My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a VERY. BAD. DAY.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. As crazy as it sounds, I actually don't even realize it until I start getting extereme headaches that border on migraines and I can feel the stress in my neck. Yesterday was one of those days. It seemed like nothing was going right. I was hurting people's feelings (not on purpose!). There wasn't enough time in the day. It was just one thing after the next. All day long.

There were several things that almost led to tears.

I grabbed my computer bag out of the front seat of my car only to get my bad thumb caught in the strap. It hurt. BAD. I had tears in my eyes. I was afraid to pull back the band-aid and look. I'll spare you the details, but it's definitely going to add to the healing process.

I thought retail therapy would help. I finally went through my closet several weeks ago and got rid of EVERYTHING that gets on my nerves when I wear it. It actually wiped my closet clean. Now that winter is lingering, it doesn't seem like it was the brightest decision I've ever made, but that's a whole different story. I couldn't find anything I liked at the first three stores I went in. So, I decided to venture to the mall.

That's when real tragedy struck.

I was walking into the mall when my phone flew out of my hand and landed about a foot in front of me on the sidewalk. Not sure exactly what happened because it all happened fairly quickly. What I do know is that it didn't seem to hit the ground that hard, but when I picked it up, the glass was shattered. Not just a crack or two. More like 72.

I don't even want to admit all the relationship mishaps me and my iphone have been through. And I don't want to admit how many I've had in my possesion. But this isn't the first run-in I've had. If you're interested, you can read about the time my iphone jumed in the toilet here. Or how I couldn't live without it here, here, or here.

The point is, I know it's a "thing" and I shouldn't be as attached to it as I am. But the fact of the matter is, I am. I love it with every fiber of my being, but I do know that we cannot continue this relationship like this. It's just not healthy!

Conversations That Stick With You

Today I had the opportunity to have a conversation with a friend who lost his 18 year old brother just a few short weeks ago.

When I first found out, I wanted to do something, but I felt like I didn't have anything to offer. I've lost a family member. It's incredibly hard. And there's not much anyone can say to you that makes you feel better. To be completely honest, you don't really remember much of what anyone says during that time. I mean, you can say, "I'm sorry." but that's about all. In moments like that, nothing else really seems to matter.

I remember sitting down with this friend at a coffee shop several weeks after my dad died in 2006. I remember telling him this story from the funeral.

I was sitting next to my brothers with huge tears in my eyes and Kleenex stuffed in my hand. This horrible version of On Eagles Wings started playing. It had always been one of my dad's favorites. But this version was unbearable. It was like nails scraping against a chalkboard. My brothers and I started laughing...uncontrollably. I remember someone from the row behind us reaching up and putting their hand on my brother's back because they thought he was upset. We just sat there, laughing through tears. It felt so irreverant, but so appropriate all at the same time. My dad always hated when people who couldn't really sing would canter at church. I remember growing up, I always knew when a snide remark was coming based on the first few words of a song. And there we were at his own funeral listening to this awful rendition of one of his favorite songs. All we could do was laugh.

After I told my friend the story, he just looked at me through sips of his coffee, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, that's life. Sometimes it's pretty funny."

I have no idea why I remember that conversation, but it's one of the few from that time that I actually remember very vividly.

In the card I send him a few weeks back, I reminded my friend of that conversation and what he said to me and how it has stuck with me all these years. I told him that through the pain, I was praying that him and his family could remember the good times and remember to laugh...because sometimes, life is funny.

We talked today for a while about life and death and taking it all for granted. But through it all, I love that it was his own words that spoke to him more than anything else.

It's also funny that tonight, before I started this entry, I went back and read some of my posts from that time in my life (there aren't many because it was such a private time, I mostly used my journal). I found this excerpt from a prayer on the night my father died (To read the entire post, click here. ):

"Remind me to laugh at the little things.

Allow me to appreciate and savor the good times."

Looking back on it, it makes me so thankful that God answered that prayer. Today, I'm so thankful for love and laughter and those conversations that stick with you.

I LOVE the Olympics!

Last night, we had an Olympic party during the opening ceremonies. It was soooo much fun to kickoff the Olympics!


I'll admit that I'm actually a bigger fan of the Summer Olympics, but I'm not a huge winter fan in general, so it only makes sense. :)


I absolutely love figure skating. It's also super fun to watch speed skating...such a rush. I'm not so sure how I feel about the luge right now.

We love the Olympics!

GO USA!!

Team USA All The Way!

Me and DJ with our Olympic cookies

What's your favorite event?

What a Weekend...

So, I can't type much...and the reason for that will come soon enough.

This weekend I went to Gatlinburg with the youth. It was a very exhausting trip. We rolled back into town about 5 pm. Kickoff for the Super Bowl was at 5:30.

I was heading over to a friends house, fresh guacamole in tow. I was having some difficulty with the avacados because they weren't quite ripe enough. So I decided to take the "almost ready" guac anyway and just use her food processor when I got there.

I'd literally been there for five minutes. Okay, maybe seven. I grabbed a knife and cut the lime in half. I went to cut along the inside of the lime when something went really wrong. I'm not positive of exactly what happened, but I'll tell you this...Her knives are WAY sharper than mine. And I bled A LOT.

I spent all of halftime debating whether or not it was bad enough for stitches. We quickly realized there were no urgent care facilities open and I would have to go to the ER. Then I remembered that my last tetnus shot was probably when I was a sophomore in high school.

So, off to the ER we went...

Upon arriving, the doctor confirmed that I, in fact, need stitches. That was actually a relief that I'd made the right decision. An hour and ten minutes later, I was signing my release papers with three blue stitches in my thumb.

It doesn't really hurt, it's just kind of difficult to do anything.

I'm sure there will be more to tell as the days go on...

Hives Are For The Bees

Over the weekend, my sniffles and head congestion turned into a full blown upper respiratory infection. I fell asleep on the couch Sunday around 6pm while watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I woke up to some religious late night show around midnight and went to bed...and stayed in bed...until 9am...when I woke up and called into work. Then, I went back to bed. Until 2 pm. I woke up and called the doctor and was able to get in that afternoon. I was able to get some drugs and head back home for some Gilmore Girls on the couch.

Tuesday night, I went to scratch my neck and noticed there was a welt. I went to look at it in the mirror and realized there were several on my neck in different areas. I pulled the collar of my shirt down and it looked like I was sunburnt with tiny red spots all over my stomach, chest, and arms. I had hives AND a rash. I freaked out and got the little pamphlet thingy that came with my prescription. In uppercase letters and all it's glory, "AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THIS MEDICINE is unlikely, but seek immediate medical attention if it occurs. Symptoms of an allergic reaction include rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; or swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue."

On top of that, I thought it would be a great idea to google it.
NOT
A
GOOD
IDEA
It freaked me out. Then I was afraid to go to bed. I was afraid my throat was going to close up and I'd stop breathing in my sleep.

Needless to say, I made it throught the night and called the doctor first thing when I woke up. An hour later, after being stuck in a teeny tiny room with the most annoying ticking clock ever, it was official.

I'm allergic to penicillin.

UGH. Now I have to fill it out on all that dang paperwork.

Some Random Things I LOVE

I heart this necklace. I want one.

I'm going to try to make one of these. From Melly and Me.

I also am in love with this. As well as some others on plantsandanimal's site on etsy.

And how adorable is this?

A Very Cool Opportunity

I saw a retweet about this post earlier and it definitely peaked my interest. So, I went to Michael Hyatt's blog to see what it was all about. The premise is that if you have a blog and you like to read, Thomas Nelson will provide you with a free copy of a book in exchange for a 200 word review on your blog and on a public site (like Amazon).

I thought I'd sign up and give it a try. I mean, I love to read! what do I have to lose? I'm definitely excited about it.

I've chosen this book as my first:

Buried Alive The True Story of Kidnapping, Captivity, and a Dramatic Rescue (NelsonFree)
By Roy Hallums

I Survived the Snowpocalypse!

The craziest thing happened today! A blizzard!

Okay, not really at all. But...that's what everyone was expecting. Or that's what it seems like everyone was expecting.

Well, maybe not everyone.

It is Nashville afterall.

I was laying in bed this morning. The alarm had just gone off and I hit snooze as usual. Then, my cell phone, which was laying in the bed beside me started ringing. It was the automated phone call to say that the office was closed due to inclement weather. I ran to the window and looked out and there was nothing on the ground.

Did I hear the message right?

I logged on and checked my email. There was an email stating that the office was closed. I didn't understand. I was so confused. And at 6am, not a whole lot makes sense, so I went back to bed, expecting the snow to fall anyway. I woke up at 9 and checked the window again. No snow. At this point, I was really confused about what inclement weather we were having.

Around noon, as I was heading out to meet some friends for lunch, I took this picture.

It's what I like to call the Snowpocalypse! I mean, look at all that SNOW!! I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the hype Nashville makes about snow and ice. It definitely wasn't a big deal where I grew up!

Happy New Year!!

I had a fairly low-key new year's eve. We opted for a quiet night in that turned into photo booth mania. Here are a few of my favorite pictures.

Resolutions?

In 2010, I’d like to:

Run at least three 5ks this year (My first one is scheduled for January 23)
Eat healthier
Read at least 10 books
Take at least one real vacation – preferably a trip to somewhere super fun
Blog more
Love More
Pray More
Worry less
Complain Less
Stress Less

AT's Best Of 2009 List

It’s hard to believe it’s that time of the year…again. New Year’s Eve. Time to recap 2009.

Best Movies:
1. 500 Days of Summer
2. The Proposal
3. The Hangover
4. He’s Just Not That Into You
5. This Is It
6. The Blind Side

Best New TV Show:
Glee

Best Books:
1. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
3. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

Best Concerts:
1. New Kids on the Block!!!!!!
2. Coldplay
3. Death Cab For Cutie
4. Ben Folds
5. Dave Matthews
6. Butch Walker


Memorable Moments
1. Firecracker 5k (July 4th) – My first 5k!
2. Buying my Yaris!
3. Trip to Wheelwright with Cross Point
4. Panama City Beach Vacation with Emily
5. Sara and Ben’s Wedding
6. Camping at Henry Horton

Best Food:
1. Martin’s Barbeque
2. Chuy’s

Best Songs to Dance To:
1. Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus
2. My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson
3. So What - Pink
4. Boom Boom Pow – The Black Eyed Peas
5. Womanizer – Britney Spears
6. Forever – Drake
7. Knock You Down – Keri Hilson, Kanye West, Ne-Yo
8. Meet Me Halfway – The Black Eyed Peas
9. Evacuate the Dance Floor – Cascada
10. Just Dance – Lady GaGa

Best Albums
1. Glee: The Music Volume 1 & 2
2. John Mayer – Battle Studies
3. The Black Eyed Peas – The E.N.D. (The Energy Never Dies)
4. Fearless - Taylor Swift
5. The Fray – The Fray


A Moment in Time I’ll Always Remember:
Hearing about the death of Michael Jackson

A Brief Vacation

Vacations are never long enough…especially during the holidays.

I did have a great time in Kentucky with my family! I miss them a whole big bunch. I can't wait to have a little more time at Christmas to just hang out and not do much!

Wheelwright

This weekend I had an opportunity to serve in Wheelwright, KY with Cross Point. Over the last few years I’ve heard a lot about these Wheelwright trips. Our church takes several groups up throughout the year to deliver school supplies, clothing, gifts, and Christmas presents. The annual Christmas party is usually the larger trip. This year, we took close to 100 volunteers, one 26’ U-Haul and two smaller trailers full of stuff, over 30 dozen cookies, and a massive amount of chili.

The primary goal of this trip was to provide a Christmas party for the community and presents to a group of people who would otherwise be unable to have gifts on Christmas morning. I believe Ryan summed it up best when he said, “We are providing hope to a community of people who are void of hope.”

I volunteered to take candid shots during the trip. At first, I wasn’t sure how taking pictures was doing anything to really “further the kingdom.” I got back to work Monday and went out with a friend for lunch. We were talking about the trip, and I mentioned feeling inadequate and that what I did didn’t matter…he responded with “Amy, people that see those pictures see what it’s really like there and then they’ll want to make a difference whether that’s by sending something, volunteering themselves, or praying for them. That’s bigger than anything else.”

Wow.

Thankful for...

Today, I’m thankful for:

Family
Friends
A job
A place to live

Food
Being able to pay my bills
Clothes
Warmth
The small things
A vacation

Fall Retreat

I started volunteering with the youth back in September. When I first started I only knew a handful of kids through previous trips, missions projects, and volunteer opportunities throughout the years. This past weekend was the annual fall retreat. I knew it would be a great weekend to truly get to know the hearts of some of these students and actually feel like a leader and not just some creepy older person lurking in the corner.

I have never entered into a weekend like that questioning whether or not God would show up…but it’s always amazing to have my expectations completely blown out of the water. One of our campus pastors was the speaker Friday and Saturday. You could look around the room and just see God working in these student’s lives as he spoke. I heard plenty of stories over the weekend about exactly how he was working, stories of strength and determination…stories of hurt and pain…stories of realization and hope.

It definitely took me back to my high school days. I’m incredibly thankful and appreciative to everyone who volunteered with our youth group. For the leaders who invested in me. I am most certain that if it weren’t for them, my life would have been very different. I can only hope that loving on these students, listening to their stories, sharing in their joy, hurting in their pain, and loving them unconditionally will make not only a difference in their life, but in mine as well.

I’m looking forward to the future of what it means to be involved in this student ministry!

5 Million Minus 1

Visit my friend Natalie and JT's blog 5 Million Minus 1 and help them raise money for the adoption process!

New Sewing Machine For Me!

I've been saying forever (and forever, I mean about 5 years) that I want to try to sell crafts as an extra income. I finally took a big step yesterday and bought a sewing machine. I'm excited! I can't wait to start practicing and get to the point where what I invision in my head can be duplicated. Stay tuned! And get ready, because soon...there may even be a website!

Um, I invented Post-Its

Last week’s Bible Study centered around Philippians 2:14-15.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

Last night, we got together for our weekly recap and discussion. I feel like every week of this study has applied directly to me. Dang. I complain A LOT! I often speak before I think (or think through it enough to not get me in trouble). And more times than not, it’s something negative coming out of my mouth. This has become very evident to me in recent weeks.

I have a co-worker who likes to call me “Miss Pessimist” or various similar names. I always correct him, “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” Either way you spin it, I’m definitely a complainer.

Last night, it seemed like we spent a fair portion of the evening trying to find a loophole in the scripture.
“But what if we’re venting?”
“It’s okay if you’re not talking about someone, right?”
“What if we don’t say it to someone else?”

It definitely says “Do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing…”
EVERYTHING?
EVERYTHING!

Somewhere along the line of the discussion last night, I came up with a brilliant idea. Every time I open my mouth and complain, I’m going to write down what it is I’m complaining about on a post-it note. Then I’m going to counterbalance it with a prayer written out at the bottom. Next week, we’ll gather with our post-it notes and be able to visually see how much we’ve complained and what we spend our time complaining about. I challenge you to follow along and do the same. I’m hoping that over the course of the week it makes us become conscious of the words that are coming out of our mouths, and in return will cause us to complain less.

Texting Without a Phone

The things I would have texted you over the last few days if I'd been able:

• Anyone want to go to dinner?
• Wait...why is Martha Plimpton on Grey's Anatomy?
• I'm at your house. Where are you?!
• Hope your last day at work is going great!
• The girls at the table next to me at Panera are talking about how they only wash their hair every four or five days. Gross!
• I can help out Sunday if you need me to.
• The Batman signal is circling outside my condo. Seriously.

Instead, none of these ever got sent. :(

I'm hoping to get a new phone tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. I think I can make it 28 more hours. I've already made it 4 days. That's huge! It's like living 4 days without being able to use my fingers.

So Out Of Touch With the World...

I still don't have a phone. And it's making me realize just how much I really rely on that little thing and how addicted to it I've become.

I took it to the Apple store and the guy who helped me immediately knew it was water damaged by the pink stickers on the inside. So, he set me up an apppointment for Monday at 7. I guess I'm going to have to pay the $200 to get a new one. Because at this point, it's clear that I can't live without one.

I feel so out of touch with the world! I know it sounds like the most ridiculous thing ever, but I feel so sad without it. It's hard to make plans, hard to know what everyone else is doing. I can't just leave the house and make plans as I go. How were we operating before cell phones. I mean, I know it was possible. But it seems so hard to fathom now.

The things I've been missing out on. Facebook. Twitter. Shazam. Phone calls for no random reason. Phone calls to find out what's going on. Phone calls to tell someone I'm on my way. Phone calls. The internet. IMDB. Text messaging. The internet. Email. Facebook. Twitter. The internet. Phone calls. Text messaging. Picture texts. The internet. Okay, I think you get it. I pretty much use that phone for everything. It's my life line.

I miss it!!

The 46th Hour...

I decided to wait 46 hrs before I tried to plug the phone in. Last night, I could see some moisture in the camera lens of the phone. So I know that there was moisture that got in it. I stopped at Home Depot and picked up a Damp Rid sachet and put that in the ziplock bag with it. I was hoping it would pull the moisture out a little better than the rice.

I plugged it in at work this afternoon. The apple logo came on. Then continued to reset itself for the next 15 minutes. NOT GOOD! Finally, it acted like it was going to charge and went to the main screen. It was moving very slow and the apps were taking forever to load. It finally went to the screen telling me to sync it with itunes. But since I was at work, I couldn't really do anything about it. So when I packed up for the day and unplugged it, I realized it wasn't holding the charge and if it wasn't plugged in, it wasn't doing anything.

I went home and plugged it into the wall and it still wouldn't hold a charge. It wouldn't do anything once plugged into the computer at all.

I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow when I take it to the Apple Store to see what my options are. :(

The Things That Happen to Me...

Wednesday night, something horrible happened. It truly was a nightmare. I went to the gym, even though I still wasn't feeling great. I went and hopped on the treadmill with my iphone and towel, just like I've been doing for three nights a week. After about 15 mins, my heart rate was way out of control because of the meds the doc put me on. So I decided I wasn't quite ready to be back at the gym, so I went back to the locker room. I laid my phone on the toilet paper holder while I was going to blow my nose. And my iphone fell off and INTO the toilet. I don't think I've moved that quick in a really long time. But in about .2 seconds I had grabbed it out, completely wrapped it in toilet paper, and removed every water droplet from it. I tried to hold back my tears as I left the gym.

I'd heard of people "saving" their phones by putting them in a ziplock bag of rice, or ziplock back of damp rid or silicon packets. So I immediately stuck it in a full bag of rice. It kept turning itself off and on and it was making me incredibly nervous. I googled and read about a million articles and blogs about people who'd dropped their phones in water puddles, or the lake, or the swimming pool, and it ended up working out in their favor. So there was some hope in my heart that everything would be okay.


24 hours without the phone. HARD. I'm trying to decide how long to wait. Everything I've read says 24-48 hrs or longer. How are you supposed to know?

YAY for the Yaris!

So, I've been thinking a lot about getting a new car over the last few months. I absolutely loved having an SUV, but it's not really all that necessary for my life. Only having two doors isn't the most convenient for adults trying to climb in the backseat. The gas mileage is eating away my bank account. Champ was getting old, having lots of issues that needed to be fixed that were going to cost a lot of money. She had 157,000 miles...and she's a FORD! That's a CHAMP! I really wasn't looking forward to a car payment, but once I started researching, I realized that I could be saving over $100 a month just on gas alone.

I'd been trying to decide exactly what I wanted. At first, I wasn't totally convinced that the Toyota Yaris was for me, but I quickly fell in love with it. It was cute and little and the gas mileage alone was enough to convince me if was a good idea...I mean 30-35 mpg is over twice what I'm getting now!

Saturday, I was in Kentucky visiting the family. My stepdad wanted to go look for cars. I wasn't planning on doing anything for at least another month or so, but everything just seemed to work out perfectly. I was pre-approved for a loan, I found the car I liked, we made an offer, they accepted!

This will be my fourth vehicle, but it's definitely the newest! It's a 2008...only a year old. I'm super excited!

I will try to post more pics soon...if it ever stops raining!

Thrive Update

Yesterday morning, I had the option of doing a body composition analysis to see what had changed in the 3+ weeks since we started the program. I have had a couple people ask me if I've lost weight in the last couple days, but I don't think there's really a noticable change yet. I gave in and did the BCA because curiosity got the best of me. I wasn't sure if it was going to be motivating or depressing.

My results were actually very surprising. I lost 4 lbs in body fat mass and gained 3 lbs of lean muscle mass! Overall, I've only lost 2 lbs. But I'll take it. I really am not concerned about a number on the scale. I just really want to slim down and tone up. I think we'll do results again during the halfway point. At least it's motivation enough to want to continue! I can't wait to see end results!

Unpublished Posts

I just realized I had a bunch of posts from the last month that hadn't been published. Whoopsie! Well, they're up now.

Storms Are Rolling In

We are sitting in our hotel watching season 1 of Dawson's Creek. We went out to the beach this morning and the storm clouds came rolling in. We're hoping it will stop soon so we can get back out there. There's something so relaxing about storms at the beach.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted!!

I am in love with the beach.

Thriving

This morning, I started a pilot workout program through work. I was selected as a group of about 12 of us to see how the program works and how it can be improved. For the next 9-10 weeks, I'll be working out with a personal trainer for three days a week doing strength training and doing cardio on my own three days a week. I'm really excited about having someone show me exercises and help hold me accountable.

We also have a nutritionist that is working with us to help us come up with a meal plan. I know that I have been eating horribly and I know it needs to change. But, I'm not excited about having to count my calories.

We'll see how it goes! Hopefully there will be good results!

Vacation...PLEASE!

I am in desperate need of a vacation!

Tonight, Emily and I booked a short vacation for the end of the month. I really don't think it's going to get here soon enough!

Panama City Beach, here we come!

First Day to First 5k

I. DID. IT!!!!

I ran my very first 5k.
I've been running most of it, but walking about 1/4-1/2 mile somewhere around the middle. During my training, it has been taking me about 46 minutes plus to run the whole 3.1 miles.

This morning, I had several things against me. It was early - the race started at 7am. It was hot! July is not the best time to run your first race!

But, my playlist kicked butt! I felt like I walked A LOT. But I think I just started out WAY too fast. By the time I hit mile one, I thought I was dying. So I realized really quick that I started off too fast. I didn't feel like I was recovering.

I finished in 43:56 which was much better than I was expecting.

It All Started With A Keychain...

My heart is broken a little. I don’t think the death of a celebrity has ever truly affected me or made me feel so weird. I wonder if this is how our parents felt about the death of Elvis. A true icon, a legend. Sure, he became increasingly weird over the past years, but I can’t imagine a world in music without MJ’s influence.

Michael Jackson is a part of some of my earliest childhood memories. When I was about three or four years old, I remember wanting a Thriller keychain from my parent’s store. My mom kept telling me that I didn’t even know who Michael Jackson was and she didn’t understood why I wanted it. But I insisted, and after much persistence, I finally was the proud owner of one amazing keychain. At such an early age, I knew that I needed it…and I knew that Michael Jackson was amazing. I kept up with it for a while, but somewhere along the way, it was lost in the shuffle of toys and playthings. About five years ago, I found a replacement in my mom’s garage. I was so excited, and my mail key has been on it ever since. Now, the Off The Wall keychain is not quite as amazing as the Thriller keychain, but it definitely makes me smile when I check the mail.

As a child, I was absolutely terrified of the Thriller video. I LOVED the dancing, and the song itself, but I always peeked through my squinted eyes when I would try to watch it with my cousins. Especially the part where he gets crazy eyes.

I loved the Pepsi commercials – The Choice of the New Generation. I had The Wizard of Oz taped from tv that I would watch over and over and during the commercial breaks were the series of MJ Pepsi commercials. I loved those commercials!

I remember putting on the Thriller album and dancing around the house.

I remember watching him moonwalk, thinking it really was a magic trick.

I remember the debut of the Black and White video and how cool it was when the persons face would mold into the next.

There’s just something about his videos that are still amazing to this day. They story behind them all is genius. Even as I sit here now and watch them, I’m truly amazed. I seriously think I could watch them all night long, or as long as they keep playing them.

I will remember Michael Jackson as the person he was, not who he became. As a truly great artist. The King of Pop. The inventor of the moonwalk. Not for the media circus that surrounded him.

Oh MJ, Thanks for the memories! If you need me, you can find me in my office tomorrow morning blasting Billie Jean, Thriller, Bad, Man in the Mirror, Black and White, PYT, and You Are Not Alone at full volume on my ipod.

I'm Going to Run a 5k!

Today I registered for my first 5k!

Tonight I had a breakthrough!

I'm on week 7 of the Couch to 5k program. Today's work out was supposed to be:
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then run 2.5 miles (or 25 minutes).

I am three weeks away from running my first 5k and I've been wondering what time I should aim for. So, instead of doing the 2.5 miles, I was scheduled to do, I decided to do 3.1 and see how long it would take me. I knew that there was no way I'd be able to run the whole thing. Last week, I was able to run a full mile without walking for the first time.

So tonight, I ran the first mile without walking, did intervals for the second mile, then walked ran 1/4 mile intervals for the last mile. It took me 50 minutes to complete the whole thing. That also includes my five minute warm up walk. I wasn't running very fast, and I walked a lot. So I felt like it was pretty decent. I still have three weeks to continue with the plan to get to a point where I should be able to run the whole 3.1.

I am very proud of myself for being able to get this far and for actually sticking with it!

Flooding Is Not My Friend (Part 2)

So, after realizing there was water in the hallway and trying to clean that up as best I could, there wasn't much else I could do besides go to sleep. Except I couldn't really do that either.

The next morning, I made a call to the HOA to see if it was something that was covered. We'd just gotten a new property manager a few days before. He was incredibly nice and made a call to a plumber. He called me back with the news that I needed to watch for Arthur and that he'd have a blonde ponytail and a goatee.

While he totally resembled Hulk Hogan, let me tell you that Arthur did not mess around. He came in and snaked the drain. He had to try several different things, but was able to unclog it in about 30 mins. He even made sure that the washer would drain water before he left. He told me it was definitely a plumbing issue (which was a relief since the HOA should cover it).

Soon after, the new property manager brought a dehumidifier that I've been running since. He took a look at the hallway. He said that they'd have to bring someone in to look at the floors and try to match it. But I'm guessing since I have to go through them that I'm going to have to wait it out.

So, I guess we'll see...

Flooding Is Not My Friend (Part 1)

Also known as: Why My Week Has Officially Sucked (Part 1)


I was able to take Friday off work last week, head to Kentucky for a couple days, and just relax a little. I had Coldplay tickets for Saturday and spent most of Sunday at the pool. It was absolutely a much needed weekend.

I was looking forward to walking into work Monday morning with a much lighter work load and a better attitude. That was definitely not the case.

As soon as I got to work my laptop wouldn't boot up. Apparently over the weekend, something in it knew that it had been worked to death and couldn't go on. So, they had to bring me a temporary computer to work from until they could get mine fixed. In the three hours it took to get a temp to me, I started making a mental list of everything I didn't back up on the network. That 13 page spreadsheet I spent hours updating. Those emails that were too big for my Outlook. The list went on and on. OUCH. We'll chalk that up to lessons learned the hard way.

Tuesday I had some things I wanted to take care of in the afternoon and got permission to leave work early. I was planning on heading out around 2ish. I was still at work at 3:30 putting out fires. I was finally able to leave only getting a call 20 mins later saying that something HAD to be taken care of. So much for a mental health break.

Tuesday night, I got home around 9:30. I was catching up with an old college roommate and I believe I was talking about how I've been in desperate need of a vacation when I heard gushing water. I walked to the kitchen to see water running toward me by the gallon. I turned off the washer and it immediately stopped...but by that time it had already engulfed the small utility room/pantry where the washer and dryer reside and was creeping through the kitchen towards the dining room. I grabbed some dish towels and threw them down so the water would be stopped before it reached the hardwood. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed all the towels that I could find in a matter of .2 seconds. I ran back to the kitchen and thew them all down. I'm not incredibly sure where the logic in that was. There were about seven towels, but about an inch of water had already taken up residence throughout the kitchen. At that point, I grabbed the garbage can and took the trash bag out and slung it into the other room. And at a pretty rapid pace started wringing wet towels out into the trash can. About an hour and a half later, my hand were completely rubbed raw, but I could finally see progress. I called a friend to come help move the fridge and stove to get underneath to make sure all the water was up. I left no spot unturned. My friend left and I finally finished cleaning up around midnight.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I figured out that the drain that drains the washer was clogged. So the washer still had a load of clothes and a full washing machine of water. I decided to wring the clothes out as best as I could and put them in the dryer. I started wringing things out and came across my bathing suit. I didn't want to dry it so I took it into hang in the guest bathroom so if it dripped, it would drip in the bathtub (instead of on my floor if I'd hung it on my drying rack). As soon as I stepped on the rug in the bathroom, I realized that all the water was defintely NOT cleaned up. It had seeped through the wall and into the front part of my guest bathroom.

I grabbed the sopping rug and threw it in the bathtub. I turned around to see what other damage there was.

I stepped out in the hallway.

Then, I cussed.

I could see water in the hallway...on the hardwood floor. I got down on all fours to examine it. As soon as I put pressure on it, water came popping up out of the seams between the boards.

Now let me just say that by this time, I was completely over this whole fiasco. I'd spent the last three hours wringing out beach towels full of water. I was exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.

I got the water up the best I could, but I could already tell that there was definite damage to the hardwood and a lot of it would have to be replaced.

I haven't been a homeowner for long. And being a condo owner, I wasn't incredibly sure what was covered and what wasn't. So I prayed. A LOT. That somehow it would all work out and I wouldn't have to pay for it.

I feel like the rest of the story deserves it's own blog. I'll give you a little tease of what you can look forward to:

Waking up to warped boards in the hallway

Arthur the plumber

Crying in my new bosses office

Trying to find a dehumidifier

Working it all out


Let's just say that this week has been ROUGH!

And this post only covers Monday and Tuesday.

Love Me A Good Playlist!

You know those days where your mood is completely reflected by a really awesome playlist? Today has been one of those days. I absolutely love making playlists. It combines music with making lists. Two things I love to do.

I have become fascinated with listening to Pandora at work lately. I absolutely love it. Now, it does take the fun out of creating my own list, but it gives me great options on just listening without thinking. I love it. Today I pulled it up and clicked on the Bon Jovi station.

Best. Playlist. Ever.


Knocking on Heaven’s Door – Guns N’ Roses
Hungry Like The Wolf – Duran Duran
Every Rose Has Its Thorn – Poison
Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar
Open Arms – Journey
Hotel California – The Eagles
Always – Bon Jovi
Working For the Weekend – Loverboy
Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty
More Than A Feeling – Boston
I Want To Know What Love Is – Foreigner
Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
Take It Easy – The Eagles
It’s My Life – Bon Jovi
Jump – Van Halen
We Will Rock You – Queen
Something To Believe In – Poison
I Hate Myself For Loving You – Joan Jett
What About Love – Heart
Just What I Needed – The Cars
I’ll Be Alright Without You – Journey
Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
Jack and Diane – John Mellencamp

I mean, seriously…could it get any better?

June 1 is behind me!

It’s a day I never thought would come fast enough, but in reality, it came too quickly. It was a MAJOR deadline in my world, as it was our submission date for an accreditation for my company. I felt like over the past couple months, I’d been gathering all the information and working hard to ensure everything was getting done. But as June 1 began getting closer and closer, I began working harder and feeling we were miles away from where we should be. It has been a very busy, very tiring, very frustrating last couple months. I stayed at work really late and worked several weekends. This past weekend, I worked late on Friday, worked about 7 hours on Saturday, and worked 13 hours on Sunday. Oh, I forgot to mention that I missed the very first amazing pool weather weekend and was cooped up inside. While working 50 hours a week plus weekends is definitely not fun, it’s something that had to be done. I feel like the last two or three weeks, I’ve been in complete survival mode. I knew that everything had to get done and there was no other choice (unless I wanted to start looking for a new job). I feel like I’ve been living in a complete whirlwind. I’ve been forgetting things (I remembered this morning that I’m going to see Coldplay on Saturday!), neglecting my condo, and neglecting my fridge (I swear it’s been over a month since I’ve been to the grocery). But there are plans to change that tonight! And on top of that, I was having really crazy dreams and not sleeping well.

But, now that it’s behind me, I can get motivated again. I can relax, hang out, enjoy the weather, fit my workout plans back into my schedule without feeling so rushed, and stop eating crap three meals a day.

I’m excited about summer. It’s my favorite time of year! I definitely think it’s safe to say that my world is a little brighter today! And my goodness, it’s about time!!

Bring on the vacation!

Reclaiming Your Innocence

I'd like to think that I'm more spontaneous than I am. I'd like to think that I love more with my heart and think less with my head. I'd like to think that I'm way less cynical than I actually am.

But truth be told, that's just not me. I'm a realist, a cynic, and somewhere along the line, I became somewhat jaded.

This isn't a recent discovery by any means, it's just something that has been blatently obvious in recent months.

I have friends who dive whole heartedly into new relationships. Who take chance after chance. Who repeatedly get their heart broken over and over...but they continue to put themselves out there. They don't mind doing it because they know that in order to reap the reward, they have to be able to.

While I, on the other hand, take three weeks to decide if I want to switch cell phone providers.

The sermon this weekend was about "reclaiming innocence." George spoke about how there are two ways we can approach life:
The way of innocence
The way of cynicism

My mom says I've been cynical my whole life. Is it something you can just change? Can you truly reclaim your childlike innocence without being naive?

A Much Needed Getaway

Do you ever have those days or weeks where you just need to get out of town. The kind where it doesn't really matter where you go, or what you do, but you just have to leave. That's the way I've been feeling for weeks. So desperate to just get out of here. Work has been crazy. Then I get home and just feel clostrophobic.

My mom has been in Kentucky for a couple weeks, so I decided to go visit. It was just what I needed. A getaway with no real agenda.

I got into town Friday night and my mom had ordered us Chinese from one of my favorite places. We just sat around and ate and talked. And it was delicious.

Saturday morning I woke up and decided I would do my run before it started raining. As soon as I got about 10 minutes from the house, the heavens opened up and started pouring buckets of rain down on me. I had no choice but to continue to run. Either way, I was soaked. I didn't do the whole thing, I just kind of made a loop and headed back to the house. I walked in the back door and my mom was standing in the kitchen. I had water dripping off of me like I'd just gotten out of a swimming pool. She looked up from the sink with a funny look on her face. I looked at her and said, "You didn't even think to come get me when it started pouring?" She started cracking up. "Well, I didn't really think about it."

While I was in the shower, she decided to be nice and fix me a bagel. I took one bite of it and almost gagged. It was absolutely disgusting. I quickly glanced over at the counter. Wait, that container wasn't cream cheese. It was SOUR CREAM! Yes, my mother put sour cream on my bagel.

Saturday after the bagel fiasco, my mom told me she had a surprise for me. And let me just say, it was the best surprise EVER. I'd told her I wanted a pedicure and it had been since last August when I last had one. So she made me an appointment and that was big surprise. And it was seriously the best pedi I've ever had!

Great weekend. Great for the soul! It was definitely what I needed.

And to top it off, I got to have coffee with one of my favorite people on my way back into town.

C25K Update

I just wanted to provide a little update on the couch to 5k workouts.

First off, something must be working, because today, two people asked if I have lost weight. SCORE! I've decided that for the rest of my life, I will be wearing the black pants (that are no longer hugging my hips the same as they were a few weeks ago) and this purple short sleeved shirt. So, if you see me day after day...get used to it. Because if it makes me look skinny, I'm wearing it forever.

Also, If I lose 6 more pounds, my wii fit will stop telling me that I'm overweight! And that will be a day to celebrate. Probably with a plate of brownies. Or something equally delicious.

I haven't been eating any differently at all, but for the past 3 weeks, I have been doing the C25k plan...hardcore.

Here's today's workout (Day 1 of Wk 4):

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

I was telling a friend that I was probably running a 20 minute mile. When he laughed at me and told me that a normal person walks a 16 minute mile, I decided I was probably running a 15 minute mile. :) The point is...I'm doing it. And that's a feat in itself.

Pat on the back for me. I rock!

Tweet Tweet

Last July, I spent a week in the Dominican Republic with about 25 other people. During that time, I heard Twitter mentioned about a bazillion times. My pastor LOOOOOVES Twitter. He talked about it so much that when I got back, I signed up for my own account. At first, I didn’t understand what was so great about it. I mean, it’s really just another status update. Why would people care to know “What are you doing?” It seems a bit narcissistic…but hey, isn’t blogging? :)

I didn’t start using it consistently at first. I found out that I could link my Twitter updates to my Facebook status which seemed like a much better way to manage my status instead of updating them in separate places. I started using Twitter mostly (and became addicted) when my cell phone wasn’t letting me access Facebook during one of the upgrades. For some reason, I couldn’t get on the Facebook mobile website at all. And that was no good. I had grown accustomed to letting the general public know my every move. I mean, who didn’t want to know that the man at the Kroger gas station had a creepy Chester mustache, or that I started a hoedown at the Dave Matthews concert, or that I sat next to a Kid Rock look-a-like at a festival in Louisville. I mean, anyone who knows me needs to know these things. Or so I like to think.

I love reading people's statuses. And not just my friends...people I don't even know. You can follow whatever or whoever you want on Twitter. Friends. Celebrities. Events. Bands. Authors. It's awesome. Some fun people I follow: Ashton Kutcher, Miley Cyrus, Seth Rogan, Oprah, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Paul Feig, Butch Walker, Joey McIntyre, Andy Davis, Dave Barnes, Mocha Club, The Ryman, Grand Ole Opry, Cross Point Community Church...

A lot of people have asked me recently why I do it. I can't give you many more reasons that what I've listed above. But I love it.

Follow me: amymthomas

You will love it too. I hope.

iphone envy...yes, me!

I've wanted an iphone since before they even came out. I've been trying to assess my situation with my current provider, but haven't been incredibly motivated to figure it all out financially. I am no longer under contract and my phone could use an upgrade. Now, of course, I don't need one, but I'm ready for a change. And recently, I've had several friends who have gotten iphones. I am suffering from iphone envy.

Tonight, I spent some time trying to figure out the difference in prices and what I'd be paying monthly. I would actually be saving money every month if I switched, but I'd have to pay for the phone up front.

My big dilemma comes from my beef with AT&T in the past. In 2003, I had their services and got completely screwed, so I'm a little hesitant to go back.

Oh...what to do!?!?

I DID IT! Well, kind of...

Dear Day One of Couch to 5k,

I kicked your butt!

Love,

Amy

I did it. Okay, well...the first day of the couch to 5k. But they say the first step is the hardest. I have my red pen ready...and day one is CHECKED OFF! 9 weeks to go!

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop...

Today has been one for the books.

Like it wasn’t bad enough that it was a Monday. OR that I couldn’t sleep at all last night because of that dang BBQ I decided to eat at 8:30 last night. OR the fact that I overslept by nearly an hour. OR that I really have many clean clothes options to choose from. OR that the coffee at work tastes like dirt and I didn’t have time to make my own. OR that stopping to get coffee wasn't even an option because of how late I really was.

But to make matters worse, once I finally got to work…uncaffeinated, tired, and cold. My day continued to bring disappointment.


10 minutes after arriving, I was finally able to get my stupid computer to cooperate. After logging in, frustrated and rushed, I clicked through emails that were waiting from me. One from the boss, one from a co-worker, one corporate announcement, one from one of our accreditation agencies. Wait a minute. There was no reason we should be hearing from them right now. WHAT?! THEY WANT TO COME AND DO AN AUDIT?! Well, actually, an “onsite review.” But it means the same thing. I sat staring at the screen, then I threw up a little in my mouth. Need. Coffee. Now. I walked to my boss’ office. Nowhere to be found. Um…I needed someone. Anyone. I wanted to burst into tears. It took every muscle in my body to hold the tears back. For the next 10 hours, it seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong did.

How many shoes are there left to drop? I mean, I only have two feet.

We Will See How This Goes...

I started a journey over the past week. One I wasn't really excited about starting, but I knew it was something I needed to do. I'm not quite sure where I'll end up...or how long it will take me to get there.

It had been four months since I'd been to the gym. That's a long dang time. And I was able to pull myself out of bed on Saturday morning to start my journey. But surprisingly, it wasn't painful. I met a friend, hopped on an elliptical and went to town. Of course, I'm sure it helped that Rookie of the Year was on tv and it's one I could probably quote most of the movie from watching it every day as a kid. But I felt good afterwards. I felt like it was 11 am on a Saturday and I'd already accomplished more than was on my to do list.

Sunday afternoon, I found myself back at the gym on the same elliptical watching The Goonies with my friend on the machine next to me. And Monday, I was back. At this point, I felt like a regular!

By Tuesday after work, I was actually looking forward to getting to the Y. Now, I'll admit that I was pretty excited when I walked into the cardio theater to find one of the best movies of all time playing...TOP GUN! Now if I hadn't had plans, I might have walked 21 miles by the end of the movie, but I settled for the 30 mins I did get to enjoy.

There's a lot of people encouraging me to try the couch to 5k program. I've never been much of a runner at all. But I'm contemplating giving it a try. I'm hoping to continue a few more workouts, then maybe I'll be ready to jump into it. I've even heard there's a podcast that you can download so you know when to run or walk...so I'm thinking maybe I'll check it out. We'll see what happens!

Any runners who can offer advice? What would go on your workout playlist?

Hanging Out With the Homeless

Monday night I had the opportunity to participate in a homeless outreach event. A friend from work was leading it that particular night and invited me. Some of his friends started it by just wanting to provide meals to some of the homeless community in downtown Nashville. Because of its success, it has sense become a weekly event. They get together on Monday nights to pull their money together to make meals and take them downtown.

It was kind of cold on Sunday night and I found myself kind of dreading it. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks…I realized that I was complaining about it being cold outside, but they’re the ones living outside, trying to find warmth. I have the ability to put on extra layers of clothing, and wrap up in my scarf and gloves. I felt like a complete jerk! So, I changed my attitude and by Monday afternoon, I was actually looking forward to going to hang out with the homeless.

I left work a little early and met my friend at the store. We picked up 40 hot dogs, buns, chips, and water. Then we headed over to one of his friend’s house to cook and pack everything up into little brown bag dinners. Each bag had a hot dog wrapped in aluminum foil to keep it warm, a bag of chips, a bottle of water or soda, a banana or an orange, and some type of dessert. We also made a large cooler of tea, and a large container of clothes to pass out.

Then we headed downtown to set up shop. It was my first time participating, but most of the others are regulars. As soon as we walked up, the homeless men and women started flocking. The coolest thing was witnessing the relationships that had already been established. Some of the homeless men were asking where some of the regulars where. Some of the regulars were asking about things that would have happened in their lives over the past week. It was neat to see that just by passing out a meal, true community was actually happening. I had several incredibly interesting conversations. To listen to these men tell me stories about old jobs, their sons and daughters, broken relationships, old jobs, growing up in East Nashville. I realized that they just wanted someone to talk to…someone to invest in them. Probably even more than that hot meal.

I haven’t stopped thinking or praying for the people I encountered Monday night. I’m hoping to be able to go back when I’m able. I heard someone say recently that when we volunteer, most of the time we are benefited just as much, if not more. I truly agree that my heart definitely needed a reminder this week.

BBQ

Tonight, I had the best barbeque I've ever had from this little joint. It was amazing. And that White Alabama sauce was AMAZING! I didn't get the ribs tonight, but next time, I think I'm going to have to! Seriously, if you're in the area, GO! Now!

A Vacuum, a Sock, and a Broomstick

Last night, I got home and was going to clean the house. I really needed to vacuum the bedrooms and was going to start in my bathroom and work my way out through my closet, bedroom, and then the guest bedroom. I had it all planned out. And in a matter of about ten minutes, I’d have it knocked out. I had gotten as far as the closet before I encountered any problems. I had the hose out and was going along the baseboards when I came across a sock. Then, I accidentally vacuumed it up. I have a bagless vacuum with a HEPA filter, so I checked the clear part that holds all the yucky stuff and didn’t see the sock. The hose wasn’t sucking like it had been and the sock wasn’t making its way to the holding container thingy. I had no clue what to do. So, I turned my vacuum off, and went to check the score of the Memphis game. About that time, my mother called. I decided to get her advice on removing a sock from a vacuum. If there’s any expert out there, I’m sure it’s a mom.

She asked if there was a way to take it apart and get the sock out. Sure, sounds easy enough. But I also know myself well enough to know that if I took it apart, I might as well have gone out and bought a new vacuum cleaner right then. But, with my mom’s plastered confidence in her smartest daughter, I thought I’d at least give it a try. “I can totally do this!” I was trying to psych myself up. I walked to the hall closet and grabbed my bag of tools (not that I know that to do with most of them) and pulled out a Phillips head screwdriver. I was successfully able to take three screws out of a small panel off the back. But when I tried to pull it off, it wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t figure out how to get it off. But the end of the hose came off, but it was still connected by the piece that wouldn’t come off.

At this point, I was still on the phone with my mom. I was trying to explain the process, but I don’t think I was very successful. I knew I needed something to stick down the hose to push the sock out, but I didn’t know what. That’s when my mom suggested using a broom handle.

Ohh…sounds perfect. So I hung up the phone and ran to the kitchen to grab my dust broom/mop. I went back to the closet and quickly shoved it down the hose. I kept shoving and the sock wasn’t coming out the other end. What in the world? Why did this have to be so difficult? I seemed like a simple enough trick. You just put something in there and force the sock out of hiding. But it wasn’t working. So I gave up again and went back to check the score of the game again (and of course update my status about a sock being stuck in my vacuum).

I decided I’d give it another try. This time, I was determined to make it work. I mean, I had a house to clean! Nothing. So I was going to take the broom out, but it wouldn’t budge. I was standing there, one foot on the vacuum hose, the other on the floor and I was pulling hard. It wouldn’t move. At that point, all I could do was laugh at myself. So I tried one more time and the next thing I know, I’m holding my broom in one hand and stumbling into my bathroom doorway. I pulled the broom out of the hose…well…half of it. I broke the broom handle off inside the hose. I scrunched up the hose accordion style so I could grab the rest of the broom handle, but it was about five inches short of reaching the end of the hose. I was at loss for words. So I abandoned the vacuum and went and picked up my phone.


“So, now I not only have a sock stuck in my vacuum cleaner hose, but I also have a broom handle stuck in there.”

My mom erupts with laughter. “What?”

“You heard me. I told you this would end badly!”

“Who else would this happen to? No one else but you!”

True story.

A Love For All Things Ridiculous!

So, anyone who’s known me for more than a minute can probably quickly gather my love for things that are a little on the ridiculous side.

A couple weeks ago, I had gone into new employee orientation to do a quick training just like I do every few weeks. This time, we were not meeting in the training room, but rather, a smaller conference room, big enough to hold about eight, but there were only two new employees. One of my new employee friends launched into a tirade about how appalling the art in our building was. I’ve worked here for 3 ½ years and have been in that particular building for at least a year and a half and have never had an aversion to the artwork. But this woman was clearly disturbed by the prints in that room in particular, which to me resembled an aerial view of a mall with a big blue parking lot. I took it with a grain of salt and thought to myself that I was glad I wouldn’t have to deal with her on a regular basis.

So, a week goes by and her boss asked me to set up a meeting with her to catch her up to speed on my current project. This woman is probably in her late 40’s or early 50’s and clearly has no room in her life for anything silly or useless. I set up the meeting and didn’t give it much thought. She showed up to my office and pulled up a chair to talk. She acted somewhat pleasant, we discussed our agenda, and she left. She pretty much wore me out just from being within a five mile radius of me for an hour and a half. It wasn’t until she left that I realized what had happened…thinking back to our first meeting. I was quite filled with satisfaction as I looked around at my office. I’m sure she loved the artwork!

Trusting Jesus: More Trust Issues

Sometimes I think God must look down at me and say, "Amy, I've already shown you how to do that, why can't you remember?" Or "Um, we've already covered this one. I'm not showing you that again!" Or maybe even, "Good grief, child, you wear me out."

I feel like there are several things God's been trying to teach me lately. Over and over and over again. I also don't think it's merely coincidence that they are all somewhat related and intertwined. I feel like continues to show up in my life in very unexpected ways the last few weeks. Issues of trusting God. And not really just trusting, but actually allowing him to work through us. It's easy to trust God as a savior...to actually trust in the fact that through him, we are saved. That is the basic part of Christianity. But to actually trust Jesus as our teacher is completely different. If you want to hear an amazing message about it from Cross Point on Sunday, click here.

We even discussed this concept in small group last week before Pete based his sermon on it this past weekend. Revealing thought number 1: Sometimes I find it a lot easier to trust God with the big things, but I stuggle more with giving him control over the little things. I'm not sure why that is. But it's almost like he's proven to me that he can get me through the really hard, rough times...but I hold on to the little things. I don't know. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense at all. Wouldn't you think that it would be easier to trust him with the little things? All I know is that I have a long way to go before I think I can fully trust Jesus as not only my savior, but so much more. And I want to be there in that place. Imagine the peace that must reside there!

Pete had some amazing points on Sunday. Let me share a few...

Spiritual trouble arises when we have a skewed or innaccuate vision of who Jesus is.

Matt 5:21-24 - It's not just about transformation of the heart, but it's about behavior modification.

Matt 6:1 - It's possible to do all the "right" things, but still not be close to Christ. We often try too hard to make it all about us.

Matt 6:19-21 - Do we trust Jesus where our money and possessions are concerned?

Matt 11:28 - When we're treading water spritiually, why don't we just let Jesus help us out?

John 7:37 - If you are discontent or unsatisfied, he doesn't just quench our thirst, but he provides rivers of living water - so we can become a source of life to others.

Jesus gives us grace for eternity, but also, grace for life.

I'm still working through all of this, but I think it's always somewhat refreshing to know that others are right there with me...working it out themselves. I'd be much more of a freak if that weren't true. :)

Any Competition is a Friend of Mine

I love a competition. Especially if it means if I win, I get bragging rights. I seriously think I could turn most things into a game and get some type of satisfaction out of it. Now...if I could only figure out a way to make going to the gym and getting in shape into some kind of game, I'd be golden.



A friend from work is about as much of a pop culture fanatic as I am. But now that I've given up eating lunch out for lent, it's hard to find enough time in the day to discuss and recap all tv/pop culture related events of the previous night. So we've settled for some water cooler fodder and emails to rehash the previous nights events.



Right now, the two biggest shows on our radar - Dancing With the Stars and American Idol.



Now, I'll be honest...sometimes I get really into Idol, and other seasons I completely forget it exists. I can't say that I'll commit to every week, but I will at least watch enough to keep up with it...especially since TiVo took the liberty of recording it without me even telling him.



So, I watched Tuesday night's performances and caught up to the rest of America. So, for week one of the actual competition (The crap before now is merely for entertainment purposes), here’s my synopsis.

Lil Rounds – I like her…she’s one of my favorites. I think she has a really good voice. Even if she doesn't make it very far in the competition, I think she'll have an album out.

Scott – Not a big fan. The high notes in the song were AWFUL!

Danny – Love Love Love him! I think he’s got great stage presence and he can SING! I’ve loved him since his audition. LOVE that he sang PYT!

Michael – He gets points in my book for singing the Free Willy song. Haha! I think he’s okay…but there’s not much that’s great about him.

Jasmine – She’s good, and I like her, but don’t think she’s anything special.

Kris –He can play guitar…so he’s going that going. He’s cute…so he’s got that going. I agree with Simon about the guitar not suiting the song. He’s good, but not sure about being great. He’s got potential though. I like him!

Allison – I like her. She sounds like Kelly Clarkson to me. She said she’s not cutting herself. I am glad.

Anoop – I think he’s likable, but not anything special. I love that he sang Beat It. But it was very awkward. I agree about it sounding karaoke because it’s an iconic karaoke song! But the glam squad did wonders on him! Did you notice he said “Ya’ll?” haha…he did.

Jorge – He’s good, but I don’t care one way or the other about him.

Megan – Um…her dancing is annoying. Rockin’ Robin…really?!? REALLY?!?! That just got on my nerves. Whether she can sing or not, that was a dumb song choice. And she CAWED at the end. REALLY?!? She’s got a decent voice, but dang…I need her to go home already.

Adam – Love Love Love him. He’s definitely going to be up there in the finals. And B&W is one of my favorite MJ songs! I think he’s great.

Matt – He’s definitely got the Justin Timberlake look working for him! I love that he played the piano and I think he’s got a great voice!

Alexis Grace – I think she’s good. The end was a little crazy. I think she can sing, but it was a little over the top. I agree with the judges.


PS. Paula is crazy.

So, at the office, we are picking the order in which they'll go. So here are my picks (In order - best to worst). We'll see how I do.

Danny Gokey
Adam Lambert
Lil Rounds
Allison Irahata
Matt Guirad
Kris Allen
Alexis Grace
Jorge Nunez

Jasmine Murray
Michael Sarver
Anoop Desai
Megan Corkery
Scott McIntyre



Do you watch? I want to hear your picks...or at least your top four. Next...my DWTS picks for this season. Stay tuned!

Through the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Over the last two days, I've have been ridiculously thankful to have the support of amazing friends. I'm not talking about just having people to hang out with. I'm talking about actually having people in my life who care about me and have a vested interest in my life. People who have been with me through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Yesterday, I got some devestating news that a dear friend's father was in a fatal freak accident.
She is pregnant with her first child, and she is days away from her due date. I know what it is like to lose a father, but I have no idea the mix of emotions that go along with something so sudden and unexpected. You can never prepare yourself for those things. Ever. When I got the news, my stomach literally sank. I started immediately praying for peace for her and her family. I can't imagine the hurt and pain she must be feeling during a time in her life that should be filled with such joy.

Through this though, it has made me stop and look at the friends in my own life who have been there for me. One thing I will always remember about losing my own father are the people in my life who helped get me through that time. Friends who called to tell me that they loved me. Friends who sent flowers, plants, and cards. Friends who I hadn't seen or spoken to in months, even years, who showed up unexpectedly at the funeral home. Those people loved me. Through the good. Through the bad. They were there for me, whether they knew how to be or not. It was through their love and support that I was able to get through it. To know that they were there, willing to just sit with me...without talking. Willing to let me talk through things when I was ready. To cry with me. Or just wait. Because while they might not have had the right words to say (because there are none), they were there at a time when I needed them the most. And that's what makes the difference. Just having support. People around you who care. People who love you. Regarless of any circumstances.

Today, as I was arranging to have something sent to the funeral home, I literally had to stop what I was doing and praise God for blessing me with amazing friends. Friends I so often take for granted.

I pray that right now, my friend is reminded that the Lord provides peace with time. I also pray that she is surrounded by people who love her (near and far) who can provide her with the support she needs at this exact moment. I can't fathom dealing with the death of a father and the birth of a first born baby all within days of each other. But I do know one thing for certain, and that is that at the end of the day, the Lord is sovereign.

Apparently I have no self control!

I gave up eating lunch out for Lent. I thought it would save me some money, be healthier, and all that good stuff. But mostly because I was doing it more and more for social reasons. I would bring my lunch and someone would ask if I wanted to go out for lunch and I’d go. I mean, I'll never pass on having someone to talk about Dancing With The Stars, or How I Met Your Mother. I used to never eat of for lunch. It just got to be a little ridiculous. Add to that, all of my pants are fitting a lot snugger than I’d like them to be. So I gave up eating lunch out during the work-week. I've been bringing my lunch, but I find myself needing to get out of the office. So I have been leaving the office for 30-45 mins everyday. Running errands, shopping, etc. Well, this also seems to be trouble. Today, I went to Target and came out with the following items:

U2's new cd - No Line on the Horizon
A roll of black electrical tape
Goldfish crackers
a pack of gum
coffee creamer
a squirt toy

WHAAAAT? Out of all of those things, I'll admit, I only needed coffee creamer. The rest merely caught my interest while walking through the store...bored. Bad idea.

So I decided today that maybe next week, I need to try bringing gym clothes and actually using my Y membership during my lunch break. I guess we'll see how that goes...

I'm a Liar!

I was attending a conference last week and we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves. During our introduction, we were supposed to tell everyone our name, what company we were with, and something interesting about ourselves. Now, I like to think that I’m a fairly interesting person. I have all kinds of “interesting things” I could have said. But when it was my turn to take the spotlight, I completely froze. So, I did what any normal person would do….I lied.

The words that came out of my mouth were:
"I love to travel and I’ve been to 47 out of 50 states."

As I'm saying it, I'm thinking what in the world am I saying? What a ridiculous thing to make up.

So then, of course, the 60 year old man beside me is impressed.
“Which states haven’t you been to?”

My quick response “Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine. Um…okay.

There are a million things I could have said that would have been way more interesting…things like:

“I have a pet rabbit.” (I even could have elaborated and said that I thought he was a girl for the first 4 months I owned him)

“I took a spur of the moment trip to New York City on the 4th of July just to watch the fireworks with friends.”

“I stayed up too late last night watching ‘The Man Without A Face’ on TLC about a man who let tumors invade his face to the point of not really being able to live his life”

“I’ve been swimming with dolphins in the Bahamas.”


Truth.
I’ve been to 39 out of 50 states.
Alaska
Hawaii
Maine
New Hampshire
Vermont
Rhode Island
Pennsylvania
Minnesota
Wisconsin
Michigan
Arizona


I think the next time I have to tell an interesting fact, I should say, “The last time I had to tell an interesting fact about myself, I made one up.”

Can I get more pathetic? I think through all of this, I've definitely learned that I’m not really that interesting.

America's Biggest Jerkface

Okay, I’ll come right out and say it. I’m PISSED at The Bachelor. Not that I ever thought it was true “reality tv,” but I will admit I always found myself coming back season after season. There’s something about the fact that maybe, two people will find love. Now I also know that I’m way more cynical and jaded than that. But there’s hope out there somewhere in the depths of my soul that if Trista and Ryan did it, so can the next guy or girl. I’ll go ahead and say that I’ve never believed that it’s completely real…and that sometimes, for the sake of the show, they just have to pick someone…even if they know it’s not going to work out in the end (Take Travis for instance).

But last night was just a little too much for me to stomach. I literally was emotionally exhausted. I felt like I had been dumped.

For those who don’t watch, I’ll give you the quick recap.

Jason, went from being America’s favorite bachelor to America’s biggest jerkface in a matter of minutes. During the finale, he acted like he was torn between the final two, Melissa, and Molly. He lets Molly go, walks to the balcony and starts balling like a baby. Then, returns, proposes to Melissa. Happily ever after. Until. After the Final Rose.

After the Final Rose comes on and it’s awkward. Chris is telling us that due to respect for the parties involved, it will be an intimate setting. Um…awkward. So there’s no audience, no music, just dead silence. Jason comes out and tells Chris (and the 11 million viewers) that things haven’t been the same since New Zealand and the proposal and that he’s having doubts and second thoughts. So he is going to end it with Melissa (in front of 11 million viewers) and he wants to pursue things with Molly (if she’ll take him back).

So they bring out poor Melissa. He tells her that he’s known for a while that he made a mistake by picking her and that he’s still in love with Molly. Apparently, Melissa knew something was going on, but I don’t know if she knew what was coming or not. She seemed shocked and upset. And I think she had every right to be. There were a couple things that truly broke my heart. When Melissa said that Jason had taken one thing from her she could never get back…a proposal. Then, when she was in the limo and said that it hurt her that he didn’t find her or their relationship worth fighting for. Ouch. Then, she said that she is always the dumpee and she doesn’t understand why…that there must be something wrong with her. UGH! Melissa, it is not you! For some reason, it infuriated me. Why women get it into our heads that it’s always a problem with us. Of course, we’re not perfect, but I’d just like her to stop and look at what a jerk he is. It has nothing to do with anything she did or didn’t do.

Now, this morning, I was even more disgusted to read what Reality Steve had to say on his blog. It was absolutely appalling! Check it out for yourself. He claims to have contact with individuals close to sources that revealed that Jason told the producers that his pick was Molly when there were five girls left. The producers asked who his second pick was. Melissa was the obvious choice. So the producers devised a plan for him to take Molly and Melissa to the final rose ceremony…for him to pick and propose to Melissa. Then, break up with Melissa during the After the Final Rose and ask Molly to take him back.

(Hold on…I need to throw up.)

So it was planned the whole time. Now I’m sure this isn’t the first time something has been planned in Bachelor history…but dang. To drag someone around for six weeks making them think that you are in love with her, proposing to her, making her think that you (and your son) are going to be her new family. Then pulling the rug out from under her. That is taking it to a new level. That’s just dirty. It makes me sick to my stomach that he would mess with someone’s emotions for an extended period of time knowing the whole time what he was going to do in the end. He’s an even bigger jerk than I thought. For some reason, I was an emotional wreck after last night’s finale. I seriously felt like I had been dumped. I think if I’d been Melissa, I’d have punched him in the face. He definitely deserved it.

And I don’t even know what to think about Molly. If the rumors are true and she was in on it the whole time, then she’s a jerk too. Because there’s no way I could let the man I’m in love with treat another girl so horribly and be so deceiving.


ABC, thanks for the good times, but I think I officially have to be done with The Bachelor. I can’t handle another heartbreak.