settling in

yes, it is almost 2 in the morning and i'm laying in bed with my ibook listening to the sound of my air conditioner turn itself off and on as it seems to not be able to find a perfect temperature. my roommate, greer, is asleep and has been for almost an hour. i don't know her that well, but i'm looking forward to what the summer will bring and how much she will come to mean to me once the summer is over. can i just say how truly amazing my staff is?!?! i mean seriously, they are amazing. one of my biggest fears was being on staff with 27 other people. 28 people seems like a huge group to be unified, but it's actually going really well. i know that it's still something that needs to be covered in prayer because satan will try to use it against us if we don't. but honestly, tonight as we had a little bit of "family time" i really did feel like they were part of my family. there are so many people who have been so encouraging to me. so many people that make me laugh. so many people that i believe really care about me already. we had to go around and encourage someone. i picked katie, because she was one of the first people that truly showed me that they genuinely cared for me. robyn had told me about katie, and i was so excited to meet her, but i had no idea how huge of a heart she would have. the third night i was here in charleston, i found out that brooke hall had passed away and it was a rough time for me. being away from home and my friends and family and dealing with the death of someone you had loved so much and worked along side of. katie understood that i needed to be alone, but she wouldn't let me be alone until she prayed with me. she let me cry, and she hugged me and i will always remember how much that meant to me. i've been very emotional since i've been here (which isn't really common for me). the first week i think i cried every night. i felt so hard. i can't really explain it. it was just me coming out of this hard place and being placed in an environment that i knew God had chosen for me, but the transition wasn't easy. i went from working in a cold factory that was very void of the love of Jesus, to being surrounded by a circle of believers who are willing to do whatever it takes to share the love of Christ. it's truly an amazing place to be and i already see God working in the lives of our staff, adults, and kids. i just pray that i continue to be real and vulnerable with God and that i allow him to mold me into the beautiful woman he has created me to be. my dad goes to a conference tomorrow to see about electronic beam radiation. they are saying that it is probably the only thing that will help at this point. he can't do chemo because dosages would be too high, so this seems like a last resort kind of thing. to be honest, it scares the crap out of me. it makes me nervous, and i'm sure that's why i'm not sleeping right now. but that is a huge prayer request! i also continue to pray for staff unity because i know that it will be easy for us to forget about it and allow room for satan to attack. also, i talked to cynthia today, which was amazingly encouraging. i actually get to see her in about 3 weeks because jacksonville doesn't have camp that week. so praise the Lord for that sense of encouragement. it's now after 2 am and i need to sleep, as well as prepare for bible study tomorrow.