My morning looked something like this:
Woke up late. Rushed to get ready. Left the house at 7:45 for my 8:00 doctor's appointment for my second round of hepatitis shots that was 20 minutes away. Didn't consider early morning traffic on that side of town. Had an incredibly bad case of road rage. Got to the appointment 5 minutes late only to discover that my appointment was actually scheduled for 8am on THURSDAY. It was the doctor's day off, so there was no way of getting in anyway.
At one point, I even thought...okay. Not a big deal. Seriously, if this is the worst thing that happens to me today, I'm doing okay.
DEEP BREATH. Back in the car. Battled traffic to work. Stopped to get a venti latte. Turned the radio up and screamed along to Cee-lo.
But throughout the day, small things kept creeping up and stealing my joy. Over and over. And over and over. And to be honest, I let them. Every single time.
By 4:30, I was on my fourth breakdown. And again, I started thinking about gaining perspective. So I came home, took a shower, ate dinner, and began to think about my trip to Africa. The fundraising has been a source of stress. Mostly because I let it be. I freak out that I don't have all of my money raised. I worry that it won't come in. But I know that God is totally in control. And I know this because every time I start to freak out, He reassures me. He does it in ways that make me know that I need to let it go and have faith that He's got it covered. He's shown me over and over the kindness of people I would least expect it from. Money showing up in ways I'd never expect. Messages from people I barely know telling me that they are praying for me or that they want to contribute. And as small as those things may seem, they're HUGE! Because they always come at the times when I need it the most.
Today, I just needed a little perspective. So as the rain poured outside, I started googling some of the places we would be visiting. It gave me chills when I looked up Kibera slum on google earth and could see what it looked like on the map from miles in the air. The individuals that live there deal with so much more on a daily basis than I could ever imagine. I remembered reading something on my friend Rhonda's blog (She's the one who invited me along for this wonderful journey) from her first trip to Nairobi. So I went back to find it again. And it's definitely a small dose of the perspective needed today. The following was posted on her blog from the book "Hope in the Dark" which is a picture and storybook about a the author's trip to Africa.
" If you want to know the pulse and strength of Africa, spend a day with the women of a village. In the midst of deep suffering, domestic abuse, societal and poverty constraints, the women are the stability of Africa. They will carry the buckets upon their heads, touch the wounds of the sick, accept the burdens of helping the village survive - and all the while, they will be singing praises to God. "
And again, I was given a little perspective and reminded how privileged I am to get this opportunity to embark on this adventure with 11 others to Kenya this summer!