sad day

i just found out today that one of the dogs that i dog-sat for a few weeks ago died this weekend. the owners were out of town and there was a girl house-sitting and watching the dogs, just like i did a couple weeks ago. they wanted me to do it, but since they're going to be gone for a couple weeks at the end of may, and i won't be able to do it, they found someone else for the weekend as sort of a "test run." the older dog started breathing really weird and was whining, so the girl took her to the vet. but she didn't make it. apparently she had a collapsed lung and a tumor. sad day. not only that, but when the girl put the dog in the car to take her to the vet, the puppy ran away. she's so used to having the older dog watch out for her, she didn't know what to do. i'm just really thankful that i wasn't the one in charge. i'd have been freaking out. it's so sad.

"God knows i want to break free"

i know that i've been slacking on the blog scene. but my life has been a bit crazy lately, and i'll be honest...i'm loving it! i've always been the type of person that is constantly running. i always kept myself so busy i barely had time to breathe. but since the fall, my life has felt somewhat stagnant. i wasn't going anywhere, i wasn't doing anything. i was stuck. i think i dug myself into a mini depression. i'd sleep all the time, even when i wasn't tired, for no reason other than the fact that i didn't have anything else to do. yes, it was sad. i'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. it's just a reality. i really didn't have any motivation. i felt like i was never going to come out of the valley. it was hard, and most of the time, not fun at all. i can honestly say that it was the hardest year of my life. hands down, it wins...no competition. but over the last couple months i've definitely been coming out of it. and it feels so great...so liberating...so free. i'm finally free to be myself again and i love it!

"can you take a little constructive criticism? what you're doing here is wrong."

the title of this post is a quote from the tv series ALF. i've been thinking about this the past week or so and i thought i'd put some of my thoughts down in writing. i've always been a person that thought i handled constructive criticism well. and i think for the most part i do. it's the un-constructive criticism that i don't deal well with. i don't usually let what people say bother me too much. i usually just brush it off and get right back up, with no broken bones, or crushed egos...but everynow and then something takes me by surprise and really gets under my skin and then i'm annoyed that i let it get to me. i'm a fan of constructive criticism and most of the time i offer it fully, even when it hurts or when it's hard to hear. if it's something that's going to make me better at whatever it is i'm doing, then i'm all for it.

but i guess the truth of it all is in the way it's handled. i think if you're going to rip me apart for something, you could at least find one positive thing to reinforce that something is good. i don't really like feeling like a wounded puppy walking away with my tail between my legs. i would truthfully like to know how to improve. when criticism is given constructively it can help a person see their faults and then they can begin to try to work on it. when i'm outright criticized and ripped apart, it feels like i'm being personally attacked. my defenses go up very quickly, and most of the time, that makes me pretty bitter.

i guess the whole reason i've been thinking about this is because of work. since i'm still in the "training program" technically, we are monitored a lot. it's not a big deal, because we need to know what we're doing right and wrong...and it's good to know. i don't have a problem with it at all, but there's this one girl (the same flower shirt girl from before) who doesn't know the proper way to coach someone. everyone else states the bad and the good, giving kudos for the things done correctly and possible ways to improve on the things done incorrectly. she doesn't follow the same guidelines...she likes to shoot you down really quickly and then offer no sense that you did anything right. it's a real bruise on the ego. so i figure if i handle it pretty well most of the time, how do other people handle her negativity? well...my question was answered the other day when a girl in my training class came back from her coaching session crying. i personally, don't think that job is worth shedding many tears...but i guess there are those that do.

throughout my life there are things that people have said to me that i have taken straight to heart. things that they've said not meaning to be hurtful, but they were. things that i'll probably always remember for the rest of my life. but i think you have to know when to seriously consider what they're saying and when you have to just let it go and not let it control you.

ouch

yesterday i spent the entire day (on my day off) helping my mom in the yard. it was a great day, about 80 degrees, but not hot. i'm so sunburned...very very very bad. it hurts majorly and nothing seems to help. it's not fun. it doesn't make sleeping easy at all. and i haven't felt good all day today. i think i have sun poisoning. and after all these years, you think i'd learn by now that it is necessary to apply sunscreen every 2 hrs or i look like a tomato. i guess i'll tuck that knowledge away for next time. i've been applying aloe like crazy. i think the peeling will be inevitable, but i'm trying to keep it moisturized. but seriously, anyone know any tricks to get rid of the sting?

emily saves the day

i was checking out pics emily put online from the dnow i helped work in february. it was fun because my camera didn't take the greatest pictures because of the lighting...so it was great to see some good pictures. these were the ones that i really liked.

me, emily, & caroline
check out the fact that my eyes look blue in that picture...how weird.

i think i was just trying to make a silly face, but it's actually pretty scary.

caroline, emily, me, jeremy, & blue
the group leaders for the dnow

as promised...

i know that i've been saying i'd put up pictures, but i kept forgetting until it was dark. when i got home from work today i was planning on taking them, but i couldn't find my camera. so i borrowed mom's camera. she isn't as clean as she was when i first got her. apparently bugs are fairly fond of the windshield. but here she is in all her glory...as promised, here are some pics of my new fun ride.

side

front

back

sweet ride!

okay. so everything worked out. and i am now the owner of a ford explorer sport. she's so pretty. she's a 2000, black, 2 door, v6, 4.0...and she's great. i love her!!!! pictures will come soon. i promise. as soon as i picked it up after work (i did get to leave early!) i brought it straight home and washed it. she looked so pretty shining in all her glory as her paint sparkled. she smiled at me...and i, like a mother holding her daughter for the first time, beamed.

okay...so seriously i was like an antsy school girl all day. i could focus, couldn't pay attention...all i could think about was getting a new vehicle. i'm so excited...and i'm hoping this feeling doesn't rub off for a while.

on another note...she needs a name. i've never named a car before. she needs something good and strong...but great. i'm open for suggestions.

ashley, is this what you call acid reflux?

my stomach is in knots. i'm so nervous and anxious. i went to the bank yesterday to see if i could be approved for a loan. everything was fine and she told me to just bring the paperwork from the dealer back to her. my grandpa went to check out the explorer to make sure everything was working good and see if i was really getting a good deal on it. he's exteremly critical on cars, so i felt really good about it when he confirmed that it seemed like a great vehicle and it was in really good shape. he thinks the guy is giving me a good deal with my trade in. so everything worked out. when i called my grandpa to ask him if he'd check it out for me, he was still working, so he wasn't able to do it until later. it was 5:10 before i got back to the dealer and they close at 5:30. he drew up the paper i needed for the bank, but since the bank closes at 5:30 too, there was no way i could make it. i tried my best, but it was on the other side of town and trying to get through 10 red lights wasn't making it easy on me. so i pulled into the bank at 5:29...doors were locked. once i get the paperwork taken care of at the bank, i can do the trade and pick up my new car!!! the bank closes at 5:30 today...the dealer closes at 5:30...and i get off work at 5:30. so i'm smart enough to know that i can't be in three places at once. it's too far away to take care of it on my lunch break, so i'm hoping that i can get off early to take care of some "personal business." if i can't, it looks like it'll be wed before i can get this all worked out because i'm working saturday. hopefully nobody will want to buy it before then.

on being dumped

have you ever had a best friend who started dating someone? let's just be honest. it sucks. i want to be so happy for her, and i am. seriously. she really deserves a great guy and i think that he's closer to what she needs than anything she's ever had before. i love hearing her stories about how sweet he is and about the little things he does for her. i love watching her face light up when she talks about him and how she goes into "silly girl mode" and talks a mile a minute. i really am happy for her. i just wish that i still got to spend as much time with her. i feel like i'm being dumped...and i don't like it. i know that it's just me being a dumb girl and feeling rejected and i know it's not like that at all...but that's the way it feels sometimes. maybe part of it is knowing that i don't have that, and maybe part of it is wishing that i did. who knows...all i know right now is that i'm missing out on my quality girl time, and i miss it a lot.

"had it been another day i might have looked the other way"

I've just seen a face - the beatles
I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just meet.
She's just the girl for me
And want all the world to see
We've met, mmm-mmm-mmm-m'mmm-mmm.
Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
And I'd have never been aware.
But as it is I'll dream of her
Tonight, di-di-di-di'n'di.
Falling, yes I am falling,
And she keeps calling
Me back again.
I have never known
The like of this, I've been alone
And I have missed things
And kept out of sight
But other girls were never quite
Like this, da-da-n'da-da'n'da.
Falling, yes I am falling,
And she keeps calling
Me back again.

okay…so i have no idea why, but for some reason a few days ago i saw this suv at this dealership and i had to stop and look at it. i’ve been thinking about getting a new car for over a year now and i’ve seriously considered it numerous times. i’ve been looking at escapes, and grand cherokees because i really like those the best, but there have been others that have caught my eye. and that’s exactly what happened on my way home from work a few days ago. she caught my eye and i just had to stop. i thought that it was an escape, but it turned out to be a ford explorer sport. it’s a 2000 black, 2 door (so it’s not quite as long as the regular explorers). i stopped and checked it out. it’s got some miles on it, which is probably why the price is so low. i went out there with my mom today and i test drove it. i like it a lot. there doesn’t seem to be any major problems with it at all, except the front passengers seat has been torn on one of the seams and sewn back together and there are a couple other small things that you’d find with just about any used car, but nothing serious. The guy at the place was really awesome and i feel like he was very honest about everything. it’s the same place where my grandpa gets his cars (buying used cars is like an extra hobby for him) and he keeps going back, so there has to be some credibility there. he even said that they’d had it looked at and everything seems to be in great shape, but that he wouldn’t mind if i wanted to take it to my mechanic to have it looked over. he also said that if i decide to trade in my corolla they can give me $2000 for it (seems about right since the 'rolla seems like she's ready to croak soon). that means i'd be paying less than $4000 plus the trade in. so now i’m trying to decide what i want to do and what the best decision for me is. it’s hard. it seems like a great deal. i need to decide what i want to do and see if i can get approved for a loan without a cosigner. who knows…that’s it for now.

random stuff

there are some funny random things that don't really fit in any other category...so i'm giving them their own post.

random work happenings...
i'm working at a call center for a well-known research company. my job is to call households and ask them a series of questions about their television viewing. then we send them something to fill out. most households are very willing to participate if you can get past the whole, "i'm not a telemarketer speech" in the beginning. but the few weeks that i've been working there, i have encountered some pretty funny stories and i thought i'd share some of the funnier ones.

• because most numbers are randomly selected, i have reached some pretty crazy places including, a motor home sales lot, bed bath and beyond, a cruise line, a contractor building a house, a pay phone, a ranch in far east texas, and wal-mart tire center (where they answered the phone "we sell tires and lubes for less. wal-mart tire center").

• i've talked to about ten 80-something year olds and a couple 90-something year olds who are so excited to be participating in our research. a few of them even said "i've been waiting my whole life to do this." wow.

• a lady answering by saying "who dis is? you callin' me unavailable."

• after i'd explained everything to this one guy, i asked "do you have any questions?" to which he replied "yeah. will you be delivering these personally?" i could see where this was going, so i just said "no sir, i'm sorry. they'll be coming priority mail with your regular mail." then he said "well, i'm sorry too." weird old men.

• i called this one house where the lady answered the phone. after i explained who i was and where i was calling from she started yelling to her husband, "alfred, get on the phone. i promise you're going to want to be a part of this." so he picks up the phone and i'm talking to both of them.

• i've been asked numerous times where i'm calling from. once i was even told i didn't sound like i was from kentucky. it was a guy from new york, so it made me feel pretty good. one guy from louisiana that asked me that question was my age. after he found out where i was calling from, he started asking me about different things in ky...apparently he'd been here before. he then preceded to ask me somewhat personal questions which was sort of weird.

• i've been told some pretty random stuff by people. things i'd never expect to hear. things about how they're a widow because their wife died and all their kids grew up and left home. how one woman had brain surgery, and it makes it hard to concentrate while talking on the phone. how some people just want to talk for the sake of talking, even after i'm done with everything i have to say.

• and everynow and then i do get a phone call that makes my whole day worth while. yesterday i had this lady ask me at the end of the conversation if i had any kids or a family. once i reponded by saying no, she asked me how old i was. then she said "i hope that you have a wonderful, blessed life with a remarkable family. i hope that everything you do and the decisions you make leave you incredibly happy." i really wasn't expecting that at all, but she was so sincere in the way she said it.

yesterday

okay. so, like the title says, this is going to be about yesterday.

brooke's mom and stepdad have some friends who needed someone to house-sit and dog-sit while they were out of town. for some reason, brooke and i were volunteered. brooke called me about a month ago and asked me if i wanted to do it. there was going to be one weekend when they'd be gone and then for a week later in the month. i thought it was kind of strange that brooke's mom even offered the thought that she might want to do it. i think she was thinking more along the lines of it would be a good way to make some extra money without doing much. but i'm pretty sure she forgot about the part about her daughter not liking dogs...especially big dogs that jump. so when brooke asked me about it, i agreed without much hesitation. i worked during the day on fri and sat and brooke worked at night which meant i'd be there during the night to take care of the dogs and stuff. no problem. no big deal. then she realized that she wasn't going to be there at all...still not a big deal. i can't believe her mom suggested she would do it in the first place. i'm sure she wouldn't have the slightest clue what to do.

so friday night i was at the house alone after work. the dogs had just settled down a little bit and were starting to just lay around. one of the son's came home and scared the crap out of me. i knew that there was a possibility he might be in and out of the house over the weekend, but i wasn't expecting it. it was just kind of weird. i went to bed, everything was fine. i had to work the next morning, so i set the alarm and crawled into bed. the puppy has to sleep in a big cage in the bedroom so she doesn't get into trouble, but the older dog can roam around the house.

i woke up yesterday morning about 5 mins before the alarm was set to go off. i had slept so good, i wasn't ready to get up yet, and i really wasn't in the mood to go to work. after hitting the snooze button for about 35 mins, i finally dragged my lazy butt out of bed. i grabbed my cell phone and called my brother because i was suppose to make sure he got up to take the ACT. i let the puppy out of her cage and walked her to the backdoor with the doggy door on it so she could do her business. i turned around and walked back to the bedroom and went into the bathroom. when i opened the door to come out, the puppy was peeing on the rug. not just a rug...a very nice, white furry rug. i was so not in the mood to be cleaning up puppy pee. the beautiful rug, now stained with a big yellow spot stared up at me. crap. so i started running around the house like a mad woman trying to find something to clean it up with. i found some paper towels and some carpet cleaner and went to to work scrubbing and scrubbing. it wasn't yellow anymore, and it didn't smell like pee, but it definitely wasn't very fluffy. i was out of options and time was running out.

i started getting ready for work. i washed my face and went to put in my contacts. but i'd run out of contact solution. i put a drop of water on it...it felt like fire in my eyes. ouch. i went over to my bag and pulled out my black pants. then as i was about to put them on, i realized they weren't the one's i thought they were...i had grabbed the wrong pair out of my closet. luckily i did have a pair of blue jeans, so i threw those on, and finished getting ready. i had forgotten to take my tennis shoes over with me because after work when i went home to take my own dog out, i traded them out for a pair of flip flops. i thought that as long as i was dressed kind of cute, no one would mention my flip flops, but with my jeans, it was definitely more obvious. i'd seen other people wearing flip flops, but never with jeans, only when they were dressed up a little. so i debated in my head...do i have time to run home and get them? or should i just wear the flops and explain the situation if someone says something?

i didn't debate for too long, my brain wasn't quite ready for it. i was in a habit of eating breakfast, so i'd planned on stopping somewhere to grab something. i thought about chik-fil-a...or mcdonalds. but i was in some serious need of some coffee. and not just any coffee...starbucks. i needed some good stuff. the only starbucks this crappy town has is in barnes and noble and i knew they weren't open yet. so i stopped at a gas station and i figured i'd grab a starbucks carmel frappuccino and maybe a pop tart or some other great gas station breakfast. just as the day seemed like it couldn't get any worse...they didn't have any. i settled for a fivestar gas station cappuccino and a krispy kreme donut. i figured if anything could make my day start off on a better foot, it had to be a krispy kreme donut.

so i pull into the parking lot at work and i has 15 minutes to spare. i think it's the earliest i've ever gotten to work. at that point i realized i definitely had time to run home and grab my shoes. too late now.

very quick...

okay...so i do have a list of things that i want to blog about. unfortunately, i've been so busy the last few days, it seems i've barely had time to breathe. right now the list is out in my car and i'm too tired to go out and get it. so the list will come either later tonight or tomorrow. it's not anything too exciting...just funny stories and random happenings of my day and stuff from work. it's possible that it could be at least mildly entertaining...so you might want to check back later. :)

i've been busy house sitting and doggy sitting. the dogs are great (except when they're peeing on a really great rug...story to come later). they're both weimeraners...one is older and the other is a puppy. it's been okay, they're just very time consuming. they're used to having lots of love...so when they're not getting it, they get a little wild.

i'm off to go eat dinner with nate...then i'm heading back to the house. i promise more to come soon...

short on cash?

I am worth $1,870,058.00 on HumanForSale.com
i wonder who gets the money if i decided to sell myself? like, would i get to keep it, but i'd belong to someone else...or what?

man!

i soooo should have had my bracket in a pot!

just another manic monday

i'm so tired today. i definitely have a case of the mondays. blah. i kind of want to crawl into bed and stay there until morning, but tonight is the championship game. so i'm thinking that i probably won't be going to bed anytime soon.

my mom has been trying to convince me all week to go to ohio with her and my brother, corey. she wanted me to go tuesday- thursday and then i could come back for work on friday, but i told her today that i wasn't going to go with them tomorrow.

brooke just called and said her mom's having a bunch of people over for the game. they're going to order food and stuff and she invited me. so i might go for a little while...either until i can't hold my head up, or until the games over, whichever comes first.

work today seemed kind of slow. it did drag a little bit because there was lots of time between calls. this morning i was really frustrated. i was having "one of those days." i was running a few minutes behind, but nothing major. i got to the end of my road and it was blocked off because of two big city trucks. there was a house that had a tree cut down and i guess they were loading it up in the trucks. but i could see it was going to be a while, so i turned around and went the other way...a longer way. then, i hit almost every traffic light from here to work (all 88 of them). so i was kind of freaking out because i was afraid i was going to be late. i pulled into the parking lot and my clock in my car was saying that i was late. i got to the time clock and swiped my card right before the clock changed. so i walked to my my cubicle and the supervisor had already started talking...so now almost everyone knows that i'm late getting ready for the day. i was a little frazzled at that point. then we started the calls. there was this girl who was wearing a flowery shirt. she was apparently a training assistant, but not one of the ones i had, so i'd never seen her before. she stuck 2 post-its on my computer. one said "make sure you ask for an apt, lot, or box #" (which i did!) and the other said "make sure you're reading verbatim" (which i was!). then afterwards, she came up to me and she started telling me that i was doing something wrong. it was something that we'd talked about a million times in training and i knew that i was doing it right. so i was really frustrated because this girl was ripping me apart for absolutely nothing. so i looked over the cycle notes and i found the part pertaining to what i needed...and i was right! so just to make sure, i asked one of my training assistants to verify that i was doing it right, and she said that i was. so then i was just trying to stay out of the wrath of crazy flowery shirt woman. after that the day got a little better until i spilled free cappuccino in my new purse. yeah, i'm not sure how it got in my purse...but i managed to.

what happened to the weekend?

this weekend didn't really feel like a weekend at all. i worked my first "regular" shift at work yesterday. i have to admit that working on a saturday might not be that fun at all...but i guess it beats the alternative of working on sunday. so from now on i'll be working mon, tues, fri, sat from 8:45-5:30. fun, huh? yeah, not so much.

the job seems to be going okay so far. i was evaluated yesterday and i did really well. it's funny how it made me feel pretty good, even though it wasn't much of a big deal. the time seems to pass by pretty quickly while i'm at work, so that's been a really good thing. i'm hoping that it will continue to go just as fast in a few weeks.

then today, i spent the day cleaning up my room, doing laundry, and watching part of season 9 of friends. not really so much fun at all, but it needed to be done (well...maybe not the part about watching friends, but the rest of the stuff).

so now that it's late sunday night, it doesn't feel like the weekend should be over yet. i feel like i need another day. plus, losing an hour this weekend doesn't really help anything. i do really like spring forward though. i like it when it doesn't get dark til almost 9:00pm. i like it when it's pretty outside all day long and then the chill comes once the sun starts to go down. it just makes so much more sense when it doesn't get dark at 6. the days seem longer...like you can get more accomplished. of course on those bad days, it might not be such a great thing...