Monday, September 26, 2005

the knowledge of a ten year old

sometime in the spring, i found a bookmark i made when i was little. i probably made it at some type of church function, or maybe even at school or something. but it makes me laugh. here's what it says.
i don't know what
i want to be when
i grow up.
some kids have
plans already.
sometimes i think
i want to be
an artist or doctor
or florist or musician
or missionary or scientist.
Lord, please help me
to trust your guideness.
please tell me little
by little the way to go.
let me find work that
will be right for me.
i don't like my
teacher, Lord.
she's mean and
doesn't explain
things right.
and she makes
me feel dumb.
she never gives
us a break.
i wish i had the one
i had last year.
she even made
school seem fun.
help me to get along
with this teacher, Lord.
it makes me laugh because the front part of it still seems like such a big worry for me. i'm guessing i was in fifth grade when i wrote this. i say that because of the whole teacher comment. at ten years old, i was worried about what i was going to be when i grew up. everyone else was already making plans, and i had no clue. at 24, sometimes i feel like i'm still sitting in that same boat. at ten, i knew that i couldn't make a decision based on what i wanted that would affect the rest of my life. i knew i had to pray about it and ask God for help. i knew then that i couldn't do it alone.
it's nice to have these little reminders. when i first found it, i had tucked it away in a bible i haven't been using much, so when i came across it last night it made me laugh again. i know that i have to rely on God and trust his "guideness" to get me through this (and yes, i know guideness isn't a word) and it will all work out in due time.


andrea said...

it's so funny how grown we think we are until we come across something like that and realize that we're in exactly the same spot we were years ago!

robyn said...

i love it... that's awesome... God's guideness is always great! i'm sure it was encouraging for you to find that... and i love the differences from the front to the back...

amy said...

i really didn't like my teacher that year. our whole class had a lot of problems with her. she was an old bitter woman who constanly put kids down. i remember her commenting that me and some other kids were doing our math homework too slow and that we must have been stupid. i'm sure it contributes to my lacking ability as far as math is concerned. she was an evil old woman...