Drumroll, please! Without further adieu...here's my costume for this year!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Some things don’t need words.
This is a photo I took of the sunset from my office building Tuesday evening after the storms.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Financial Rollercoaster
It’s been a rough year financially.
I’m incredibly thankful that last fall I finally broke down and took the Financial Peace class after years of contemplating it. If I hadn't, I might be in shambles right now. I've always been pretty financially responsible, but over the last three years, I grew in my comfort level. I had my emergency fund, plus some "extra" money in the bank. I was comfortable. I could give when I wanted, I could buy things when I wanted, I could take trips, and not worry.
Then, 2010 decided to take me on a financial rollercoaster. And I unwillingly went along for the ride.
In January, I did something that caused my neck to start spasming. I've had trouble off and on with this for years. But this time around, I was going to the chiropractor twice a week for several months. Those pennies add up quickly, especially when your insurance isn't covering much of the visit.
At the beginning of February I had just returned from a ridiculously long youth weekend retreat in Gatlinburg (where we may have been stuck at a truck stop for 4 hours). We were getting back into town about 30 minutes before kickoff for the Super Bowl. I’d been invited to a little get together with some friends. I had just enough time to run to Kroger, conjure up some homemade guacamole and head over to their place without missing too much of the action. I mixed everything together quickly, put it in a large Tupperware and rushed over to my friend’s apartment.
I had literally been there for five minutes when disaster struck. I was in the kitchen alone finishing up my homemade guacamole. I grabbed a knife and sliced the lime in half. I went to make a couple incisions in it so that the juice would squeeze out a little easier. Apparently, somewhere in the process, I sliced into my thumb. I was bleeding. I calmly called my friend into her kitchen to ask her opinion of whether or not I needed stitches. I was pretty certain that I needed stitches, but I didn't want to go to the ER. After a while of contemplating and having everyone weigh in, I headed to the ER.
Had I known it was going to cost $1000 to put three little blue stitches in my thumb and give me a tetanus shot, I probably would have bandaged that sucker up and waited until the next morning to go to a clinic. Hindsight is always 20/20 though, right?
In April, after several specialist appointments, it was decided that I should have major surgery...an adult tonsillectomy. While that was much more intense (and expensive) than I was hoping, it was something that I needed to do.
It probably would have been helpful to know that any of these events would be occurring when I chose my insurance.
Anyway, all that to say that it’s been a rough year for finances, especially medical bills. As careful as I have been with money, it seems like I never have much left over. It’s probably a good thing because it keeps me from spending frivolously, but it’s a different place than I’m used to being. I feel like I can't just do the things I want. I have to monitor every dollar I spend. And honestly, I don’t like it.
In evaluating this and thinking about it over the last several days, I've realized how greedy I can be. I have everything I need. I have more than I want. I'm taken care of. I can provide for myself. But yet, I want more. It never seems to be enough. And that's so ridiculous.
So, instead of worrying about it all, I'm going to focus on being a good steward of my money. I want to focus on giving more.
In the last couple months, I’ve found ways to cut back. I discovered that we get an AT&T Wireless discount through work. That’s saved me almost $19 a month. I’ve also been seriously contemplating getting rid of my Netflix membership and my YMCA membership. I use Netflix all the time, but I could probably find better use of my time and the Redbox is just as convenient. Our new office has a small gym. It seems silly to continue to pay for the Y, but there's a part of me that wants to hang on to it.
I’ve been clipping coupons (a lot) for everything…trying to take my lunch to work (as much as I love getting out of the office)…and just trying to keep things simple.
Anyone have any other suggestions on simple ways you've saved money?
I’m incredibly thankful that last fall I finally broke down and took the Financial Peace class after years of contemplating it. If I hadn't, I might be in shambles right now. I've always been pretty financially responsible, but over the last three years, I grew in my comfort level. I had my emergency fund, plus some "extra" money in the bank. I was comfortable. I could give when I wanted, I could buy things when I wanted, I could take trips, and not worry.
Then, 2010 decided to take me on a financial rollercoaster. And I unwillingly went along for the ride.
In January, I did something that caused my neck to start spasming. I've had trouble off and on with this for years. But this time around, I was going to the chiropractor twice a week for several months. Those pennies add up quickly, especially when your insurance isn't covering much of the visit.
At the beginning of February I had just returned from a ridiculously long youth weekend retreat in Gatlinburg (where we may have been stuck at a truck stop for 4 hours). We were getting back into town about 30 minutes before kickoff for the Super Bowl. I’d been invited to a little get together with some friends. I had just enough time to run to Kroger, conjure up some homemade guacamole and head over to their place without missing too much of the action. I mixed everything together quickly, put it in a large Tupperware and rushed over to my friend’s apartment.
I had literally been there for five minutes when disaster struck. I was in the kitchen alone finishing up my homemade guacamole. I grabbed a knife and sliced the lime in half. I went to make a couple incisions in it so that the juice would squeeze out a little easier. Apparently, somewhere in the process, I sliced into my thumb. I was bleeding. I calmly called my friend into her kitchen to ask her opinion of whether or not I needed stitches. I was pretty certain that I needed stitches, but I didn't want to go to the ER. After a while of contemplating and having everyone weigh in, I headed to the ER.
Had I known it was going to cost $1000 to put three little blue stitches in my thumb and give me a tetanus shot, I probably would have bandaged that sucker up and waited until the next morning to go to a clinic. Hindsight is always 20/20 though, right?
In April, after several specialist appointments, it was decided that I should have major surgery...an adult tonsillectomy. While that was much more intense (and expensive) than I was hoping, it was something that I needed to do.
It probably would have been helpful to know that any of these events would be occurring when I chose my insurance.
Anyway, all that to say that it’s been a rough year for finances, especially medical bills. As careful as I have been with money, it seems like I never have much left over. It’s probably a good thing because it keeps me from spending frivolously, but it’s a different place than I’m used to being. I feel like I can't just do the things I want. I have to monitor every dollar I spend. And honestly, I don’t like it.
In evaluating this and thinking about it over the last several days, I've realized how greedy I can be. I have everything I need. I have more than I want. I'm taken care of. I can provide for myself. But yet, I want more. It never seems to be enough. And that's so ridiculous.
So, instead of worrying about it all, I'm going to focus on being a good steward of my money. I want to focus on giving more.
In the last couple months, I’ve found ways to cut back. I discovered that we get an AT&T Wireless discount through work. That’s saved me almost $19 a month. I’ve also been seriously contemplating getting rid of my Netflix membership and my YMCA membership. I use Netflix all the time, but I could probably find better use of my time and the Redbox is just as convenient. Our new office has a small gym. It seems silly to continue to pay for the Y, but there's a part of me that wants to hang on to it.
I’ve been clipping coupons (a lot) for everything…trying to take my lunch to work (as much as I love getting out of the office)…and just trying to keep things simple.
Anyone have any other suggestions on simple ways you've saved money?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Africa, Here I Come!
Last week, I got a very simple message from a friend that just said, "You want to go to Africa with me in June 2011?"
My response was immediate. "Actually, I'd LOVE to!"
And while this response seemed rash and completely not thought out and very unlike me, I couldn't pass up this opportunity. I've always had a heart for Africa and have always wanted the chance to go there.
When I was in third grade, we had a guest speaker at chuch. I don't remember what he came to talk to us about, but I do remember that he was from Kenya. I remember being facinated by his dark skin and his huge bright white smile. He taught us a song in Swahili. Now, 21 years later, I can't remember for the life of me remember what song it was, but I do remember singing it for weeks after that so I wouldn't forget it. I even went so far as to write it out phonetically so that I wouldn't forget. And since that time, I have wanted to go to Africa.
Next summer, I'll be venturing to Nairobi, Kenya for 2 weeks with about 10 other people. We'll be traveling to several slums providing VBS, Bible studies, and sports camps. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. A quick side note: I'll be celebrating my 30th birthday there! How exciting is that?
I'll be raising support to help fund my trip, so as I come up with creative ideas on how I can do that, I'm sure I'll be posting more here. Please pray about partnering with me on this journey. Whether it be financially, or in prayer, it's all appreciated.
My response was immediate. "Actually, I'd LOVE to!"
And while this response seemed rash and completely not thought out and very unlike me, I couldn't pass up this opportunity. I've always had a heart for Africa and have always wanted the chance to go there.
When I was in third grade, we had a guest speaker at chuch. I don't remember what he came to talk to us about, but I do remember that he was from Kenya. I remember being facinated by his dark skin and his huge bright white smile. He taught us a song in Swahili. Now, 21 years later, I can't remember for the life of me remember what song it was, but I do remember singing it for weeks after that so I wouldn't forget it. I even went so far as to write it out phonetically so that I wouldn't forget. And since that time, I have wanted to go to Africa.
Next summer, I'll be venturing to Nairobi, Kenya for 2 weeks with about 10 other people. We'll be traveling to several slums providing VBS, Bible studies, and sports camps. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. A quick side note: I'll be celebrating my 30th birthday there! How exciting is that?
I'll be raising support to help fund my trip, so as I come up with creative ideas on how I can do that, I'm sure I'll be posting more here. Please pray about partnering with me on this journey. Whether it be financially, or in prayer, it's all appreciated.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Top Secret - Halloween Costume
I absolutely love Halloween. I know there are people out there who think it's a children's holiday, but I am a huge fan. I love candy. I love dressing up. And I love coming up with amazing costumes. I can't reveal my costume for this year just yet. But I'll tell you this...I came up with the idea in February. At first, I wasn't sure anyone could really pull it off. But with the help of my wonderful mother, a plan was put into action and it's almost complete. I'm super excited about this one. But since I can't share it with you just yet, I'll leave you with some pictures from some of my favorites from years past.
2008 - Rainbow Brite
2008 - Kat Von D
Friday, October 15, 2010
Happy 5 Year Anniversary to Me!
(Photo by Sutton Spence)
At what point can you call the place you live “home” and actually mean it?
Nashville does feel like my home and it has since the first day I moved here. I knew that I wanted to live in Nashville since the spring of 2002. I was visiting Nashville for a weekend training for a job. It was a weekend filled with fun, lots of learning, new friends, meeting a guy I’d eventually date, and falling in love. That weekend, I was giddy as I walked against the crisp, cool air as the notes of unfamiliar country hits crept into the streets from the nearest honky tonk bars. The plastic Elvises all around the city seemed incredibly appropriate. I thought the city was absolutely majestic.
The boy and I walked down to Riverfront Park telling stories the whole way. I listened and watched in amazement as the city came to life before my very eyes.
We walked to the other side of the Cumberland River and sat on some huge rocks and just stared at the skyline for what seemed like forever. And I fell in love. Not with the boy. But with the city I knew would one day be my home.
And thinking back, I think that’s the moment I really knew that I wanted to live here. I knew that I wanted to come back…if even for a brief period of time.
And today, I celebrate my 5th anniversary. Not with that boy, but with Nashville. And I couldn’t be more excited.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Season of Change
I like to think that I welcome change with open arms. But if I’m truly honest with myself, I may be putting on a front. Most of the time, I tend to be very consistent in almost everything I do. Not to say that I don’t like to try new stuff, I definitely do. But a lot of times, I stick within the safety of what I know.
There was a Barnes and Noble located around the corner to where our previous office was. I’d only worked there for a short time before it became my morning sanctuary. They quickly learned that I always ordered a grande caramel macchiato and that I rarely, if ever, ordered anything else. Over the (almost) five years I worked at that area, it seemed there were a million employees that worked in the café. Most of them knew me and knew what I wanted without even asking. There were a few employees in particular that made my day when they worked (One may or may not have been a huge crush). But It made me feel special. It wasn’t just about ordering a macchiato. They knew me.
Last week, our organization moved about 10 miles up the road. It’s a much nicer building and everything is customized for us. It’s supposed to represent what we do, what we believe, and who we are. It’s a very attractive space, highly innovative, and very modern. But there’s just something about it that’s not incredibly appealing to me. It may be that my wonderful little office has been stripped from me and I’ve been forced back into cubicle life. Or, there may just be something deeply sentimental about our previous location. I started working there a month after I moved to Nashville. And nothing in my life has really been consistent (especially with work) since I first moved. I’ve changed positions, I’ve changed bosses, and I’ve changed cubicles and offices, all numerous times. But that building always remained the same. Now, the stability that I once knew has been removed, and once again, change has taken the forefront.
I’m sure after a little while this will start to feel like home. And I’m sure it won’t be long before I can find a place to get good coffee with kind people who remember who I am and what I like. And if I put on my happy face and try really hard, they might even want to be friends. And I know it won’t be too long before the seasons start to change again. And until that time, I’m going to cling to the small consistencies in my life. Because apparently, as it turns out, I’m not a huge fan of change.
There was a Barnes and Noble located around the corner to where our previous office was. I’d only worked there for a short time before it became my morning sanctuary. They quickly learned that I always ordered a grande caramel macchiato and that I rarely, if ever, ordered anything else. Over the (almost) five years I worked at that area, it seemed there were a million employees that worked in the café. Most of them knew me and knew what I wanted without even asking. There were a few employees in particular that made my day when they worked (One may or may not have been a huge crush). But It made me feel special. It wasn’t just about ordering a macchiato. They knew me.
Last week, our organization moved about 10 miles up the road. It’s a much nicer building and everything is customized for us. It’s supposed to represent what we do, what we believe, and who we are. It’s a very attractive space, highly innovative, and very modern. But there’s just something about it that’s not incredibly appealing to me. It may be that my wonderful little office has been stripped from me and I’ve been forced back into cubicle life. Or, there may just be something deeply sentimental about our previous location. I started working there a month after I moved to Nashville. And nothing in my life has really been consistent (especially with work) since I first moved. I’ve changed positions, I’ve changed bosses, and I’ve changed cubicles and offices, all numerous times. But that building always remained the same. Now, the stability that I once knew has been removed, and once again, change has taken the forefront.
I’m sure after a little while this will start to feel like home. And I’m sure it won’t be long before I can find a place to get good coffee with kind people who remember who I am and what I like. And if I put on my happy face and try really hard, they might even want to be friends. And I know it won’t be too long before the seasons start to change again. And until that time, I’m going to cling to the small consistencies in my life. Because apparently, as it turns out, I’m not a huge fan of change.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
The Great International City Swap
My friend, Laura, over at Just Put on a Little Lipstick is hosting this year's International City Swap. I told her that I'd help her out with some of the organization with it. It's an incredibly cool idea that her blog friend Shelly started. So, keeping with tradition, here's what you do.
What is the International City Swap?
What we do is we swap cities/towns. You put together a package that you think best represents the place where you live, and what you love about it. Or, if you think where you live is ridiculous, you can put in the silliest things you can find. It’s up to your own creativity.
In the past there have been some really lovely packages circulating: from Detroit to Alaska, NYC to Rome, Jordan, NY to Turin, Italy, San Jose, CA to Australia, and Atlanta, Georgia to Rome and many going state to state here in the USA. You do not have to have a blog to participate, just an email address and the willingness to put together and mail a package.
HERE ARE THE DETAILS:
What: Swap some thing(s) that, in your opinion, best represent the place where you live, and what you think makes it unique. It can be anything from handmade to store-bought, mugs to magnets, framed photos to local food items and handicrafts to postcards and local candy…just use your creativity!
How: To join the swap, leave a comment on this post with your information, OR email InternationalCitySwap@gmail.com . Please indicate if you do not wish to send internationally.
When: The deadline to join in the swap is Sunday, October 10th. The list of swap buddies will be posted on Sunday, October 17th. Then you can get in touch with the person you’ll be sending to, to see if they have any special likes/dislikes, etc. and perhaps personalize their package a bit. You’ll have two weeks to put your package together: the packages will need to go out by Monday, November 1st.
Cost: With international currencies at different values, I’d feel better not constraining people to a set range. Use your own judgement regarding how much to spend, but I’d say a minimum of $15 is probably a good idea, just so that no one gets short-changed.
If you’d like to add a participant button to your blog sidebar, you can grab this one, and link it back to Laura's post:
Image by FlamingText.com
What is the International City Swap?
What we do is we swap cities/towns. You put together a package that you think best represents the place where you live, and what you love about it. Or, if you think where you live is ridiculous, you can put in the silliest things you can find. It’s up to your own creativity.
In the past there have been some really lovely packages circulating: from Detroit to Alaska, NYC to Rome, Jordan, NY to Turin, Italy, San Jose, CA to Australia, and Atlanta, Georgia to Rome and many going state to state here in the USA. You do not have to have a blog to participate, just an email address and the willingness to put together and mail a package.
HERE ARE THE DETAILS:
What: Swap some thing(s) that, in your opinion, best represent the place where you live, and what you think makes it unique. It can be anything from handmade to store-bought, mugs to magnets, framed photos to local food items and handicrafts to postcards and local candy…just use your creativity!
How: To join the swap, leave a comment on this post with your information, OR email InternationalCitySwap@gmail.com . Please indicate if you do not wish to send internationally.
When: The deadline to join in the swap is Sunday, October 10th. The list of swap buddies will be posted on Sunday, October 17th. Then you can get in touch with the person you’ll be sending to, to see if they have any special likes/dislikes, etc. and perhaps personalize their package a bit. You’ll have two weeks to put your package together: the packages will need to go out by Monday, November 1st.
Cost: With international currencies at different values, I’d feel better not constraining people to a set range. Use your own judgement regarding how much to spend, but I’d say a minimum of $15 is probably a good idea, just so that no one gets short-changed.
If you’d like to add a participant button to your blog sidebar, you can grab this one, and link it back to Laura's post:
Image by FlamingText.com
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Speech
A couple weekends ago, I had the privilege of being a part of one of my best friends weddings. One of the duties of being maid of honor is to prepare a speech to the bride and groom. Honestly, I was told that I wasn't going to have to speak at the rehearsal dinner, I was a tad disappointed. Not that I'm an amazing speaker, but because there was a lot that I wanted to say to this incredibly special couple. Come to find out, I did have to deliver a quick speech at the rehearsal dinner afterall. Luckily, neither I, nor the best man was aware, so neither of us had anything prepared. So, after he delievered a quick speech, I followed in suit. What I said, was a very watered down version of this. If I'd had time to prepare, I would have said something along these lines.
I met Robyn in 2002 while working summer camp. God knew what he was doing when we got paired together as prayer partners and through that experience became very good friends. That summer, we shared some pretty big stuff with each other, but nothing brought us closer together than her upcoming trip to China. Over the next year, we emailed, chatted online, and prayed for each other and through those experiences, our friendship grew.
Our love of movies, music, and all things pop culture only brought us closer together.
Somehow while Robyn was in Washington State for seminary, I planted an idea that we needed to move to Nashville. It worked. While Nashville didn't seem to suit Robyn the way I had hoped it would, we had a great time living together.
She's always been there for me. Whether it was just hanging out, going with me to watch bands in Nashville, or being a shoulder to cry on when my father passed away.
After Robyn and Chris got engaged, I came to Little Rock to visit and to meet the man of her dreams. When she asked me what I thought, my words of wisdom were "If the biggest struggle in your marriage is that he's a neat freak and you're messy, then I think you'll be doing good." Of course I was kidding...kind of. But in all seriousness, I've never seen Robyn get so excited about a boy. From the moment I first heard mention of Chris, she would get so excited when she talked about him. I'll admit, at first, I was a little leary about the whole thing. But once I met Chris and spent time with the two of them together, I knew that they were perfect for each other. And I wouldn't say that about just anyone.
Robyn and Chris, I'm excited that you have found new lifelong friends in each other. I pray that God continues to bless your friendship through prayer. Just as he did with mine and Robyn's friendship so many years ago.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Cold Hearted Snake
In college, a guy that I dated for a brief couple months told me that I was "cold hearted and closed off and unmotional." They may not have been that exact order, but those were the words. At the time, I remember thinking that he was absolutely ludacris because he was one of the most emotional guys I'd ever met in my life. Mostly because as he told me that, he was holding back tears, but also because that was the second time in a short time that I'd seen him cry. But truthfully, as much as me and my friends made jokes about it, we all knew it was true.
Apparently, I'm a very strong ESTJ which means that I had very high scores for each of the four dichotomies.
As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.
The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.
The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.
When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.
ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.
The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.
Although ESTJs typically put their family above their friends, they do enjoy and value their friendships. They enjoy having fun and spending time with others, especially those who share their interests and pursuits. They are likely to choose to spend free time with friends pursuing some activity or hobby - probably athletic or sports-oriented. They're likely to socialize quite a bit with their own family members, and with people who belong to the same organization or institution as the ESTJ.
ESTJs are usually status-conscious, and will respect others who they feel have acheived a high degree of success in our society. Although ESTJs have very high standards for behavior, and believe that they know what is appropriate and best in any given situation, they're likely to be less controlling with those who they feel are powerful individuals.
ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. Conversely, those who live entirely in the current moment (Sensing Perceivers) may not appreciate the ESTJ's strong judgments, which may seem overly traditional to them. ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.
ESTJs tend to be enthusiastic, sharp, and witty. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well. They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits.
The ESTJ is generally very opinionated, and likes to appear authoritative and in charge. They may temper this tendency when around other ESTJs whom they value. Around other types, this tendency may cause them to be abrupt and direct, to the point where they inadvertantly step on people's toes.
(Taken from http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESTJ.html)
I've never been much of a crier. I think logically and rationally. I follow through on committments. I'm loyal. I've never been emotional. And I don't think these are things that will ever change. I think I've always been that way. As a child, I was always prepared. I had a fire evacuation plan. I forced my mom and dad practice with me. I watched Rescue 911 which taught me to have my plan for what I would do if someone broke in my house. No one taught me to behave this way, it's just how I've always been.
My team at work recently took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a fun exercise to learn more about each other. I've taken this before, and my results couldn't be more accurate. Personality tests always intrigue me. Mostly because they always peg me for exactly who I am. I love them.
Apparently, I'm a very strong ESTJ which means that I had very high scores for each of the four dichotomies.
I believe this pretty much sums me up:
The GuardianAs an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.
The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.
The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.
When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.
ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.
The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.
Although ESTJs typically put their family above their friends, they do enjoy and value their friendships. They enjoy having fun and spending time with others, especially those who share their interests and pursuits. They are likely to choose to spend free time with friends pursuing some activity or hobby - probably athletic or sports-oriented. They're likely to socialize quite a bit with their own family members, and with people who belong to the same organization or institution as the ESTJ.
ESTJs are usually status-conscious, and will respect others who they feel have acheived a high degree of success in our society. Although ESTJs have very high standards for behavior, and believe that they know what is appropriate and best in any given situation, they're likely to be less controlling with those who they feel are powerful individuals.
ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. Conversely, those who live entirely in the current moment (Sensing Perceivers) may not appreciate the ESTJ's strong judgments, which may seem overly traditional to them. ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.
ESTJs tend to be enthusiastic, sharp, and witty. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well. They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits.
The ESTJ is generally very opinionated, and likes to appear authoritative and in charge. They may temper this tendency when around other ESTJs whom they value. Around other types, this tendency may cause them to be abrupt and direct, to the point where they inadvertantly step on people's toes.
(Taken from http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESTJ.html)
Monday, August 09, 2010
Light at the end of the tunnel
There's finally a little light at the end of this tunnel. It's not bright, but it's there. And it gives me a glimmer of hope. It may be a small glimmer...but I'll take it.
Stay tuned.
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The All Purpose Toy
In order to promote their breakfast muffin sandwich and their new breakfast dollar menu, Burger King has a new commercial that just brought back images of one of my most traumatic childhood memories.
In this commercial, there are two guys standing in a desert looking area. The guy who just made a smart decision by buying his breakfast muffin off the new dollar menu is squished inside a large tire. The other guy stands behind him verifying how smart he is and that due to saving money, he can now afford to make dumb decisions. Then without warning, he gives the tire the ol' heave ho and rolls his friend down the hill. I looked for the video on you tube, but unfortunatley I couldn't find it.
In this commercial, there are two guys standing in a desert looking area. The guy who just made a smart decision by buying his breakfast muffin off the new dollar menu is squished inside a large tire. The other guy stands behind him verifying how smart he is and that due to saving money, he can now afford to make dumb decisions. Then without warning, he gives the tire the ol' heave ho and rolls his friend down the hill. I looked for the video on you tube, but unfortunatley I couldn't find it.
When I was about six years old, my cousins inherited an inner tube from a large tractor tire. I'm not quite sure how they came into such an amazing inheritance, but it was a favorite play thing for quite some time. This was such a multipurpose toy and with the imaginations of two 6 year olds and an 10 year old, there was always some new way to play with it.
My personal favorite was to use the inner tube as a trampoline. It was especially fun if someone was across from you to bounce you up even higher. But, my cousins, being the boys they were, quickly grew tired of using it as a trampoline. So, they began to find new uses for it. We played human bowling where you would roll it at the kids trying to run from it (on second hand, maybe it was a little more like inner tube dodgeball). We took it to the lake and swam with it. We used it like a basketball hoop. We laid around on it and used it like a lawn chair. For that entire summer, I coveted that inner tube. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.
Until one day.
We were rolling it around the front yard of their house when they convinced me to get inside. it may have had something to do with the fact I was the only one small enough to actually fit in it. Or, it may have been that I was the only one they could convince to do it. I was a fairly shy child, but I could be talked into anything by the right people. Those cousins were the right people. I remember climbing inside. I was terrified. But very gently and very slowly, they rolled me around the front yard. It was kind of fun. I climbed out and we continued to roll the inner tube around the house and into the backyard. Again, they convinced me to climb in so they could roll me down the hill. Now, this hill was probably the length of at least two houses. It was one of those hills that all the neighborhood kids came out to sled on when it snowed.
And my cousins wanted to roll me down it. In an inner tube.
My older cousin told me that he'd go down to the bottom of the hill and be there to catch me. He was always standing up for me and very over protective and always watching out for me being the only girl. I'm sure I told them that I didn't want to do it. And I'm sure there was some name calling involved. And I'm sure I got my feelings hurt.
But, I did what any seven year old girl who trusted her cousins with her life would do. I let them roll me down a hill in a huge black inner tube.
Now, the memory gets a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty certain the moment the tire left my cousin's hands the tears started to flow. I do remember wanting to jump out, but I was afraid I would get hurt. So I stayed put inside the tire. I let it roll me for what seemed like forever. And then, I crashed. Not into my cousins arms as promised, but into a huge wooden fence post. And it hurt. And I cried. And my cousins took off running. I'm pretty sure that was about the same time my mom came running out the back door.
I learned that day that it was okay to say no to things I didn't want to do. It's definitely a lesson I've had to teach myself over and over these last 23 years. Occasionally, it's something I still have a hard time with. Especially having a hard time disappointing others. But I've come a long way since that day I volunteered to get rolled down a hill in a huge inner tube.
And just as a side note, I could probably pin point this story as having something to do with some of my trust issues. :)
Monday, July 26, 2010
White Water Adventure
This weekend, I took a much needed break from studying and went white water rafting with the youth. I was pretty excited about this trip. Mostly because the last time I went white water rafting I was their age. It was the summer after I graduated high school.
Everyone had a great time. And we brought everyone back safely.
Here’s some pictures of our white water adventure.
Everyone had a great time. And we brought everyone back safely.
Here’s some pictures of our white water adventure.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Candle Holders For a Cause
My college friends Jenny and Stuart are begining to raise money for thier adoption process. They already have 18 month old twins (who are stinkin' adorable!) and are planning on expanding their family by adopting from Ethiopia.
In order to raise money, they'll be selling candle holders that are perfect for tealights or votives. Head on over to their blog and help support an amazing family! You can place orders through their blog, or you can email jennyborders@gmail.com for more info.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Authenticity
Last week we had a youth event for local missions. My church has had a very strong presence in the flood clean up over the last couple months. And there is still plenty of work to be done. This was a three day event where they helped with flood relief during the day, hung out during the afternoons, and had worship at night, followed by more time to hang out and get to know each other.
Due to having a 8-5 (or 9-6, depending on the day) job, I was unable to be around for the full event. Though I would have much rather been installing dry wall with those kids than what I was really doing. I was able to stop by the church Wednesday night to help serve dinner and be there for worship and to hang out for a bit. I was asked if I could help lead the discussion for our campus after worship. Little did I know what that meant.
At the end of worship, these 25 middle and high school kids gather around the steps of the stage to discuss confession and sin. And that's when the conversation turned incredibly real. I wasn't expecting the the things we discussed to surface, but it was the most real, raw, authentic conversation I've heard in a long time. One by one, they opened up their hearts and shared with other people, what was really going on. What they were really struggling with. What they were really afraid of.
And one by one, I saw these kids breathe a little easier. I could physically see that their load was lighter. So why is confession something that doesn't seem to get much attention. Why do we try to fix things ourselves? Why are we so afraid to be completely authentic?
We should be able to come together with other believers and be truly authentic. And I'm so proud of that group of students for opening up and letting others see into the deepest, grittiest part of their unexposed hearts.
Due to having a 8-5 (or 9-6, depending on the day) job, I was unable to be around for the full event. Though I would have much rather been installing dry wall with those kids than what I was really doing. I was able to stop by the church Wednesday night to help serve dinner and be there for worship and to hang out for a bit. I was asked if I could help lead the discussion for our campus after worship. Little did I know what that meant.
At the end of worship, these 25 middle and high school kids gather around the steps of the stage to discuss confession and sin. And that's when the conversation turned incredibly real. I wasn't expecting the the things we discussed to surface, but it was the most real, raw, authentic conversation I've heard in a long time. One by one, they opened up their hearts and shared with other people, what was really going on. What they were really struggling with. What they were really afraid of.
And one by one, I saw these kids breathe a little easier. I could physically see that their load was lighter. So why is confession something that doesn't seem to get much attention. Why do we try to fix things ourselves? Why are we so afraid to be completely authentic?
After thinking about it for a few days, I really think that it's fear.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of not being loved.
Fear of failure.
We should be able to come together with other believers and be truly authentic. And I'm so proud of that group of students for opening up and letting others see into the deepest, grittiest part of their unexposed hearts.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Chicago...In Pictures
Cloud Gate Against the City
The reflection of the city in Cloud Gate
Me at Buckingham Fountain
I loved seeing the reflections of allthe buildings on the river
View from the womens bathroom on the 96th floor of the John Hancock Center
View from the Signature Lounge on the 96thFloor of the John Hancock Center
John Hancock Center
John Hancock CenterThursday, July 01, 2010
Chicago, Here I Come!
I was at lunch last week with a co-worker, telling her that I had $130 toward a flight that was about to expire and that the opportunity to use it hadn’t presented itself. I had originally planned on using it for my trip to San Antonio in August, but when I tried to apply it toward that ticket, it told me that it was going to expire July 8. At that point, I only had three weeks to find a use for it. I had asked a few friends if they’d be interested in going to Chicago (or anywhere, but Chicago was the cheapest option) over a weekend, but none of them could work it out with their schedules or finances. So at that point, it seemed like I’d be traveling alone, or it would just expire and go to waste.
Until that moment, sitting in a barbeque joint across from my co-worker, hearing her say, “I’m not doing anything fourth of July weekend… I could go with you.”
Thirty minutes later, plane tickets had been purchased and we will be on our way to Chicago in just days!
What's the one thing I have to do while I'm there?!
Until that moment, sitting in a barbeque joint across from my co-worker, hearing her say, “I’m not doing anything fourth of July weekend… I could go with you.”
Thirty minutes later, plane tickets had been purchased and we will be on our way to Chicago in just days!
What's the one thing I have to do while I'm there?!
Monday, June 28, 2010
My Mom Is Cooler Than Your Mom!
As I've mentioned before, I've been in a funk. It's not been pretty.
This weekend I went and hung out with my mom. It was one of those trips where I felt like I needed to remember who I was. Where I came from. Why I am who I am. Where my roots are. Where I belong. That I’m loved.
I needed to be reminded that life isn’t quite as difficult as I’ve been making it out to be.
And who better to do that than my mom! My mom and I have a very good relationship. It’s not always been that way, but for the last six or seven years, she’s been one of my closest friends. I know there are a lot of people who can’t call their mom a friend. And for that, I will count my blessings. I definitely went through the bratty teenager period where my mom embarrassed me and left me mortified beyond belief just by volunteering to go on a school field trip. But those years are long behind us. I now realize that I should have thought it was cool that all my friends loved my mom growing up and everyone always wanted to ride with her instead of other moms. But at the time, I thought it was ridiculous…because mom’s aren’t cool.
So, I went to visit the one person who knows me better than anyone.
Saturday morning we went to pick up some coffee to start off our day. Does she know me, or what? She had planned for us to get shoulder massages at her salon. Seriously, what better way is there to start your day other than coffee and massages?
From there, we went shopping. Then, we moved on to a short road trip north to hit the casino. I think it’s the first time I’ve actually lost money, but it was still super fun (I should have known considering I haven’t been having the greatest luck lately). Luckily, mom came out ahead. We headed back home to have dinner with my youngest brother.
Then, we headed to a concert in the park for The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad. Now, I am very aware that most people my age do not know who either of these bands are. But, I grew up listening to the oldies. We’d put on old records and dance around the living room. We’d put on old records and clean the house. We’d put on old records and cook dinner (I think you get the point). So, attending this concert in the park was something that just seemed natural. I may have been one of ten people under the age of 40, but still. My mom had a good time…and so did I.
I had a great time just hanging out, talking, laughing, and being around my mom. When I left, my heart felt lighter, I had more freckles, I owned some new clothes, I had less stress, and I had a cute pedicure.
This weekend I went and hung out with my mom. It was one of those trips where I felt like I needed to remember who I was. Where I came from. Why I am who I am. Where my roots are. Where I belong. That I’m loved.
I needed to be reminded that life isn’t quite as difficult as I’ve been making it out to be.
And who better to do that than my mom! My mom and I have a very good relationship. It’s not always been that way, but for the last six or seven years, she’s been one of my closest friends. I know there are a lot of people who can’t call their mom a friend. And for that, I will count my blessings. I definitely went through the bratty teenager period where my mom embarrassed me and left me mortified beyond belief just by volunteering to go on a school field trip. But those years are long behind us. I now realize that I should have thought it was cool that all my friends loved my mom growing up and everyone always wanted to ride with her instead of other moms. But at the time, I thought it was ridiculous…because mom’s aren’t cool.
So, I went to visit the one person who knows me better than anyone.
Saturday morning we went to pick up some coffee to start off our day. Does she know me, or what? She had planned for us to get shoulder massages at her salon. Seriously, what better way is there to start your day other than coffee and massages?
From there, we went shopping. Then, we moved on to a short road trip north to hit the casino. I think it’s the first time I’ve actually lost money, but it was still super fun (I should have known considering I haven’t been having the greatest luck lately). Luckily, mom came out ahead. We headed back home to have dinner with my youngest brother.
Then, we headed to a concert in the park for The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad. Now, I am very aware that most people my age do not know who either of these bands are. But, I grew up listening to the oldies. We’d put on old records and dance around the living room. We’d put on old records and clean the house. We’d put on old records and cook dinner (I think you get the point). So, attending this concert in the park was something that just seemed natural. I may have been one of ten people under the age of 40, but still. My mom had a good time…and so did I.
I had a great time just hanging out, talking, laughing, and being around my mom. When I left, my heart felt lighter, I had more freckles, I owned some new clothes, I had less stress, and I had a cute pedicure.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
29
When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities in the whole world was playing house. Part of the appeal was pretending to be whoever you wanted to be. You could create your name, age, occupation, how many kids you had, who you were married to. Most often my name was Stephanie, I was married to Joey McIntyre, and had two kids (my two favorite Cabbage Patch Kids - Edrick and Angela). I can’t tell you how often this scenario was replayed, but I’m sure it was more than you care to know. I was a grown up, doing grown up things. Driving, grocery shopping, using a credit card, writing checks, wearing high heels. I loved every minute of it.
Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name was never changed, I still go by Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a way of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account you don’t have much money in has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.
All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.
Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.
Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name was never changed, I still go by Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a way of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account you don’t have much money in has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.
All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.
Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.
Happy 29th Year
When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities in the whole world was playing house. Part of the appeal was pretending to be whoever you wanted to be. You could create your name, age, occupation, how many kids you had, who you were married to. Most often my name was Stephanie, I was married to Joey McIntyre, and had two kids (my two favorite Cabbage Patch Kids - Edrick and Angela). I can’t tell you how often this scenario was replayed, but I’m sure it was more than you care to know. In that world, I was a grown up, doing grown up things. Driving, grocery shopping, using a credit card, writing checks, wearing high heels. I loved every minute of it.
Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name is still Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a means of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?!?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that the free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account that doesn't contain much money and spending the next few days wondering how much money you don't have has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.
All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. Yes, I have amazing family and friends in my life. Yes, I own a home. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.
So this year, I want to stop living in the future and focus on embracing the moments that are thrown my way.
Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.
Now that I am a grown up, it doesn’t seem quite so fun. My legal name is still Amy. I’m not married to the youngest member of New Kids on the Block. Driving was fun for a while (especially when I was 16!), but now that I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s merely a means of transportation (except on that perfect day with the windows rolled down, scream singing to the radio). Grocery shopping is not nearly as fun, especially when you’re spending REAL money. And shopping just so you can prepare a meal and eat alone is even more depressing (Where is Joey?!?). I found out in college that using a credit card definitely has its consequences and that the free tee shirt is definitely not worth risking your credit score. Writing checks out of an account that doesn't contain much money and spending the next few days wondering how much money you don't have has never fallen into my fun category. However, wearing high heels is still pretty fun. Especially when you’re only 5’4”.
All this to say, growing up hasn’t quite been the whirlwind of fun and adventure I thought it would be. Yes, there are moments when I’m perfectly content. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot in my 29 years of life. Yes, I have amazing family and friends in my life. Yes, I own a home. I just feel like there’s more out there. More to be discovered. More adventure to be had. And I’m ready. Because next year, I’ll be 30. And I can’t remember EVER pretending to be 30.
So this year, I want to stop living in the future and focus on embracing the moments that are thrown my way.
Who knows. Maybe this will be the year that I meet my Joey McIntyre.
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