sometimes, i think that i think too much. i feel like lately, i've been analyzing things to the point where it's almost annoying. i have a million different options and i have absolutely no idea which way i'm suppose to go. the hardest thing for me right now is that i feel like i don't have anything that's mine. i long for something that is solely mine. something that belongs to me. i'm taking up residence in my mom's basement, which is definitely not mine. i don't have a church to call my own. i don't have a ministry to be involved in. i don't have a job to keep me busy. i don't have a guy to take care of me. i look at my life and i feel like i have nothing. i know that it's not true, but that's the way i feel. i just want something that belongs to me, that i'm proud to call my own. last night on my way back to etown, i had this crazy desire to listen to some old school caedmon's call. so i'm listening to long line of leavers and valleys fill first comes on. i've heard this song a million times, but i could really relate to it last night and i think that it fits this time in my life.
This is the valley that i'm walking through
And if feels like forever since I've been close to you
My friends up above me don't understand why i struggle like i do
My shadow's my only,only companion and at night he leaves too
Down in the valley, dying of thirst
Down in the valley, it seems that i'm at my worst
My consolation is that you baptize this earth
When I'm down in the valley, valleys fill first
Down in this wasteland I miss the mountaintop view
But it's here in this valley that i'm surrounded by you
Though I'm not here by my will it's where your view is the most clear
So I'll stay in this valley if it takes 40 years
And it's like that long Saturday your death and the rising day
When no one wrote a word, wondered is this the end
But you were down there in the well, saving those that fell
Bringing them to the mountain again
i love song lyrics. i love music that you can relate to. what a great way to minister to the soul...through music. it speaks right to my heart. anyway, last night i was talking to bethany and she said that i was just having a time in my life where i'm in my valley. how funny that i'd already listened to that song before she made that comment. i totally see it though. it's good that you realize where you are though? right? that way you don't lose yourself.
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