"can you take a little constructive criticism? what you're doing here is wrong."

the title of this post is a quote from the tv series ALF. i've been thinking about this the past week or so and i thought i'd put some of my thoughts down in writing. i've always been a person that thought i handled constructive criticism well. and i think for the most part i do. it's the un-constructive criticism that i don't deal well with. i don't usually let what people say bother me too much. i usually just brush it off and get right back up, with no broken bones, or crushed egos...but everynow and then something takes me by surprise and really gets under my skin and then i'm annoyed that i let it get to me. i'm a fan of constructive criticism and most of the time i offer it fully, even when it hurts or when it's hard to hear. if it's something that's going to make me better at whatever it is i'm doing, then i'm all for it.

but i guess the truth of it all is in the way it's handled. i think if you're going to rip me apart for something, you could at least find one positive thing to reinforce that something is good. i don't really like feeling like a wounded puppy walking away with my tail between my legs. i would truthfully like to know how to improve. when criticism is given constructively it can help a person see their faults and then they can begin to try to work on it. when i'm outright criticized and ripped apart, it feels like i'm being personally attacked. my defenses go up very quickly, and most of the time, that makes me pretty bitter.

i guess the whole reason i've been thinking about this is because of work. since i'm still in the "training program" technically, we are monitored a lot. it's not a big deal, because we need to know what we're doing right and wrong...and it's good to know. i don't have a problem with it at all, but there's this one girl (the same flower shirt girl from before) who doesn't know the proper way to coach someone. everyone else states the bad and the good, giving kudos for the things done correctly and possible ways to improve on the things done incorrectly. she doesn't follow the same guidelines...she likes to shoot you down really quickly and then offer no sense that you did anything right. it's a real bruise on the ego. so i figure if i handle it pretty well most of the time, how do other people handle her negativity? well...my question was answered the other day when a girl in my training class came back from her coaching session crying. i personally, don't think that job is worth shedding many tears...but i guess there are those that do.

throughout my life there are things that people have said to me that i have taken straight to heart. things that they've said not meaning to be hurtful, but they were. things that i'll probably always remember for the rest of my life. but i think you have to know when to seriously consider what they're saying and when you have to just let it go and not let it control you.