tuesday night i went home to put my staff video to dvd and ran into some complications. not really a big deal, but a bit of a frustration since it's already so late in the game. then i go home and as soon as i walk in, my mom tells me that mr. edlin passed away. mr. edlin was a great man who played a grandfatherish role in my life. he was the father of my mom's best friend since her freshman year in high school. my mom grew up with him and his family somewhat taking her in as an "adopted" child. over the years, he definitely served as a father figure to my mother. he was a fairly quiet man with a huge heart. it's something i never really thought about until the funeral. he owned lake property and we would spend the summers at the lake water skiing, boating, fishing, laying out, whatever fun the summer brought. i remember how much he loved taking us all out in the boat; it seemed to truly bring him joy. i'm sure to him, he could have thought of no better thing he would have rather been doing at that moment. he was a humble man, always willing to put the needs of others first. me, being the selfish brat i often am, always wanted to go water skiing when no one else wanted to, but yet he always dropped what he was doing to take me out on the lake. that was always the kind of unselfish love he showed to everyone else around him. i received birthday cards and christmas cards that were always signed "love grandad bob." there's a lot of great memories i hold on to that i will always remember.
on another sad note...brooke isn't doing very well at all. jessica told amanda today that the doctors don't expect her to make it til next weekend. her doctor knows how important it is for her to graduate, so he said if she makes it to next saturday, they will drive her down in an ambulance so she can attend graduation. i know how incredibly important it is to her. she was always so determined to finish and it would be so sad at this point if she got so close and didn't get to. when i went to visit her a couple weeks ago, she even mentioned school then. she also made jokes about dying which i honestly didn't handle well at all. i don't deal well by joking about such serious issues. i talked to her tonight on the phone for a brief moment. i knew that amanda had called her earlier, so i called and she answered the hospital phone. she didn't sound good at all...she was coughing a lot and i could tell by her voice that she wasn't doing well. here's how the conversation went.
"hey brooke! it's amy."
"hey."
"amanda told me that she talked to you and i was jealous, so i wanted to call and talk to you myself. how're you doing? are you hanging in there?"
"um, well, i'm not too good."
"well, i just wanted to call you and tell you that i love you and i was thinking about you."
"thanks, i appreciate it. i can't really talk"
"i know. i totally understand. i just wanted to call and tell you that i love you."
"love you too."
she's one of the strongest people i've ever met in my whole entire life. to find out you have cancer at such a young age, to go through chemo and overcome it. then to find out it's come back, to fight it again. to undergo more treatments. then to discover that it's probably going to literally eat your life away. how on earth do you deal with it? i never would be able to be so strong. i can barely live with the fact that my dad has cancer. and to watch it take the lives of people all around me makes it even more complicated to deal with.
i know that so many people question God at these points in life. i mean, honestly it's hard not to. but i know that this is not my home...and for that i am extremely thankful. the earth is too horrible of a place. when i look at the the ocean, or changing leaves, or a beautiful mountain, or an awesome lake or river i see the beauty God has created. but so many places our human depravity has taken God out of the picture and all we see is this God-void place that is so hard to look at that it brings me to tears. it makes me so glad i'm not spending eternity on earth, but instead with my wonderful Savior in heaven.
brooke hall and me last year
