Dancing With the Stars Recap!

I’ve been super excited about this season since it was announced. Mostly because the only one I didn’t know of was the soap star. I think part of the reason I love it so much, is that it takes the has beens and makes them hot again. Or at least for a minute or two. I was also interested in seeing Brooke Burke’s interview skills.

Before watching the show, my top picks were Evan Lysacek, Nicole Scherzinger, and Erin Andrews (but that is mainly so Maks doesn’t have an early exit). Evan clearly already has the ability to produce clean, straight lines with his skating…and Nicole already has dancing ability.

First off, I was a little confused about the new “greenroom.” That’s fine that you want to switch it up, but the new celebriquarium seemed to produce a more uptight group of contestants. I was a bigger fan when they could just chill on the couch…but I digress.

First off, Chad Ochocinco. He was actually better than I expected him to be. Who knew the dude was so skinny. I think he’ll be fairly entertaining to watch if he can stick around long enough (and I’m assuming he will). And I love that he’s dancing with Cheryl. Love her…hated her outfit.

Next up…Shannen Doherty. Of course, I kept thinking of ol’ Jim Walsh when she was talking about doing the show for her dad. She’s dancing with Mark, which will be her saving grace. She didn’t seem that great, but decent. Of course, I’m not usually a fan of the waltzes.

Erin and Maks. I was hoping for big things for them. Based on their interview pre-dance, did anyone else think they may be hooking up? Just give it time, it’ll happen. I thought she did a really good job, especially for the first week.

Jake the Bachelor, I will not accept your rose. Chelsie hasn’t been around long, but I really think she’s adorable and I’m a little annoyed she didn’t get a better partner. And by better, I mean…someone I actually care about. He actually did better than expected, but I could barely pay attention because of that horrible song pick. Yeah, yeah, I get it. You hand out roses. That’s what you do. But Kiss From a Rose is my absolute LEAST favorite song in the world. GAG.

Nicey Nash up next. She is hilarious, so I was expecting her to bring that with her. And she didn’t disappoint. I love that she told Louis that she didn’t want to lose any of her jiggly parts. Haha. She danced better than I was expecting. She definitely brought her personality to the dance floor. And what’s even better, she dedicated her dance to me. Or, ehh…to thick girls everywhere. I have a feeling she’ll stick around for a while.

Evan and Anna. I was actually expecting Evan to blow the other competition out of the water. It was somewhat disappointing. He looked a little awkward, but overall, I thought he did a good job. If he can master those turns, maybe he’ll be able to pull it off afterall.

Buzz. Where do I even start. He was absolutely adorable. But he can’t dance. He reminded me of someone’s grandpa having a good time with a bridesmaid at his granddaughter’s wedding. Cute. I mean, he is 80 years old. And to give him credit, he’s better than Cloris was. And of course, he gets props for trying to moonwalk.

Nicole and Derek. SOLID…just as expected. I hated that she had Kleenex strapped to her arms, but her dance alone made up for that. What was that I said about the waltzes? I changed my mind. I loved this one.

I’m only referring to Aiden from here on out as the soap guy. I loved how he said something about how everyone knows him from All My Children. Nope, sure don’t. Dancing with Edyta didn’t seem to help him any either. Looks like he may be the first to go. What in the world was Edyta wearing? Side note: I love that Edyta always wears legwarmers in rehersal. It’s like she’s hanging on to the 80s for dear life. And of course that makes my heart happy!

Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani. Just out of curiosity, who is watching all those kids? I wasn’t expecting much from her at all. I also wasn’t expecting that boob job. Clearly, she’s got lots of insecurities. I’m assuming that’s the side of her we’ll see throughout the show. Not a fan. Side Note: I still think Tony’s best pairing was with Sara Evans.

And last, but certainly not least. CJ. I mean, Pam Anderson. I don’t think I ever really noticed that Pam’s waist is smaller than one of my thighs. Again, I wasn’t expecting much. I was thinking that she’d be on the Holly Madison level, but she proved that she may be able to hold her own. At least for a few more weeks.

A quick recap:
There were lots of rhinestones.
Brooke’s hosting skills are already better than Samantha’s ever were.
Len seemed to be incredibly grumpy last night.
Bruno was easily excitable.
Maks had Erin pinching Tom’s butt.
The celebriquarium was awkward. And I think Tom was required to say “celebriquarium” at least 12 times.

I think my friend Adam summed it up best by saying, “um...I think Dancing with the Stars substituted free boob jobs instead of spray tans this season. Just sayin'.”

This early, it’s hard to tell who’s got the skills to grab that mirrorball trophy. I’d definitely keep my top picks with Evan and Nicole. Clearly, Buzz should be the first to go, but the old person never gets voted off early. My guess is that soap guy will be the first to go.