Thursday, February 24, 2005

give me some lovin'

okay, i'm getting ready to head out for the weekend. i decided that it'd be great to see how much i mean to you guys. i've been in need of some encouragement lately. so...if you're reading this, then i need you to click on the comment button under this post and tell me how much you love me and why. i'm expecting tons of comments when i return. i also accept gifts. you can send them to my house. :) i promise i'll do something special for everyone who leaves a comment. it'll be a surprise, but a fun one.

it's been a long time, baby!

yeah, so it's been a while since i've posted. i could list my excuses, but at this time, i'm feeling a little gracious, so i'll spare you.

i'm suppose to be going to georgia for the weekend to help lead a d-now. i'm really excited about it. i think it will be great for my weary soul. i originally decided to go today, but i woke up late and there's still things that need to be done before i go (as i sit here blogging). so i'm debating whether or not i'm going to be leaving in a couple hours or if i'm actually going to wait til the morning. i'm thinking that i'll be able to function better in a couple hours than i will be in the morning.

yesterday i had a job interview for a call center. it was very strange to me. the lady giving the interview seemed a little crazy. she was a larger lady with a lime green outfit with gold fringe, frizzy blonde hair that she continuously brushed out of her face, and glasses she had to keep pusing up on her nose. she reminded me of my 8th grade english teacher. she sits down with me in this tiny office with blank white walls and one small desk and two chairs. i'm practically sitting beside her because the office was so small. once the door was shut, i start feeling a little trapped. she lays down this huge notebook and opens it up and shuffles through the papers as she tries to catch her breath. she pulls out my application and starts to look over it. she tells me that my resume was impressive and that she has been holding onto it waiting until they were hiring again. i'm taking it as a compliment, but i wonder what an impressive resume looks like for a call center. i wonder how many interviews she's conducted or actually been in. i think she might have been given a book about how to interview and she took ALL of the sample questions out of the back as her guide. she precedes to ask me 2 full pages worth of questions while she frantically writes down my answers.
"tell me about a previous work environment."
"tell me about a previous manager who demonstated bad qualities of a leader." (gee...hard one!)
"describe how you handle conflict?" (i love this question)
"give me an example of a job you've had that you struggled with?
"what's the best job you've ever had?"
"tell me about something you're proud of.
"what type of skills do you have?"
"have you ever been in a position where you didn't agree with someone at work?"
"give me three words that describe yourself."
"what is your work ethic?"
"have you been in a position where you had to handle and irrate person?"
"do you like to work alone or with others?"
"if you could learn anything, take a class on anything...what would it be?"
plus about 50 others.
as i gave my answers, i watched her scribble stuff down on the paper. i was a little worried that her hand was going to fall off. after some of my responses she felt the need to comment on what i'd said.
"great answer."
"spoken like a true business woman."
"that's wonderful."
"sounds like you've got some great experience with that."
it was starting to freak me out a little. i'm glad she was impressed, but it was just a little weird. next we go into the call center. as we walk through, everyone stares. do i have a booger? toilet paper stuck to my foot? a black mark on my face? at that point i felt a little uncomfortable. we walk to the back corner of the building and she turns on a computer and asks me to take a seat in front of it. for about 10 minutes we did a role playing exercise where i read the script off screen and pretended to be the caller, she was on the other end of the phone. it was very simple. all i did was read through the script and either type her answers or press a number key. at that point i was actually wondering if there were people who failed the interview based on that part. i'm sure there have been, but thanks to my 1st grade teacher and my wonderful parents, i think i have achieved a pretty excellent reading level. i used to love to read outloud in class (yeah, i've always been a dork). so after our pretend session, we go back to the tiny room. she offers me the position.
"does everything you've seen here today seem like the type of environment you'd like to be working in?"
my brain is going nuts. NO! i really don't want to work here. but somehow, my mouth managed to come up with some words on it's own.
"yes, yes it does."
"great! let's put you into a team and i'll explain the training process."
so she gets out a calendar and tells me that i can start on the 21st. the 21st of march. MARCH! that's a month away. at that moment, i'm filled with mixed emotions. what? a whole month before i can start? she said she was going to send me some information about training and other important paperwork. she tells me that she's very glad that i came in for an interview and she's excited to bring me on.
so that's my very strange interview. i got hired, but not for another month. i was really hoping that it was something i could start soon. maybe i can find something before then. at this point, who knows...

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

still up for grabs!

as promised, i did my math!
the points stand at

robyn - 9000

jeremy - 1000

chad - 1000

anyone who wants some points...there are still quotes no one has guessed that are up for grabs! come on! you know these!!!! i'll give you a couple days to answer...if no one does, i'm keeping the points to myself.

4. "Black works Mom. Jesus like had his funeral on Christmas."
"Jesus died on Easter, Barbie!"
"Jesus was resurrected on Easter, moron."

5. "I SO need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me the part about Kenny G again?"

8. "Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies."

12. "Why do you think people want to get married?""When you get old, you just have to."

14. "You look so good with blonde hair and black roots, it's like not even funny."

16. "Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?"17. "Sometimes, the only way to catch and uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring."18. "Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker."

17. "Sometimes, the only way to catch and uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring."18. "Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker."

18. "Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker."

old friends, hitch, and great surprises

friday night, brooke and i ventured to southern indiana to hang out with one of my best friends from high school. it was fun. he took us to dinner, then we went to the movies, then back to his house to hang out. we sat around talking about crazy stuff...old tv commercials, the old drive in that was torn down when i was about 5, music, old tv shows, was great. he's one of the few people i still talk to from high school and it's fun because even though so much has changed in both of our lives since then, there's still something there that connects us even when we don't talk for a long time.

friday night we helped contribute to hitch being at the top of the box office grossing over 45.3 million dollars. what can i say, the trailer was so hillarious i was laughing every time it was on tv. so...i decided we should go see it.
yeah, it might be getting a lot of attention because it opened valentine's day weekend, and it's your predictable romantic comedy. but will smith and kevin james deliever likeable characters and some pretty funny moments. even the parts in the trailer that were funny weren't a disappointment...they were actually funnier in context. plus it's not one of those movies that shows all the funniest parts in the trailer only to disappoint you when you go see it. it's not the greatest movie ever, but i'd definitely recommend it.

saturday i was cleaning my room and matt called to see if i wanted to meet him and john at wendy's. they were passing through town on their way home from a conference and they wanted to stop and eat. lucky me! it was fun hanging out with both of them (even though it was a short time). it's been a while since i've been around them together. fun times! great surprises!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

cool art made by yours truly

sad day for amy and her comments

i've been having problems with my halo scan comments, so i had to get rid of it! it was a hard decision to make because i didn't want to lose my precious comments that have been posted over the last 10 months. i guess that means you'll just have to post more comments so i won't feel bad losing my old ones! :) sad day all around.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

quotes for everyone! i've never been very good at math. i hate adding. but for you, beautiful readers, i will do the math. guess the correct quotes and you can have 1000 pts for each correct answer. winner receives bragging rights. ready, set...GO!

1. "I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition."

2. "Did they run out of butter or something? How could they run out of butter. I should have an assistant, because if I had an assistant, she would be out milking a COW and I would never run out of butter!"

3. "Up until now, one could write this off to coincidence. But then she reaches in her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart - the very same breakfast pastry I was consuming at that moment!"

4. "Black works Mom. Jesus like had his funeral on Christmas."
"Jesus died on Easter, Barbie!"
"Jesus was resurrected on Easter, moron."

5. "I SO need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me the part about Kenny G again?"

6. "I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you."

7. "I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French."

8. "Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies."

9. "You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other."

10. "This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone."

11. "I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."

12. "Why do you think people want to get married?"
"When you get old, you just have to."

13. "There's a difference between like and love. I mean I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack."

14. "You look so good with blonde hair and black roots, it's like not even funny."

15. "We're goldfish people, we're antfarm people. We're not dog people."

16. "Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?"

17. "Sometimes, the only way to catch and uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring."

18. "Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker."

19. "Any second now he's gonna look at me and say, "You're so not worth this."

20. "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."

Monday, February 14, 2005

happy hearts day!

i'm not a big fan of valentines day (granted, i might possibly feel differently if i had someone to spend the day with and actually get excited about). i hate the fact that so many people use it as one of the few days a year when they do something special for their "special someone." it's a commercial driven holiday, about buying the perfect gift...blah blah blah...last year i had to go to the store on valentine's day. i don't remember why i was there or what i was going to get, but i was so annoyed at all the guys picking up their last minute gifts for their sweethearts. i think if they wanted to make it a special day and show how much they care, they would have done something more than run out to kroger on their way home from work and pick up a box of chocolate and a pre-cut rose. i'm not saying that those are bad gifts, but what good do those gifts do if you're not showing them you care the rest of the year?

i think my lack of interest in valentine's day comes from my bad experiences. in grade school, every kid had to bring in valentines and share them with the rest of the class. yes, those prewritten snoopy and care bears and michael jordan valentine's cards said a lot more than happy v-day. you and your best friend knew how to decifer which cards were sincere and which ones were forced. no one wanted to give the "glue eater" one of their best cards, you'd give him the one you liked the least. the one that said "you're my friend, valentine!" the great cards, the ones that said "be mine, valentine!" were always reserved for those cute boys. the ones you secretly had a crush on.

when i was in 8th grade, we had a 15 minute "activity period" before lunch. this was a time when clubs could meet once a week, or we could use it as a study time. mostly, we'd sit around and talk or play games. i was sitting in a desk when this 7th grade girl comes in and says "who has locker 109?"
i walked to the door and looked out in the hallway, everyone else hot on my heels. taped to my locker was a huge red heart shaped box of chocolates. i ran over and grabbed the note off of it, pulled the box off and stuck it into the bottom unused locker under mine and went back to class. then i unfoled the note. it was from a 7th grader. not just any 7th grader, but a dorky 7th grader. i was so embarrassed! some of the guys in my class got the chocolates out of the empty locker and ate them, all of them. later that day i remember being lectured by my homeroom teacher, who had found out about the incident. she told me that "a proper lady gives back gifts when they're not interested in the boy." she was a little upset when i told her that her son had eaten most of them, therefore i couldn't return them.

my freshman year i got to school on valentine's day to find i had a secret admirer. it was waiting in a note given to me by a friend. i had no clue who this boy was, and even after friends pointed him out to me, i still had no idea. throughout the day i was given a red (half wilted) rose, a white stuffed monkey wearing a tuxedo holding a rose, and more notes (the handwritting looked like a 6 year old). phone calls and notes in my locker went on for weeks until he finally got the hint that i didn't want to go out with him.

[i know that i sound cruel, but i really wasn't! i was nice to these boys, just very uninterested. they were persistent, but that didn't change my mind. i didn't like either of them and i wasn't interested in getting to know them. plus i majorly freaked out and didn't know what to do...i was like 13 or 14.]

my junior year, i actually had a boyfriend, but valentine's day fell on the weekend. we had a guard competition, so that threw off any valentine's day plans.

there's more, but those are the stories that remind me of my valentine's day curse. the one's that remind me of why it's never been a day of special memories. hopefully, one day my good memories will outweigh the bad. but for now, i'll just take it for what it is, an over commercialized, made-up day to celebrate love.

so as promised, i give you my picks for best romantic movies. i'm going to add my favorite quotes too (thanks crystal for the great idea).
1. say anything
"what i really want to do with my life, what i want to do for a living, is i want to be with your daughter. i'm good at it."

2. dirty dancing
"i'm scared of everything. i'm scared of what i saw, i'm scared of what i did, of who i am, and most of all i'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way i feel when i'm with you."

3. pretty woman
"so what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?"
"she rescues him right back."

4. meet joe black
"love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. if you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? fall head over heels. i say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. and how do you find him? forget your head and listen to your heart. i'm not hearing any heart. run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. to make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. you have to try. because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

5. when harry met sally
"i love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. i love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. i love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like i'm nuts. i love that after i spend the day with you, i can still smell your perfume on my clothes. and i love that you are the last person i want to talk to before i go to sleep at night. and it's not because i'm lonely, and it's not because it's new year's eve. i came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

6. untamed heart
"i wonder if you think about me."
"of course i think about you."
"i wasn't finished!"
"i wonder if you think about me half as much as i think about you."

7. when a man loves a woman
"i think i could love you again if you could, for once, say 'i don't know.'"

8. beauty and the beast
"i let her go."
"ha ha ha, yes. splend-- you what? how could you do that?"
"i had to."
"yes, but WHY?"
"because, i love her."

i can't be getting sick!

so i slept all day yesterday and i've been feeling like crap. i'm a little worried that i caught strep throat from the kids i was babysitting (they found out wednesday that both of them had strep). i thought that my allergies were going crazy because of the weather, but now i'm starting to wonder. when i was in high school everyone in my family kept getting strep throat except me. nate would get it, corey would get it, then they'd get better and my mom would get it, then my brothers would get sick again. it was a cycle that went on for weeks. finally we were all taken in and tested and apparently i had strep and was giving it to everyone else. but my throat never even hurt and i had no idea. so i'm a little worried right now.

my throat was hurting yesterday when i woke up, but i thought it was because my allergies have been INSANE. if the weather would just decide if it wants to be winter or spring, i might start feeling better...but that's not the case. 30 degrees one day, 60 the next. my head has been so congested. i don't understand how we can have all kinds of holes in our head, but i still feel like it would help if i drilled a hole through my forehead to get rid of some of the pressure. apparently the zyrtec isn't living up to it's expectations. maybe i've developed an immunity to it (it's happened with every other allergy medicine i've ever been on). ugh

Saturday, February 12, 2005


i totally forgot about the gates! how could i have forgotten?

i read a few months ago that christo and jeanne-claude were working on their new project the gates. it opened today. i first fell in love with their work when i was taking an art history class my first semester of college. one of my favorites was the umbrellas. i actually was so interested in their work that i did some research outside of class and found that i enjoyed other projects by them as well (yeah, some of them are a little strange). but the whole idea of the gates is just beautiful to me. imagine new york's central park (yeah, so i've never been there, but...) in february. drab and dull...then all of a sudden, it's made beautiful, almost like an early springtime. okay, so maybe i'm a lot more excited than you are, but man, check out this stuff...i love it!

on jan 22, 2003 the mayor of new york city, announced that the city has given permission to artists christo and jeanne-claude to use central park as a work of art.

there are 7500 gates, 16 feet high with a width varying from 5' 6" to 18 feet will line the walkways of the park over the 23 miles of footpaths. free hanging orange colored fabric panels fall from the horizontal part of the top of the gates. the gates is scheduled for february 2005, to remain for 16 days, then the 7,500 Gates shall be removed and the materials will be recycled. (from

the materials which will be recycled, include:

• 5,290 tons of steel (equal to 2/3 the steel in the eiffel tower) for the 15,000 specially designed steel footing weights, varying between 615 and 837 pounds each, according to the width of the gate. the gates vary in width because there are 25 different widths of walkways in central park. the weights are resting on the hard surface of the walkways and won't leave holes in central park.

• 315,491 linear feet (60 miles) of vinyl tube, 5 inch x 5 inch square, (12,7 x 12,7 cm.) extruded in saffron color, recyclable, specially designed, (for each gate: 2 vertical 16 feet long, and one horizontal (varying between 6 and 18 feet, because the width of the walkways varies)

• 15,000 specially designed, recyclable, cast aluminum upper corner reinforcements which hold together the 2 vertical poles to the horizontal pole.

• 15,000 base anchor sleeves. Which will be bolted to the steel footing weights.

• 15,000 (1/2 inch x 8 inch x 8 inch) steel leveling plates. the leveling plate is between the base anchor sleeve and the steel base, it has a pivoting bolt which will ensure the perfect verticality of the poles, even when the walkways are inclined.

• 165,000 bolts and self locking nuts.

• 15,000 (8 x 8 x 8 inch) vinyl leveling plate covers, to hide the bolts.

• 116,389 miles of nylon thread specially woven into 1,067,330 square feet of recyclable, rip-stop fabric,that were cut and sewn into 7,500 fabric panels of various widths. 46 miles of hems.

the gates will remain in central park for 16 days, then the removal will start. so, who's going to take me to new york before the 27th????

more useless knowledge

i was going to post earlier, but i started reading random facts about marilyn monroe. i have no idea why, or how i even got there...but about an hour later, here i am. i guess that's probably how i waste most of my day. since i don't really have anything to do, i fill my brain with random trivia. and you wonder how i'm so smart!

did you know...

- even thought you always hear her name was really norma jeane baker, her birth certificate actually read norma jeane mortenson.

- she was married to james dougherty, joe dimaggio, and arthur miller.

- marilyn used to wash her face up to 15 times a day. she used to apply vaseline or olive oil on her face when at home, because she thought her face would remain fresh and young.

- she didn't like to show her hands on the screen, because she thought they were fat.

- she used to brush her teeth with baking soda every day to whiten them.

- she never swam in the pool of her brentwood home.

- in a photograph of her from 1946 it appears she has a sixth toe on her right foot. some claim she had the sixth toe surgically removed shortly thereafter. other state marilyn had five toes on each foot (including her first husband).

- "probable suicide" was the official verdict of her death, however many believe that she was murdered...some even suspect the kennedys had a part in it.

- she hated her blonde hair and only dyed it because her agent convinced her to. as time went on, her hair was bleached so much it began to fall out, so it was styled shorter and wasn't as thick in her later films.

- her mother used to tell her that her father was clark gable. she actually met him on the set of 'the misfits' and she called him 'daddy' until he told her that he was definately not her father.

- she had endometriosis.

- the burial plot next to hers was bought by hugh hefner for $85,000.

- she had to wear two pairs of white underwear for the infamous blowing up dress scene in the seven year itch.

- she was good friends with actor rock hudson. he was upset that he wasn't permitted to attend her funeral due to dimaggio's wishes.

- frank sinatra was asked to be one of the pallbearers, but due to a falling out with dimaggio he wasn't allowed to attend the ceremony.

i also read other stuff about her autopsy, weird happenings of the day she died, testimonies from her housekeeper and handyman and some other random stuff.

but i guess it will remain a mystery...was it suicide or murder? i guess anybody can have their own opinion, sort of like the deaths of other famous stars...elvis, for instance.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

fun times

my little trip to nashville was so much more of a blessing than i would have ever expected, so now that it's over, i'm really glad i went.

last night stephen helped me get a first version of a decent resume reel completed. okay, so he practically did it for me while i sat there and watched. but after a year of meaning to put one together, it's finally done. now if i can track down some of my missing work, i'll have something a little better to add to it.

i stayed at bethany's house last night, but i didn't see her because she was in bed before i got there (at 2am...3 my time) and was gone when i got up. i slept in a little and took my time getting ready. then i headed downtown to LW to do a little visiting. i got there in time to meet emily for lunch. i wanted to visit some other people who worked there and i wanted to see bethany in the flesh (plus i had her key). i found out she'd already taken her lunch break, so i made my way upstairs where i ran into a amy k. from my staff last summer and she introduced me to my director for this coming summer. it was exciting to meet her and talk to her for a few minutes, so i can't wait to see what the summer brings. when amy k. introduced me she said "you're going to love having amy on your staff. she's so incredible and fun and she's one of the most passionate people." it was so good to hear her say that. not in a prideful way at all. but it's nice to know that what i love to do the most shows through enough for someone else to see it. plus, passion has been somewhat of a reoccurring theme in my life lately.

so i make my way to bethany's floor and sit and chat with her for a while. it was so good to be around people that love me and genuinely care about me. we talked about our crazy times out west and relived some of the good memories (and a few of the not so good).

after that, i started heading home, making a pit stop in BG. i was hoping to see some people i knew and there had been talk about meeting ashley and amanda for dinner. i pull off the interstate with 2 hrs to kill before time to meet the girls. so i head to church (the one thing i miss the most about that town) to see if anyone is in the office. i was in luck, jc was there. he wasn't in his office when i got there, but i was told that he'd be right back. so i took a seat and waited. a few minutes later he comes walking through the door. he stops in his tracks, looks a little surprised and screams "hey! what in the world are you doing here?" i surprised him a little bit, so it was fun. while we were sitting there chatting, john fisher came in. stopped dead in his tracks and yells "amy thomas, what are you doing?" it was a great surprise for me! it's been a while since i've seen him and it's so much better to see someone in person than hear their voice on the phone. we went to starbucks for a little while and killed some time. it worked out perfectly because i was suppose to meet ashley and amanda at 5 and he had to go to class. by the time i met the girls for dinner, i was already feeling so blessed. we had a great time, we talked a lot, and we giggled even more.

days like today it's hard to see people i care about and realize that they care about me just as much. it's hard to be in a place with no constant friends or support group...that are person. email is great and phone conversations are great. but it's not the same. you can't give someone a hug, you can't look into someone's eyes and see how much they love you over the phone or by email. as much as it is to have great friends who i can always count on to listen to my dumb stories on the phone, or share silly emails or chat online with, it's not the same as having a real person there in front of you. today reminded me of those people and how amazing they are, even if it's only once in a blue moon when i get to see them. plus, it reminded me how great hugs are.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

okay, okay...i'm leaving now

i'm suppose to be going to nashville. i should have probably already left because i was going to stop in BG and visit some people. the problem is, i'm not really motivated to go. it's raining and gross. driving in the road makes me sleepy. rain makes me want to put on slow music or lay around in my pajamas and watch movies...not drive.

i'm headed down to meet my friend stephen, who is going to help me get a sample reel together. it's something that should have been done about 2 years ago. i had originally planned to get my crap together on mon and tues night and go through it and make sure it was all there. but then i was babysitting all day and by the time i got home i was so exhausted. i'm sure being a huge procrastinator in situations like this doesn't help.

these next two days are going to be weird for me. hopefully everything that needs to get done will happen. i still haven't heard back from one of my profs about getting copies, so hopefully that will all work out without much hassle.

now i really don't want to go!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

peter pan syndrome

something peaked my interest tonight, so i dug around and found a recent issue of time magazine from jan 24. there's an article called grow up? not so fast. i was definitely intrigued by just reading the tagline under the article's title, "meet the twixters. they're not kids anymore, but they're not adults either. why a new breed of yound people won't - or can't? - settle down. by lev grossman.

the article is about 9 pages in length, but it's a great read. i highly recommend it to anyone who's been feeling like they're still sitting in my boat with me...not going anywhere.

here's the meat of the article.

*"Ten years ago, we might have called them Generation X, or slackers, but those labels don't quite fit anymore. This isn't just a trend, a temporary fad or a generational hiccup. This is a much larger phenomenon, of a different kind and a different order."

*"Social scientists are starting to realize that a permanent shift has taken place in the way we live our lives. In the past, people moved from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to adulthood, but today there is a new, intermediate phase along the way. The years from 18 until 25 and even beyond have become a distinct and separate life stage, a strange, transitional never-never land between adolescence and adulthood in which people stall for a few extra years, putting off the iron cage of adult responsibility that constantly threatens to crash down on them. They're betwixt and between. You could call them twixters."

*"But whatever the cause, twixters are looking for a sense of purpose and importance in their work, something that will add meaning to their lives, and many don't want to rest until they find it. "They're not just looking for a job," Arnett says. "They want something that's more like a calling, that's going to be an expression of their identity." Hedonistic nomads, the twixters may seem, but there's a serious core of idealism in them..."

*"The twixters aren't lazy, the argument goes, they're reaping the fruit of decades of American affluence and social liberation. This new period is a chance for young people to savor the pleasures of irresponsibility, search their souls and choose their life paths. But more historically and economically minded scholars see it differently. They are worried that twixters aren't growing up because they can't. Those researchers fear that whatever cultural machinery used to turn kids into grownups has broken down, that society no longer provides young people with the moral backbone and the financial wherewithal to take their rightful places in the adult world. Could growing up be harder than it used to be?"

*"Parents were baffled when their expensively educated, otherwise well-adjusted 23-year-old children wound up sobbing in their old bedrooms, paralyzed by indecision. "Legally, they're adults, but they're on the threshold, the doorway to adulthood, and they're not going through it," Apter says. The percentage of 26-year-olds living with their parents has nearly doubled since 1970, from 11% to 20%, according to Bob Schoeni, a professor of economics and public policy at the University of Michigan."

*"Jeffrey Arnett, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland, favors "emerging adulthood" to describe this new demographic group, and the term is the title of his new book on the subject. His theme is that the twixters are misunderstood. It's too easy to write them off as overgrown children, he argues. Rather, he suggests, they're doing important work to get themselves ready for adulthood. "This is the one time of their lives when they're not responsible for anyone else or to anyone else," Arnett says. "So they have this wonderful freedom to really focus on their own lives and work on becoming the kind of person they want to be." In his view, what looks like incessant, hedonistic play is the twixters' way of trying on jobs and partners and personalities and making sure that when they do settle down, they do it the right way, their way. It's not that they don't take adulthood seriously; they take it so seriously, they're spending years carefully choosing the right path into it.
But is that all there is to it? Take a giant step backward, look at the history and the context that led up to the rise of the twixters, and you start to wonder, Is it that they don't want to grow up, or is it that the rest of society won't let them?"

*"College is the institution most of us entrust to watch over the transition to adulthood, but somewhere along the line that transition has slowed to a crawl. In a TIME poll of people ages 18 to 29, only 32% of those who attended college left school by age 21. In fact, the average college student takes five years to finish. The era of the four-year college degree is all but over."

*"As colleges struggle to get their students ready for real-world jobs, they are charging more for what they deliver. The resulting debt is a major factor in keeping twixters from moving on and growing up."

*"Thirty years ago, most financial aid came in the form of grants, but now the emphasis is on lending, not on giving. Recent college graduates owe 85% more in student loans than their counterparts of a decade ago, according to the Center for Economic and Policy Research."

*"In TIME's poll, 66% of those surveyed owed more than $10,000 when they graduated, and 5% owed more than $100,000. (And this says nothing about the credit-card companies that bombard freshmen with offers for cards that students then cheerfully abuse. Demos, a public-policy group, says credit-card debt for Americans 18 to 24 more than doubled from 1992 to 2001.) The longer it takes to pay off those loans, the longer it takes twixters to achieve the financial independence that's crucial to attaining an adult identity, not to mention the means to get out of their parents' house."

*"Meanwhile, those expensive, time-sucking college diplomas have become worth less than ever. So many more people go to college now—a 53% increase since 1970—that the value of a degree on the job market has been diluted. The advantage in wages for college-degree holders hasn't risen significantly since the late 1990s, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. To compensate, a lot of twixters go back to school for graduate and professional degrees. But piling on extra degrees costs precious time and money and pushes adulthood even further into the future."

*"They're well aware of the fact that they will not work for the same company for the rest of their life," says Bill Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution, a think tank based in Washington. "They don't think long-term about health care or Social Security. They're concerned about their careers and immediate gratification."

*"But whatever the cause, twixters are looking for a sense of purpose and importance in their work, something that will add meaning to their lives, and many don't want to rest until they find it. "They're not just looking for a job," Arnett says. "They want something that's more like a calling, that's going to be an expression of their identity." Hedonistic nomads, the twixters may seem, but there's a serious core of idealism in them."

*"James Cote is a sociologist at the University of Western Ontario and the author of several books about twixters, including Generation on Hold and Arrested Adulthood. He believes that the economic bedrock that used to support adolescents on their journey into adulthood has shifted alarmingly. "What we're looking at really began with the collapse of the youth labor market, dating back to the late '70s and early '80s, which made it more difficult for people to get a foothold in terms of financial independence," Cote says. "You need a college degree now just to be where blue- collar people the same age were 20 or 30 years ago, and if you don't have it, then you're way behind." In other words, it's not that twixters don't want to become adults. They just can't afford to."

*"One way society defines an adult is as a person who is financially independent, with a family and a home. But families and homes cost money, and people in their late teens and early 20s don't make as much as they used to."

*"TIME's poll only half of those ages 18 to 29 consider themselves financially independent. Michigan's Schoeni says Americans ages 25 and 26 get an average of $2,323 a year in financial support from their parents."

*"With everything else that's going on—careers to be found, debts to be paid, bars to be hopped—love is somewhat secondary in the lives of the twixters. But that doesn't mean they're cynical about it. That attitude is new, but it didn't come out of nowhere. Certainly, the spectacle of the previous generation's mass divorces has something to do with the healthy skepticism shown by the twixters."

*"But if twixters are getting married later, they are missing out on some of the social-support networks that come with having families of their own. To make up for it, they have a special gift for friendship, documented in books like Sasha Cagen's Quirkyalone and Ethan Watters' Urban Tribes, which asks the not entirely rhetorical question Are friends the new family? They throw cocktail parties and dinner parties. They hold poker nights. They form book groups. They stay in touch constantly and in real time, through social-networking technologies like cell phones, instant messaging, text messaging and online communities like Friendster. They're also close to their parents. TIME's poll showed that almost half of Americans ages 18 to 29 talk to their parents every day."

the culture

*"Look at that little TV show called Friends, about six people who put off marriage well into their 30s. Even twice-married Britney Spears fits the profile. For a succinct, albeit cheesy summation of the twixter predicament, you couldn't do much better than her 2001 hit I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman."

*As for movies, a lot of twixters cite Garden State as one that really nails their predicament. "I feel like my generation is waiting longer and longer to get married," says Zach Braff, 29, who wrote, directed and starred in the film about a twentysomething actor who comes home for the first time in nine years. "In the past, people got married and got a job and had kids, but now there's a new 10 years that people are using to try and find out what kind of life they want to lead. For a lot of people, the weight of all the possibility is overwhelming."

*"Maybe the twixters are in denial about growing up, but the rest of society is equally in denial about the twixters. Nobody wants to admit they're here to stay, but that's where all the evidence points."

i know it's a lot to take in, but the whole article is a lot longer. those are the points i felt were most relevant to me and the people i know. i'm also trying to figure out where i fit into the picture of the "twixters." anyway, i found it really interesting. i guess it also goes to show that others in the same place really appreciated garden state as well. well said, zach braff, well said.

Monday, February 07, 2005

how much tv does the average kid watch?

logan was sick, so i babysat all day today and i'll be doing the same thing tomorrow as well. he didn't even wake up til 11am and even after he was awake, he was so sick he just layed in his room and watched tv. i think it's a great thing. i'm getting paid to lay around someone else's house and watch their incredibly large flat screen tv, eat their food, and break in their new comfy leather couch. i realize i sound like a 16 year old, but i'm okay with that. poor logan was so sick he didn't even want to play. he just watched blues clues and basketball on his tv all day. so that left me with nothing to do all day long. don't worry. i think i watched enough tv for you, and you, and you...and you...

let me chart out the day
7:30 - arrive - dad and molly leave
7:45 - eat poptarts and drink coffee
8:00 - good morning america/ local morning show/channel surfing
9:00 - the last hour of serendipity
10:00 - dawson's creek
11:00 - dawson's creek
12:00 - full house
12:30 - full house
1:00 - family matters
1:30 - family matters
2:00 - step by step
2:30 - step by step
3:00 - boy meets world
3:30 - boy meets world
4:00 - full house
4:30 - full house
5:00 - gilmore girls
5:45 - mom came home i was also taking care of a very sick kid, giving him medicine, checking on him, reading the paper, fixing lunch, getting know. but still...that's the most i've watched tv in one day probably EVER. tomorrow...dawson's creek series finale is on! whoo hoo. if logan is up feeling better, it might not be watched...but who knows.

since i watched sooo much tv today, i've been seeing all kinds of network ads trying to promote the movies they're showing for valentines day. so i'm going to compose my list of my favorite "valentine's day-ish" movies (by the way, i hate v-day! more on that later). so i want to hear from you on this. what movies absolutely must make my list?

Saturday, February 05, 2005

what a great night

i babysat tonight for 2 of the greatest kids ever! it was so good and so refreshing. logan is 7 and he has a learning disability with some autistic tendencies. the parents just found out recently that he will never obtain the skills above a third grade level. i've known this family for years, even before they ever had kids. since logan was a baby, they've always known things weren't normal with him. he had glasses as a two year old and i remember thinking he looked like the kid from jerry maguire (you know, "the human head weighs 8 lbs" kid). despite his disabilities, he's so sweet and full of love, giving hugs freely whenever he feels like it. i walked up to the front door and he was standing there waiting to greet me with a huge hug.

molly is 4 and she's just absolutely adorable. she jumped up and down when i walked in and was so excited. it really surprised me because it's been over a year ago since i watched these kids. i see them regularly because they're related to brooke, but i was still taken back by how excited they were that i was their sitter for the night.

so pizza was ordered, coloring book pages were colored, bracelets were made, brother bear was watched, and popcorn was eaten. a great time was had by all.

i forget how great four year olds are. they're young enough to still want to cuddle up with you on the couch. they're still young enough to admit the big bear on tv is a little scary as they snuggle in a little closer to you for protection. but they're grown up and independent enough to pour their own drink, help put dishes away (in the bottom cabinets), and stay up late (even if their eyes are getting very heavy). i was reminded of what it was like to be that age and be so carefree.

logan spent most of the night watching basketball. and when there's a game on, there's no pulling him away from the tv. he might not know normal 7 year old stuff, but he can name his favorite basketball team lineups and tell you all about their latest games. while logan watched his game, i colored with molly. it was probably my favorite part of the evening. first we had to "color a picture for her so she could remember me" (her words). then she decided that i had to have one to take home with me too. and the next time i babysit, i'm expected to take it back to her and trade. :) i'm guessing that it will bond our friendship. i love four year old minds.

anyway, it was a great way to spend my saturday night. i can't wait to do it again. very good for the soul.

here's the picture we colored for me. notice the extra detail that's not part of the regular picture. i love it! after we got done, she wanted to name the dinosaurs. i'm pretty sure she was thinking about little foot and his friends and their adventures in the millions of land before time movies, but it's cute nonetheless. egg stealer is the rainbow colored dino. he has a twizzler sticking out of his mouth. oh yeah...that's me up in the corner. i'm green and i'm wearing a skirt. be sure to click on it for the full effect of the other surprises hidden within the picture.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

the truth of the matter

i'm going to indulge in a little venting via my blog. so if you don't want to venture into the dark unknown of this post, i honestly don't blame you. enter at your own risk, but don't say i didn't warn you.

last night i was with brooke and her mom and of course her mom asked the inevitable question..."have you found a job yet." to which i replied with a "no." i sort of laughed it off, i mean, what else could i do. but instead of leaving it at that, she felt the need to continue to ask me questions and offer advice. "what are you going to do...the longer you wait, the harder it gets to find, you've been looking for a long time...are you really looking for something, or just kind of waiting?" at first i sat there answering her, but as she went on and on it got harder to even say anything. then she precedes to tell me this story of a relative who inherited money after he graduated college when he was 28. at that point in his life, he quit his job because he thought he could live off the family money he'd come into without having to least for a while. but then years went by and he never started looking for a job. and now, 5 years later he actually wants to work, but he can't find a job. i'll just be pissed me off. i have absolutely no idea why she would tell me that story, or how it compared to me. but i just sat there, staring out the window of the blazer as she drove us home. i didn't say anything at all in fear that my voice would show that i was fighting back tears. i didn't turn to look at brooke in the backseat. i didn't move.

so i've been looking for a job forever. i still haven't found anything. and when i say anything, i guess i should be specific. i haven't found anything that i qualify for. i'm not trying to say that i am above everyone and i won't take a job that doesn't meet my ideal job. i'm just saying that i have a college degree and i don't want to work at mcdonalds. i've been looking for a job to just pay my bills and get by, but i haven't had luck with that either. apparently, people have a really hard time understanding that. they think that there's no way possible i could have applied for 50 jobs and not even gotten an interview for one. but hey, believe it. why would i lie about it? i think that's what upsets me even more. when i tell people that i can't find a job, they say things like "go work at a restraunt" or "find a call service center" and other "helpful" things like that. the problem is...i can't hire myself. someone else has to do that part. i can apply for all the jobs in the city, but it's not going to do me any good unless someone hires me.

today i hung out with my mom. we ran some errands, went to starbucks, bought new shoes, and went to my grandmas. it was there that the conversation came up yet again. "so, have you had any job leads?"
"nope." but the conversation has to continue.
"surely you'll be able to find something soon."
"i hope so."
"where are you looking?"
blah blah blah...
so the conversation turns into "you should really think about going into the airforce. they have great benefits, you get a sign on'd start out as an officer..."
seriously, do they know me?
i tried to play the happy grandaughter role, but i'm sure the scowl on my face gave away my true feelings. i was not happy. i felt dumb. i felt like a bad problem and they needed to find a solution for me.

i think the hardest part about all of this is that i've finally come to a point where i'm starting to understand God's timing in all of this. i'm starting to see the bigger picture. i'm starting to see that i need to trust him with all of it and not just a piece of it. i'm starting to see that he is faithful all the time and he will provide for me. yeah, so i knew most of it anyway, but i'm starting to believe it and see it for myself. the whole time i've been pushing myself to try harder, search for more jobs, keep looking, follow up. and here i am, still no job, just as miserable as ever. so over the past week, i've been letting it go. i've known all along that God is in control, but i never gave him control. i kept holding on. so now that i've given it all over to him, i feel the pressure more from other people. i'm being pushed around and shoved in different directions. it's a hard place to be. i feel so vulnerable and i know that's why it's getting to me. it's scary...and i don't like it.

feb 2 - groundhog day

with it being groundhog day and all, i couldn't help in honor of that stupid groundhog, puxatawney phil, i give you...

Phil: There is no way this winter is *ever* going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.

Phil: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

Phil: You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

Phil: Do you know what today is?
Rita: No, what?
Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened.

i really don't understand what a little groundhog has to do with predicting the weather. i'm feeling a little tired right now, so i did a quick google search and i found this...which was a bit ridiculous.

so after reading the "statement" made by phil himself, i'm still a little confused. so we have a talking groundhog who said "happy groundhog day" to all those watching. then he continues to speak in groundhogese using words like "prognosticate." wow. and all those years growing up, i had no idea.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

on my mind...

these are just some random thoughts that are on my mind right now...

*God is continuing to show me great things. it's more of a providing me his grace and faithfulness kind of thing, but i don't really have specifics.

*i'm thankful for my friends...near and far. those i get to see on a regular basis and those i get to see on a not so regular basis. i'm thankful for their emails, phone calls, voice messages, IMs...etc. it makes my heart so happy to know that i am deeply loved and that they think about me and pray for me. it's nice to know that i am genuinely loved.

*i'm really in the mood for a grande white chocolate mocha. i wish there was a "real" starbucks here and not just the one in barnes & noble (i mean, that one is better than nothing...but it's not the same...i want the whole starbucks/coffee house experience).

*the trailer for the new movie hitch looks absolutely stinkin' hillarious! i have no real desire to see this movie, but i just can't stop laughing at the trailer. the part where will smith's face is all swollen...and the part where kevin james is dancing all dumblike crack me up. i might have to go see it just for kicks.

*apparently i keep losing a LOT of clothes. i can't begin to name all the items of clothing i'm missing. at first i wasn't worried because i thought they were in storage, but now that my stuff is out of storage, i'm starting to wonder where they really are. if you have some of my clothes, i want them back...especially my black lounge pants!

*i have a friend who just got a job at the company i used to work for. i have no idea why. i was talking to him tonight and i realized that i don't miss that place at all. hmm, never would have seen that coming.

*i want to be friends with katie holmes. it's my new life mission. she has to be the coolest actress on the face of the earth.

*is everyone i know seriously getting married? add 3 to the getting married this year list. i've lost count. the number has to be in the millions.

*i really really want to go to a hockey game. how cool would that be? i've never been to one, but have always wanted to. i think it would be awesome.

*i miss school. i know the whole last year i was in college, all i did was complain about how much i wanted out. i guess the old saying holds true, "you don't know what you've got til it's gone." it's not only the idea of having friends available all the time, or the late nights, or the hanging out at the donut shop...but i really do miss the actual going to class part. how big of a nerd am i? i know it's random. but it's what was on my mind.