Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Just a small town girl...livin' in a lonely world...

I've been in a huge funk for the last few days. I don't know what is going on with me, but I think the gist of is has to do with a lot of stress in my life. I love change, but I've been in the midst of a fairly large one. And it's one I've definitely been struggling with. Last night I was in tears wondering if I made a horrible decision. Now, If you know me at all, you know that I rarely cry. But last night...I was pretty much a mess. I LOVE my condo! And I'm so excited that the big dream of actually owning a home finally came true. But, there's been a lot of unexpected emotions that have come along with it. The first few nights I stayed there, it was almost unbelieveable. But, it's a lot lonelier than I ever imagined it would be. I'm a very social person, but I cherish my alone time. I thought it would be nice to be able to come home from work every night and not have to deal with people...but just makes me want to be around people even more. I've spent 11 days in my new home and it still doesn't quite feel like "home." Yesterday, I was having a bad day and when I got home last night, I was feeling very "homesick." Not necessarily in the traditional sense. But I really miss my mom (she's been in Kuwait since the first of Aug). And without her around like she has been the last couple months, it's really made me miss my dad a whole lot. On top of all that, I've also been feeling very blah about work. I seem to start struggling everytime I get bored. I also have no idea where my journal is and it's killing me. I'm sure it's in one of the five boxes I haven't unpacked yet. If anyone wants to come play with me, let me know!

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