do you ever have one of those days where you just want to have an out-of-body experience and watch yourself to see how dumb you really are? well, today was definitely one of those days. i can't say that i'm the best at handling certain situations, especially when it comes to dealing with twenty and thrity something year olds who act like they're five. i mean, they act like i love working there or something...but that's beside the point. the point is, i was frustrated and i hate it when i let people get under my skin like that. i do this thing where i get really frustrated, then mad, and then i just want to be left alone because if anyone else makes a comment to me about it, i explode. i think that's pretty much what happened today. kind of like when i'm really upset. i've been told that i'm an unemotional person so many times in my life...what exactly is that? i definitely have emotions, so i don't really understand where they're coming from. i've never really been one to cry a lot (except when i was little and i'd throw tantrums). i do my share of crying, but i try to not waste it on stupid stuff. it seems like i try to ration out my best cry sessions. you can't have too many episodes at once, or you'll become labeled an "emotional person." this title does not hold well with me. rather, i'm the person who gets really mad and then tears just start exploding out of my eyeballs uncontrollably. there's usually no warning sign...it just hits. crying makes me mad. and i absolutely HATE crying in front of other people. i hate it when they ask me if i'm okay because my first reaction is to reply with "do you think if i were okay i'd be crying?" but then i realize they're just trying to be nice, so i try to cut them some slack. i also hate to be touched when i'm being "emotional." don't hug me, don't rub my arm, don't pat me on the back. i am not your dog. i know some people like to be touched and it makes them feel loved. but it's not me. this is an issue i'm trying to deal with, but at the moment, i just don't deal well with it (i'm not much on the physical touch aspect, although i wish i were). when i do cry, i wish to be in the privacy of my own home with my trusty pillow in hand. it's always been good to me during my times of need. but i think i'd rather be more like a man and not let my emotions get the best of me. but even i, cute little amy, have my days where i just can't handle it. today, was definitely one of those days.