Anemia, you are not my friend!

I had hopes of writing something profound for the new year, but so far, 2009 has been a little rocky. I had a pretty great New Years Eve hanging out with one of my absolute favorite people in the whole wide world. But I woke up New Years Day feeling lots of sinus pressure. I went to the doctor Friday because I knew I wouldn’t be able to shake it. I had a sinus infection…no big deal, but I also found out a lot more information about why I keep getting sick. The doctor said I am severely anemic. A normal person's count should be between 12-19 and mine was at 9. Apparently, at 8, people start needing blood transfusions! Um, scary…YES!! So, needless to say, I've been a little freaked out. Looking back at recent months, it all makes a lot more sense. Maybe I’m not a lazy piece of crap after all. I’m just anemic and my body hates me for it! I'm constantly so worn out all the time. When I do have the energy to exercise, it completely wears me out instead of making me feel better. I get winded from carrying in groceries. So, I'm trying to increase my iron intake and I was told to take prenatal vitamins (yes, I said PRENATAL!) and I have to get blood drawn again in a month to see if it's any better. Today is the first day I've actually felt normal again. So I'm praying for progress!

Holidays and Econ...um...thanks.

Um...so I just got this ecard. Apparently the WKU Econ department wants to wish me Happy Holdiays. I'm pretty sure the Econ department is why I almost didn't graduate.

Consumerism is the American Way...

I've been thinking a lot about consumerism the last week. It plays such a huge part in the "American Dream." We think the more stuff we have, the better life will be. Often times, I find myself caught up in the hype of things I don't need. I want them for the mere sake of wanting them. I saw this and am wondering "What if we all really did do this?" Pretty awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

The new stars of HSM3

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HSM3

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Mystery Worshippers?

Tonight, I got in a conversation with a friend about church. Apparently, he’s not too keen on the idea of attending church. Mostly because he feels like it’s too many times treated like a business transaction. Of course, my defensive walls come up. But I have to agree with him. For the most part, he’s right. We talked about churches using gimmicks to get people to attend, marketing techniques, and how sometimes Christians can be the most un-Christ-like people around. And sadly, I can’t argue. I can only hope that I’m different. That my friends are different. That my church is different.

Then, he sent me this article from today’s Tennessean.

The person sitting next to you in church today may look like an average visitor, but be careful, he might be taking notes.

A growing number of churches are using mystery worshippers, consultants giving congregations the same kind of unbiased, unfiltered feedback that secret shoppers give retail stores or restaurants. The mystery worshippers give churches the kind of honest responses that newcomers almost never do. From angry parking lot attendants to boring sermons, they let the churches know what they are doing right and wrong.

click here for the rest.

I think sometimes we worry too much about impressing people. Instead of letting the word of God speak to their hearts. Instead of letting the music soak their soul. Instead, we offer distractions.

I was reminded this summer in the Dominican Republic that the place we worship and the manner in which we do it are not the most important. I had an amazing experience in an unfinished church with cement walls, dirt floors, in a language I couldn’t understand. But God was just as present.

I don’t think that the secret shoppers are necessary if the church is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. If we are welcoming visitors, if we are showing the love of Christ, if we are being the hands and feet, then it seems unnecessary.

But on the other hand, if there are churches that are not doing such a good job in these areas, then I guess it’s good that they’re seeking help.

Thoughts?

I could put it in the want ads...

There are certain times it would come in quite handy to have a guy around.

Like tonight, I got home and it was 65 degrees in my condo. I need to buy a new air filter before I switch over to heat. I remember when I moved in, I was told that it was an irregular size. So now I have to figure out where to buy one and make sure it's the right size. I just want the chill out of the place! I'm tired of being cold!

It would also be nice if he could take out the trash, kill bugs, and pump gas.

My New Life Plan

Effective today, I'm starting on a new venture...a new "life plan." There are a lot of things that I should probably add, but I'm starting with four simple things that will contribute to my happiness and health.

1.) Get to work by 8:30
Lately, it's been a real struggle to drag myself in by 9. I know it's ridiculous...that's why it's on the list. Maybe once I get 8:30 down, I'll push it back to 8:15 and eventually 8.

2.) Brown bag my lunch
I've been eating lunch out a lot more recently. Probably more for socialization reasons that anything else. It's getting expensive...and it's not that good for me.

3.) Work out at the Y at least 3 times a week
I am not the greatest at being motivated to go work out, but I need to be. I've gained weight and now my clothes don't fit. Um...that's a big problem. I need to get my lazy butt in shape.

4.) Have a better attitude Well...I need to. Because lately, mine sucks.So, there they are...the three things that will slowly change my life.

Feel free to ask me how it's going and hold me accountable.

And just in case you're wondering, here's today's results.
1.) Got to work at 8:42 (not 8:30, but better)
2.) Took my lunch to work
3.) Worked out for 30 mins after work
4.) My attitude was better...not great...but better. :)

Yay for today!

Today is my three year anniversary of me moving to Nashville. Crazy!

Back to blogging

I just found out that some friends are either back to blogging, or taking a stab at it for the first time!

YAY!

Crystal - http://myownrealityshow.blogspot.com/

Ashley - http://catdawg04.blogspot.com/

Jenny - http://borderspatrol.blogspot.com/

Brandon - http://amindstrainingproject.blogspot.com/

The Nashville "Gas Crisis"

Okay, okay…so someone started a rumor in Nashville Friday that by the end of the day, the whole city would be out of gas. Well…pure pandemonium broke out…and what do you know?! By Friday evening and into Saturday, 95% of Nashville gas stations were out of gas. You know what I think? It’s absolutely absurd! CNN.com posted this article yesterday.

When I left work Friday, I probably passed at least a dozen gas stations on my way home. Every single one of them was out of gas. I was curious if the Kroger near where I lived had any, so I turned to go into the parking lot. I couldn’t even get in the parking lot. If I’d wanted groceries, there would have been no way for me to get in. There was a lady from a local restaurant asking people if they wanted to place an order while they wait. Um, seriously?! What in the world.

I decided that my 1/8th of a tank was going to have to last me…at least for the night. I went to hang out with some friends. On the way home at 2am, I decided to count the number of gas stations I passed. 19. All of them out of gas except for one of the sketchiest stations in the area. They had 2 pumps and there were at least 40 people in line. Did I mention it was 2 in the morning?!

Yesterday, I decided to venture out. I passed the same Kroger with the same line. I’d guess that people who were in that line were waiting at least two hours. I was afraid if I got in line, they’d run out. There were at least 100 cars in line. I continued driving. I passed about 40 gas stations and none of them had gas. Finally, I saw a gas station with gas. The line was about half a mile long. 20 miles later, I found another gas station. At this point, I didn’t think I’d find another one with gas. So I sat in the line that blocked one lane of traffic, cut through the Bank of America parking lot, to where there was a man directing traffic, across a blocked road, and into the gas station parking lot. 40 minutes later, I had a full tank.

I had some friends who opted to sit in line at my option 2…the half mile line. They waited over an hour.

Apparently, they’re saying that Nashville probably won’t be back to normal until Thursday or Friday. Well, as much as everyone is freaking out…who knows how long it will be. Every gas station that gets a shipment in has a million people lined up. I guess I’ll just be waiting this one out!

Boo-yah!

Here's my fantasy football team. Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think of my drafting skills. :)

Marion Barber
(Dal - RB)
Terrell Owens
(Dal - WR)
Brandon Jacobs
(NYG - RB)
Wes Welker
(NE - WR)
Rudi Johnson
(Cin - RB)
Chris Cooley
(Was - TE)
Joey Galloway
(TB - WR)
Justin Fargas
(Oak - RB)
Matt Schaub
(Hou - QB)
Brett Favre
(NYJ - QB)

Bon-bon Shaking Duties on Hold

Apparently, Ricky Martin had twins. My favorite part of the article was "Martin is thrilled about the births and is stepping back from his duties as a bon-bon shaking celebrity to be a dad." Um...yeah.

So, what's up with all these single guys getting women to have their babies?

Yes, I'm Stubborn

stubborn:
1 a (1): unreasonably or perversely unyielding
(2): justifiably unyielding
b: suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature
2: performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner
3: difficult to handle, manage, or treat
4: lasting

Last week, I was approached about joining a fantasy football league. I said I definitely wanted to participate. Now, I know I don't know much about football...and by "much," I really mean "anything," but I'm always up for a little friendly competition. I thought being in a fantasy football league would be fun. A few days went by and then I was kicked out. They said it was because I was the last to join. I am pretty sure it was because I am a girl. I was determined to get back in. Today I was asked to rejoin the league. YAY!

Now I need to figure out what to do. Any tips anyone can offer will be great! Who do I need on my team?

Oh yeah, I need a good name too!

Fight Like A Girl!

This year I will be participating in the Komen Greater Nashville Race for the Cure® on October 4th in downtown Nashville. My friend, Laura, was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this summer. I will be walking with Laura's team Fight Like A Girl to support her and her fight against breast cancer.

I believe everyone should fight for causes they can be passionate about. This is definitely something I want to support, and I'm hoping you will as well.

Statistics show that one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. If you would like to make a difference, please consider donating through this website, or you can sign up to walk along with me and my team.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Greater Nashville Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure

I miss my dad!

I miss my dad today. It's hard to believe that it's been two years.

I'm Over It!

So I took my car to a different repair shop that was recommended to me. They are supposedly known for being honest and fair. After the couple weeks I've had, I'm conviced that all things related to cars are not fair...or cheap. So I called last week and made an appointment. I took it in this morning for repairs.

Total $589.
Grand total (for everything I've had fixed in the past week and a half): over $900

A guy just called to tell me that it also needs an idol air control valve. Of course it does! Another $200. I told him I can't fix it right now. It has been making that noise when I turn my air on for over a year and everytime I take it in and ask them to check it out, they can never hear it to tell me what it is.

He said he'd get it fixed ASAP. I told him I hate cars.

A Blessing From a Stranger

While I was in the DR, my car (Champ) sat in the parking lot of my condo for eight days without being driven. Upon my return, she was a little testy. She was upset with me for leaving her for so long. She cried...or squeaked...in a very high pitch. I took her to the doctor, to see what was wrong. They said that I needed to get a serpentine belt, and an idle pulley, with the possibility of also needing a tensioner. $250 and one day later, I started her up and the squeak was still there. At this point, I was rather annoyed. I had originally taken it in for a squeak...and it was still there. I called them back and told them that she was still squeaking and that I probably needed the tensioner. Although I had no idea what in the world it was (even after googling it), I felt like that was the most logical explaination. It is what they told me, afterall. And of course, I'm going to trust them...I'm not mechanic! So I took her back in the next day with the intent of replacing the tensioner and putting it all behind me. I received a call that afternoon saying that they replaced the tensioner (and that labor was free since it wasn't fixed before, but it was still $50), but she was still squeaking. WHAT?! I know, right? I grabbed a pen to jot down the parts that needed to be fixed. Camshaft synchronizer, cam position sensor, gaskets. Okay, so I've heard of gaskets. But are those other two things really even car parts? So I ask the dreaded question. "How much does it cost?" My estimate including parts and labor: $585. I wanted to die. Yes, after shelling out a grand total of $900...Champ could be good as new! I wanted to throw up.

I immediately called my stepdad to see if I was getting a run for my money, or if he thought they were being honest. His suggestion was to go buy a new car. Maybe a "cute little Camry or Corolla, or maybe a Honda." UGH! I immediately had a talk with Champ. I told her that I wasn't going to leave her in her time of need, but that I needed her to pull through. Together, we could figure it out. Obviously, my pep talk didn't work...the squeak is only getting worse!

Fast forward to today. Champ is still squeaking. And it's getting worse by the day. Earlier this week I called some auto repair shops to get some other estimates for parts and labor. The consensus was that it cost a lot of money...more than I wanted to spend. More than I was able to spend. I've spent a lot of time this week praying and trying to figure out how to work it all out. It's not like I just have an extra $900 just lying around each time I get paid.

Today, I got an email from a friend who said that she needed to meet me at lunch. When I met her, she gave me a hug and handed me a folded check and said "I was telling someone about your situation and they wanted me to give you this." I opened it up and it was $650. I have no idea who this amazing angel is, and she won't tell me. But it is seriously the most amazing blessing ever. She said that this person wants to remain anonymous (and she swears I don't know them anyway), but they just saw a need that they wanted to meet. She said that they are a firm believer in the body of Christ and wanted to bless me because she heard about my mission trip to the DR and my car problems since I've been back. Because they aren't able to offer their physical body by going, they want to bless those who can. I believe that this seriously is a testament to how amazing our God is and proof that the body of Christ really does exist and is working in us all.

So I made and appointment for Champ for Monday morning. YAY!

Pretty awesome, huh? I'm still amazed!!! :)

Anyone else have a story like that?

This is my life...

This morning, I stopped at Starbucks on my way to take my car in. I had a few extra minutes because my ride was running late, so I decided I had enough time to drive through Starbucks really quick. I took my car to the auto repair shop and checked in and everything. My ride still wasn't there yet, so I took up residence in a pretty amazing rocking chair out front. It was kind of like Cracker Barrell. I was sitting there, enjoying the humidity, sipping on my caramel macchiato. I have no idea what happened, but all of a sudded, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. It wasn't a ton, but enough to realize that it was definitely hot! I looked around to make sure no one saw me. I think I was safe. Until I stood up. It seriously looked like I peed in my pants. So of course, I had to come to work like that. I walked in my office, grabbed my trusty Tide to go pen from my top drawer and my planner to strategically place in front of me on the way to the ladies room. I went to work with water and the Tide pen and paper towels. I came out feeling like I did more damage than good. I had definitely made it worse, but I was hoping it would dry without a stain. So now, even 5 hours later, I smell like coffee and nasty Tide to go. What's a girl to do?

A Difficult Transition

The transition back to "normal life" has been a little more difficult than I expected. I thought that I would return on Tuesday afternoon, take Wednesday off, and transition back into work and my normal routine on Thursday. Well, it's still Sunday and I still don't quite feel like I'm there.

I can't help but wonder why God has chosen me to be exactly where I am. I am more fortunate than I've ever realized. I don't have to want for much. And I've been pretty content the past three years making my home in Nashville. It's crazy to think that one room of my house holds more possessions than most of the households in the Dominican. It's just a reminder to continually praise God for the things I've been blessed with. I think one of the hardest things for me...is that I know that eventually, it won't be in the front of my brain anymore. Over time, I will forget and get caught back up with the things I want to help "fill" my life. I just pray that I remember how fortunate I am and that I am reminded often to share what I've been given.

While in the Dominican, we were given an opportunity to help sponsor a child through G.O. Ministries. I picked a seven year old girl named Sheyla. For $30 a month, I am helping to provide a private Christain education, school books and supplies, and a birthday and Christmas present. I've already received her photo. And I will receive more information soon. I think the most exciting part of it is that if I go back to the Dominican Republic, I be able to visit her if I'd like. Pray for Sheyla! I definitely will be!

Back Home

I'm back home from the Dominican Republic and there are a million thoughts rushing around in my head. Our team got back yesterday afternoon. I'll be honest. It's been very strange to come home. I feel like I have so much I take for granted. While I was incredibly excited to take a shower with hot water with actual water pressure, and be able to brush my teeth with running water out of the tap, and walking into air conditioning, and sleeping in my own bed...I wouldn't have expected this, but I really miss it. It was kind of nice to disconnect and unplug from the world. No e-mail, no cell phone, no computer, no Facebook. Those of you who know me know that I'm always in touch with what's going on. But it was really refreshing to not have to worry about any of it for a while. Of course, I did come home to 89 emails (not including work email).

I really wanted to spend today reflecting and writing about my experiences, but I think I still need some time to process. I did journal a lot while I was over there, so I will type up those journal entries and get them posted (hopefully tomorrow).

I just want to say thank you for partnering me with prayers, thoughts, kind words. You are all awesome!

Thoughts on the DR to come soon!

The beauty of languages all worshiping one God

Church this morning was amazing. To think that we were worshiping in an unfinished church where people were coming together to praise God was pretty neat. People who speak different languages, who come from different backgrounds, different countries...but everyone had a common bond in Christ. To hear the gospel being preaches in English, Spanish, French, and Creole was pretty amazing. All the languages come together to make a beautiful sound. How powerful that was!

While I'm still unsure of why God has brought me on this trip, I know that my life will be changed upon my return home. I remember the very first time I went to Cross Point when I was looking for a new church over two years ago, Pete was talking about an upcoming DR trip. I remember watching a video thinking how awesome it would be to be a part of something so eternal. I know sometimes I get so caught up in possessions and how much I have. I wanted to come on this trip and work and love on kids. But I feel like my life has been blessed with so much more. Just by hearing the stories of the people here. How churches and schools and feeding centers have been built. By seeing how God has been working through GO Ministries and the missionaries here. By being surrounded by people with barely any material possessions but are truly happy. For those kids to look up with huge grins on their faces just to have someone hold thier hand or pick them up and give them a hug.

Just how heavy is a bucket of cement?

Today was a long and difficult day. We went back to the church to work this morning. My muscles are tired. I felt worn out, but there was still so much to be done. It's still amazing to me that we are actually building a church. We are putting together a structure for other people to come to worship. It's almost unfathomable to me at this point.

Before lunch, we hauled a lot of water using the passing of the bucket technique. Somewhere along the line, someone invented a new way to pull the water up to the second floor. It seemed more efficient in the long run, but it definitely took some arm muscles.

We left the work site for a couple hours and headed to"The Hole" to help at the feeding center (I figured that deserved it's own post). And after lunch, we started working again. We mixed and poured concrete...lots and lots of concrete. At one point, it started to pour down rain. We continued working. It felt nice that it had cooled down, but with our bodies soaked from the rain, it was almost chilling.

We all worked hard today! And we got a little messy...or a whole lot messy!

When we got back from working at the church, there was no running water. The one day I decided to work hard and not worry about getting dirty. We had to bathe out of large trash cans that were kept in the shower stalls. Trying to get the drying concrete out of my hair was a task too big. I tried to get it wet and comb the cement out of my hair. Hey, at this point, whatever works. :)

"The Hole"

Before lunch, we loaded the vans to go to "The Hole." It was literally a trash dump in Santiago that people had made their home. There were tiny paths where sewer water ran down into the water below. Along the paths were tiny houses no bigger than my living and dining room. Kids with bare feet ran through the sewer water that was slowly making it's way down to the basin below. Starved dogs and cats chased after them. The smell was wretched.


We hadn't gotten very far from and only walked down a few levels, before kids came running with their arms raised just wanting someone to pick them up and love on them.


It broke my heart to see the people living there. We were told that "The Hole" was basically ruled by the drug ward and we were actually there under his protection. Apparently, years ago, when the feeding center and church were first being built, he asked for a meeting with the pastor because he liked what was going on there and he saw hope and future for the kids. So he told the pastor that he would watch out for him and the groups that he would bring in to help with the church and feeding center. It's a pretty crazy story, but I felt safe.

My heart was broken for these kids. That life is what they've always known and even with help and education, it would be so hard to change their lives. We were told that drugs and prostitution are very prevalent there. To look into the eyes of those little girls and know that is the environment that they will more than likely grow up in almost brought tears to my eyes. It was incredibly hard to get back on the bus and leave. I don't think these kids are hopeless at all. They just need love...just look at their faces. I think that says it all.
Below is a short video clip I took with my camera at the basin of "The Hole."

Upon my return home, I found this video that Harold from Morgantown posted. It breaks my heart. Pray for the kids in "The Hole." Pray for their safety and health.

All in a hard days work...

We spent all day yesterday and today working on a church that Cross Point began sponsoring a few years ago. The pastor of the church, Moise has been working along side us. Pray for him as he continues this effort, even after we leave.

We have put a lot of sweat and hard work into tying rebar, lugging buckets of sand, pulling water from the well, and mixing cement. It's definitely not glorious work. But even just the two days we've been working so far, we can see that the second story walls are almost completed. It's amazing to see that when we all come together, we can accomplish so much.

Tonight, I pray for strength.

And if you're curious about how we actually hauled hundreds of buckets of sand and water, check out Pete's video "The Journey of the Bucket."

Flexibility will be key!

7.15.08

How quickly we are welcomed into the Dominican lifestyle. It's only been a few hours since we arrived in Santiago and already we are discovering how much we take for granted. Within our first six hours here, we are already without water. Simple tasks like brushing your teeth, washing your hands, washing your face, and taking out contacts all require a little extra time and thought.

We went out to eat empanadas tonight. On the way back to the dorm, some people who have been here before were talking about one trip where there was no water for three days and electricity would be turned off at night. While I am trying to prepare myself for that, I am hoping it's not something we will deal with this trip. I'll be honest. If I have to go for three days without showering, I'm going to be pretty foul.

Tonight, I pray for flexibility!

In the Dominican Republic...

7.15.08
Wow! The Dominican Republic. First impressions...it's hot...and noisy.

I'm not sure how hot it is, but it feels incredibly HOT!

We had a short "orientation" this afternoon and after it was over, we were told we had a couple hours before dinner. Almost all of us girls came back to the dorm and crashed. I'm sure it had nothing to do with being at the airport at 4:30 this morning! :)

I woke up a few minutes ago, and laid here looking out the second story window down into the city streets of Santiago. Already, I can tell that the culture is so different. Laying here, I can hear the sounds of life being lived outside. Mopeds and motor scooters, honking horns, kids playing catch, some man selling fruit out of his truck, a baby crying, people speaking Spanish, passing cars, more mopeds...

Everything is so loud outside and the sounds come sweeping in our windows with the wind. Yet almost everyone around me is sleeping soundly. What a great way to start the week.

"Here I am"

So, here it is...6pm the night before I leave. I am absolutely nowhere near ready at this point. I've got piles of clothes laid out with an idea of everything I need to take with me. Anyone want to come help me pack?!

I'm definitely starting to feel anxious. I'm not incredibly sure what to expect, but I'm welcoming it with open arms. Yesterday at church, Pete discussed the story of Abraham and Isaac. It takes great faith to say "Here I am," especially when you have no idea what God has in store for you. When I first started attending Cross Point, I remember watching the video of the group who had just traveled to the Dominican Republic. I wanted to go...I was ready to sign up right then. Last summer, I didn't have the PTO to go, or availability with work. I took an information packet home for the spring trip, but never ended up doing anything about it. I felt like God has been slowly preparing me for this for a while. I feel like I jumped one hurdle by signing up for the trip. Now, I stand here saying "Here I am, Lord" hoping that I have the faith to listen and follow.

If you want to follow our trip, check it out...
http://www.crosspointmissions.tv

DR Countdown...One week!

The realization that we leave for the DR in one week came crashing down on me today. I haven't really received a lot of information and I don't feel like I'm prepared. Of course, I realize that it's the over-analyzer coming out in me.

I am super excited about this trip! I know that God is going to do amazing things and I can't wait to be a part of it.

I'm ready!

I'm going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with a group from my church. I'm so excited! It's something I've been wanting to do for a while now, but I didn't have the resources to go. But this summer, I'm all in. Everything came together like clock work to allow me the opportunity to go, so I'm ready!

Apparently, I've almost raised all of my money. It's unbelieveable to me, considering I didn't sign up until the week the money was due. But I'm incredibly excited about going! We will be gone from July 15-22nd. Only one month away!

Back in the saddle again...

For a while, I kind of tapped out of the blogging world. There were days when I felt like posting, but couldn't quite muster up the energy. I had a lot of life change that took me out of commission. I would occasionally post something over the past 2 years, but for the most part, I've been out of the game. So I thought I'd pony up and get back in the saddle. We'll see how long it lasts.

They're BAAAAAACK!

I've been waiting for this my whole life!!! Okay, for the past 15 years! I don't know about you, but I LOVED IT!!! My only question is...why wasn't I camping out in the streets of NYC in my NKOTB sleeping bag waiting for this moment?!

Struggles With Love

This is from my pastor's blog (which is pretty great, by the way!)

Sometimes I Struggle With Love
I had the opportunity to be a part of a couple of weddings this weekend. As usual, 1 Corinthians 13 was one of the selected scriptures. Derek and Bonnie asked me to read it in the Message translation and I loved it. I have read it a few times since then and it gave me a fresh perspective on this passage.

1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

So here is what I want us to discuss today. When you read through the list which aspect of “love” do you struggle with?

For me it was, “love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have”. I have struggled with this on and off throughout my entire life. I’m trying to understand that part of loving God and loving people is learning to be “content” with who I am and what I have.

As long as I WANT your personality, your house, your gift mix, your bank account, your family situation, your health, your job, your friends….your life, than I can’t really love you in the way God has designed me to love you.

So there’s my struggle. How about you?

join the conversation,
Pete
http://withoutwax.tv/2008/05/13/sometimes-i-struggle-with-love/

I often find myself reading his blogs thinking “Is he writing this specifically for me?” Today was definitely one of those days. I definitely struggle with “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.” I feel like I constantly want something I don’t have. But the one that really hit home was “Trusts God always.” Sure, it’s easy to trust that God has a plan for our lives. But when something doesn’t go the way we want it to, or we don’t like the valleys and mountains we have to walk through to get there, sometimes it’s more familiar to try to trust our own instincts. I find myself asking the question of how we get out of that spot. How am I testing my faith daily? And am I really trusting, or just wishfully hoping that things will turn out a certain way?

In honor of this weekend

In honor of the Kentucky Derby, I'd like for everyone to check out "My Ol' Kentucky Home" at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=5887867. I'm showing my roots. :)

A Little Reflection on 2007...

As I prepare to spend my 3rd New Years eve in Nashville, I'm reminded of the past years...and how far I've come. I think often times it's easy to forget where we started versus where we are now. When I moved to Nashville over two years ago, I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't have any money. And I had very few friends in the big city. But when I look at where I am now, I can't help but be thankful. Lots of big things (good and bad) have have happened in my life over the past couple years and last new years eve, I was very excited to enter into 2007!

Let's reflect, shall we...Highlights of 2007Last New Years Eve - The random party that got thrown at our apartment. Lots of great friends, good times, plenty of little weenies, burbon balls, and other great food. Good times all around! Vacation with Robyn to visit Jaclyn - This trip included my first trip up the east coast (or at least part of it). I got to add Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Deleware, and Connecticut to the states I've visited. This also was my first trip to the Big Apple (WHICH I LOVED)! As well as my first trip to DC. This was definitely an amazing vacation!

Buying my first home - This was definitely a huge step for me! For all those who believe I'm afraid of committment...HA! This was something I was hoping would happen this year...and I made it work! And so far, so good (except for my ridiculously loud upstairs neighbors...oh the joys of being a condo owner)! It actually feels like a home and I love it.

Great concerts - I went to a bizillion amazing shows this year! I know I'd have a lot more money in the bank...but each was worth it. Here's some of the best...Butch Walker Andy Davis, Matt Wertz, Dave Barnes, Ben Folds, Justin Timberlake, The Shins, Patty Griffin, Damien Rice, Pete Yorn, John Mayer, Ben Gibbard, Matt Kearney, Nathan Angelo, Amos Lee, Naughty by Nature, AugustanaAny time I've spent with friends, finally finding a position at work that I actually like, time spent with my family, finding great new music...

Mario, Pacman, and Tetris...Oh my!

This weekend, I went to Opry Mills. There in the middle of the mall was this booth with huge tvs selling plug and play game systems. The kind with all the best games...Super Mario Bros, Pacman, Tetris. Those are 3 of my favorite video games ever! Truly amazing. I have no idea why I convinced myself that I needed it in my life. And the fact that it was on sale probably didn't help talk me out of it. So...I did what any great American consumer would do...I bought it! But it really is amazing. I played Tetris for about 5 1/2 hrs straight last night. True story. No joke. I seriously wish I was kidding. :)And I wish I could tell you that right now I'm not contemplating going home for my lunch break just to play. But I'm afraid I might not ever come back to work. Do you think I have a problem?

My longest relationship yet...

Today, I celebrate my 2 year anniversary with Nashville. It's hard to believe that it was two years ago that I had my Explorer and U-Haul crammed with all of my belongings and pulled into my new apt ready to start a new life. It's been one amazing ride, that's for sure! I remember my first couple months here, I was eating peanut butter sandwiches every day. I didn't care, because I was here…and I was following the dream. I didn't have a plan once I got here…I was just going to find a job and make it work. And that's what I did! It was one month after I moved, that I started my job at GHS. I'm constantly asked "What brought you to Nashville?" I honestly don't know. I've just always loved it. There's something about big cities – the lights, the night life, the atmosphere, the big buildings. But Nashville has never felt too big…it's the best of both worlds. It's still grounded in it's southern roots. It's still got that southern feel that just feels like home. And I LOVE it! I've been in my new home for two weeks now. It's amazing!! Every day it feels more and more like home. Thanks for everyone who has supported me…told me that everything would be okay…helped me hold my head a little higher when things got rough. I'm thinking that this relationship will continue…

Just a small town girl...livin' in a lonely world...

I've been in a huge funk for the last few days. I don't know what is going on with me, but I think the gist of is has to do with a lot of stress in my life. I love change, but I've been in the midst of a fairly large one. And it's one I've definitely been struggling with. Last night I was in tears wondering if I made a horrible decision. Now, If you know me at all, you know that I rarely cry. But last night...I was pretty much a mess. I LOVE my condo! And I'm so excited that the big dream of actually owning a home finally came true. But, there's been a lot of unexpected emotions that have come along with it. The first few nights I stayed there, it was almost unbelieveable. But, it's a lot lonelier than I ever imagined it would be. I'm a very social person, but I cherish my alone time. I thought it would be nice to be able to come home from work every night and not have to deal with people...but honestly...it just makes me want to be around people even more. I've spent 11 days in my new home and it still doesn't quite feel like "home." Yesterday, I was having a bad day and when I got home last night, I was feeling very "homesick." Not necessarily in the traditional sense. But I really miss my mom (she's been in Kuwait since the first of Aug). And without her around like she has been the last couple months, it's really made me miss my dad a whole lot. On top of all that, I've also been feeling very blah about work. I seem to start struggling everytime I get bored. I also have no idea where my journal is and it's killing me. I'm sure it's in one of the five boxes I haven't unpacked yet. If anyone wants to come play with me, let me know!

Oh, those summer nights...

I know it's only August 31st and summer isn't offically over yet. But as I was driving home from work tonight, I couldn't help but notice it's not too far off. The temperature is finally begining to drop (at least a little), and the leaves are already starting to change. It's going to be a beautiful fall. I've always been a huge fan of summer. I think mostly because it meant no school, and of course, my birthday. What's not fun about those two very important things to a little kid? But in recent years I've definitely learned to embrace the fall. It's a season of change...and for the last few years, that's definitely held true in my life. I moved to Nashville in the fall of 2005. It's hard to believe that it was almost two years ago. It was definitely a change I welcomed with open arms. But last August, I had to accept an even bigger change in my life...the loss of my father. I don't really think it's something that you ever really "get used to," but rather it becomes a huge part of who you are, and who you become.

As much as I want to hold on to the summer, I really think I'm ready to accept the changes that the fall will bring. Last week, I signed a contract on a condo and will hopefully be closing at the end of September. I'm excited about starting a new adventure and a new chapter in my life...even if it means no concerts, Starbucks, or fun...

But at least for the weekend, I'm going to try to send the summer off with a proper farewell...
Feel free to comment with your own summer favorites...

My itunes playlist - Summer Celebration

Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
Summertime - Bon Jovi
Holiday In The Sun - Weezer
Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly & The Family Stone
Rockin' The Suburbs - Ben Folds
Summertime Blues - The Beach Boys
Holiday - Madonna
Summer Girls - LFO
Rollin' In My 5.0 - Vanilla Ice
Cruel Summer - Bananarama
Back Where I Come From - Kenny Chesney
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
Summertime - Josh Rouse
California - Phantom Planet
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffet
Summer Nights - John Travolta & Olivia Newton John
Copa Cabana - Barry Manilow
Crusin' - Smokey Robinson
Endless Summer Nights - Richard Marx
Pleasant Valley Sunday - The Monkees
Surfin' USA - The Beach Boys

That’s my life...

If everything goes as planned, I will be signing a contract on a condo tomorrow. I am excited and nervous. Everyone keeps giving me a hard time about my committment issues.

I went to the dentist yesterday. He thought I was 19. I just laughed and said "Not quite."

Reese's put out a special edition of peanut butter and banana creme Reese's cups. Someone brought me one to try. They made me want to gag.

I got my tires rotated and balanced yesterday. I think they forgot the balance part...because something was not right once my car hit 65mph. I took it back, it should be fixed when I get off work.

I went to Bowling Green last night to have dinner with my brother. It's a little over an hour drive. I got on the interstate to come home last night and it looked like a parking lot. It took me 3 1/2 hrs to get home. It was way past my bedtime when I got home. I was definitely cranky.

Our electricity went off sometime during the night. I overslept...but only by about 30 minutes. Thank goodness for that internal alarm clock.

I am working the front desk at our office right now. I don't know how I got asked to do it, but working the front desk is really like a vacation. I just have to sit here and answer the phone. It's only rang 3 times in the 3 hours I've been sitting here.

I need to find things to do that don't cost money.

Britany Spears was suppose to record a duet with Justin Timberlake, but dropped out at the last minute. Don't worry JT, I'll come sing with you!

Seriously pathetic...

I was sitting at home trying to find something to do this afternoon or someone to hang out with. I made a couple phone calls, but no one answered. As I hung up the phone, my itunes playlist started playing "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. True Story! Coincidence? Or fate?

Roadtrippin'

Update from the road
7/3/07
*The roadtrip to get to Jaclyn's went well. We ended up getting to Va around 2am.
*This morning, we slept in and went to Old Town Alexandria. It was so cute! I have lots of pics, but I probably won't have them up until later.
*Right now we are trying to decide if we want to spend the 4th of July in New York City or DC. I think they're both very great options! :)
*I am soooooo excited about NYC!!!!!!!!!!!!

7/5/07
*We spent the 4th of July in NYC!! It was amazing. Hopefully I'll have pics up soon!
*I can now check off MD, CT, NY, and DE off the list of states I've visited!
*We spent about 8 hrs in NYC and about 10 hrs on the road. But it was definitely worth it!

7/6/07
*DC was a blast! Even in the heat.
*I loved the Albert Einstein statue chillin' in the park!
*Tomorrow we will spend another 10 hours on the road. Good times!

Some good advice...

Some advice my uncle sent me..."What happens is that as life moves on, goals and desires adapt to new knowledge. The hope would be that the new directions are advances as opposed to lateral or regressive moves. I think you are smart enough to know the difference. Just keep evaluating your objectives and make sure they match who you really are. "

Getting back on my feet

The last couple weeks have been pretty weird...and I haven't really felt like blogging. I don't really know what to write. So I thought I'd type out a prayer I journaled in the middle of the night after I found out my dad passed away.

August 16 3:30am
Lord, I'm terrified. I know that me, Nate, and Corey will be okay. I just need you to hold our hands through this. Please remind each of us how much you love us during this time. I know that Dad is proud of each one of us and I pray that we remember just how much he loved us. These next few days will not be easy. I just ask that you help us through them. Let each of us know that together we will get through it...
Remind me to laugh at the little things. Allow me to appreciate and savor the good times. Most of all, thank you for blessing me with an amazing father for 25 years. Someone who raised me in a Christian home and so many times taught me what it meant to live by faith. Not that he was perfect, but in my eyes, he was always pretty close...

And here's an excerpt from another entry on the day of the funeral.

August 18
Today was hard. I don't think you can ever fully prepare yourself to lose someone. I am so grateful that I am so loved. I'm glad that my brothers have friends that they can count on. I pray that we always remember that we have each other, and that we will be there for each other, no matter what happens.

There are some stories that I'd like to write about before I forget all the details, but I'm not up for it right now.

Trading Spaces...

Lately it seems like I've been wishing to trade rolls with pretty much anyone. Sometimes life isn't as bad as we make it out to be.

Earlier today, we got the call saying that we needed to get to the hospital as soon as we could because they weren't sure how much longer my dad was going to make it. I was terrified that my brothers and I weren't going to make it in time. I was scared that Corey, my youngest brother wasn't going to get to see him.

I was told by a pastor at the hospital today that I needed to tell my dad how much I love him and that I'm proud of him. I just pray that he really does know how much I love him and how glad I am to have him as a father. I've never had a bad relationship with him. They say that your human father often has a reflection of how you view your heavenly father. I praise the Lord that I had a good influence. Someone who was able to raise me in a positive light. Someone who could discipline out of love. Someone who always told me how proud he was of me. Someone who always told me and showed me that he loved me. I feel thankful because it's more than a lot of people get.

Emotional, me?

So, I guess no one can comment about me being unemotional. I've been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster lately. I think it's because I bottle my emotions up and just add to them until they spill over. The bottle definitely had it's fill today. One thing set the trigger and the fountain of tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't gain composure at all. I like to think most of the time I'm pretty strong, when in reality...lately, I've been so weak. I think maybe I just need a big hug!

Just call me "Pink," cause I'm Mizundastood

I feel like I'm living in this weird "in-between" and "what if" world. No one really knows anything...and it's weird how fast, but slow everything is happening.

I seriously have no idea what I'd do if my uncle wasn't around to help make decisions and talk to people. It's really taking a toll on me being so far away.

I feel like I've been incredibly misunderstood lately. It's not that I'm in a bad mood, or that I'm mad. I guess I've just had a tendency to get really frustrated lately. I know that I can't expect people to read my mind, but there's not many people I care to discuss it with.

On another note, Jaclyn gets home soon and I'm super excited to see her.

Finally...a break!

Sometimes we just need a break away from every normal thing we know. I've been so exhausted lately. I've been waking up late, getting to work late, and being frustrated with myself because of it all. I've been in need of a break in a major way, but I'm using all of my PTO to go home to visit my dad every weekend.

Today, I got a treat! I left work at 2pm after feeling like crap all weekend. I called Sarah on my way home to see if she was up for going to the pool. Luckily, she was home and game for the pool. So we laid out and went swimming. It was amazing! I've been wanting to hang out at the pool for over a month now! Then, Mark joined us and we went to Buca de Beppo for dinner...all before 5:30. I came home, watched tv, played online...and I'm going to bed and it's only 9:20!!!

I love today! It was very worry-free...which is defintiely what I needed!

Hospice?

Today, Dad is saying that he wants to do Hospice. Dennis, my uncle, is meeting with the social worker tomorrow to discuss options. I'm feeling a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and I have no idea what to do. I'm so stressed out.

I know about God's perfect timing and all of that, but it's hard to accept.

Okay, I'll admit that I'm a 12 year old girl...

Okay, not really...but I will admit that I absolutely love High School Musical. It's okay, but don't judge til after you've watched it.

I Want to Break Free

Dad is still not doing well. I'm not real sure how his spirits are, but I'm guessing not good. I'm kind of at loss for what to say or do. I want to show him how much I care, but I have no idea how to do that through words. Nothing really seems enough right now. I'm just trying to do my best. I feel like I'm in a trance...going from one day to the next.

I want a break so bad. And that makes me feel so selfish. I just want a break from acting like everything is okay. I'm just tired of listening to everyone else's problems (especially the petty ones).

"We're adults. When did that happen...and how do we make it stop?"

"Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult is totally overrated. I mean, seriously...adulthood is responsibility" -Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

So, I was just watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy from season 1. The above quote rings pretty true. Most of the time I don't feel old enough to have all the responsibility I have...and most of it, I've had for quite some time. It was so much easier to be a kid. All you had to worry about was what time to come in for dinner. Life was playing...having fun. Having a bad day was when your mom cooked something gross for dinner. In my case, it usually had to do with peas.
It'd be great if one day, we could just act like kids. Just to have one day where you don't have to worry about money, sickness, or paying bills, or work, or family problems, or anything else that is constantly on our mind through the course of the day. I want to turn off my cell phone, avoid checking my email, stop checking myspace...and I want to remember how simple life can be. I don't think life was meant to be as hard as we sometimes make it out to be. I just need a reminder of how easy it can be.

I want to play old school Nintendo.

I want to catch lightning bugs.

I want to ride a bike with a friend.

I want to dress up and put on makeup.

I want to eat ice cream for breakfast.

I want to go to a park and feed the ducks and swing on a swingset.

I want to finger paint.

I want to play with sidwalk chalk.

I want to make a masterpiece out of playdoh.

I want to play in a sandbox.

Slowly, I'm going to start checking things off my list. But I might need some play dates to accomplish them all anytime soon. Any takers?

Trivia Point Tally

trivia point tally
chris..................63166
robyn.................64666
andrea...............55166
me.....................23000
crystal................16000
ExBF..................10000
emily..................13000
philip...................9000
ryan.....................6000
big mike lewis.....4500
stephen................4000
cynthia.................3000
jaclyn....................6000
samantha.............1000
alyssa...................1000
heather.................1000

The rough road ahead

So, I've had my eye on this leather bound journal at Barnes and Noble for about two years now. Hopefully all this journaling and blogging will save me thousands of dollars in therapy when I'm older. :)

There's just so much that has been going on. I need to escape from reality for a while. My brain constantly goes. I wish I could turn it off. I can't sleep. I toss and turn. I'm stressed out. I'm exhausted...physically and emotionally and spiritually. I'm gaining weight. I feel like I'm out of control. There is so much responsibility right now and I don't want to deal with it. I want to crawl up in a hole and push it aside. I need people around me who can comfort me...and not ask much of me right now.

For the past month and a half, my dad has been in and out of the hospital. He's not good. And when I say that, I'm not sure what I mean by it, other than he's really not well. I don't know what to tell people when they ask. And no one really wants to hear the answer anyway. And I certainly would rather not talk about it. But I think part of talking about it is dealing with it. So I'm going to continue.

I feel like I really have closed myself off from most people. Even the people closest to me don't understand. And when I do try to talk about how I feel, I can tell their uncomfortable. So I've retreated back to my hole...trying to deal with it all myself. Which I know isn't good.

I mean, I'm talking about my dad...slowly getting worse and worse by the days and weeks. The man who raised me and loved me. The man I look up to and adore with every fiber of my being. I have amazing memories of times with my dad. Catching my first fish. Picking out my mom's Christmas present and telling her it was a dead buzzard (apparently I had a skewed since of humor even at 4 yrs old). Picking strawberries and eating them til I had a bellyache. Watching TV...especially Wheel of Fortune, MASH, and Nashville Star. Taking family trips. Going to the movies. Eating at Po' Folks and having him buy me a moon pie for dessert.

I don't really know how to prepare myself for the inevitable. I don't know what to do. This is definitely one of the worst feelings ever. It's not going to be easy. I guess I'm just bracing myself for now.

I just want him to know how much I love him...how much he means to me...that I know he tried his best, or the best he knew how.

I know the road ahead is a rough one. I just need prayer and faith to endure...

Happy Birthday to me!

First of all, I'd like to say thanks for all my birthday messages! It was so fun to hear from everyone! I got phone calls from people I haven't talked to in a long time. It was nice...refreshing. For those of you who didn't remember...it was Thursday!!!!

It definitely didn't feel like my birthday. Maybe because this is the first year in my life I didn't get to have a birthday party. Maybe because I spent most of the day on the road to South Carolina. Maybe it's because there is a lot of other stuff going on in my life right now. Maybe it's because I overanalyzed it. It was just nice to be on the open road. Away from work...away from problems and worries...to just be temporarily disconnected from life.

I got to see old friends. It was very refreshing and very much needed right now. I got to sit through some really fun elements of camp. It really made me miss having a free summer to give up to work camp...but it was also great to be on the outside and just kind of enjoy it and soak it up.

On a different note, my dad has been in the hospital for over two weeks now. I actually cut my SC visit a couple days short to go visit him. He's not making a lot of progress and the doctors really aren't sure what's causing the problems. He's having lots of tests run, but there's no new news at the moment.
So I ask that those of you who know me, please continue to pray for me...pray for my dad and his health. Your prayers and support mean a whole lot to me right now.

(Yes...that's me in the picture above. I was pretty excited to be getting that cabbage patch premie!)

1200 miles in 4 days

First of all, I'd like to say thanks for all my birthday messages! It was so fun to hear from everyone! It made my day to check my email and myspace accounts and have tons of new stuff. If you haven't noticed...I love comments!

I spent most of my birthday on the road to South Carolina. It's actually still a lot for me to process, but I'm going to try to highlight a few parts of my trip.

It started off well. I downloaded new music and new podcasts onto the ipod before my big adventure. It was a fairly enjoyable roadtrip. Nothing really major to report. It was just nice to be on the open road. Away from work...away from problems and worries...to just be temporarily disconnected from life.

I got to see old friends. It was very refreshing and very much needed right now. I got to sit through some really fun elements of camp. It really made me miss having a free summer to give up to work camp...but it was also great to be on the outside and just kind of enjoy it and soak it up. I got to listen some great words of wisdom. And it made me realize some stuff about my own life. Have you ever heard something so many times...it's something you know, but one day, it just clicks.

My heart was sad because I realized that I'm not happy in my current situation. I wish things were different, but they're not. I was hoping by now things would change, but they haven't and it makes it really hard. I was talking with my roommate last night and she was talking about someone in her life being faced with a huge disappointment recently and apparently they're having a really hard time overcoming it. I made a comment and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized it was somewhat like preaching to myself. I said sometimes in our lives, we have to be faced with something difficult...a major cross road so that we see that one thing that has been there the whole time, but we've been overlooking. At that point we are able to see it and realize exactly what needs to happen. I know its vague, and it might not make a lot of sense, but it made a big light go off in my mind. I heard some great words of encouragement this weekend. Some from dear friends, some from strangers offering insight...all of it was very valued. It was encouraging to just take a couple days to get away from everything.

On a different note, my dad has been in the hospital for over two weeks now. I actually cut my SC visit a couple days short to go visit him. He's not making a lot of progress and the doctors really aren't sure what's causing the problems. He's having lots of tests run, but there's no new news at the moment.

So I ask that those of you who know me, please continue to pray for me...pray for my dad and his health. Your prayers and support mean a whole lot to me right now. I'm going to keep trudging along the path and hopefully sometime soon, well see where God wants me.

I Miss Chris...

Two Words
SOUL PATROL!
There's no McPhever here, that's for sure!

Gone...

I think America is dumb for voting for Katharine McFAKER. Chris definitely didn't deserve to go home! I'm so sad...he was my boy! My hatred for Katharine grows...if she wins, I'm for real going to be pissed. She was the worst one last night for sure. The look on their faces when they announced it...and Ryan made me crazy with the way he did it. Did you see the look on Chris' face? He was totally caught off guard. And Katharine even knew she should have gone home...she was totally shocked. Even Simon said she deserved to go home. Ugh. I hate that I'm this invested in these people. I've been watching and rooting for 9 weeks now...and then, we all get crapped on. It's all turned in to a big popularity contest. Why did I ever start watching American Idol? Blah!

bad tv is great

So I posted this on myspace as well...so for those of you reading both...read it again. :)

I don't know what's wrong with the sick world we live in...but David Blaine was going to be drowned alive tonight for all of America to see. My roommate said "I don't know why anyone would want to watch that." My reply..."I don't either, but I sure am one of those people." Yes...I know it's strange. I can't explain why I wanted to watch it. It was pretty horrific actually. I mean...how disappointed would you be if you wanted to break a record and hold your breath underwater in a plastic bubble for 9 minutes, but you had to have the divers rescue you after 7:08? I'd think it's be a pretty humiliating experience. I guess I'm not too terribly disappointed in myself for only being able to hold my breath for 1 minute. Of course he did break a record for being underwater for 177 hours...but then again his skin is falling off.

While I'm talking about subjecting myself to awful tv...I definitely watched the series finale of 7th Heaven. It's like a train wreck, but I continue watching. Why? I have no clue. It's got to be one of the longest running crappy shows ever. But little Simon all grown up about to get married...why wouldn't I want to watch? I mean...can you say DRAMA!!!!

Derby Day

So it was a little weird not actually being in Ky when the Derby ran today. I guess it's always been a big deal for me and my family...I guess because we're from Kentucky and it always was there. Growing up so close to Louisville probably also helped contribute. I've grown up loving the Derby. Just something about it makes me happy.

I remember watching the derby with my dad when I was little...It was 1989 when Sunday Silence won. It was my dad's horse, and therefore it was my horse as well. I remember cheering at the tv waiting for our horse to win. Then, it happened. Sunday Silence won the derby...and I was so excited. My dad even gave me a dollar. That was the first time I actually remember watching the derby.

This year, I sat in my apt wishing I was with people who would get as excited as I was. I always pick my horses based on the names I like...this years choice was Cause to Believe...and second on my list...was Barbaro. I didn't place any bets this year because I didn't have a real way to. Maybe next year, I'll just go to the Derby. Anyone game?

sadly, i am an addict.

so, i bought some new movies...a lot of them. is it an addiction? sometimes i wonder. but i bought 7 and i got them for 5.99 each. so i think it's a steal. anyway...i thought i could make movie trivia out of it. here's the 7 movies i bought...ready, set, go...


1. “I need to talk to you. Every time I call you're either taking a bath, washing your hair or you're out of the country. That was a good one, by the way”

2. “Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter.”

3. “Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”

4. “I hope you enjoy the gloves you bought yourself.” “Oh, I'm sure I will, I usually enjoy my own thoughtfulness.”

5. “I don't care how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.”

6. “George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?”

7. “What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets.”
“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

and good times were had...

yay! i love fireworks!!!
me and brooke packing up to go home...

picnic movie trivia...

we had a picnic luncheon today at work. so todays theme is picnics. 1000pts for each correct answer. ready, set, go...

1. I don't blend in at a family picnic
chris - batman forever

2. All those kids yours mister, or is this a picnic?
chris - cheaper by the dozen

3. Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket
chris - love actually

4. Milking a yak is no picnic, but once you pick out all the hairs it's very nutritious

5. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world.
robyn - forrest gump

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

i'm really not a fan of mondays. blah. the title of this post is up for grabs...2000pts to the person who can correctly identify what movie it's from. GO!

This weekend was actually pretty amazing. I was really lazy and I loved it. robyn’s office is throwing a double baby shower and she got put in charge of buying gifts. So on Friday night, I went baby shopping with robyn to buy gifts. I got to shop for the boy baby and she shopped for the girl baby. It was a lot of fun! I know she didn’t think so, but I loved it.

This weekend was a dawson’s creek fest at our apartment. I got season 6 in the mail on Tuesday and I spent all weekend in capeside. I must admit, it was a pretty nice vacation. I can’t get enough of all the growing up that occurs, the drama, love triangles, and coming of age…man, I love it.

Robyn and I also dyed easter eggs. I haven’t done that in years. But it was so fun! my favorite was a dark blue one I made for Jaclyn that said “jammin’ on the one.” (Name the tv show that comes from for 500pts. )

So all around it was a good weekend…very relaxing…very calming. I’m not ready for the week to begin yet. Especially when the week always starts with Monday.

one week ago

so one week ago tonight, something very blog worthy happened. i jotted down some notes after the event so that i would remember everything that i needed to write about.

last monday when i got off work, i had a voicemail message from my friend rich. he was calling to tell me that he was going to be playing downtown at this showcase and that if i wasn't doing anything i should come down. i went home, fixed some dinner and asked my roommates if they were interested in going with me. we decided on that random monday night that there wasn't anything else going on, so we were in. around 8:15 or so we headed out toward downtown and we had no idea what kind of adventure we were in for. seriously...it's definitely the top of my random list for this year...maybe even the last couple years.

first of all, the whole way there, my roommates talked about nothing but professional wrestling. i had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. but they found a way to talk about it the entire way there. we drove past the place at first and had to turn around in the "gentleman's club." we found the place and parked the car and got out. before we ever even set foot in the warehouse, the craziness had already begun.

there were a lot of ridiculously crazy sets. there was a man who had a conference call on stage praising the name of Jesus. there was a woman who couldn't sing very well. there was a girl who kept playing and i didn't ever think would stop. there was an all male group who jaclyn referred to as "philips, craig, and dean."

and then, i saw my idol. there was this old lady running a video camera right in front of us. she had to have been about 60. she had a water bottle attached to her hip with this weird contraption. i leaned over and told jaclyn that i wanted to be her when i grow up. we laughed about it a lot. then, later...we saw her beating herself with a rubber mallet. it was very strange.

there was a lady in the corner painting a picture. at first i thought it was going to be like bob ross and she was going to actually have some beautiful painting. but you know when bob takes a big brush stroke and you never think it'll turn out after his big screw up? well, hers never made that transition into masterpiece. at first it looked like an ocean. then at one point it looked like a horse head. then it turned out to be this green warior. yeah, don't ask...cause no one around us knew either.

we were getting restless and rich still hadn't played yet. it was getting really late and we were debating on leaving. but for some reason everytime we went to leave, something else forced us to stay.

i met this guy who was exteremly weird. he asked me if i was on myspace. i hated to tell him the truth. but he knew i was rich's friend. eww.

At one point, we realized there was food. jaclyn made her way to go get some, but all she came back with was a handful of chips. she put one in her mouth and gave me a disgusting look. she looked at me and said "that chip was wet." eww.

there was a gospel reggae group that sang a song...they were actually pretty good until they busted out the "salute da king" chant accompanied by some weird hand motions.

this crazy guy came up to jaclyn and said "i've been dying to ask you this all night. were you in the crucible at belmont?" at that point i was doing everything i could to not crack up in the poor boys face. even after she told him that it wasn't her, it's like he didn't believe it and he kept asking if it was her...or if she had a twin. he was soo strange.

then, finally, after we'd been there for 4 hours, the best part of the evening came. rich did a set with his friends and it was absolutely amazing. it was sort of folkish...with a cello. very cool, calming stuff. it was neat to get away from the craziness of the evening and just sit back and see people worshipping. after that, rich did a set himself and closed down the evening. it's always fun to see people i know use their God-given talents to worship. it's always such a humbling experience to see them in that light.

it was a great night...

so, it's been a long time

so i decided it's been too long since i've blogged, especially since blogger.com wasn't even in my address pull down menu anymore. has it been that long?

i guess i could go through the excuses of..."i'm too busy." or "i don't have anything interesting to write." or maybe even "i've lost interest." but the truth is, none of those are true.

there's a lot of thoughts rolling around in this head of mine. some probably don't really need to be exposed in such a raw form as blogging...but others...they're just waiting to be written out. i guess i'm just not sure if i'm up for the challenge. so i guess i need to start slow. so that's what i'm going to do.

kind of like jumping into a freezing cold pool. at first you just stick in your pinkie toe. then you have to make the decision of whether you want to jump in completely or if you want to slowly walk yourself in until eventually, you're up to your neck and the water doesn't feel as cold. i guess right now i'm going to stick in my pinkie toe. then i'll make that next decision of whether i'll be taking a step back to prepare for my cannonball.

spring is here and the weather i love is right around the corner. today (casual friday) i even wore a teeshirt and flip flops to work. let me just say that my little toes were happy to not be restricted in dress shoes. it was nice. i love fridays. but at the moment i'm not a fan of tgi fridays...which is where we went for lunch. my tummy hasn't been very happy with me since then. blah.

random stuff of interest...
*my benefits start tomorrow...and no, that's not an april fools joke. so if i break my leg tonight, i'll only have to wait til midnight to go to the ER. :)

*jaclyn has been gone forever...i'm ready for her to be home. i miss her random stories that make me smile. but i'll be picking her up from the airport tomorrow...yay!

*i transported the 3rd bed for our apt this weekend. robyn finally made the important choice to get a bed, so champ and i helped out.

*speaking of champ (my explorer)...her check engine light has been on since i took her to the shop to get a new battery and atlernator. it's been on for a while and it won't go off. she's sad about it.

*i added a bunch of new 80s music to my ipod that makes me very happy. i can't ever get enough of the 80s. but seriously...it's amazing.

picture pages!

me and brooke in front of the river before getting ready

me and molly, the flower girl.

me and brooke right before the wedding started

james, brooke and me at the reception

trivia time!

once again, it's time for movie trivia! 1000pts for each question. there is a theme...and it's 2000pts for whoever can guess it. as always...NO CHEATING! have fun!

1. "Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom."
chris - father of the bride

2. "But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I've ever had. Please say something."
emily - the wedding planner

3. "I was a swarthy six year old with sideburns."
andrea - my big fat greek wedding

4. "That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else."
chris - sixteen candles

5. "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
chris - steel magnolias

6. "See... I grew up idolizing guys like Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino because they got a lot of chicks. You know what happened to Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino?"
"Yeah, I read that Fonzie wants to be a director and Barbarino, I think. The mechanical bull movie? I didn't see it yet."
chris - the wedding singer

7. "He's got you on a pedestal and me in his arms. "
andrea - my best friends wedding

8. "I want to destroy this man's life, career everything. I want revenge. Now on a sins scale how bad is that? Can I Hail Mary my way out of that?"
emily - runaway bride

9. "Here's to the husbands who've won you, the losers who've lost you, and the lucky bastards who've yet to meet you."
robyn - the wedding date

10. "I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that."
chris - four weddings and a funeral

emily guessed the theme...weddings

point tally
robyn - 1000
andrea - 2000
emily - 4000
chris - 5000

the clock ticks...i think of you

so i have some good stuff up my sleeve really soon. but first i have to find the time. right now there is none. well...if i didn't require sleep, there'd be plenty. but hopefully in 2 weeks, i'll be able to have time. until then...you might occasionally hear from me.

just a little baby monkey.

isn't he cute?

valentine's trivia

1. "Listen, Rachel, I appreciate your situation but this is Valentine's Day. So, if you don't mind, would you please just go back home?"
robyn - friends

2. "What's the big deal with Valentine's Day? It's a made-up holiday. Nobody even knows who this St. Valentine guy was."
me - mad about you

3. "The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother. How pathetic is that?"
robyn - eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

4. "What? They're my Valentine's day chocolates."
me - saved!

name what tv show or movie the following characters are from...for 2000pts each.

5. jimmy valentine
jaclyn - shag

6. valentine mckee
me - tremors

7. drue valentine
samantha - dawson's creek

8. billy ray valentine
me - trading places (eddie murphy)

9. skeeter valentine
robyn -doug


*BONUS*
10. the person who has had the craziest/worst valentine's day ever gets 8000pts. but it has to be a true story and something that happened to you. i'll be the judge.
andrea - 8000pts

11. the person who has planned the best valentine's day date will get 5000pts.

12. the person who has received the best valentine's day gift will receive 5000pts.
i liked all the stories...so i've divided the pts between:

robyn - 1666
chris - 1666
andrea - 1666

totals
robyn - 5666
andrea - 9666
chris - 1666
samantha - 1000
jaclyn - 1000
me - 5000

jump (for my love)

just because it's a great song...and it's what i'm listening to. and no other reason than that.

i'm getting a little weirded out about the fact that yet another friend is getting married. and this time i can't pass it off as if i don't care. because i do. brooke is the oldest friend i have that i still talk to. i'm so happy for her. but at the same time, i know that marriage will change our friendship. as much as we both don't want it to. that's just the way it is. i've had close friends that have gotten married. actually, almost every one of my closest friends from recent years in my life are married. and in every single circumstance the friendship has changed drastically. actually, i don't really talk to them anymore. and it sucks.

blah. i need someone to jump for my love.

yay!

i definitely own this now. yay!

one of my favorite things ever is unwrapping new dvds. it's great. one more for the collection.

if you haven't seen it yet. seriously...watch it. over and over.

tv trivia #98797

for some reason, there was some confusion last time. only one person can get the correct answer. points will be rewarded accordingly.

name the character who says the quote for 1000pts each.



1. a. "Those pills are dangerous."
b. "Yeah, well, so's geometry! "
a. jaclyn - slater (saved by the bell)
b. robyn - jessie spano

2. "When was it we fell in love? When were eighteen? Sixteen? Maybe ten? I don't know, 'cause the truth is, I can't picture a time when I wasn't in love with you. I always knew you were the one who could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don't question your commitment to us. And I know there's nothing we can't work through. And I accept you as my partner and as my best friend above others. It's a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you've given me. And in honor of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends to love and cherish you forever."
chris - david silver (beverly hills 90210)

3. "No boy should have a $95 shirt unless he is onstage with his four brothers!"
jaclyn - cliff huxtable (the cosby show)

4. " You know, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that. I mean, when you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be. "
chris - pacy (dawson's creek)

5. "When you do everything you can, sometimes more then you thought you could, you've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight. You fought the good fight, Lucy. And tomorrow you'll fight another one. "
chris - carter (e.r.)


jaclyn -2000
robyn - 1000
chris - 3000

the bennies and the benjis

there is something great that happened on friday. right before i was getting ready to leave work, i was told i had to have a meeting with my supervisor. i wasn't sure what it was about at all. it turns out they were offereing me a position to stay at the company where i've been temping since november. i knew it was coming, but i wasn't sure when it was actually going to happen. i've been hearing about it since christmas that it would be possible for me to go on as a full time employee. so as of tomorrow i will be an official employee. i'll have a real, grown up job. it's exciting because i'll get a raise and i'll have benefits. i've never had a grown up job before, so i'm pretty pumped.

sometimes you just need a good, relaxing weekend to just feel a little more relaxed. lately i've felt really overwhelmed with a lot of things i need to get done. my best friend is getting married and so for the next month, i'll be doing the whole "bfotb" (best friend of the bride) obligations. it'll be keeping me busy.

while i was out...

when i came home last night i had a huge surprise waiting for me. i had been complaining about my room. it felt cluttered and ugly and i hated it. i couldn't come up with any other way to rearrange it so i liked it, but i hadn't really tried since i moved either. nanette came up for a visit and yesterday while i was at work her and jaclyn and robyn played "while you were out" with my room. so i came home and my room looked awesome. they had rearranged everything and it looked so great. they even hung my pictures and everything. thanks kids for making my room feel like a room and not just a place to sleep!

myspace

so, i'll start by saying that i'm a sellout. yeah, that's right. i finally got talked into creating a myspace account. and the pressure built and i caved. i don't like it really. it's too cluttered and chaotic. but it's neat because i've been able to reconnect with some people that i haven't talked to in forever. so i guess it'll be used for that. i'll definitely still be using this though. i can't just abandon the blog i've been using for almost 2 years.

answer

okay. points go to robyn. the answer was little women.