there's an old filing cabinet that sits in the corner of my room. i wasn't really sure what was actually in it, because it had been years since i had even opened it. when i was in high school, i decorated it with stickers until it was fully covered. every inch of the cabinet...covered in a massive amount of stickers. so in the midst of cleaning my room, i decided to venture into the unknown cabinet. so many high school memories, filed away neatly as if they were waiting for me to rediscover them. i found a lot of papers i'd written throughout high school, i found a geneology paper and graph i'd done for sociology, i found some old band programs and newpaper clippings, and i found my favorite discovery...a poety book i'd make for an advanced english class i took my junior year. now...that was discovery. to just go back in time and remember what i was thinking when i wrote them, and who they were about. i used to write so much. it was the greatest way i knew to truly let my feelings out. my pen and my journal were two of my greatest friends. now i'm not by any means saying my writing was amazing, but it was pure and personal...my way to escape from reality, from the things that truly existed, a way for me to imagine so much more. i'm going to post a few, just because it's funny and it makes me smile.
i can see the beam of light at the dark end of the tunnel
struggling to get closer to it, i climb.
i climb until i pass the bright lights i could once see.
i continue climbing until i reach the moon.
it's radiant glow reflecting off your shining complexion.
in your gleaming eyes i can see the twinkle of a shooting star
leaving its trail of yellow behind it as it falls, waiting to be wished on.
i make my wish to keep you with me always
to hold you close as we sit by the fire and it's burning flames warm us.
i awake to the flickering of my nightlight.
the same light that had once given me security as a child.
for i am one who has always been afraid of total darkness.
trying to forget
i want to forget, but my heart won't allow it.
every time i see him, the pain and tears return.
i think about the times we spent together.
how he ran his fingers through my hari.
the way his hand touched my face.
how he gave me feelings of hope and determination.
now those feelings are crushed into pieces of his past,
but locked into my memory forever.