Happy 5 Year Anniversary to Me!

(Photo by Sutton Spence)

At what point can you call the place you live “home” and actually mean it?

Nashville does feel like my home and it has since the first day I moved here. I knew that I wanted to live in Nashville since the spring of 2002. I was visiting Nashville for a weekend training for a job. It was a weekend filled with fun, lots of learning, new friends, meeting a guy I’d eventually date, and falling in love. That weekend, I was giddy as I walked against the crisp, cool air as the notes of unfamiliar country hits crept into the streets from the nearest honky tonk bars. The plastic Elvises all around the city seemed incredibly appropriate. I thought the city was absolutely majestic.

The boy and I walked down to Riverfront Park telling stories the whole way. I listened and watched in amazement as the city came to life before my very eyes.

We walked to the other side of the Cumberland River and sat on some huge rocks and just stared at the skyline for what seemed like forever. And I fell in love. Not with the boy. But with the city I knew would one day be my home.

And thinking back, I think that’s the moment I really knew that I wanted to live here. I knew that I wanted to come back…if even for a brief period of time.

And today, I celebrate my 5th anniversary. Not with that boy, but with Nashville. And I couldn’t be more excited.

Season of Change

I like to think that I welcome change with open arms. But if I’m truly honest with myself, I may be putting on a front. Most of the time, I tend to be very consistent in almost everything I do. Not to say that I don’t like to try new stuff, I definitely do. But a lot of times, I stick within the safety of what I know.

There was a Barnes and Noble located around the corner to where our previous office was. I’d only worked there for a short time before it became my morning sanctuary. They quickly learned that I always ordered a grande caramel macchiato and that I rarely, if ever, ordered anything else. Over the (almost) five years I worked at that area, it seemed there were a million employees that worked in the café. Most of them knew me and knew what I wanted without even asking. There were a few employees in particular that made my day when they worked (One may or may not have been a huge crush). But It made me feel special. It wasn’t just about ordering a macchiato. They knew me.

Last week, our organization moved about 10 miles up the road. It’s a much nicer building and everything is customized for us. It’s supposed to represent what we do, what we believe, and who we are. It’s a very attractive space, highly innovative, and very modern. But there’s just something about it that’s not incredibly appealing to me. It may be that my wonderful little office has been stripped from me and I’ve been forced back into cubicle life. Or, there may just be something deeply sentimental about our previous location. I started working there a month after I moved to Nashville. And nothing in my life has really been consistent (especially with work) since I first moved. I’ve changed positions, I’ve changed bosses, and I’ve changed cubicles and offices, all numerous times. But that building always remained the same. Now, the stability that I once knew has been removed, and once again, change has taken the forefront.

I’m sure after a little while this will start to feel like home. And I’m sure it won’t be long before I can find a place to get good coffee with kind people who remember who I am and what I like. And if I put on my happy face and try really hard, they might even want to be friends. And I know it won’t be too long before the seasons start to change again. And until that time, I’m going to cling to the small consistencies in my life. Because apparently, as it turns out, I’m not a huge fan of change.

The Great International City Swap

My friend, Laura, over at Just Put on a Little Lipstick is hosting this year's International City Swap.  I told her that I'd help her out with some of the organization with it.  It's an incredibly cool idea that her blog friend Shelly started.  So, keeping with tradition, here's what you do. 

What is the International City Swap?

What we do is we swap cities/towns. You put together a package that you think best represents the place where you live, and what you love about it. Or, if you think where you live is ridiculous, you can put in the silliest things you can find. It’s up to your own creativity.

In the past there have been some really lovely packages circulating: from Detroit to Alaska, NYC to Rome, Jordan, NY to Turin, Italy, San Jose, CA to Australia, and Atlanta, Georgia to Rome and many going state to state here in the USA. You do not have to have a blog to participate, just an email address and the willingness to put together and mail a package.

HERE ARE THE DETAILS:

What: Swap some thing(s) that, in your opinion, best represent the place where you live, and what you think makes it unique. It can be anything from handmade to store-bought, mugs to magnets, framed photos to local food items and handicrafts to postcards and local candy…just use your creativity!

How: To join the swap, leave a comment on this post with your information, OR email  InternationalCitySwap@gmail.com . Please indicate if you do not wish to send internationally.

When: The deadline to join in the swap is Sunday, October 10th. The list of swap buddies will be posted on Sunday, October 17th. Then you can get in touch with the person you’ll be sending to, to see if they have any special likes/dislikes, etc. and perhaps personalize their package a bit. You’ll have two weeks to put your package together: the packages will need to go out by Monday, November 1st.

Cost: With international currencies at different values, I’d feel better not constraining people to a set range. Use your own judgement regarding how much to spend, but I’d say a minimum of $15 is probably a good idea, just so that no one gets short-changed.

If you’d like to add a participant button to your blog sidebar, you can grab this one, and link it back to Laura's post:




Image by FlamingText.com

The Speech

A couple weekends ago, I had the privilege of being a part of one of my best friends weddings.  One of the duties of being maid of honor is to prepare a speech to the bride and groom.  Honestly, I was told that I wasn't going to have to speak at the rehearsal dinner, I was a tad disappointed.  Not that I'm an amazing speaker, but because there was a lot that I wanted to say to this incredibly special couple.  Come to find out, I did have to deliver a quick speech at the rehearsal dinner afterall.  Luckily, neither I, nor the best man was aware, so neither of us had anything prepared.  So, after he delievered a quick speech, I followed in suit.  What I said, was a very watered down version of this.  If I'd had time to prepare, I would have said something along these lines. 

I met Robyn in 2002 while working summer camp. God knew what he was doing when we got paired together as prayer partners and through that experience became very good friends. That summer, we shared some pretty big stuff with each other, but nothing brought us closer together than her upcoming trip to China. Over the next year, we emailed, chatted online, and prayed for each other and through those experiences, our friendship grew.

Our love of movies, music, and all things pop culture only brought us closer together.

Somehow while Robyn was in Washington State for seminary, I planted an idea that we needed to move to Nashville. It worked. While Nashville didn't seem to suit Robyn the way I had hoped it would, we had a great time living together.

She's always been there for me. Whether it was just hanging out, going with me to watch bands in Nashville, or being a shoulder to cry on when my father passed away.

After Robyn and Chris got engaged, I came to Little Rock to visit and to meet the man of her dreams. When she asked me what I thought, my words of wisdom were "If the biggest struggle in your marriage is that he's a neat freak and you're messy, then I think you'll be doing good." Of course I was kidding...kind of. But in all seriousness, I've never seen Robyn get so excited about a boy. From the moment I first heard mention of Chris, she would get so excited when she talked about him.  I'll admit, at first, I was a little leary about the whole thing. But once I met Chris and spent time with the two of them together, I knew that they were perfect for each other.  And I wouldn't say that about just anyone. 

Robyn and Chris, I'm excited that you have found new lifelong friends in each other. I pray that God continues to bless your friendship through prayer. Just as he did with mine and Robyn's friendship so many years ago.

Cold Hearted Snake

In college, a guy that I dated for a brief couple months told me that I was "cold hearted and closed off and unmotional." They may not have been that exact order, but those were the words. At the time, I remember thinking that he was absolutely ludacris because he was one of the most emotional guys I'd ever met in my life. Mostly because as he told me that, he was holding back tears, but also because that was the second time in a short time that I'd seen him cry.  But truthfully, as much as me and my friends made jokes about it, we all knew it was true.

I've never been much of a crier. I think logically and rationally. I follow through on committments. I'm loyal. I've never been emotional.  And I don't think these are things that will ever change.  I think I've always been that way.  As a child, I was always prepared.  I had a fire evacuation plan.  I forced my mom and dad practice with me.  I watched Rescue 911 which taught me to have my plan for what I would do if someone broke in my house.  No one taught me to behave this way, it's just how I've always been. 

My team at work recently took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a fun exercise to learn more about each other. I've taken this before, and my results couldn't be more accurate. Personality tests always intrigue me.  Mostly because they always peg me for exactly who I am.  I love them. 

Apparently, I'm a very strong ESTJ which means that I had very high scores for each of the four dichotomies.

I believe this pretty much sums me up:

The Guardian

As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.

When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.

Although ESTJs typically put their family above their friends, they do enjoy and value their friendships. They enjoy having fun and spending time with others, especially those who share their interests and pursuits. They are likely to choose to spend free time with friends pursuing some activity or hobby - probably athletic or sports-oriented. They're likely to socialize quite a bit with their own family members, and with people who belong to the same organization or institution as the ESTJ.


ESTJs are usually status-conscious, and will respect others who they feel have acheived a high degree of success in our society. Although ESTJs have very high standards for behavior, and believe that they know what is appropriate and best in any given situation, they're likely to be less controlling with those who they feel are powerful individuals.

ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. Conversely, those who live entirely in the current moment (Sensing Perceivers) may not appreciate the ESTJ's strong judgments, which may seem overly traditional to them. ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.

ESTJs tend to be enthusiastic, sharp, and witty. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well. They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits.

The ESTJ is generally very opinionated, and likes to appear authoritative and in charge. They may temper this tendency when around other ESTJs whom they value. Around other types, this tendency may cause them to be abrupt and direct, to the point where they inadvertantly step on people's toes.


(Taken from http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESTJ.html)

Light at the end of the tunnel

There's finally a little light at the end of this tunnel. It's not bright, but it's there. And it gives me a glimmer of hope. It may be a small glimmer...but I'll take it.

Stay tuned.

The All Purpose Toy

In order to promote their breakfast muffin sandwich and their new breakfast dollar menu, Burger King has a new commercial that just brought back images of one of my most traumatic childhood memories.

In this commercial, there are two guys standing in a desert looking area. The guy who just made a smart decision by buying his breakfast muffin off the new dollar menu is squished inside a large tire. The other guy stands behind him verifying how smart he is and that due to saving money, he can now afford to make dumb decisions. Then without warning, he gives the tire the ol' heave ho and rolls his friend down the hill. I looked for the video on you tube, but unfortunatley I couldn't find it.

When I was about six years old, my cousins inherited an inner tube from a large tractor tire. I'm not quite sure how they came into such an amazing inheritance, but it was a favorite play thing for quite some time. This was such a multipurpose toy and with the imaginations of two 6 year olds and an 10 year old, there was always some new way to play with it.

My personal favorite was to use the inner tube as a trampoline. It was especially fun if someone was across from you to bounce you up even higher. But, my cousins, being the boys they were, quickly grew tired of using it as a trampoline. So, they began to find new uses for it. We played human bowling where you would roll it at the kids trying to run from it (on second hand, maybe it was a little more like inner tube dodgeball). We took it to the lake and swam with it. We used it like a basketball hoop. We laid around on it and used it like a lawn chair. For that entire summer, I coveted that inner tube. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

Until one day.

We were rolling it around the front yard of their house when they convinced me to get inside. it may have had something to do with the fact I was the only one small enough to actually fit in it. Or, it may have been that I was the only one they could convince to do it. I was a fairly shy child, but I could be talked into anything by the right people. Those cousins were the right people. I remember climbing inside. I was terrified. But very gently and very slowly, they rolled me around the front yard. It was kind of fun. I climbed out and we continued to roll the inner tube around the house and into the backyard. Again, they convinced me to climb in so they could roll me down the hill. Now, this hill was probably the length of at least two houses. It was one of those hills that all the neighborhood kids came out to sled on when it snowed.

And my cousins wanted to roll me down it. In an inner tube.

My older cousin told me that he'd go down to the bottom of the hill and be there to catch me. He was always standing up for me and very over protective and always watching out for me being the only girl. I'm sure I told them that I didn't want to do it. And I'm sure there was some name calling involved. And I'm sure I got my feelings hurt.

But, I did what any seven year old girl who trusted her cousins with her life would do. I let them roll me down a hill in a huge black inner tube.

Now, the memory gets a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty certain the moment the tire left my cousin's hands the tears started to flow. I do remember wanting to jump out, but I was afraid I would get hurt. So I stayed put inside the tire. I let it roll me for what seemed like forever. And then, I crashed. Not into my cousins arms as promised, but into a huge wooden fence post. And it hurt. And I cried. And my cousins took off running. I'm pretty sure that was about the same time my mom came running out the back door.

I learned that day that it was okay to say no to things I didn't want to do. It's definitely a lesson I've had to teach myself over and over these last 23 years. Occasionally, it's something I still have a hard time with. Especially having a hard time disappointing others. But I've come a long way since that day I volunteered to get rolled down a hill in a huge inner tube.

And just as a side note, I could probably pin point this story as having something to do with some of my trust issues. :)

White Water Adventure

This weekend, I took a much needed break from studying and went white water rafting with the youth. I was pretty excited about this trip. Mostly because the last time I went white water rafting I was their age. It was the summer after I graduated high school.

Everyone had a great time. And we brought everyone back safely.

Here’s some pictures of our white water adventure.

Candle Holders For a Cause

My college friends Jenny and Stuart are begining to raise money for thier adoption process. They already have 18 month old twins (who are stinkin' adorable!) and are planning on expanding their family by adopting from Ethiopia.

In order to raise money, they'll be selling candle holders that are perfect for tealights or votives. Head on over to their blog and help support an amazing family! You can place orders through their blog, or you can email jennyborders@gmail.com for more info.

Authenticity

Last week we had a youth event for local missions. My church has had a very strong presence in the flood clean up over the last couple months. And there is still plenty of work to be done. This was a three day event where they helped with flood relief during the day, hung out during the afternoons, and had worship at night, followed by more time to hang out and get to know each other.

Due to having a 8-5 (or 9-6, depending on the day) job, I was unable to be around for the full event. Though I would have much rather been installing dry wall with those kids than what I was really doing. I was able to stop by the church Wednesday night to help serve dinner and be there for worship and to hang out for a bit. I was asked if I could help lead the discussion for our campus after worship. Little did I know what that meant.

At the end of worship, these 25 middle and high school kids gather around the steps of the stage to discuss confession and sin. And that's when the conversation turned incredibly real. I wasn't expecting the the things we discussed to surface, but it was the most real, raw, authentic conversation I've heard in a long time. One by one, they opened up their hearts and shared with other people, what was really going on. What they were really struggling with. What they were really afraid of.

And one by one, I saw these kids breathe a little easier. I could physically see that their load was lighter. So why is confession something that doesn't seem to get much attention. Why do we try to fix things ourselves? Why are we so afraid to be completely authentic?

After thinking about it for a few days, I really think that it's fear.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of not being loved.

Fear of failure.

We should be able to come together with other believers and be truly authentic. And I'm so proud of that group of students for opening up and letting others see into the deepest, grittiest part of their unexposed hearts.

Chicago...In Pictures

Cloud Gate Against the City


The reflection of the city in Cloud Gate

Me at Buckingham Fountain

I loved seeing the reflections of all
the buildings on the river

View from the womens bathroom on the

96th floor of the John Hancock Center

View from the Signature Lounge on the 96th

Floor of the John Hancock Center

John Hancock Center

Chicago, Here I Come!

I was at lunch last week with a co-worker, telling her that I had $130 toward a flight that was about to expire and that the opportunity to use it hadn’t presented itself. I had originally planned on using it for my trip to San Antonio in August, but when I tried to apply it toward that ticket, it told me that it was going to expire July 8. At that point, I only had three weeks to find a use for it. I had asked a few friends if they’d be interested in going to Chicago (or anywhere, but Chicago was the cheapest option) over a weekend, but none of them could work it out with their schedules or finances. So at that point, it seemed like I’d be traveling alone, or it would just expire and go to waste.

Until that moment, sitting in a barbeque joint across from my co-worker, hearing her say, “I’m not doing anything fourth of July weekend… I could go with you.”

Thirty minutes later, plane tickets had been purchased and we will be on our way to Chicago in just days!

What's the one thing I have to do while I'm there?!

My Mom Is Cooler Than Your Mom!

As I've mentioned before, I've been in a funk. It's not been pretty.

This weekend I went and hung out with my mom. It was one of those trips where I felt like I needed to remember who I was. Where I came from. Why I am who I am. Where my roots are. Where I belong. That I’m loved.

I needed to be reminded that life isn’t quite as difficult as I’ve been making it out to be.

And who better to do that than my mom! My mom and I have a very good relationship. It’s not always been that way, but for the last six or seven years, she’s been one of my closest friends. I know there are a lot of people who can’t call their mom a friend. And for that, I will count my blessings. I definitely went through the bratty teenager period where my mom embarrassed me and left me mortified beyond belief just by volunteering to go on a school field trip. But those years are long behind us. I now realize that I should have thought it was cool that all my friends loved my mom growing up and everyone always wanted to ride with her instead of other moms. But at the time, I thought it was ridiculous…because mom’s aren’t cool.

So, I went to visit the one person who knows me better than anyone.

Saturday morning we went to pick up some coffee to start off our day. Does she know me, or what? She had planned for us to get shoulder massages at her salon. Seriously, what better way is there to start your day other than coffee and massages?

From there, we went shopping. Then, we moved on to a short road trip north to hit the casino. I think it’s the first time I’ve actually lost money, but it was still super fun (I should have known considering I haven’t been having the greatest luck lately). Luckily, mom came out ahead. We headed back home to have dinner with my youngest brother.

Then, we headed to a concert in the park for The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad. Now, I am very aware that most people my age do not know who either of these bands are. But, I grew up listening to the oldies. We’d put on old records and dance around the living room. We’d put on old records and clean the house. We’d put on old records and cook dinner (I think you get the point). So, attending this concert in the park was something that just seemed natural. I may have been one of ten people under the age of 40, but still. My mom had a good time…and so did I.

I had a great time just hanging out, talking, laughing, and being around my mom. When I left, my heart felt lighter, I had more freckles, I owned some new clothes, I had less stress, and I had a cute pedicure.

29

When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities in the whole world was playing house. Part of the appeal was pretending to be whoever you wanted to be. You could create your name, age, occupation, how many kids you had, who you were married to. Most often my name was Stephanie, I was married to Joey McIntyre, and had two kids (my two favorite Cabbage Patch Kids - Edrick and Angela). I can’t tell you how often this scenario was replayed, but I’m sure it was more than you care to know. I was a grown up, doing grown up things. Driving, grocery shopping, using a credit card, writing checks, wearing high heels. I loved every minute of it.

Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name was never changed, I still go by Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a way of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account you don’t have much money in has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.

All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.

Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.

Happy 29th Year

When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities in the whole world was playing house. Part of the appeal was pretending to be whoever you wanted to be. You could create your name, age, occupation, how many kids you had, who you were married to. Most often my name was Stephanie, I was married to Joey McIntyre, and had two kids (my two favorite Cabbage Patch Kids - Edrick and Angela). I can’t tell you how often this scenario was replayed, but I’m sure it was more than you care to know. In that world, I was a grown up, doing grown up things. Driving, grocery shopping, using a credit card, writing checks, wearing high heels. I loved every minute of it.

Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name is still Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a means of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?!?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that the free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account that doesn't contain much money and spending the next few days wondering how much money you don't have has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.

All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. Yes, I have amazing family and friends in my life. Yes, I own a home. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.

So this year, I want to stop living in the future and focus on embracing the moments that are thrown my way.

Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.

View From the Top

I’ve had a rough couple months. And when I say “rough” I mean the “crawl into bed and never get out” kind of rough.

I’m by no means the kind of girl that everything falls into my lap. But it seems as of late, it seems like every turn I take I’m getting punched in the face, or the gut, or any other place that it would hurt to get punched. I believe most of us refer to these times as valleys.

Valley: In geology, a valley is a depression with predominant extent in one direction.

Depressing, huh?

And as depressing as it is, I feel like it’s where I’ve been the last couple months and it couldn’t be more descriptive.

I’ve been stressed out and stretched physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m exhausted.

So I ask you this. When you find yourself in the valley with the steep walls and narrow bottoms trying to take over your every breath, where is it that you turn? I know the Sunday school answers. But honestly, where is it that you turn? As easy as the question should be to answer, if I’m 100% honest with myself, my answer is not the same answer I would have provided as a vacation bible school as a 10 year old. Sadly, my answer would include friends, family, tv, movies, eating, working, pretty much anything to occupy my time. Anything that I could use to avoid facing the truth.

I’ve heard the expression “You must go through the valleys before you can stand on the mountain.” It just seems I’ve found myself halfway across the world on a pretty ridiculous hike when I was only planning on going outside to check the mail in my flip flops. But I’m really ready to see that view from the top.

Surgery Smurgery

Surgery over. It sucked. As prepared as I was for it, surgery pretty much kicked my butt. I knew that an adult tonsillectomy would take more time to heal from. I knew the recovery process wouldn’t be pleasant. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to eat. I knew it would be incredibly painful. But somewhere along the way, I thought I was above it. I thought I was Superwoman. I thought I’d bounce right back to being myself.

Lesson learned the hard way.

Recovery was not. As a matter of fact, the first four and a half days I could only drink water or eat ice chips. After my first few failed attempts, I wasn’t even interested in trying to keep anything down. I slept for 23 hours a day. Finally, on day five, I was successful in eating a very small bowl of cream of wheat. On day five, I also left my bed for longer than 30 minutes. SUCCESS was mine.

In all honesty, the pain wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but the fatigue has been almost unbearable. I can’t stay up without napping several times a day. I shower, walk around, leave the house, or do practically anything without being completely exhausted by the time I’m done.

It’s not something I EVER want to do again…and it’s not something I would wish on anyone.

My mom is gone. Honestly, I wish she was staying for a few more days, but I think two weeks was really all she could handle of my whining whispers, pathetic eyes, and basins full of my “failed attempts” at eating.

Enough With the Googling

My tonsillectomy has been scheduled since the beginning of February. But it's just now starting to become real.

It's been two months of me casually mentioning in conversation that I'm having surgery, but until today, it didn't really seem real. I'm not sure why it hit me today, but I think that I realized that there's only a little over two weeks left on the calendar to actually get everything done.

I found one very helpful website with lots of valuable information. But I had to quit googling after I came across a video that I could only watch the first 15 seconds of. Then, I decided no more googling. I will allow myself to visit the one website and that's it. If I have any other questions, I have to rely on the doctor.

I'm sure there will be more on this soon.

At Least I Smell Good

Last week, I was in Target after a long day at work. I was wearing a pair of cute new shoes. I just needed a few things, so I was just planning on a quick trip in and out. I walked into the soap aisle right as someone else was walking out the other side. I walked toward the body wash I wanted and right as I went to grab it, a bottle fell off the top shelf, busted, and splattered everywhere.

Everywhere.

All over the floor. All over my pants. All over my new shoes.

It all happened so fast, I wasn't even entirely sure what happened.

About that time, a Target employee walked by the end of the row with another guest. I tried to get her attention without trying to slip on the mess, but was unsuccessful. Another employee walked around the corner about the same time. I'm sure she saw the distress in my eyes. She told me she'd be right back. I stood in the aisle by myself, holding a hand basket with nothing in it, with a full bottle of spilled body wash covering me from the waist down, and surrounding me in large puddles. I'm sure I looked like a real mess to those walking by. She appeared again a moment later with a large roll of paper towels. She handed me a bunch. I started wiping at my pants and shoes and she started cleaning up the floor. I thanked her for her help, grabbed the body wash I wanted and high tailed it to the counter to get out of there.

Oh, the things that happen to me.

Seriously.

You can't tell me that these aren't cute...

Seriously.

Adorable.

DWTS Recap 3.29

Tonight, I'm back...blogging live for Dancing With The Stars.

First up tonight, Shannen and Mark. I really want them to do well. I really love the jive. I think that Shannen is about to show the judges that she really wants it. I'm guessing there will be improvement. And they're off. She actually looks like she's having a great time. They looked good. I think she definitely improved.

Aiden and Edyta. I'm already ready for them to go home and they haven't danced yet. Edyta is acting like a baby during these rehearsals. And they're off for the fox trot. Edyta is wearing a lot more clothing this week, so that's a plus. Aiden looks incredibly uncomfortable. It actually seems like he's keeping up with her though. He danced fine, but not great. Oh, apparently Edyta tried to beat him up with her elbows during the dance. I didn't really notice. Overall, decent. Maybe he won't be the first kicked off afterall.

Evan and Anna. I'm excited they're doing the jive. I really like his Danny Zucco outfit. They look pretty strong. He looks very long and lanky, but clean. LOVED LOVED LOVED it. This is exactly what I was expecting all along from them. I'm guessing they'll only continue to get better. The judges seem to agree. I love that Bruno mentioned Grease Lightning! Exactly what I was thinking. Brooke Burke made a very Samanatha Harris joke when she was trying to make a joke about cheesecake. They all just stared at her with no comment.

Nicey and Louis. She CRACKS me up. Not a huge fan of her outfit, but she actually looks very elegant. I loved the lip syncing at the end by Nicey. It definitely showed a little character. I just wasn't expecting her to be able to pull off the gracefulness. She did an amazing job! I can't wait to see what Louis has in store for their dances in the next couple weeks.

Jake and Chelsie. Love the song. Don't love him. He seems like he's improved, but he's not great. He's dancing like he really wants it and he looks like he's having fun, but it's not great dancing. The judges seem to like him though. Brooke keeps asking about relationships like she's expecting a couple to tell her they're hooking up. The judges didn't score them as high as I thought they would, so I guess we'll see.

Buzz and Ashly. I love him. I wish he was an amazing dancer so he could stick around somewhere. He's just so adorable. How many astronaut shirts does he have? I think up to this point I've counted at least four. I love that he had her draw a map of the steps. How funny is that? I still think he reminds me of a grandfather at the wedding. I will say this...he's really trying. I mean, really, really trying. Can we just keep him around for entertainment? :) I love that the judges aren't mean to him. I mean, how could you be? He seems a little disappointed in his score. But he's just so darn cute! He gets a 10 in my heart!

Nichole and Derek. I think she started out a little weak, but she definitely brought it. I'm a fan. I do find it a little funny that she was concerned about Len not liking it and she was right. I think Carrie Ann and Bruno's excitement make up for it though! Oh, yay! Two 10s. And the first of the season.

Erin and Maks. I love that Erin is feisty with Maks. It's funny. Maks got a haircut...no fauxhawk tonight. She looks very elegant and it doesn't look forced. I thought she would look a little more awkward in the traditional ballroom dances, but she did a good job. I still think they're hooking up. Len definitely put her in her place.

Pamela and Damian. She was definitely channeling Marilyn. I hate that she's better than I was expecting. With her Marilyn getup. I barely noticed it was her. But I think that's probably the point. "I think everyone's seen all the sides of Pamela" may be the best quote of the night.

Chad and Cheryl. Oh...maybe they're hooking up. They're so cute! I wasn't expecting to like him very much, but I do. He's so adorable. His dancing is not good though. His posture is really bad. They need to use that connection that him and Cheryl have to their advantage. Aww...they seem so sad in the interview backstage.

Kate and Tony. Kate is being a whiny baby. Wow. Even Tony doesn't like her. What's with this "To be continued" crap? Oh. Wow. She's awful. I'm pretty sure she forgot that she was supposed to be dancing. She was kind of just standing there with her feet flailing about. That was pretty bad. She may be going home.

Tonight's favorites:
Evan and Anna
Nicole and Derek
Erin and Maks

Least favorite:
Jake and Chelsie
Kate and Tony
Buzz and Ashly

Who knows what will happen. I guess we'll see tomorrow night.

Dancing With the Stars Recap!

I’ve been super excited about this season since it was announced. Mostly because the only one I didn’t know of was the soap star. I think part of the reason I love it so much, is that it takes the has beens and makes them hot again. Or at least for a minute or two. I was also interested in seeing Brooke Burke’s interview skills.

Before watching the show, my top picks were Evan Lysacek, Nicole Scherzinger, and Erin Andrews (but that is mainly so Maks doesn’t have an early exit). Evan clearly already has the ability to produce clean, straight lines with his skating…and Nicole already has dancing ability.

First off, I was a little confused about the new “greenroom.” That’s fine that you want to switch it up, but the new celebriquarium seemed to produce a more uptight group of contestants. I was a bigger fan when they could just chill on the couch…but I digress.

First off, Chad Ochocinco. He was actually better than I expected him to be. Who knew the dude was so skinny. I think he’ll be fairly entertaining to watch if he can stick around long enough (and I’m assuming he will). And I love that he’s dancing with Cheryl. Love her…hated her outfit.

Next up…Shannen Doherty. Of course, I kept thinking of ol’ Jim Walsh when she was talking about doing the show for her dad. She’s dancing with Mark, which will be her saving grace. She didn’t seem that great, but decent. Of course, I’m not usually a fan of the waltzes.

Erin and Maks. I was hoping for big things for them. Based on their interview pre-dance, did anyone else think they may be hooking up? Just give it time, it’ll happen. I thought she did a really good job, especially for the first week.

Jake the Bachelor, I will not accept your rose. Chelsie hasn’t been around long, but I really think she’s adorable and I’m a little annoyed she didn’t get a better partner. And by better, I mean…someone I actually care about. He actually did better than expected, but I could barely pay attention because of that horrible song pick. Yeah, yeah, I get it. You hand out roses. That’s what you do. But Kiss From a Rose is my absolute LEAST favorite song in the world. GAG.

Nicey Nash up next. She is hilarious, so I was expecting her to bring that with her. And she didn’t disappoint. I love that she told Louis that she didn’t want to lose any of her jiggly parts. Haha. She danced better than I was expecting. She definitely brought her personality to the dance floor. And what’s even better, she dedicated her dance to me. Or, ehh…to thick girls everywhere. I have a feeling she’ll stick around for a while.

Evan and Anna. I was actually expecting Evan to blow the other competition out of the water. It was somewhat disappointing. He looked a little awkward, but overall, I thought he did a good job. If he can master those turns, maybe he’ll be able to pull it off afterall.

Buzz. Where do I even start. He was absolutely adorable. But he can’t dance. He reminded me of someone’s grandpa having a good time with a bridesmaid at his granddaughter’s wedding. Cute. I mean, he is 80 years old. And to give him credit, he’s better than Cloris was. And of course, he gets props for trying to moonwalk.

Nicole and Derek. SOLID…just as expected. I hated that she had Kleenex strapped to her arms, but her dance alone made up for that. What was that I said about the waltzes? I changed my mind. I loved this one.

I’m only referring to Aiden from here on out as the soap guy. I loved how he said something about how everyone knows him from All My Children. Nope, sure don’t. Dancing with Edyta didn’t seem to help him any either. Looks like he may be the first to go. What in the world was Edyta wearing? Side note: I love that Edyta always wears legwarmers in rehersal. It’s like she’s hanging on to the 80s for dear life. And of course that makes my heart happy!

Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani. Just out of curiosity, who is watching all those kids? I wasn’t expecting much from her at all. I also wasn’t expecting that boob job. Clearly, she’s got lots of insecurities. I’m assuming that’s the side of her we’ll see throughout the show. Not a fan. Side Note: I still think Tony’s best pairing was with Sara Evans.

And last, but certainly not least. CJ. I mean, Pam Anderson. I don’t think I ever really noticed that Pam’s waist is smaller than one of my thighs. Again, I wasn’t expecting much. I was thinking that she’d be on the Holly Madison level, but she proved that she may be able to hold her own. At least for a few more weeks.

A quick recap:
There were lots of rhinestones.
Brooke’s hosting skills are already better than Samantha’s ever were.
Len seemed to be incredibly grumpy last night.
Bruno was easily excitable.
Maks had Erin pinching Tom’s butt.
The celebriquarium was awkward. And I think Tom was required to say “celebriquarium” at least 12 times.

I think my friend Adam summed it up best by saying, “um...I think Dancing with the Stars substituted free boob jobs instead of spray tans this season. Just sayin'.”

This early, it’s hard to tell who’s got the skills to grab that mirrorball trophy. I’d definitely keep my top picks with Evan and Nicole. Clearly, Buzz should be the first to go, but the old person never gets voted off early. My guess is that soap guy will be the first to go.

I love Cousins!

I saw this on KSR's website and I LOVE it!

I'll say it again. I'm glad Kentucky has shown up for this tournament! GO CATS!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. The first day of March Madness.

Yes, I'm a little crazy.

My friends don't understand why I'd rather watch basketball than hang out with them.

There's just something about it that I absolutely love!

I'm not a crazy basketball fan, but I LOVE March Madness. The only team I really follow throughout the year is Kentucky. And let me tell you. It's been our year! With the oncoming of Calipari and the amazing recruiting class, we've definitely had our share of good fortune this year. Something I haven't seen in full force in over ten years!

So with all that to say, I'm super excited that when I filled out my bracket, I didn't even hesitate, or feel it was impossible when I wrote Kentucky into that final championship game.

Go CATS!

Who are you rooting for?

Who do you want to see in that championship game?

Who is your final pick?

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a VERY. BAD. DAY.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. As crazy as it sounds, I actually don't even realize it until I start getting extereme headaches that border on migraines and I can feel the stress in my neck. Yesterday was one of those days. It seemed like nothing was going right. I was hurting people's feelings (not on purpose!). There wasn't enough time in the day. It was just one thing after the next. All day long.

There were several things that almost led to tears.

I grabbed my computer bag out of the front seat of my car only to get my bad thumb caught in the strap. It hurt. BAD. I had tears in my eyes. I was afraid to pull back the band-aid and look. I'll spare you the details, but it's definitely going to add to the healing process.

I thought retail therapy would help. I finally went through my closet several weeks ago and got rid of EVERYTHING that gets on my nerves when I wear it. It actually wiped my closet clean. Now that winter is lingering, it doesn't seem like it was the brightest decision I've ever made, but that's a whole different story. I couldn't find anything I liked at the first three stores I went in. So, I decided to venture to the mall.

That's when real tragedy struck.

I was walking into the mall when my phone flew out of my hand and landed about a foot in front of me on the sidewalk. Not sure exactly what happened because it all happened fairly quickly. What I do know is that it didn't seem to hit the ground that hard, but when I picked it up, the glass was shattered. Not just a crack or two. More like 72.

I don't even want to admit all the relationship mishaps me and my iphone have been through. And I don't want to admit how many I've had in my possesion. But this isn't the first run-in I've had. If you're interested, you can read about the time my iphone jumed in the toilet here. Or how I couldn't live without it here, here, or here.

The point is, I know it's a "thing" and I shouldn't be as attached to it as I am. But the fact of the matter is, I am. I love it with every fiber of my being, but I do know that we cannot continue this relationship like this. It's just not healthy!

Conversations That Stick With You

Today I had the opportunity to have a conversation with a friend who lost his 18 year old brother just a few short weeks ago.

When I first found out, I wanted to do something, but I felt like I didn't have anything to offer. I've lost a family member. It's incredibly hard. And there's not much anyone can say to you that makes you feel better. To be completely honest, you don't really remember much of what anyone says during that time. I mean, you can say, "I'm sorry." but that's about all. In moments like that, nothing else really seems to matter.

I remember sitting down with this friend at a coffee shop several weeks after my dad died in 2006. I remember telling him this story from the funeral.

I was sitting next to my brothers with huge tears in my eyes and Kleenex stuffed in my hand. This horrible version of On Eagles Wings started playing. It had always been one of my dad's favorites. But this version was unbearable. It was like nails scraping against a chalkboard. My brothers and I started laughing...uncontrollably. I remember someone from the row behind us reaching up and putting their hand on my brother's back because they thought he was upset. We just sat there, laughing through tears. It felt so irreverant, but so appropriate all at the same time. My dad always hated when people who couldn't really sing would canter at church. I remember growing up, I always knew when a snide remark was coming based on the first few words of a song. And there we were at his own funeral listening to this awful rendition of one of his favorite songs. All we could do was laugh.

After I told my friend the story, he just looked at me through sips of his coffee, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, that's life. Sometimes it's pretty funny."

I have no idea why I remember that conversation, but it's one of the few from that time that I actually remember very vividly.

In the card I send him a few weeks back, I reminded my friend of that conversation and what he said to me and how it has stuck with me all these years. I told him that through the pain, I was praying that him and his family could remember the good times and remember to laugh...because sometimes, life is funny.

We talked today for a while about life and death and taking it all for granted. But through it all, I love that it was his own words that spoke to him more than anything else.

It's also funny that tonight, before I started this entry, I went back and read some of my posts from that time in my life (there aren't many because it was such a private time, I mostly used my journal). I found this excerpt from a prayer on the night my father died (To read the entire post, click here. ):

"Remind me to laugh at the little things.

Allow me to appreciate and savor the good times."

Looking back on it, it makes me so thankful that God answered that prayer. Today, I'm so thankful for love and laughter and those conversations that stick with you.

I LOVE the Olympics!

Last night, we had an Olympic party during the opening ceremonies. It was soooo much fun to kickoff the Olympics!


I'll admit that I'm actually a bigger fan of the Summer Olympics, but I'm not a huge winter fan in general, so it only makes sense. :)


I absolutely love figure skating. It's also super fun to watch speed skating...such a rush. I'm not so sure how I feel about the luge right now.

We love the Olympics!

GO USA!!

Team USA All The Way!

Me and DJ with our Olympic cookies

What's your favorite event?

What a Weekend...

So, I can't type much...and the reason for that will come soon enough.

This weekend I went to Gatlinburg with the youth. It was a very exhausting trip. We rolled back into town about 5 pm. Kickoff for the Super Bowl was at 5:30.

I was heading over to a friends house, fresh guacamole in tow. I was having some difficulty with the avacados because they weren't quite ripe enough. So I decided to take the "almost ready" guac anyway and just use her food processor when I got there.

I'd literally been there for five minutes. Okay, maybe seven. I grabbed a knife and cut the lime in half. I went to cut along the inside of the lime when something went really wrong. I'm not positive of exactly what happened, but I'll tell you this...Her knives are WAY sharper than mine. And I bled A LOT.

I spent all of halftime debating whether or not it was bad enough for stitches. We quickly realized there were no urgent care facilities open and I would have to go to the ER. Then I remembered that my last tetnus shot was probably when I was a sophomore in high school.

So, off to the ER we went...

Upon arriving, the doctor confirmed that I, in fact, need stitches. That was actually a relief that I'd made the right decision. An hour and ten minutes later, I was signing my release papers with three blue stitches in my thumb.

It doesn't really hurt, it's just kind of difficult to do anything.

I'm sure there will be more to tell as the days go on...

Hives Are For The Bees

Over the weekend, my sniffles and head congestion turned into a full blown upper respiratory infection. I fell asleep on the couch Sunday around 6pm while watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I woke up to some religious late night show around midnight and went to bed...and stayed in bed...until 9am...when I woke up and called into work. Then, I went back to bed. Until 2 pm. I woke up and called the doctor and was able to get in that afternoon. I was able to get some drugs and head back home for some Gilmore Girls on the couch.

Tuesday night, I went to scratch my neck and noticed there was a welt. I went to look at it in the mirror and realized there were several on my neck in different areas. I pulled the collar of my shirt down and it looked like I was sunburnt with tiny red spots all over my stomach, chest, and arms. I had hives AND a rash. I freaked out and got the little pamphlet thingy that came with my prescription. In uppercase letters and all it's glory, "AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THIS MEDICINE is unlikely, but seek immediate medical attention if it occurs. Symptoms of an allergic reaction include rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; or swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue."

On top of that, I thought it would be a great idea to google it.
NOT
A
GOOD
IDEA
It freaked me out. Then I was afraid to go to bed. I was afraid my throat was going to close up and I'd stop breathing in my sleep.

Needless to say, I made it throught the night and called the doctor first thing when I woke up. An hour later, after being stuck in a teeny tiny room with the most annoying ticking clock ever, it was official.

I'm allergic to penicillin.

UGH. Now I have to fill it out on all that dang paperwork.

Some Random Things I LOVE

I heart this necklace. I want one.

I'm going to try to make one of these. From Melly and Me.

I also am in love with this. As well as some others on plantsandanimal's site on etsy.

And how adorable is this?

A Very Cool Opportunity

I saw a retweet about this post earlier and it definitely peaked my interest. So, I went to Michael Hyatt's blog to see what it was all about. The premise is that if you have a blog and you like to read, Thomas Nelson will provide you with a free copy of a book in exchange for a 200 word review on your blog and on a public site (like Amazon).

I thought I'd sign up and give it a try. I mean, I love to read! what do I have to lose? I'm definitely excited about it.

I've chosen this book as my first:

Buried Alive The True Story of Kidnapping, Captivity, and a Dramatic Rescue (NelsonFree)
By Roy Hallums

I Survived the Snowpocalypse!

The craziest thing happened today! A blizzard!

Okay, not really at all. But...that's what everyone was expecting. Or that's what it seems like everyone was expecting.

Well, maybe not everyone.

It is Nashville afterall.

I was laying in bed this morning. The alarm had just gone off and I hit snooze as usual. Then, my cell phone, which was laying in the bed beside me started ringing. It was the automated phone call to say that the office was closed due to inclement weather. I ran to the window and looked out and there was nothing on the ground.

Did I hear the message right?

I logged on and checked my email. There was an email stating that the office was closed. I didn't understand. I was so confused. And at 6am, not a whole lot makes sense, so I went back to bed, expecting the snow to fall anyway. I woke up at 9 and checked the window again. No snow. At this point, I was really confused about what inclement weather we were having.

Around noon, as I was heading out to meet some friends for lunch, I took this picture.

It's what I like to call the Snowpocalypse! I mean, look at all that SNOW!! I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the hype Nashville makes about snow and ice. It definitely wasn't a big deal where I grew up!

Happy New Year!!

I had a fairly low-key new year's eve. We opted for a quiet night in that turned into photo booth mania. Here are a few of my favorite pictures.

Resolutions?

In 2010, I’d like to:

Run at least three 5ks this year (My first one is scheduled for January 23)
Eat healthier
Read at least 10 books
Take at least one real vacation – preferably a trip to somewhere super fun
Blog more
Love More
Pray More
Worry less
Complain Less
Stress Less

AT's Best Of 2009 List

It’s hard to believe it’s that time of the year…again. New Year’s Eve. Time to recap 2009.

Best Movies:
1. 500 Days of Summer
2. The Proposal
3. The Hangover
4. He’s Just Not That Into You
5. This Is It
6. The Blind Side

Best New TV Show:
Glee

Best Books:
1. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
3. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

Best Concerts:
1. New Kids on the Block!!!!!!
2. Coldplay
3. Death Cab For Cutie
4. Ben Folds
5. Dave Matthews
6. Butch Walker


Memorable Moments
1. Firecracker 5k (July 4th) – My first 5k!
2. Buying my Yaris!
3. Trip to Wheelwright with Cross Point
4. Panama City Beach Vacation with Emily
5. Sara and Ben’s Wedding
6. Camping at Henry Horton

Best Food:
1. Martin’s Barbeque
2. Chuy’s

Best Songs to Dance To:
1. Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus
2. My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson
3. So What - Pink
4. Boom Boom Pow – The Black Eyed Peas
5. Womanizer – Britney Spears
6. Forever – Drake
7. Knock You Down – Keri Hilson, Kanye West, Ne-Yo
8. Meet Me Halfway – The Black Eyed Peas
9. Evacuate the Dance Floor – Cascada
10. Just Dance – Lady GaGa

Best Albums
1. Glee: The Music Volume 1 & 2
2. John Mayer – Battle Studies
3. The Black Eyed Peas – The E.N.D. (The Energy Never Dies)
4. Fearless - Taylor Swift
5. The Fray – The Fray


A Moment in Time I’ll Always Remember:
Hearing about the death of Michael Jackson

A Brief Vacation

Vacations are never long enough…especially during the holidays.

I did have a great time in Kentucky with my family! I miss them a whole big bunch. I can't wait to have a little more time at Christmas to just hang out and not do much!

Wheelwright

This weekend I had an opportunity to serve in Wheelwright, KY with Cross Point. Over the last few years I’ve heard a lot about these Wheelwright trips. Our church takes several groups up throughout the year to deliver school supplies, clothing, gifts, and Christmas presents. The annual Christmas party is usually the larger trip. This year, we took close to 100 volunteers, one 26’ U-Haul and two smaller trailers full of stuff, over 30 dozen cookies, and a massive amount of chili.

The primary goal of this trip was to provide a Christmas party for the community and presents to a group of people who would otherwise be unable to have gifts on Christmas morning. I believe Ryan summed it up best when he said, “We are providing hope to a community of people who are void of hope.”

I volunteered to take candid shots during the trip. At first, I wasn’t sure how taking pictures was doing anything to really “further the kingdom.” I got back to work Monday and went out with a friend for lunch. We were talking about the trip, and I mentioned feeling inadequate and that what I did didn’t matter…he responded with “Amy, people that see those pictures see what it’s really like there and then they’ll want to make a difference whether that’s by sending something, volunteering themselves, or praying for them. That’s bigger than anything else.”

Wow.

Thankful for...

Today, I’m thankful for:

Family
Friends
A job
A place to live

Food
Being able to pay my bills
Clothes
Warmth
The small things
A vacation

Fall Retreat

I started volunteering with the youth back in September. When I first started I only knew a handful of kids through previous trips, missions projects, and volunteer opportunities throughout the years. This past weekend was the annual fall retreat. I knew it would be a great weekend to truly get to know the hearts of some of these students and actually feel like a leader and not just some creepy older person lurking in the corner.

I have never entered into a weekend like that questioning whether or not God would show up…but it’s always amazing to have my expectations completely blown out of the water. One of our campus pastors was the speaker Friday and Saturday. You could look around the room and just see God working in these student’s lives as he spoke. I heard plenty of stories over the weekend about exactly how he was working, stories of strength and determination…stories of hurt and pain…stories of realization and hope.

It definitely took me back to my high school days. I’m incredibly thankful and appreciative to everyone who volunteered with our youth group. For the leaders who invested in me. I am most certain that if it weren’t for them, my life would have been very different. I can only hope that loving on these students, listening to their stories, sharing in their joy, hurting in their pain, and loving them unconditionally will make not only a difference in their life, but in mine as well.

I’m looking forward to the future of what it means to be involved in this student ministry!

5 Million Minus 1

Visit my friend Natalie and JT's blog 5 Million Minus 1 and help them raise money for the adoption process!

New Sewing Machine For Me!

I've been saying forever (and forever, I mean about 5 years) that I want to try to sell crafts as an extra income. I finally took a big step yesterday and bought a sewing machine. I'm excited! I can't wait to start practicing and get to the point where what I invision in my head can be duplicated. Stay tuned! And get ready, because soon...there may even be a website!

Um, I invented Post-Its

Last week’s Bible Study centered around Philippians 2:14-15.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

Last night, we got together for our weekly recap and discussion. I feel like every week of this study has applied directly to me. Dang. I complain A LOT! I often speak before I think (or think through it enough to not get me in trouble). And more times than not, it’s something negative coming out of my mouth. This has become very evident to me in recent weeks.

I have a co-worker who likes to call me “Miss Pessimist” or various similar names. I always correct him, “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” Either way you spin it, I’m definitely a complainer.

Last night, it seemed like we spent a fair portion of the evening trying to find a loophole in the scripture.
“But what if we’re venting?”
“It’s okay if you’re not talking about someone, right?”
“What if we don’t say it to someone else?”

It definitely says “Do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing…”
EVERYTHING?
EVERYTHING!

Somewhere along the line of the discussion last night, I came up with a brilliant idea. Every time I open my mouth and complain, I’m going to write down what it is I’m complaining about on a post-it note. Then I’m going to counterbalance it with a prayer written out at the bottom. Next week, we’ll gather with our post-it notes and be able to visually see how much we’ve complained and what we spend our time complaining about. I challenge you to follow along and do the same. I’m hoping that over the course of the week it makes us become conscious of the words that are coming out of our mouths, and in return will cause us to complain less.

Texting Without a Phone

The things I would have texted you over the last few days if I'd been able:

• Anyone want to go to dinner?
• Wait...why is Martha Plimpton on Grey's Anatomy?
• I'm at your house. Where are you?!
• Hope your last day at work is going great!
• The girls at the table next to me at Panera are talking about how they only wash their hair every four or five days. Gross!
• I can help out Sunday if you need me to.
• The Batman signal is circling outside my condo. Seriously.

Instead, none of these ever got sent. :(

I'm hoping to get a new phone tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. I think I can make it 28 more hours. I've already made it 4 days. That's huge! It's like living 4 days without being able to use my fingers.

So Out Of Touch With the World...

I still don't have a phone. And it's making me realize just how much I really rely on that little thing and how addicted to it I've become.

I took it to the Apple store and the guy who helped me immediately knew it was water damaged by the pink stickers on the inside. So, he set me up an apppointment for Monday at 7. I guess I'm going to have to pay the $200 to get a new one. Because at this point, it's clear that I can't live without one.

I feel so out of touch with the world! I know it sounds like the most ridiculous thing ever, but I feel so sad without it. It's hard to make plans, hard to know what everyone else is doing. I can't just leave the house and make plans as I go. How were we operating before cell phones. I mean, I know it was possible. But it seems so hard to fathom now.

The things I've been missing out on. Facebook. Twitter. Shazam. Phone calls for no random reason. Phone calls to find out what's going on. Phone calls to tell someone I'm on my way. Phone calls. The internet. IMDB. Text messaging. The internet. Email. Facebook. Twitter. The internet. Phone calls. Text messaging. Picture texts. The internet. Okay, I think you get it. I pretty much use that phone for everything. It's my life line.

I miss it!!

The 46th Hour...

I decided to wait 46 hrs before I tried to plug the phone in. Last night, I could see some moisture in the camera lens of the phone. So I know that there was moisture that got in it. I stopped at Home Depot and picked up a Damp Rid sachet and put that in the ziplock bag with it. I was hoping it would pull the moisture out a little better than the rice.

I plugged it in at work this afternoon. The apple logo came on. Then continued to reset itself for the next 15 minutes. NOT GOOD! Finally, it acted like it was going to charge and went to the main screen. It was moving very slow and the apps were taking forever to load. It finally went to the screen telling me to sync it with itunes. But since I was at work, I couldn't really do anything about it. So when I packed up for the day and unplugged it, I realized it wasn't holding the charge and if it wasn't plugged in, it wasn't doing anything.

I went home and plugged it into the wall and it still wouldn't hold a charge. It wouldn't do anything once plugged into the computer at all.

I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow when I take it to the Apple Store to see what my options are. :(

The Things That Happen to Me...

Wednesday night, something horrible happened. It truly was a nightmare. I went to the gym, even though I still wasn't feeling great. I went and hopped on the treadmill with my iphone and towel, just like I've been doing for three nights a week. After about 15 mins, my heart rate was way out of control because of the meds the doc put me on. So I decided I wasn't quite ready to be back at the gym, so I went back to the locker room. I laid my phone on the toilet paper holder while I was going to blow my nose. And my iphone fell off and INTO the toilet. I don't think I've moved that quick in a really long time. But in about .2 seconds I had grabbed it out, completely wrapped it in toilet paper, and removed every water droplet from it. I tried to hold back my tears as I left the gym.

I'd heard of people "saving" their phones by putting them in a ziplock bag of rice, or ziplock back of damp rid or silicon packets. So I immediately stuck it in a full bag of rice. It kept turning itself off and on and it was making me incredibly nervous. I googled and read about a million articles and blogs about people who'd dropped their phones in water puddles, or the lake, or the swimming pool, and it ended up working out in their favor. So there was some hope in my heart that everything would be okay.


24 hours without the phone. HARD. I'm trying to decide how long to wait. Everything I've read says 24-48 hrs or longer. How are you supposed to know?

YAY for the Yaris!

So, I've been thinking a lot about getting a new car over the last few months. I absolutely loved having an SUV, but it's not really all that necessary for my life. Only having two doors isn't the most convenient for adults trying to climb in the backseat. The gas mileage is eating away my bank account. Champ was getting old, having lots of issues that needed to be fixed that were going to cost a lot of money. She had 157,000 miles...and she's a FORD! That's a CHAMP! I really wasn't looking forward to a car payment, but once I started researching, I realized that I could be saving over $100 a month just on gas alone.

I'd been trying to decide exactly what I wanted. At first, I wasn't totally convinced that the Toyota Yaris was for me, but I quickly fell in love with it. It was cute and little and the gas mileage alone was enough to convince me if was a good idea...I mean 30-35 mpg is over twice what I'm getting now!

Saturday, I was in Kentucky visiting the family. My stepdad wanted to go look for cars. I wasn't planning on doing anything for at least another month or so, but everything just seemed to work out perfectly. I was pre-approved for a loan, I found the car I liked, we made an offer, they accepted!

This will be my fourth vehicle, but it's definitely the newest! It's a 2008...only a year old. I'm super excited!

I will try to post more pics soon...if it ever stops raining!