When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities in the whole world was playing house. Part of the appeal was pretending to be whoever you wanted to be. You could create your name, age, occupation, how many kids you had, who you were married to. Most often my name was Stephanie, I was married to Joey McIntyre, and had two kids (my two favorite Cabbage Patch Kids - Edrick and Angela). I can’t tell you how often this scenario was replayed, but I’m sure it was more than you care to know. In that world, I was a grown up, doing grown up things. Driving, grocery shopping, using a credit card, writing checks, wearing high heels. I loved every minute of it.
Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name is still Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a means of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?!?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that the free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account that doesn't contain much money and spending the next few days wondering how much money you don't have has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.
All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. Yes, I have amazing family and friends in my life. Yes, I own a home. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.
So this year, I want to stop living in the future and focus on embracing the moments that are thrown my way.
Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.