Last night, I got home and was going to clean the house. I really needed to vacuum the bedrooms and was going to start in my bathroom and work my way out through my closet, bedroom, and then the guest bedroom. I had it all planned out. And in a matter of about ten minutes, I’d have it knocked out. I had gotten as far as the closet before I encountered any problems. I had the hose out and was going along the baseboards when I came across a sock. Then, I accidentally vacuumed it up. I have a bagless vacuum with a HEPA filter, so I checked the clear part that holds all the yucky stuff and didn’t see the sock. The hose wasn’t sucking like it had been and the sock wasn’t making its way to the holding container thingy. I had no clue what to do. So, I turned my vacuum off, and went to check the score of the Memphis game. About that time, my mother called. I decided to get her advice on removing a sock from a vacuum. If there’s any expert out there, I’m sure it’s a mom.
She asked if there was a way to take it apart and get the sock out. Sure, sounds easy enough. But I also know myself well enough to know that if I took it apart, I might as well have gone out and bought a new vacuum cleaner right then. But, with my mom’s plastered confidence in her smartest daughter, I thought I’d at least give it a try. “I can totally do this!” I was trying to psych myself up. I walked to the hall closet and grabbed my bag of tools (not that I know that to do with most of them) and pulled out a Phillips head screwdriver. I was successfully able to take three screws out of a small panel off the back. But when I tried to pull it off, it wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t figure out how to get it off. But the end of the hose came off, but it was still connected by the piece that wouldn’t come off.
At this point, I was still on the phone with my mom. I was trying to explain the process, but I don’t think I was very successful. I knew I needed something to stick down the hose to push the sock out, but I didn’t know what. That’s when my mom suggested using a broom handle.
Ohh…sounds perfect. So I hung up the phone and ran to the kitchen to grab my dust broom/mop. I went back to the closet and quickly shoved it down the hose. I kept shoving and the sock wasn’t coming out the other end. What in the world? Why did this have to be so difficult? I seemed like a simple enough trick. You just put something in there and force the sock out of hiding. But it wasn’t working. So I gave up again and went back to check the score of the game again (and of course update my status about a sock being stuck in my vacuum).
I decided I’d give it another try. This time, I was determined to make it work. I mean, I had a house to clean! Nothing. So I was going to take the broom out, but it wouldn’t budge. I was standing there, one foot on the vacuum hose, the other on the floor and I was pulling hard. It wouldn’t move. At that point, all I could do was laugh at myself. So I tried one more time and the next thing I know, I’m holding my broom in one hand and stumbling into my bathroom doorway. I pulled the broom out of the hose…well…half of it. I broke the broom handle off inside the hose. I scrunched up the hose accordion style so I could grab the rest of the broom handle, but it was about five inches short of reaching the end of the hose. I was at loss for words. So I abandoned the vacuum and went and picked up my phone.
“So, now I not only have a sock stuck in my vacuum cleaner hose, but I also have a broom handle stuck in there.”
My mom erupts with laughter. “What?”
“You heard me. I told you this would end badly!”
“Who else would this happen to? No one else but you!”