Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Control Freak, Party of One

I had a pretty crazy week last week.  I came home every night emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted.  I felt like I had to peel myself out of bed every morning.  I needed a break.  So I had all day Saturday to myself.  I had a checklist that was a mile long.  Needless to say, I only got half the items completed.  So Sunday, I woke up ready to go.  Somewhere between waking up at 8am and going to church at 11:30, I fell asleep.

I had lunch plans with a friend after church.  When I went to meet up with her she said, "You should have been at church today. Pete talked about being a control freak."


But it's true.  I'm a control freak.  I have a hard time relinquishing control over almost every area in my life.

And lately, it's something that I'm definitely having to surrender every day.  Over and over and over again.

I did go online to listen to the sermon (you can find it here) because the previous four weeks had been amazing.

As my trip to Africa gets closer and closer, I get more and more anxious about raising support.  I feel myself start to question whether or not I'll be able to raise enough money.  I start to think that maybe it's too much money.  I start to doubt that I can do it.

And then, I surrender.  And I remember that God is a million times bigger than that.  That he's capable of so much more than $3500.  And the thing with surrendering is that it's not usually something that goes away the first time you give it up.  It's usually something that you have to continuously hand over to God.  To trust that he is so much bigger than what you're giving him credit for.

One of my favorite quotes through this "More" series has been:

"The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of that opportunity."

How true.

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