it didn't start out that way. i couldn't sleep last night, which isn't really unusual anymore...i feel like i haven't slept normal for the past month. but anyway, i couldn't sleep and i woke up late. but apparently everyone slept in today. roy fixed pancakes and bacon and juice just like he used to every weekend. even though i was never around much for these weekend festivities when he was here, it was nice to wake up to the smell of breakfast cooking. i showered and headed off to bowling green. my intention was to pay rent on the storage shed where my life is currently being stored (although hopefully not for too much longer). had an amazing talk with robyn on the way there. i love her for so many reasons, but one reason is because she never tells me to shut up and stop being stupid, but she just lets me talk to get things out of my system. she knows it's exactly what i need. so great to have so many amazing friends who do this for me.
i got to bg and headed to john fisher's house. he was engrossed with some college football game, so we hung out indulged in the great saturday ritual until i couldn't take it anymore. we left, ran some errands, and went to meet matt and cheyenne at barnes and noble. so great to see them both. very weird to think they'll be getting married in less than a year. so great to hang out with friends who actually care about me. standing there talking to them, i actually felt missed. john and matt and our friendship goes back a long way. i remember when they were just silly freshmen who would find any excuse to skip class. two kids you couldn't spend more than 30 minutes with because their attention span only lasted about 5. they've grown so much in the 4 years and now they're two of the godliest guys i know. amazing friends. even after i graduated, they both still took the time to hang out with me, which meant so much because it seemed like most of my friends didn't have time for me. i talked to fisher a lot this summer. crying about problems, my pathetic life, and my insecurities. i don't know many people who would have put up with so much crap from one person, but he sat right there on the other end of the line listening, offering advice. i love my friends! thanks for making me feel missed.
after that, i took fisher home and i went and had dinner with my good friend jeremy. great times. it's was so good to sit at china buffet and talk. as i recall, it's the first place we ate when i got done with camp last year (correct me if i'm wrong). fun times talking and catching up. sharing stories and life plans. man, if we'd had a movie and a couch, we'd have gone right back to the good ole' days.
i love my friends for not losing touch with me, even though i'm not in the same place as they are. i love them for listening to me and making me feel special. i love them for their hugs and smiles. and for so many other reasons.
as refreshing as it was to hang out with old friends, it made me sort of sad. i think the reality that bowling green isn't my home really sank in today. it felt almost foreign to me as i drove around the familiar roads i've traveled so many times. so many things exactly the same as they'd been for the past 5 years, but so many things were changing. reminds me of the outsiders where ponyboy reads the robert frost poem to johnny. "Nothing gold can stay." how true it is. "stay gold, ponyboy. stay gold"
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