the knowledge of a ten year old

sometime in the spring, i found a bookmark i made when i was little. i probably made it at some type of church function, or maybe even at school or something. but it makes me laugh. here's what it says.

(front)

God,

i don't know what

i want to be when

i grow up.

some kids have

plans already.

sometimes i think

i want to be

an artist or doctor

or florist or musician

or missionary or scientist.

Lord, please help me

to trust your guideness.

please tell me little

by little the way to go.

let me find work that

will be right for me.

amen.

(back)

i don't like my

teacher, Lord.

she's mean and

doesn't explain

things right.

and she makes

me feel dumb.

she never gives

us a break.

i wish i had the one

i had last year.

she even made

school seem fun.

help me to get along

with this teacher, Lord.

it makes me laugh because the front part of it still seems like such a big worry for me. i'm guessing i was in fifth grade when i wrote this. i say that because of the whole teacher comment. at ten years old, i was worried about what i was going to be when i grew up. everyone else was already making plans, and i had no clue. at 24, sometimes i feel like i'm still sitting in that same boat. at ten, i knew that i couldn't make a decision based on what i wanted that would affect the rest of my life. i knew i had to pray about it and ask God for help. i knew then that i couldn't do it alone.

it's nice to have these little reminders. when i first found it, i had tucked it away in a bible i haven't been using much, so when i came across it last night it made me laugh again. i know that i have to rely on God and trust his "guideness" to get me through this (and yes, i know guideness isn't a word) and it will all work out in due time.