each of us how much you love us during this time. I know that Dad is proud of each one of us and I pray that we remember just how much he loved us. These next few days will not be easy. I just ask that you help us through them. Let each of us know that together we will get through it...
Remind me to laugh at the little things. Allow me to appreciate and savor the good times. Most of all, thank you for blessing me with an amazing father for 25 years. Someone who raised me in a Christian home and so many times taught me what it meant to live by faith. Not that he was perfect, but in my eyes, he was always pretty close...

And here's an excerpt from another entry on the day of the funeral.

August 18
Today was hard. I don't think you can ever fully prepare yourself to lose someone. I am so grateful that I am so loved. I'm glad that my brothers have friends that they can count on. I pray that we always remember that we have each other, and that we will be there for each other, no matter what happens.

There are some stories that I'd like to write about before I forget all the details, but I'm not up for it right now.

Trading Spaces...

Lately it seems like I've been wishing to trade rolls with pretty much anyone. Sometimes life isn't as bad as we make it out to be.

Earlier today, we got the call saying that we needed to get to the hospital as soon as we could because they weren't sure how much longer my dad was going to make it. I was terrified that my brothers and I weren't going to make it in time. I was scared that Corey, my youngest brother wasn't going to get to see him.

I was told by a pastor at the hospital today that I needed to tell my dad how much I love him and that I'm proud of him. I just pray that he really does know how much I love him and how glad I am to have him as a father. I've never had a bad relationship with him. They say that your human father often has a reflection of how you view your heavenly father. I praise the Lord that I had a good influence. Someone who was able to raise me in a positive light. Someone who could discipline out of love. Someone who always told me how proud he was of me. Someone who always told me and showed me that he loved me. I feel thankful because it's more than a lot of people get.

Emotional, me?

So, I guess no one can comment about me being unemotional. I've been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster lately. I think it's because I bottle my emotions up and just add to them until they spill over. The bottle definitely had it's fill today. One thing set the trigger and the fountain of tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't gain composure at all. I like to think most of the time I'm pretty strong, when in reality...lately, I've been so weak. I think maybe I just need a big hug!

Just call me "Pink," cause I'm Mizundastood

I feel like I'm living in this weird "in-between" and "what if" world. No one really knows anything...and it's weird how fast, but slow everything is happening.

I seriously have no idea what I'd do if my uncle wasn't around to help make decisions and talk to people. It's really taking a toll on me being so far away.

I feel like I've been incredibly misunderstood lately. It's not that I'm in a bad mood, or that I'm mad. I guess I've just had a tendency to get really frustrated lately. I know that I can't expect people to read my mind, but there's not many people I care to discuss it with.

On another note, Jaclyn gets home soon and I'm super excited to see her.

Finally...a break!

Sometimes we just need a break away from every normal thing we know. I've been so exhausted lately. I've been waking up late, getting to work late, and being frustrated with myself because of it all. I've been in need of a break in a major way, but I'm using all of my PTO to go home to visit my dad every weekend.

Today, I got a treat! I left work at 2pm after feeling like crap all weekend. I called Sarah on my way home to see if she was up for going to the pool. Luckily, she was home and game for the pool. So we laid out and went swimming. It was amazing! I've been wanting to hang out at the pool for over a month now! Then, Mark joined us and we went to Buca de Beppo for dinner...all before 5:30. I came home, watched tv, played online...and I'm going to bed and it's only 9:20!!!

I love today! It was very worry-free...which is defintiely what I needed!

Hospice?

Today, Dad is saying that he wants to do Hospice. Dennis, my uncle, is meeting with the social worker tomorrow to discuss options. I'm feeling a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and I have no idea what to do. I'm so stressed out.

I know about God's perfect timing and all of that, but it's hard to accept.

Okay, I'll admit that I'm a 12 year old girl...

Okay, not really...but I will admit that I absolutely love High School Musical. It's okay, but don't judge til after you've watched it.

I Want to Break Free

Dad is still not doing well. I'm not real sure how his spirits are, but I'm guessing not good. I'm kind of at loss for what to say or do. I want to show him how much I care, but I have no idea how to do that through words. Nothing really seems enough right now. I'm just trying to do my best. I feel like I'm in a trance...going from one day to the next.

I want a break so bad. And that makes me feel so selfish. I just want a break from acting like everything is okay. I'm just tired of listening to everyone else's problems (especially the petty ones).

"We're adults. When did that happen...and how do we make it stop?"

"Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult is totally overrated. I mean, seriously...adulthood is responsibility" -Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

So, I was just watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy from season 1. The above quote rings pretty true. Most of the time I don't feel old enough to have all the responsibility I have...and most of it, I've had for quite some time. It was so much easier to be a kid. All you had to worry about was what time to come in for dinner. Life was playing...having fun. Having a bad day was when your mom cooked something gross for dinner. In my case, it usually had to do with peas.
It'd be great if one day, we could just act like kids. Just to have one day where you don't have to worry about money, sickness, or paying bills, or work, or family problems, or anything else that is constantly on our mind through the course of the day. I want to turn off my cell phone, avoid checking my email, stop checking myspace...and I want to remember how simple life can be. I don't think life was meant to be as hard as we sometimes make it out to be. I just need a reminder of how easy it can be.

I want to play old school Nintendo.

I want to catch lightning bugs.

I want to ride a bike with a friend.

I want to dress up and put on makeup.

I want to eat ice cream for breakfast.

I want to go to a park and feed the ducks and swing on a swingset.

I want to finger paint.

I want to play with sidwalk chalk.

I want to make a masterpiece out of playdoh.

I want to play in a sandbox.

Slowly, I'm going to start checking things off my list. But I might need some play dates to accomplish them all anytime soon. Any takers?