i was contemplating why it seems so often when i look at people's lives who don't know Christ why it seems like they have it easier sometimes. i was thinking about that this morning and i realized that it's not that they have it any easier at all, but sometimes at first glance it seems that way. i have no idea what struggles they deal with, or what their life is like. maybe they're just great at covering up their feelings. maybe they wear a lot of masks. maybe they're just great con-artists. anyway, the more i thought about it, the more i realized that i'm the idiot. Jesus came to earth and died this horrible death on a cross so that i could have full life. i don't have full life right now. i am a christian and i try to live for Christ, but my biggest mistake is that daily i try to do everything on my own. i want to sit here and say, "sure, i give everything i own to God." but in truth, i really don't. i hand things over to him, things that bother me or burden me only to snatch them away again before i can even begin to heal from the hurts they bring me. i can't even fathom the love of Christ...it's so beyond my realm of understanding, but i know that he wants me to give him the things in my life that keep me from being truly happy in him, my job, lving situations, my future, family, friends, anything that troubles me, but i'm so stubborn in my ways and daily i have to remind myself that i need not worry about these things because it's getting me nowhere...only with the help and strength that he is going to give me will i truly be happy and fulfilled.