i'm sitting here listening to my new gavin degraw cd. i'm loving him right this moment. the lights are off, except for my lamp and the flickering of my new candle that is making my room smell so good. such a peaceful, serene, mellow mood. and it's so great.
i got the sunday paper from dad today and came home to open it up to find some things to my surprise. first of all...best buy has their tivos on sale right now. almost $100 off the original price. i need to let "santa" know of this asap so he can get right on that. i also found out some interesting news about some old friends.
friend #1. becca. one of my best friends through high school. she was a crazy girl who was constantly in trouble. i'm pretty sure that her parents liked me because i was the "good influence" she needed at the time. but she was always sneaking out to meet boys, or skipping school, things i never would have been convinced to do. i'm not sure how we remained friends for so long, but we did. we actually stopped being friends sometime my senior year because she was all about trying to break me and my boyfriend up...or something along those lines. she started a whole lot of crap that eventually ended our friendship. she was doing drugs and hanging out with some pretty sketchy people and ended up pregnant about 4 years ago. the last i heard, she had the baby and was living with the father, but they were both on some pretty hard drugs. very sad situation. so i open up the "living" section of the paper, only to find a big picture of her and some guy with the information that she is apparently getting married at the end of the month.
friend #2. mellanie. i've known her since 2nd grade when she transferred to my school. we were good friends growing up and in 7th and 8th grade we were constantly together. she moved up the road from me, which made it even more convenient for us to hang out. through high school we saw each other constantly. we were both in marching band and we had some random classes together. our senior year, she started dating this guy her parents totally disapproved of. they didn't want her to date him because he was a black guy. but it was somewhat ironic, because her dad was white and her mom was filipino. anyway, she was miserable because she was in love with this guy she wasn't allowed to be with. she dated him secretly for the entire year. about a week before our graduation, she turned 18 and she moved in with me, my mom, and my brothers. that was probably the worst decision i've ever made in my life. because for the next two months after she moved in i was miserable. it was just a lot of little things. she was very inconsiderate of me and my mom. she would constantly have james over...which was a huge problem because she was sharing a room with me. she totally changed. everything suddenly became about her. she didn't want to do anything unless james was involved. i spent a lot of extra time away from the house. i worked a lot. i hung out with friends. i really don't remember because i've tried really hard to block it out of my memory, but i remember crying a lot to jonathan (my boyfriend at the time) and to my mom...who said it was my own fault i asked her to move in. it wasn't really that i asked her to move in. it was more of...i felt sorry for her and told her she could stay with us temporarily until she had enough money to move out. well...she worked constantly, but she spent her money on dumb stuff. she was constantly upsetting my mom and i both. and 2 months after she moved in, my mom asked her to leave. she didn't get the point. so a week after that, my mom asked her again. she still didn't leave. so my mom ended up packing up her stuff for her and putting it in the middle of the living room floor. mellanie comes home and asks what all the boxes are for. i think it was a big slap in the face for her. i wasn't there, and i'm glad that i wasn't. but after that, i never heard from her again. i never got a "thanks for letting me live with you...thanks for helping me out." i never heard anything else from her. it hurt my feelings a lot. i was mad because i felt taken advantage of. i was mad at the way she treated me. i was mad because of the way she treated my mom. a few months later, mellanie and james showed up at my work. i had that stomach churning feeling like when you see someone from your past who you could live without seeing again. i went in the back room because i was freaking out. my bosses knew about her and the situation, so she went up front and told them that we were getting ready to close or something. so i cleaned up and clocked out and when i walked outside they were standing out there. i wanted to throw up. she told me that she was pregnant and that james was going into the army. that was about 5 years ago. i've heard things about her since then...but that was the last time i saw her or talked to her. james and her moved to germany because that's where he was stationed. she had a little girl. when i was at western, my mom said she actually brought her little girl over for my mom to see. i think it might of been her weird way of saying she was sorry. i heard that she had 3 other kids and eventually moved back here because he was cheating on her with the babysitter. but that's all just hearsay...not sure if it's all actually true. but in the newspaper today under the divorce section, james and mellanie, married one year. hmm. now i thought they got married a lot longer than that...but i guess i wasn't really around to know. and if i was, i wouldn't have really cared anyway.
there are very few people who i was friends with in high school who don't fit into a category somewhat similar to these. most of them fit into the married, divorced, single with kids, or on drugs categories. so is it any wonder i don't have friends in this awful town?