going back home

whoever said going back home and reliving old memories definitely didn't live where i'm from. the longer i'm away, the harder it is to come home. i definitely don't feel much sense of nostalgia around this town. yes, i have plenty of great memories from growing up here. but there is no way to go back in time and relive them. they're stuck in the past...memories in your brain. just there to think about and remember...like pictures stuck on the pages of your brain...just there to look at and admire. sometimes, even as much as you want to, you can't climb into the page and into the picture like they do in cartoons. you can't rewind your life and relive even a day or a moment. bringing up the past and being able to remember single important moments out of our lives is so cool. wow. memory. what a neat thing God created for us to learn and store so many vivid pictures in our brain.
Great memories that i have and often think about...

when i was younger: the house i lived in growing up. blue carpet. sandy, my old dog (the greatest dog in the world). going to the store and picking out sheba,my cat. going to the movies with my cousin ben, and my aunt karen. the store my family owned. the day my brother, nathan, was born (and i took him to show and tell when i was in kindergarten). the day my brother, corey, was born. playing softball for the first time. my childhood friends...chris and stephanie who lived next door...we'd play all day long. atari and all the amazing games that came with it, especially pac-man and pitfall.

middle school: the most awkward years of my life. big hair, braces, and glasses...need i say more? richard, the gross boy who ruined valentines day forever for me. going to my first real dance and being nervous about it. cheerleading captian (yes...this is true). being in a class with 16 people. meeting muriel, one of my best friends from 7-high school. having the biggest crushes on john and jeff. getting caught passing notes and having them xeroxed and sent home for my mom to sign for the principal. getting in trouble for spilling a cup of mrs. arnold's coffee into her tote bag that had all the 8th grade term papers in it. whoopsies. getting really bad grades in conduct because i talked too much, but my actual grades were good (this didn't make mom happy). voted 8th grade "most talkative" and "most school spirit." 8th grade class trip to chicago.

high school: marching band, band camp, overnight trips, colorguard. bands of america grand national champions 1997. state champs AAA 1995, 96, 98. colorguard captain. jonathan. driving around town. going with jonathan, davis and miranda to the haunted house. hanging out with lesly, jonathan, jon, mark, and marion. late night swimming in lesly's pool. the grand am...my first car. first kiss. watching movies with jonathan, jon and becca. being in the play juvie. broadcasting class (where my passion first began). leilani. prom. graduation.

college and now: starting at ecc and hating every minute. meeting and hanging out with ryan, against brooke's warning. brooke and i meeting lee and shaun and going ice skating. campbellsville and the strip. lots of parties that are not good memories. moving in to mccormack with brooke. visiting john and jeff in the dorms. going to the cookout at the bsu that rekindled my love and passion for christ. hanging out with ben...late night movies and pizza. laughing with friends, especially friends i met while i was an RA at mccormack. staying up late, ordering pizza and watching movies with jill, julie, rachel, angela, ashley and ashley and my other "girls." late nights going to poland to hang out with crystal, maryem, emily, brooke h., amanda, and jenny...making random videos, taking surveys and laughing til we cried. making phone calls to brandon (that whole situation eventually let to marriage). moving in with jill and sara into 507 WP with julie as our live in 5th roomie. skipping lots of classes. staying up late with julie trying to find old videos on ebay. falling down the bleachers at big red's roar and tearing my miniscus...being taken to the hospital while bsuers i didn't know thew a party at my house. late night talks with ashley hanging out in my room. taking julie to the hospital because sara stabbed her in the air with tweezers. dawson's creek night. moving in the house with ashley. working at polo, hating every minute...but meeting some of the most awesome people ever..shea, andrea, stephanie. working camp...all 3 years.

yeah, so those are just some of the memories i have...there's lots more shoved in the crevices of my brian. i guess i've just been thinking a lot about the way things used to be. things change and i'm so glad. because being here this weekend...for the festival is not the greatest thing for me. going when i was a kid was the greatest thing ever. i'd get up early and watch the parade with my parents, then go home, grab some lunch and head out to the park. we'd find a nice spot to set up camp for the day, usually by the birdhouse and the barn. then i was free to roam the park. i'd meet up with my friends and we'd ride the trolley searching for other people we knew...when we were older, we'd search for boys. cute ones. then we'd head back to the picnic area and watch some of the balloon race...and when that got boring, we'd walk around and go to the booths...or just walk the length of the park. then once it got dark came the best part...fireworks. yes...i love them soooo much!
it's been 5 years since i've been. i got up early and went to the parade. so much fun to watch the local marching bands and see the floats and people. not so much fun running into people i haven't seen in years wondering what i've been up to. i left the parade early to take my dad home. i didn't think he'd be up for staying for the whole thing..and i was right. later, my mom and i went out to the park. they've changed a lot since the last time i was there...which was 5 years ago. things were so different and it seemed so much smaller. i'm not sure if it was my imagination or if it really was. i have a tendency to remember things being monumental when i was little, but they really weren't that great to begin with. the last time i was there was when i met up with brooke. it was right after graduaion. we'd both just started ecc and we've pretty much been inseperable every since then. crazy times. this is an incredibly long and ridiculous post. probably the most random one i've ever written.