Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Speech

A couple weekends ago, I had the privilege of being a part of one of my best friends weddings.  One of the duties of being maid of honor is to prepare a speech to the bride and groom.  Honestly, I was told that I wasn't going to have to speak at the rehearsal dinner, I was a tad disappointed.  Not that I'm an amazing speaker, but because there was a lot that I wanted to say to this incredibly special couple.  Come to find out, I did have to deliver a quick speech at the rehearsal dinner afterall.  Luckily, neither I, nor the best man was aware, so neither of us had anything prepared.  So, after he delievered a quick speech, I followed in suit.  What I said, was a very watered down version of this.  If I'd had time to prepare, I would have said something along these lines. 

I met Robyn in 2002 while working summer camp. God knew what he was doing when we got paired together as prayer partners and through that experience became very good friends. That summer, we shared some pretty big stuff with each other, but nothing brought us closer together than her upcoming trip to China. Over the next year, we emailed, chatted online, and prayed for each other and through those experiences, our friendship grew.

Our love of movies, music, and all things pop culture only brought us closer together.
Somehow while Robyn was in Washington State for seminary, I planted an idea that we needed to move to Nashville. It worked. While Nashville didn't seem to suit Robyn the way I had hoped it would, we had a great time living together.

She's always been there for me. Whether it was just hanging out, going with me to watch bands in Nashville, or being a shoulder to cry on when my father passed away.
After Robyn and Chris got engaged, I came to Little Rock to visit and to meet the man of her dreams. When she asked me what I thought, my words of wisdom were "If the biggest struggle in your marriage is that he's a neat freak and you're messy, then I think you'll be doing good." Of course I was kidding...kind of. But in all seriousness, I've never seen Robyn get so excited about a boy. From the moment I first heard mention of Chris, she would get so excited when she talked about him.  I'll admit, at first, I was a little leary about the whole thing. But once I met Chris and spent time with the two of them together, I knew that they were perfect for each other.  And I wouldn't say that about just anyone. 

Robyn and Chris, I'm excited that you have found new lifelong friends in each other. I pray that God continues to bless your friendship through prayer. Just as he did with mine and Robyn's friendship so many years ago.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Cold Hearted Snake

In college, a guy that I dated for a brief couple months told me that I was "cold hearted and closed off and unmotional." They may not have been that exact order, but those were the words. At the time, I remember thinking that he was absolutely ludacris because he was one of the most emotional guys I'd ever met in my life. Mostly because as he told me that, he was holding back tears, but also because that was the second time in a short time that I'd seen him cry.  But truthfully, as much as me and my friends made jokes about it, we all knew it was true.

I've never been much of a crier. I think logically and rationally. I follow through on committments. I'm loyal. I've never been emotional.  And I don't think these are things that will ever change.  I think I've always been that way.  As a child, I was always prepared.  I had a fire evacuation plan.  I forced my mom and dad practice with me.  I watched Rescue 911 which taught me to have my plan for what I would do if someone broke in my house.  No one taught me to behave this way, it's just how I've always been. 

My team at work recently took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a fun exercise to learn more about each other. I've taken this before, and my results couldn't be more accurate. Personality tests always intrigue me.  Mostly because they always peg me for exactly who I am.  I love them. 

Apparently, I'm a very strong ESTJ which means that I had very high scores for each of the four dichotomies.

I believe this pretty much sums me up:

The Guardian

As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.

When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.

Although ESTJs typically put their family above their friends, they do enjoy and value their friendships. They enjoy having fun and spending time with others, especially those who share their interests and pursuits. They are likely to choose to spend free time with friends pursuing some activity or hobby - probably athletic or sports-oriented. They're likely to socialize quite a bit with their own family members, and with people who belong to the same organization or institution as the ESTJ.

ESTJs are usually status-conscious, and will respect others who they feel have acheived a high degree of success in our society. Although ESTJs have very high standards for behavior, and believe that they know what is appropriate and best in any given situation, they're likely to be less controlling with those who they feel are powerful individuals.

ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. Conversely, those who live entirely in the current moment (Sensing Perceivers) may not appreciate the ESTJ's strong judgments, which may seem overly traditional to them. ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.

ESTJs tend to be enthusiastic, sharp, and witty. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well. They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits.

The ESTJ is generally very opinionated, and likes to appear authoritative and in charge. They may temper this tendency when around other ESTJs whom they value. Around other types, this tendency may cause them to be abrupt and direct, to the point where they inadvertantly step on people's toes.

(Taken from