pure seduction body lotion by victoria's secret
brown parson slides that are soooo cute!
multi grain cheerios
sweet melon yankee candles
my new bright striped tote from target
keebler's animals cookies frosted
birthday lip frosting by lipsmackers
the starlet (not quite sure why this is making the list...let's just say i'm hooked.)
signs by snoop dogg and (my boy) justin timberlake (the edited version)
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
lounging
i had a pretty crappy day at work today. it wasn't the worst, but i felt like i didn't do a good job and i was being evaluated. it's not really a huge deal because i've done perfectly fine on everything else. but i did leave feeling like crap.
i had made plans to meet brooke for lunch, and i'm really glad i got to hang out with her. we can do absolutely nothing at all and have a blast. we went to cracker barrel and ate some good home cookin' and sat and talked forever. then we went looking for lounging lawn chairs for her back patio. she's been talking about wanting some it since it got warm. it was such a pretty day today (let me brag a bit, yes...it was 77 degrees! yay!!!) so she decided we needed to go see if we could find some. we had already looked at target, so we went to lowes...no luck. we went to k-mart to see if they had anything. we wandered into the lawn and garden section and we were in luck. they had the kind she was looking for, so we pulled two down from the stack and sat them in the isle. then we sat there and talked and test- lounged...for almost 20 mins. we were tempted to see how long we could sit there before someone would finally come back there and asked if we needed help...or even notice us. apparently that takes longer than 20 mins.
so she gets the chairs and i pulled my car up to the lawn and garden door. i wasn't thinking at all about how big the chairs were actually going to be compared to my car. but...they didn't quite fit. so we're standing there trying to shove these chairs into my car and it's not working. the lady that worked there asked if she could try to help put them in. so she tried. somehow we managed to get one in...but both front seats were all the way leaned back and we had to take the headrests off. so we're sitting there laughing, trying to figure out what to do. i think the lady was a little frustrated with us and she told us she had to go back inside. so she left us. isn't that part of her job? to help people?
so we decide to call my mom and see if she'd bring the tahoe and take the chairs to brooke's house. luckily she was home and she said she'd come help. so in the meantime, we're trying to get the chair we finally somehow managed to get in the car out of the car. after a good ten minutes, we finally were able to twist and turn and maneuver it and somehow we were able to get it back out of the car. there was nothing to do except lounge out in the parking lot in the new chairs and wait for my mom. so that's what we did...for about 15 minutes. it was awesome. i was so tempted to go in and buy a cheap disposable camera just to take pictures of how silly and ridiculous we looked, but i didn't. i was able to manage to snag a few on my camera phone. unfortunately i don't pay for a vision package and i'm not able to put them on here without having that capability. so sad.
i had made plans to meet brooke for lunch, and i'm really glad i got to hang out with her. we can do absolutely nothing at all and have a blast. we went to cracker barrel and ate some good home cookin' and sat and talked forever. then we went looking for lounging lawn chairs for her back patio. she's been talking about wanting some it since it got warm. it was such a pretty day today (let me brag a bit, yes...it was 77 degrees! yay!!!) so she decided we needed to go see if we could find some. we had already looked at target, so we went to lowes...no luck. we went to k-mart to see if they had anything. we wandered into the lawn and garden section and we were in luck. they had the kind she was looking for, so we pulled two down from the stack and sat them in the isle. then we sat there and talked and test- lounged...for almost 20 mins. we were tempted to see how long we could sit there before someone would finally come back there and asked if we needed help...or even notice us. apparently that takes longer than 20 mins.
so she gets the chairs and i pulled my car up to the lawn and garden door. i wasn't thinking at all about how big the chairs were actually going to be compared to my car. but...they didn't quite fit. so we're standing there trying to shove these chairs into my car and it's not working. the lady that worked there asked if she could try to help put them in. so she tried. somehow we managed to get one in...but both front seats were all the way leaned back and we had to take the headrests off. so we're sitting there laughing, trying to figure out what to do. i think the lady was a little frustrated with us and she told us she had to go back inside. so she left us. isn't that part of her job? to help people?
so we decide to call my mom and see if she'd bring the tahoe and take the chairs to brooke's house. luckily she was home and she said she'd come help. so in the meantime, we're trying to get the chair we finally somehow managed to get in the car out of the car. after a good ten minutes, we finally were able to twist and turn and maneuver it and somehow we were able to get it back out of the car. there was nothing to do except lounge out in the parking lot in the new chairs and wait for my mom. so that's what we did...for about 15 minutes. it was awesome. i was so tempted to go in and buy a cheap disposable camera just to take pictures of how silly and ridiculous we looked, but i didn't. i was able to manage to snag a few on my camera phone. unfortunately i don't pay for a vision package and i'm not able to put them on here without having that capability. so sad.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
i wonder what it says on her drivers license
my brother just asked me if i'd seen the new revlon commercial. at first i wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about or why he'd care. then he said, "that girl has 2 different color eyes. that's so freaky."
i realized right away he was talking about kate bosworth. if you don't know what i'm talking about, you can look at a pic here. i didn't notice it when i saw blue crush, but i did in parts of win a date with tad hamilton.
anyway, i find it rather interesting. it's called heterochromia iridis. it’s when one iris is a different color than the other. it can be genetic or it can be caused by accidents. i've seen people who have parts of one eye a different color, but not almost the whole eye. my eyes change colors depending on what i'm wearing, almost like a chamelion...does that count?
i realized right away he was talking about kate bosworth. if you don't know what i'm talking about, you can look at a pic here. i didn't notice it when i saw blue crush, but i did in parts of win a date with tad hamilton.
anyway, i find it rather interesting. it's called heterochromia iridis. it’s when one iris is a different color than the other. it can be genetic or it can be caused by accidents. i've seen people who have parts of one eye a different color, but not almost the whole eye. my eyes change colors depending on what i'm wearing, almost like a chamelion...does that count?
Saturday, March 26, 2005
grits part 2
okay...so i've been asked why i'm talking about people with country accents. yeah...it's not like i grew up in new york city or anything. and everyone is right. i grew up in a fairly small town myself. i have no idea how i ended up in the family i did without sounding at least a little bit country. but somehow i managed. i guess i have a southern accent...although i hate to admit it, but i don't think i have a drawl or speak country.
sometimes living with ashley and being friends with jeremy it seemed like they spoke a different language. one night the three of us were sitting around in our living room and somehow the conversation of vienna sausages came up. i have no idea why or how...but it did. except jeremy and ashley both call them vi-ain-ees or something to that effect. weird, i know. i was in awe that more people than just the two of them call them that. apparently so does my stepdad. so after that discovery, it always seemed i was out of the loop. sometimes they'd say words that i'd have no idea what they were talking about...even in context. sometimes they'd say words that i'd never heard of, but i could figure them out based on how they were used. but there was one time where i was thrown off course so bad, i still laugh everytime i think of the story.
another thing that always made me laugh was the fact that anyone from a small town knows everyone else from other small towns. seriously. one night our neighbor ben came over, and ashley's friend courtney was there, and my friend shea came over. they're all from little bitty towns...not the same ones...just small towns. so they started talking about who they know. "do you know so and so? how about so and so?"
that's the night jesse hicks came about. so apparently everyone from small towns knows everyone else from any surrounding small town. but me, big city girl, knows no one.
i was on the phone with jeremy and he had another call and asked me to hang on a second. when he switched back over, he said, "that was my mom telling me about a guy that is building me a pool pit."
i sat there for a second and tried to comprehend what he'd said. "a pool pit?" i asked.
"yeah, he's building me a pool pit."
at this point i was pretty confused. "are you getting a swimming pool?"
"what?" he asked as if i was losing my mind?
so he repeats it again. "that was my mom telling me about the guy that's building my pool pit."
brief silence. "okay," i finally say "i don't know what you're talking about."
jeremy seems a little frustrated at this point. "a pool pit. you know what that is."
"is it what they dig before they put in a swimming pool?" i really had no clue at all what he was talking about.
"amy, a pool pit!" he sounds a little frustrated at this point.
i finally break down and ask, "what is that?"
"you know what a pool pit is. the thing that a preacher stands at in church. you know...like a podium."
"OHHH! a PULPIT!" i finally understand.
"yeah. that's what i said. a pool pit."
at this point we're both cracking up so hard i don't think either of us can breathe. but wait...it gets even better.
"no, you were saying pool pit. i thought you were talking about a swimming pool or something."
jeremy has no idea that we're saying the words differently. "yeah, pool pit."
i try again to make my point. "you're saying pool pit like 2 seperate words. i'm saying pulpit."
"they sound the same to me."
after i got off the phone, i went and tried to tell ashley the story. but she didn't understand why i didn't know what a pool pit was either. so to them, i looked like i didn't know what they were talking about, but to me it seemed like they were saying something totally different. of course i know what a pulpit is...but i'd never known what a pool pit was before that day. apparently now i'll be ready when i head to mississippi this summer. i will know what a pool pit is. :)
so hopefully that story brings light to the subject. it was something that always cracked us up...something that we were always aware of. and it was so much fun even though it seriously was a language barrier sometimes. i love my country friends who are always willing to teach me new speak.
i'm reminded of the kenny chesney song "back where i come from." so ashley, jeremy, and everyone else who can relate to being from a small country town, i dedicate this song to you.
In the town where I was raised
The clock ticks and the cattle graze
Time passed with Amazing Grace
Back where I come from
Now you can lie on a riverbank
Paint your name on a water tank
Or miscount all the beers you drank
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
We learned in Sunday school
Who made the sun shine through
I know who made the moonshine, too
Back where I come from
Blue eyes on a Saturday night
Tan legs in the broad day light
TV's, they were black and white
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
Some say it's a backward place
Narrow minds on a narrow way
I make it a point to say
That that's where I come from
That's where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
I'm an old Tennessean
And I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
sometimes living with ashley and being friends with jeremy it seemed like they spoke a different language. one night the three of us were sitting around in our living room and somehow the conversation of vienna sausages came up. i have no idea why or how...but it did. except jeremy and ashley both call them vi-ain-ees or something to that effect. weird, i know. i was in awe that more people than just the two of them call them that. apparently so does my stepdad. so after that discovery, it always seemed i was out of the loop. sometimes they'd say words that i'd have no idea what they were talking about...even in context. sometimes they'd say words that i'd never heard of, but i could figure them out based on how they were used. but there was one time where i was thrown off course so bad, i still laugh everytime i think of the story.
another thing that always made me laugh was the fact that anyone from a small town knows everyone else from other small towns. seriously. one night our neighbor ben came over, and ashley's friend courtney was there, and my friend shea came over. they're all from little bitty towns...not the same ones...just small towns. so they started talking about who they know. "do you know so and so? how about so and so?"
that's the night jesse hicks came about. so apparently everyone from small towns knows everyone else from any surrounding small town. but me, big city girl, knows no one.
i was on the phone with jeremy and he had another call and asked me to hang on a second. when he switched back over, he said, "that was my mom telling me about a guy that is building me a pool pit."
i sat there for a second and tried to comprehend what he'd said. "a pool pit?" i asked.
"yeah, he's building me a pool pit."
at this point i was pretty confused. "are you getting a swimming pool?"
"what?" he asked as if i was losing my mind?
so he repeats it again. "that was my mom telling me about the guy that's building my pool pit."
brief silence. "okay," i finally say "i don't know what you're talking about."
jeremy seems a little frustrated at this point. "a pool pit. you know what that is."
"is it what they dig before they put in a swimming pool?" i really had no clue at all what he was talking about.
"amy, a pool pit!" he sounds a little frustrated at this point.
i finally break down and ask, "what is that?"
"you know what a pool pit is. the thing that a preacher stands at in church. you know...like a podium."
"OHHH! a PULPIT!" i finally understand.
"yeah. that's what i said. a pool pit."
at this point we're both cracking up so hard i don't think either of us can breathe. but wait...it gets even better.
"no, you were saying pool pit. i thought you were talking about a swimming pool or something."
jeremy has no idea that we're saying the words differently. "yeah, pool pit."
i try again to make my point. "you're saying pool pit like 2 seperate words. i'm saying pulpit."
"they sound the same to me."
after i got off the phone, i went and tried to tell ashley the story. but she didn't understand why i didn't know what a pool pit was either. so to them, i looked like i didn't know what they were talking about, but to me it seemed like they were saying something totally different. of course i know what a pulpit is...but i'd never known what a pool pit was before that day. apparently now i'll be ready when i head to mississippi this summer. i will know what a pool pit is. :)
so hopefully that story brings light to the subject. it was something that always cracked us up...something that we were always aware of. and it was so much fun even though it seriously was a language barrier sometimes. i love my country friends who are always willing to teach me new speak.
i'm reminded of the kenny chesney song "back where i come from." so ashley, jeremy, and everyone else who can relate to being from a small country town, i dedicate this song to you.
In the town where I was raised
The clock ticks and the cattle graze
Time passed with Amazing Grace
Back where I come from
Now you can lie on a riverbank
Paint your name on a water tank
Or miscount all the beers you drank
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
We learned in Sunday school
Who made the sun shine through
I know who made the moonshine, too
Back where I come from
Blue eyes on a Saturday night
Tan legs in the broad day light
TV's, they were black and white
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
Some say it's a backward place
Narrow minds on a narrow way
I make it a point to say
That that's where I come from
That's where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
I'm an old Tennessean
And I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
Friday, March 25, 2005
arrrrrrrr matey...
i just saw the strangest commercial. it was for bratz treasures dolls. apparetnly, today's little girls want to play with pirates. so, bratz now come as pirates. weird. there's this commercial i just saw where these girls are singing "it's fun to be a pirate!" and then this blonde girl in a bandana says "check out my pirate bling." weird.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
4 good and 3 not so good
top 4 things i love about today...
1. i finally tried diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper . i've been wanting to since it came out. it's totally good. it changed my life. jeremy w. and i said we were going to try it while i was down in georgia for the d-now...but we never got around to it. i was slightly disappointed when i crossed the kentucky state line and i still hadn't been able to experience it for myself. i'm sure jeremy forgot about it totally. just a side note: my brother said he thought it tasted like cherry water, so if you don't like diet drinks, this might not be for you.
2. louisville won the game against washington (sorry robyn). i had washington winning the game on my bracket. but since i had wake forest going to the final four and that's not happening, i tossed the bracket and cheered for u of l. how awesome would it be if uk and u of l both made it to the final four. better yet...what if that was the final game?!?! wow. that'd be a bit nuts! very unrealistic. but hey, it could happen!
3. there's a cappuccino machine at work...like the kind that are at the gas stations. it's free for employees. so today i remembered to take my spill proof mug. i mixed hot chocolate and french vanilla. yum. i can definitely start my days off right with perks like that.
4. i wore my hair in pigtails to meet the guy my friend is dating. it's great to have such freedom in life. i love being so dumb and not caring what people think about me. it's very liberating.
and 3 not so great things...
1. i saw midnight in the garden of good and evil with john cusack on dvd for $4.45 at the px today. i carried it around the entire store because i saw it when we first walked in the door. but by the time we got to the checkout, neither my mom or i had picked anything else up. the lines were insanely long, so i ended up putting it back. then later when i thought about it, i wanted to cry.
2. i still haven't watched finding neverland. i planned on watching it after work, but i ended up hanging out with my mom. tomorrow...it's going to happen. but i'll have to schedule around games.
3. it was cold again today. i hate cold weather. i'm ready for summer...or at least flip flop weather.
1. i finally tried diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper . i've been wanting to since it came out. it's totally good. it changed my life. jeremy w. and i said we were going to try it while i was down in georgia for the d-now...but we never got around to it. i was slightly disappointed when i crossed the kentucky state line and i still hadn't been able to experience it for myself. i'm sure jeremy forgot about it totally. just a side note: my brother said he thought it tasted like cherry water, so if you don't like diet drinks, this might not be for you.
2. louisville won the game against washington (sorry robyn). i had washington winning the game on my bracket. but since i had wake forest going to the final four and that's not happening, i tossed the bracket and cheered for u of l. how awesome would it be if uk and u of l both made it to the final four. better yet...what if that was the final game?!?! wow. that'd be a bit nuts! very unrealistic. but hey, it could happen!
3. there's a cappuccino machine at work...like the kind that are at the gas stations. it's free for employees. so today i remembered to take my spill proof mug. i mixed hot chocolate and french vanilla. yum. i can definitely start my days off right with perks like that.
4. i wore my hair in pigtails to meet the guy my friend is dating. it's great to have such freedom in life. i love being so dumb and not caring what people think about me. it's very liberating.
and 3 not so great things...
1. i saw midnight in the garden of good and evil with john cusack on dvd for $4.45 at the px today. i carried it around the entire store because i saw it when we first walked in the door. but by the time we got to the checkout, neither my mom or i had picked anything else up. the lines were insanely long, so i ended up putting it back. then later when i thought about it, i wanted to cry.
2. i still haven't watched finding neverland. i planned on watching it after work, but i ended up hanging out with my mom. tomorrow...it's going to happen. but i'll have to schedule around games.
3. it was cold again today. i hate cold weather. i'm ready for summer...or at least flip flop weather.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
sleep...must sleep now!
i bought finding neverland on dvd yesterday. i've never seen it, but i'm really excited about it. i have this crazy habit of buying dvds before i've seen them in anticipation that they'll be great enough to own. sometimes i'm disappointed. but i'm sure with this selection i can't go wrong. it was nominated for 7 academy awards...i'm sure that means greatness. and even if it sucks, it's 101 minutes of johnny depp.
when i went to buy it, i almost accidentally bought the full screen version. i would have been pretty upset if i hadn't noticed until i got home and opened it. no movie should ever be watched in full screen if there is an option of watching it in wide screen. it's sacreligious.
i had planned on watching finding neverland when i got off work today. but i came home and ate lunch and read a magazine, then i came downstairs to my room, checked my email, and played around for a few minutes. i could barely hold my eyes open. brooke called, while i was talking to her i crawled into my bed, covered up with my comforter. i think as soon as i hung up the phone i was asleep. to be honest, i really don't remember hanging up the phone. but i do remember waking up 4 hours later. 4 hours. i think my body is seriously upset with me for chaninging my schedule without warning. it doesn't like getting out of bed at 6:45. it has no idea how to function that early because it hasn't had to do that in so long. it actually hasn't been that bad at all. but i have been unbelievably worn out this week for not doing anything totally out of the norm. hopefully my body will adjust soon and i won't have to worry about it any longer.
i'm not trying to be a whiny baby about getting up early...i just can't believe how my body is rebelling by shutting down for 4 hrs. it's insane to me.
when i went to buy it, i almost accidentally bought the full screen version. i would have been pretty upset if i hadn't noticed until i got home and opened it. no movie should ever be watched in full screen if there is an option of watching it in wide screen. it's sacreligious.
i had planned on watching finding neverland when i got off work today. but i came home and ate lunch and read a magazine, then i came downstairs to my room, checked my email, and played around for a few minutes. i could barely hold my eyes open. brooke called, while i was talking to her i crawled into my bed, covered up with my comforter. i think as soon as i hung up the phone i was asleep. to be honest, i really don't remember hanging up the phone. but i do remember waking up 4 hours later. 4 hours. i think my body is seriously upset with me for chaninging my schedule without warning. it doesn't like getting out of bed at 6:45. it has no idea how to function that early because it hasn't had to do that in so long. it actually hasn't been that bad at all. but i have been unbelievably worn out this week for not doing anything totally out of the norm. hopefully my body will adjust soon and i won't have to worry about it any longer.
i'm not trying to be a whiny baby about getting up early...i just can't believe how my body is rebelling by shutting down for 4 hrs. it's insane to me.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
i've never even tried grits
i've had so many conversations about why people say the things they do. why we pronounce things like we do, how we say certain phrases, and what they mean, and why the region where we live or were raised makes such a huge difference. i was inspired to think about it again from a post i read on jeff's blog today.
when i first moved in with ashley, i found myself constantly wondering what she was talking about. there were numerous circumstances where i would have to tell her i had no idea what she was talking about. we used to joke around and say that i couldn't understand her at all because i'm a city girl and she's a country girl. but the truth is, i was born and raised in a city with no more than 40,000 people. that's not exactly big city. it's still amazing to me that we grew up living an hour and a half away from each other, but we talk so differently.
so i've decided to write down a few of the words or phrases that have made me feel like a northerner. these are things that i don't say, but many of my friends or people i've met do. some of them i had never heard until recently and even then i had to ask about them. i'm sure there are some of you out there who know exactly what i'm talking about.
words
fixin' to (meaning: getting ready to)
ya'll (meaning: you all)
ain't
vienna sausages (pronounced: vy-annies)
florida (pronounced: flarda)
hankerin' (meaning: craving)
high-falutin (meaning: high class)
bout to (meaning: about to)
ain'tcha (meaning: aren't you)
warsh (meaning: wash)
betwixt (meaning: between)
you-uns (meaning: you (plural))
taters (meaning: potatoes)
wuter (meaning: water)
phrases
was it any count? (meaning: was it any good?)
gussied up (meaning: dressed up)
how in the sam hill? (meaning: how in the world)
i gotta pee like a race horse. (meaning: i have to pee)
hunker down. (meaning: duck down)
sure as God made 'em. (meaning: yes, i'm sure)
pitched a fit and fell into it (meaning: threw a tantrum)
nekkid as a jaybird. (meaning: naked)
slow as molasses. (meaning: slow)
looks like he got beat with an ugly stick. (meaning: he's ugly)
easy as nailin' jello to the wall. (meaning: not easy)
words that are pronounced different
pie
ice
bye
lie (or any word with a long i sound)
pool
when i first moved in with ashley, i found myself constantly wondering what she was talking about. there were numerous circumstances where i would have to tell her i had no idea what she was talking about. we used to joke around and say that i couldn't understand her at all because i'm a city girl and she's a country girl. but the truth is, i was born and raised in a city with no more than 40,000 people. that's not exactly big city. it's still amazing to me that we grew up living an hour and a half away from each other, but we talk so differently.
so i've decided to write down a few of the words or phrases that have made me feel like a northerner. these are things that i don't say, but many of my friends or people i've met do. some of them i had never heard until recently and even then i had to ask about them. i'm sure there are some of you out there who know exactly what i'm talking about.
words
fixin' to (meaning: getting ready to)
ya'll (meaning: you all)
ain't
vienna sausages (pronounced: vy-annies)
florida (pronounced: flarda)
hankerin' (meaning: craving)
high-falutin (meaning: high class)
bout to (meaning: about to)
ain'tcha (meaning: aren't you)
warsh (meaning: wash)
betwixt (meaning: between)
you-uns (meaning: you (plural))
taters (meaning: potatoes)
wuter (meaning: water)
phrases
was it any count? (meaning: was it any good?)
gussied up (meaning: dressed up)
how in the sam hill? (meaning: how in the world)
i gotta pee like a race horse. (meaning: i have to pee)
hunker down. (meaning: duck down)
sure as God made 'em. (meaning: yes, i'm sure)
pitched a fit and fell into it (meaning: threw a tantrum)
nekkid as a jaybird. (meaning: naked)
slow as molasses. (meaning: slow)
looks like he got beat with an ugly stick. (meaning: he's ugly)
easy as nailin' jello to the wall. (meaning: not easy)
words that are pronounced different
pie
ice
bye
lie (or any word with a long i sound)
pool
Monday, March 21, 2005
exhausted
i'm so tired. it's 8:30 and i'm ready to go to bed...and i probably will...very soon. i didn't sleep much last night, maybe 3 1/2 or 4 hrs. hopefully i can make it through this post. maybe not...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
okay, okay...i'll let you in on todays happenings, then i'll make my way to the comfort of my bed and my down comforter and my pillow.
i wasn't sure what training for this job was actually going to consist of. i knew that we'd be learning about what it is we're going to be spending out days doing, but that's it. there's 2 training classes going on right now. there's about 16 or so people in my class and from what i can tell, we seem like a fun bunch of people. very diverse, very talkative, and overall we just seem fun. we did this icebreaker this morning where we were given an index card with a person's name on it and we had to go around the room and look for a name that matched ours. i was bart simpson, so i had to find my lisa. once we found our partner, we had questions of the back of our cards we had to share with each other, then we had to introduce each other to the class. so now everyone knows that my favorite movie is say anything, my favorite tv show is gilmore girls, and that my favorite book is the outsiders. i love learning silly facts like this about people, especially about their favorites. i think you can learn a lot about people from these things.
other fun things that happened today include buying new jeans (yay!), eating lunch with brooke, getting a new drivers license (with a pretty decent picture!).
okay, i'm going to go veg in my bed until my pretty little eyes shut and i fall asleep, i'm sure it won't be long.
now...your job is to leave me a comment and answer the following questions (for those who've been asking, you can log in under the "other" category to put your info if you don't have a blogger account).
1. name
2. favorite movie
3. favorite tv show
4. favorite book
5. something random about yourself
okay, okay...i'll let you in on todays happenings, then i'll make my way to the comfort of my bed and my down comforter and my pillow.
i wasn't sure what training for this job was actually going to consist of. i knew that we'd be learning about what it is we're going to be spending out days doing, but that's it. there's 2 training classes going on right now. there's about 16 or so people in my class and from what i can tell, we seem like a fun bunch of people. very diverse, very talkative, and overall we just seem fun. we did this icebreaker this morning where we were given an index card with a person's name on it and we had to go around the room and look for a name that matched ours. i was bart simpson, so i had to find my lisa. once we found our partner, we had questions of the back of our cards we had to share with each other, then we had to introduce each other to the class. so now everyone knows that my favorite movie is say anything, my favorite tv show is gilmore girls, and that my favorite book is the outsiders. i love learning silly facts like this about people, especially about their favorites. i think you can learn a lot about people from these things.
other fun things that happened today include buying new jeans (yay!), eating lunch with brooke, getting a new drivers license (with a pretty decent picture!).
okay, i'm going to go veg in my bed until my pretty little eyes shut and i fall asleep, i'm sure it won't be long.
now...your job is to leave me a comment and answer the following questions (for those who've been asking, you can log in under the "other" category to put your info if you don't have a blogger account).
1. name
2. favorite movie
3. favorite tv show
4. favorite book
5. something random about yourself
anxiety
it's late. i can't sleep. not that i've tried, but i know myself well enough to know that right now there's no way i'd be able to fall asleep. i get anxious about the dumbest stuff. it doesn't even have to be stuff i'm excited about, i just get anxious. i've always been like that. i remember when i was little i'd always get worked up about stuff that would be going on the next day at school. i'd lay in bed and just think about it over and over until i could feel my stomach turn. i'm still the same way and i don't know why. i start the new job tomorrow. i'll be honest, i'm not excited about it...at all. i can think of a lot better ways to be spending my time, but...i guess we have to do things we don't like sometimes. i'm hoping that it'll be better than i'm expecting.
random info for those who care...
yahoo news just reported that john delorean, the car inventor died. you'd know this car as the time traveling machine if you were a big back to the future fan.
i found myself in a conversation with someone the other day about sarah jessica parker's new gap ad...the one where she's singing the song from flower drum song. you might know it better by the lyrics "when i have a brand new hair do, with my eyelashes all in curl, i float as the clouds on air do. i enjoy being a girl..." anyway, sarah jessica parker is getting the axe from gap and singer, joss stone is replacing her as the new gap girl. ouch.
meg ryan and billy crystal were voted the best on screen couple of all time for their roles in when harry met sally.
random info for those who care...
yahoo news just reported that john delorean, the car inventor died. you'd know this car as the time traveling machine if you were a big back to the future fan.
i found myself in a conversation with someone the other day about sarah jessica parker's new gap ad...the one where she's singing the song from flower drum song. you might know it better by the lyrics "when i have a brand new hair do, with my eyelashes all in curl, i float as the clouds on air do. i enjoy being a girl..." anyway, sarah jessica parker is getting the axe from gap and singer, joss stone is replacing her as the new gap girl. ouch.
meg ryan and billy crystal were voted the best on screen couple of all time for their roles in when harry met sally.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
sweet 16
sometime soon i might blog about something of more interest that basketball, but it's about all i've been doing.
the texas tech vs. gonzaga game threw me a little bit. when i was filling out my bracket, i had texas tech winning, then i erased it and put gonzaga. i need to learn to go with my first instinct, it would have saved me at least 2 games.
i'm hoping oklahoma will pull off the same kind of game texas tech did. there's 4 mins left right now and i'm thinking that there's definitely a chance.
i'm also hoping that uk plays better tonight than they have been. if they don't get their stuff together and cincinnati comes out fighting, they might not be able to pull it off. they really need to start playing some basketball.
as of right now i'm still okay as far as my bracket goes except i had gonzaga winning the next game, then losing to wake forest. i guess we'll have to see about that. i also had kansas winning and then playing u.conn with u.conn winning. so as long as u.conn wins, i'll be okay.
my picks for sweet 16 teams
illinois
boston coll
arizona
oklahoma state
washington
louisville
gonzaga (they're out...ugh, i shouldn't have changed it)
wake forest
n. carolina
florida
kansas (seriously, who had bucknell to win?)
u. conn
duke
michigan
oklahoma (not sure about this one at the moment)
uk
the texas tech vs. gonzaga game threw me a little bit. when i was filling out my bracket, i had texas tech winning, then i erased it and put gonzaga. i need to learn to go with my first instinct, it would have saved me at least 2 games.
i'm hoping oklahoma will pull off the same kind of game texas tech did. there's 4 mins left right now and i'm thinking that there's definitely a chance.
i'm also hoping that uk plays better tonight than they have been. if they don't get their stuff together and cincinnati comes out fighting, they might not be able to pull it off. they really need to start playing some basketball.
as of right now i'm still okay as far as my bracket goes except i had gonzaga winning the next game, then losing to wake forest. i guess we'll have to see about that. i also had kansas winning and then playing u.conn with u.conn winning. so as long as u.conn wins, i'll be okay.
my picks for sweet 16 teams
illinois
boston coll
arizona
oklahoma state
washington
louisville
gonzaga (they're out...ugh, i shouldn't have changed it)
wake forest
n. carolina
florida
kansas (seriously, who had bucknell to win?)
u. conn
duke
michigan
oklahoma (not sure about this one at the moment)
uk
bloggin' basketball
i've been having some problems logging into blogger the last few days. so i wrote this last night but couldn't post it, so now that i'm able to get in...here it is.
some of you may not be very excited, but i'm going to do it anyway. it's just about all i've been doing over the last few days. when i filled out my bracket, i really wasn't sure about some of the teams. apparently a lot of people weren't so sure about some of the teams. most of the time i'm a big fan of the underdog, even at the expense of my bracket.
so here's a bit of a recap...
uk vs. eku.
i was so impressed that eku kept up as well as they did. they played a great game. i was talking to my friend who works at eku who is in indianapolis for the tournament yesterday and he said there was a point when eku was only down by 6 where he wasn't sure who to cheer for. too bad wku isn't better this year, then ky would have 4 schools in. that'd be fun.
most interesting games so far...
uw-mil - alabama
W. virginia - creighton
kansas - bucknell
games i have lost on my bracket so far...
texas - nevada
alabama - uw-mil
lsu - uab
pacific - pitts
charlotte - nc state
standford - miss state (i should have listened to you, will.)
syracuse - vermont
but none of them mess up my picks for sweet 16.
some of you may not be very excited, but i'm going to do it anyway. it's just about all i've been doing over the last few days. when i filled out my bracket, i really wasn't sure about some of the teams. apparently a lot of people weren't so sure about some of the teams. most of the time i'm a big fan of the underdog, even at the expense of my bracket.
so here's a bit of a recap...
uk vs. eku.
i was so impressed that eku kept up as well as they did. they played a great game. i was talking to my friend who works at eku who is in indianapolis for the tournament yesterday and he said there was a point when eku was only down by 6 where he wasn't sure who to cheer for. too bad wku isn't better this year, then ky would have 4 schools in. that'd be fun.
most interesting games so far...
uw-mil - alabama
W. virginia - creighton
kansas - bucknell
games i have lost on my bracket so far...
texas - nevada
alabama - uw-mil
lsu - uab
pacific - pitts
charlotte - nc state
standford - miss state (i should have listened to you, will.)
syracuse - vermont
but none of them mess up my picks for sweet 16.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
C-A-T-S go cats go!
so i'm pretty excited that the university of kentucky is getting ready to play their first game in the NCAA tournament. i grew up a huge UK fan because my dad was. growing up in kentucky i thought you either had to be a kentucky fan or a louisville fan. i never wanted to be a louisville fan. when i was younger i didn't really understand that basketball was a bigger thing here in kentucky than anywhere else on earth.
i remember one spring break, we went to alabama to visit my aunt and my dad couldn't go because of work. i don't remember how old i was, but i was old enough to be a UK fan without my dad telling me i should be. i was wearing my blue UK shirt with a pretty ferocious wildcat on it and i was ready to watch the game. UK was playing michigan in a pretty important game and i remember having to watch it by myself. my mom and aunt didn't really care about it and i was pretty upset. so i sat in a room by myself cheering my team on. it was the first time i'd ever really wanted them to win because i loved them, not because my dad loved them.
so to this day i'm still a pretty big UK fan. the only exception was when UK played WKU and western won! i wasn't turning my back on the cats, but at that point i had to root for my own school.
so my brothers and i spent some time a couple days ago filling out our bracket. as much as i'd love UK to win it all, i only have them going three games. hopefully they'll surprise me...i won't be losing any money. i have illinois, wake forest, north carolina, and duke in the final four. i guess we'll just have to see. i want to know your picks. who do you have in the final four, or who do you want to be the NCAA national champion?
i remember one spring break, we went to alabama to visit my aunt and my dad couldn't go because of work. i don't remember how old i was, but i was old enough to be a UK fan without my dad telling me i should be. i was wearing my blue UK shirt with a pretty ferocious wildcat on it and i was ready to watch the game. UK was playing michigan in a pretty important game and i remember having to watch it by myself. my mom and aunt didn't really care about it and i was pretty upset. so i sat in a room by myself cheering my team on. it was the first time i'd ever really wanted them to win because i loved them, not because my dad loved them.
so to this day i'm still a pretty big UK fan. the only exception was when UK played WKU and western won! i wasn't turning my back on the cats, but at that point i had to root for my own school.
so my brothers and i spent some time a couple days ago filling out our bracket. as much as i'd love UK to win it all, i only have them going three games. hopefully they'll surprise me...i won't be losing any money. i have illinois, wake forest, north carolina, and duke in the final four. i guess we'll just have to see. i want to know your picks. who do you have in the final four, or who do you want to be the NCAA national champion?
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
i'm a quitter...
so right now i'm thinking that tomorrow i'm going to wake up and i'm going to stop this "diet." i'm not good at it...because i don't want to be. all day i've been thinking about mcdonald's, and chocolate, and pasta, and foods that i don't even eat often, but sound sooo good.
i hate quitting. i hate admitting that i can't do something. i'm stubborn and hard headed. but i think this is a little different. i don't think i can eat anymore carrots or vegetable soup. yuck. i don't even like very many veggies. i usually think that most people can accomplish the same thing a diet does without calling it a "diet." i hate the word...for lots of reasons, but mainly because i think it can lead to obsession. i've always thought that if i ever became too concerned with my weight that i would obsess over it. i go on these kicks when i let things consume me. if i was ever to decide to go on a diet kick, i can't imagine what would happen. i think that i would be so worried about losing weight, that i wouldn't do it in a very healthy way. not that i would do anything horrible, but i think i'd really let it become my center. i don't even know if this makes sense.
i think that it makes much more sense for people to exercise, just watch what they eat, and eat in moderation. i don't like diets. since yesterday morning i've been so hungry...all i want to do is eat. i'm not sure if it's all in my mind and i'm thinking that because i'm not allowed to do it, i want to even more. so if i were to continue this diet, i'm afraid i'd be a binge eater when i got off of it. so i'm thinking that when i wake up tomorrow i'll fix myself a bowl of oatmeal, or honey bunches of oats and start the day off right. i'll see how i'm feeling in the morning.
i hate quitting. i hate admitting that i can't do something. i'm stubborn and hard headed. but i think this is a little different. i don't think i can eat anymore carrots or vegetable soup. yuck. i don't even like very many veggies. i usually think that most people can accomplish the same thing a diet does without calling it a "diet." i hate the word...for lots of reasons, but mainly because i think it can lead to obsession. i've always thought that if i ever became too concerned with my weight that i would obsess over it. i go on these kicks when i let things consume me. if i was ever to decide to go on a diet kick, i can't imagine what would happen. i think that i would be so worried about losing weight, that i wouldn't do it in a very healthy way. not that i would do anything horrible, but i think i'd really let it become my center. i don't even know if this makes sense.
i think that it makes much more sense for people to exercise, just watch what they eat, and eat in moderation. i don't like diets. since yesterday morning i've been so hungry...all i want to do is eat. i'm not sure if it's all in my mind and i'm thinking that because i'm not allowed to do it, i want to even more. so if i were to continue this diet, i'm afraid i'd be a binge eater when i got off of it. so i'm thinking that when i wake up tomorrow i'll fix myself a bowl of oatmeal, or honey bunches of oats and start the day off right. i'll see how i'm feeling in the morning.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
eating good in the neighborhood
my mom has been talking about wanting to lose some weight lately. so she finally decided that to get herself motivated she would do a preplanned diet for a week and then just watch what she eats and exercises. lately i've been somewhat concerned with my own eating habits. i don't know how it's possible, but i think i honestly ate healthier when i wasn't living here. you'd think that with access to "real meals" i'd be eating better, but that's just not the case here in this household. i've become really accustomed to eating frozen snack-type foods for meals. it's really gross and i have no idea why it tastes so good. Taquitos and quesidillas have become my favorite. i've also started to worry that part of my headaches might be related to my bad eating habits. i know that i'm not getting enough of the nutrients and viamins my body needs. this "diet" is designed to help jumpstart better eating habits to help lose weight, but it also helps clean out your body of impurities, and gives you more natural energy. so i started thinking that it might be just what i needed. plus, i'd be able to do it with my mom, that way we could both be accountable to each other (not sure if that's a good thing or not). before i committed, i looked over the list of what we were suppose to eat each day to make sure my stomach would like all the foods. lots of fruits, veggies, some meat, baked potatos...most of the food sounded okay, but i know there will be a couple things i'll struggle with. so i agreed to do it.
today was the first day. i ate the things i was suppose to for my meals, and snacked on grapes and an orange...blah. then the doritos started taunting me. they were sitting there on the shelf telling me how bad they wanted me to eat them. but my will-power(surprisingly) kicked in and told them to shut up. anyway...right now i have a killer headache. my brain is telling me that a snickers mini would help cure the pain, but i've gone this far...i must endure. this is going to be a long week.
today was the first day. i ate the things i was suppose to for my meals, and snacked on grapes and an orange...blah. then the doritos started taunting me. they were sitting there on the shelf telling me how bad they wanted me to eat them. but my will-power(surprisingly) kicked in and told them to shut up. anyway...right now i have a killer headache. my brain is telling me that a snickers mini would help cure the pain, but i've gone this far...i must endure. this is going to be a long week.
Monday, March 14, 2005
the weather - always a topic of conversation
i think that i'm growing a little antsy while i wait for the weather to make up it's mind about what it's doing. i've always been the kind of girl who finds myself happiest when the sun is shining and when it's pretty outside. maybe i have a little hint of seasonal depression. the past week, the weather has been absolutely crazy here, and i believe it's contributed to the funk i've been in lately. last sunday it was 68 degrees. monday, tuesday, and wednesday it rained off and on. then on thursday night it snowed and the ground was covered with snow. then by friday morning the snow had melted, but it continued to snow off and on all day long, but as soon as the ground would cover, the sun would come out and melt it. saturday it was 56 degrees and sunny. yesterday it was sunny and about 53 degrees...but last night it snowed. today, it was about 50 and sunny, but tomorrow and wednesday we're expecting snow. ugh! i can't take much more of this. at times like this, i'm ready to pack my bags and move to florida!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
boredom
i used to agree with the saying "only boring people get bored." over the course of my years, i've probably even said it to other people. i've always been the kind of person who could entertain myself. i have a wild imagination, and it's been known to overtake my thinking from time to time. but recently, it seems i've lost the art of entertaining myself. or maybe it's just that i've been doing nothing for so long, it all seems the same. over the last couple weeks, i've been feeling pretty bored. i'm an extravert. i love being around people. i like doing something, even if it's just getting in my car and driving around aimlessly. i'm a hands-on kind of person. i have to be doing something. when i'm not, life's boring. i'm really ready for some type of adventure...something great. everything right now seems old...blogging, movies, tv, driving, it all seems boring and unsatisfying. i begged my brother for an hour to play a board game with me today, instead he went in his room and watched a cops marathon. anyone up for a game of scene it?
happy birthday!
today is my mom's birthday! in her honor, i decided to give my blog a makeover. nothing to drastic...i'm all about keeping it natural. i updated my profile, added a picture, and added some links in the sidebar. and sadly, yes, it was time to give some people the boot to the "barely breathing blog" section (hey, it's your own fault for not updating enough!). they're still great blogs, i'm just tired of staring at the same entries for a month before something new appears. so i hope you enjoy. i promise, good things are coming to those who wait.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
can't you see me in this?
i'm really lovin' the new mustangs. there's just something about them. i think it's the reinvention of the old and new that just makes them seem new, yet classic at the same time.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
rockin' it barbie style
from www.myscene.com
so i've been hearing that mattel, the makers of barbie have decided to make a doll in the likeness of lindsay lohan. i'm not sure what she did to deserve her own barbie doll, but it seems kind of crazy to me. apparently, the doll will come with her own director's chair and velvet rope. i guess if you're really interested, you can buy it this summer.
when i was little, i hated barbie dolls. all of my friends wanted to play barbie all the time, and i couldn't stand it. i was a much bigger fan of jem, or my little ponies, or cabbage patch kids. i would go to birthday parties and my friends would end up getting tons of barbies. i wanted to make sure it didn't happen to me, so i went around telling everyone not to buy me barbies for my birthday. my mom found out and wasn't too happy that i'd been so demanding about it, but the plan worked. i only got one barbie that year...and if memory serves me right, it was actually skipper. i did have two barbies that were only played with by friends. one wore a white evening dress with diamond earrings and a diamond necklace and the other one was some type of exercise barbie. i could totally be making this up, but for some reason i'm thinking it came with my "get in shape girl" stuff. anyway, they were never played with, until quints came along. you know, the five little babies that came together. i had 2 different sets, the reddish/brown haired regular quints, and the blonde haired peeing quints. you could give them their bottles and then they'd pee in their pants. very strange that any child would want that as a toy, but i know for a fact that i wasn't the only one. but they had to have a mom, or a babysitter, or an adult figure, so barbie or skipper was used.
okay, back to my hatred for barbie. i really don't know why i didn't like playing with barbies. it could be the fact that i had all boy cousins and i liked playing with their gi joes better (although i was a very girly little girl), or it could be the fact that i think barbies are dumb.
my mom's best friend had a daughter, kristy, who was a year older than me. she was the type of bratty kid who would say things like "if you don't play with me, i'm not going to be your friend." she was constantly talking me into doing things that i knew i wasn't allowed to do, simply because i knew she wouldn't be my friend if i didn't do it. i was 4 at the time, and i quickly learned not to let people walk all over me or talk me into doing stuff. one night, kristy and her mom had come over to visit. our moms were upstairs talking and we were in the basement playing. kristy wanted to pretend that we were barbie and the rockers. i didn't...i wanted to pretend that we were jem and the holograms. she was bigger, and older, and she used the "i won't be your friend" trick. so we ended up playing barbie and the rockers. there we were standing on stools, rocking out for our pretend audience when my mom sees us. she yells "girls, get down off those stools before someone falls and busts their head open." i can still to this day remember exactly what it sounded like. kristy jumps off her stool, and when she does, her stool falls over into mine, knocking me over. i fell on the floor and my head hit the corner of the fireplace. i don't remember much after that...being 4 years old probably has something to do with that. i remember crying because there was blood on my favorite shirt. it was white and it had a little girl fishing on it. looking back on it, i have no idea why that was my favorite shirt...but that's another story. my mom and dad take me to the emergency room and kristy and her mom follow us. the only thing i really remember is kristy crying and telling my mom that it was her fault that she made me play barbie and the rockers. i got a popcicle from the male nurse and i left the hospital with 5 stitches in my head. to this day i have a one inch scar on my forehead that always reminds me of barbie and the rockers.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
old men and old cars
it was a beautiful day today...68 degrees. i was so excited. and apparently it's only supposed to get nicer as the week goes on. did i mention it was snowing just 4 days ago? yeah, welcome to kentucky weather.
i decided it would be the perfect day to wash my car. i don't know what it is about it, but i really like washing my car. it's not something i do very often, especially anymore. i find it therapeutic for some strange reason. maybe "the rain on my car is a baptism..." yeah, probably not...but it's what it made me think of.
i drive a black 94 toyota corolla...a sporty one (it even has a spoiler), not a family one. i got it in 1999 right after i graduated high school and i was so proud of the fact that it was mine. i paid for it...over three years (but i still paid every penny). she's been such a great car and she's been through a lot. she's getting up there in age, but she's a toyota...she's a real trooper. over 166,000 miles and i haven't had any major problems with her. i think as long as she gets her routine oil change, she feels so good that she's ready to go. i felt really sorry for her today. she's been so good to me and i haven't even given her a bath.
so i gave her a bath. she looked so much better. at that point she wanted more than just a bath. she was looking at me with those japanese eyes saying "it's been a while since i've had a good waxing." let's just be honest. i've never waxed my car in the 6 years i've had her. i've done the "fake wax" stuff at the car wash, and my brother has waxed her for me, but i have never waxed her.
i "wax[ed] on and wax[ed] off" for over an hour. i was really starting to feel for daniel larusso by the end of it...and he had a lot more than just one car to wax. but when i was done, i stood back and took in the view. i finally understood why old men were so proud of their old cars...why they spent time fixing them up, washing and waxing them, giving them new paint jobs. yeah, i guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that they're "classics," but i think some of it has to do with the fact that they're proud of the work they put in it to make them beautiful. so i looked at my black, shiny, beautiful car and for the first time in a while, i was proud of it.
i decided it would be the perfect day to wash my car. i don't know what it is about it, but i really like washing my car. it's not something i do very often, especially anymore. i find it therapeutic for some strange reason. maybe "the rain on my car is a baptism..." yeah, probably not...but it's what it made me think of.
i drive a black 94 toyota corolla...a sporty one (it even has a spoiler), not a family one. i got it in 1999 right after i graduated high school and i was so proud of the fact that it was mine. i paid for it...over three years (but i still paid every penny). she's been such a great car and she's been through a lot. she's getting up there in age, but she's a toyota...she's a real trooper. over 166,000 miles and i haven't had any major problems with her. i think as long as she gets her routine oil change, she feels so good that she's ready to go. i felt really sorry for her today. she's been so good to me and i haven't even given her a bath.
so i gave her a bath. she looked so much better. at that point she wanted more than just a bath. she was looking at me with those japanese eyes saying "it's been a while since i've had a good waxing." let's just be honest. i've never waxed my car in the 6 years i've had her. i've done the "fake wax" stuff at the car wash, and my brother has waxed her for me, but i have never waxed her.
i "wax[ed] on and wax[ed] off" for over an hour. i was really starting to feel for daniel larusso by the end of it...and he had a lot more than just one car to wax. but when i was done, i stood back and took in the view. i finally understood why old men were so proud of their old cars...why they spent time fixing them up, washing and waxing them, giving them new paint jobs. yeah, i guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that they're "classics," but i think some of it has to do with the fact that they're proud of the work they put in it to make them beautiful. so i looked at my black, shiny, beautiful car and for the first time in a while, i was proud of it.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
do i seriously look like i'm younger than 17?
let's talk about how i just got carded at wal-mart for buying st. elmo's fire from the $5.50 bin.
Friday, March 04, 2005
i want to be brought to life again
i have no idea where, or why, or even when, but i feel like i've lost a sense of who i am. i don't know how i would have defined myself before versus how i'd define myself now, but i feel...different. i'm missing the part of my life that grabs me and wraps it's arms around me and brings me to life. lately i feel like i'm missing out on living.
i met a girl last weekend who was pretty much in the same life situation i'm in. she graduated college and moved home with her parents, which was not a place she ever saw herself being. she isn't actively involved in a church and (like me) the one she's attending doesn't even feel like home. once she realized that i was in the same situation she asked me a question...not a question that everyone would have the guts to ask someone they barely know...but i'm glad she did because it made the answer more real to me. she looked at me and tilted her head and said "sometimes, does it feel like you're in a mini-depression?"
i sat there for a second and looked at her...shocked that she even asked me that question.
"yeah...yeah, it really does."
yeah, so she might be the only person in the world who actually knows what i'm feeling (i'm sure she's not at all)...the emotions...the heartache...the tears...the frustration.
it's not something i can put into words easily. it's hard. it's a hard place to be. it's not easy. it's not fun. some days are great, i wake up ready to conquer the world. others it's hard to even make my feet hit the floor and make my body wander unwillingly to the shower. sometimes i just want to sit around eating a bucket of ice cream in my bathrobe watching old reruns of dawson's creek (i swear i've never done it, but the thought has crossed my mind from time to time). i want to head to the park with a book (not that it's been warm enough to do that) and read until i fall asleep in the sun. i want to get a phone call from a friend who's planned some fabulous adventure for the day.
unfortunately these aren't things that have been going on in my life. i haven't been embracing the day, living for what it's worth. there's been no "carpe diem" or even "c'est la vie" for that matter. i feel so stagnant. i know that's a dirty, disgusting word. it makes you think of a pond with green, nasty scum all over it. and to be honest, that's what i feel like. i feel like a nasty forgotten pond, all alone in the woods. i feel motionless, there's no activity, no moving forward. in this huge world filled with people, in a house where 3 other people live, i feel alone.
i know that God promises us that we are never alone, and i know that it doesn't mean that we're not going to "feel" lonely. so many times over the last few months i feel like david in psalm 42:9 crying out to the Lord, "why have you forgotten me? why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" or even job 19:14 "my kinsmen have gone away; my friends have forgotten me."
but during these times of craziness, when i'm being stupid, when i'm feeling alone, there's lots of places i look for comfort, but today i'm reminded of isaiah 55.
isaiah 55
invitation to the thirsty
"come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
i will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to david.
see, i have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the holy one of israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
let him turn to the LORD , and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD .
"as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
as the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
it will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what i desire
and achieve the purpose for which i sent it.
you will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
this will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
i met a girl last weekend who was pretty much in the same life situation i'm in. she graduated college and moved home with her parents, which was not a place she ever saw herself being. she isn't actively involved in a church and (like me) the one she's attending doesn't even feel like home. once she realized that i was in the same situation she asked me a question...not a question that everyone would have the guts to ask someone they barely know...but i'm glad she did because it made the answer more real to me. she looked at me and tilted her head and said "sometimes, does it feel like you're in a mini-depression?"
i sat there for a second and looked at her...shocked that she even asked me that question.
"yeah...yeah, it really does."
yeah, so she might be the only person in the world who actually knows what i'm feeling (i'm sure she's not at all)...the emotions...the heartache...the tears...the frustration.
it's not something i can put into words easily. it's hard. it's a hard place to be. it's not easy. it's not fun. some days are great, i wake up ready to conquer the world. others it's hard to even make my feet hit the floor and make my body wander unwillingly to the shower. sometimes i just want to sit around eating a bucket of ice cream in my bathrobe watching old reruns of dawson's creek (i swear i've never done it, but the thought has crossed my mind from time to time). i want to head to the park with a book (not that it's been warm enough to do that) and read until i fall asleep in the sun. i want to get a phone call from a friend who's planned some fabulous adventure for the day.
unfortunately these aren't things that have been going on in my life. i haven't been embracing the day, living for what it's worth. there's been no "carpe diem" or even "c'est la vie" for that matter. i feel so stagnant. i know that's a dirty, disgusting word. it makes you think of a pond with green, nasty scum all over it. and to be honest, that's what i feel like. i feel like a nasty forgotten pond, all alone in the woods. i feel motionless, there's no activity, no moving forward. in this huge world filled with people, in a house where 3 other people live, i feel alone.
i know that God promises us that we are never alone, and i know that it doesn't mean that we're not going to "feel" lonely. so many times over the last few months i feel like david in psalm 42:9 crying out to the Lord, "why have you forgotten me? why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" or even job 19:14 "my kinsmen have gone away; my friends have forgotten me."
but during these times of craziness, when i'm being stupid, when i'm feeling alone, there's lots of places i look for comfort, but today i'm reminded of isaiah 55.
isaiah 55
invitation to the thirsty
"come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
i will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to david.
see, i have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the holy one of israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
let him turn to the LORD , and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD .
"as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
as the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
it will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what i desire
and achieve the purpose for which i sent it.
you will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
this will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
a short vacation...from life
i guess i should start with my trip to ga. i'm so glad that i decided to go. at first i was really worried that i wouldn't be able to pay for the gas and for everything else that goes with taking a trip. when jeremy told me that they were working on trying to see if they could pay us a little more, i decided that even if i broke even, it would be well worth it. and, i was right.
i planned on leaving sometime between 12-2 on thursday. i didn't leave until 4:45. but i made it south of atlanta in exactly 6 hrs. it was about 11 pm when i got to jeremy's house. we stayed up and talked for a while...about everything and nothing...weddings, bridesmaid dresses, tv shows, movies, camp, family, relationships, and friends. great times to be able to talk to someone face to face when i'm so used to talking to them on the phone.
the next morning we got up and headed to the church to get things ready. we spent time cleaning and setting up the area we were going to use for worship. then we headed to the kitchen to make a gazillion batches of cookies, brownies, and rice krispy treats. let's just say we had lots of fun making big messes while we used the industrial ovens to create our own baking masterpieces. well, they would have been...if either of us had known how to make rice krispy treats. we didn't realize that the marshmallow fluff and butter had to be cooked, so the 4 huge pans looked like rice krispy treat cereal...but that's another story. all the other stuff turned out great. apparently we can bake, but we can't make treats you don't bake (crystal, for some reason i thought about you making cookies in the dorm room).
by the time everyone else got there, i was so excited to see everyone! i got to spend the weekend with 4 people i was in charleston with last summer. it was so great to just be around people who genuinely love me. blue, emily, caroline, and jeremy. even though i hadn't talked to blue since camp and i hadn't talked to caroline since september, it doesn't matter. camp friends are so great because no matter where you are in your life, you're always able relate to each other because of that special summer you shared. it's been that way with everyone i've worked with. it wouldn't be strange to get a random email or phone call from someone from 3 years ago. it's almost like a bond that can't be broken. it's great to know that people really love you and want to know what's going on in your life, and that it's sincere. even if we don't keep in touch the way we want to, we still love each other. i talked to katie on the phone this weekend and she said "i know that i haven't talked to you since september, but i really just want you to know that i've been thinking about you. and everytime i do, i pray for you." that right there means as much to me as a phone call...just to know that someone is lifting you up in prayer. what an amazing thing.
it was so awesome to just be in the company of friends. to worship. to laugh. to invest in high school girls. to see the amazing way God uses situations. those are the desires of my heart, and my heart was blessed this past weekend.
it got me really excited about what is in store for me in mississippi this summer. i honestly wish i could pack my bags and head out now. but i know that i still have time here. i think that's the hardest part about preparing your heart for what's next. you so badly just want to jump on the next train out, sometimes it's easy to miss what's in front of you. it's soothing to know that may is around the corner and that i can actually say that i know what i'm doing, but it's hard because then i have to go back to the life of uncertainty...and it's not easy to digest. but for now, i'm going to continue to live in the present and just soak it up.
i planned on leaving sometime between 12-2 on thursday. i didn't leave until 4:45. but i made it south of atlanta in exactly 6 hrs. it was about 11 pm when i got to jeremy's house. we stayed up and talked for a while...about everything and nothing...weddings, bridesmaid dresses, tv shows, movies, camp, family, relationships, and friends. great times to be able to talk to someone face to face when i'm so used to talking to them on the phone.
the next morning we got up and headed to the church to get things ready. we spent time cleaning and setting up the area we were going to use for worship. then we headed to the kitchen to make a gazillion batches of cookies, brownies, and rice krispy treats. let's just say we had lots of fun making big messes while we used the industrial ovens to create our own baking masterpieces. well, they would have been...if either of us had known how to make rice krispy treats. we didn't realize that the marshmallow fluff and butter had to be cooked, so the 4 huge pans looked like rice krispy treat cereal...but that's another story. all the other stuff turned out great. apparently we can bake, but we can't make treats you don't bake (crystal, for some reason i thought about you making cookies in the dorm room).
by the time everyone else got there, i was so excited to see everyone! i got to spend the weekend with 4 people i was in charleston with last summer. it was so great to just be around people who genuinely love me. blue, emily, caroline, and jeremy. even though i hadn't talked to blue since camp and i hadn't talked to caroline since september, it doesn't matter. camp friends are so great because no matter where you are in your life, you're always able relate to each other because of that special summer you shared. it's been that way with everyone i've worked with. it wouldn't be strange to get a random email or phone call from someone from 3 years ago. it's almost like a bond that can't be broken. it's great to know that people really love you and want to know what's going on in your life, and that it's sincere. even if we don't keep in touch the way we want to, we still love each other. i talked to katie on the phone this weekend and she said "i know that i haven't talked to you since september, but i really just want you to know that i've been thinking about you. and everytime i do, i pray for you." that right there means as much to me as a phone call...just to know that someone is lifting you up in prayer. what an amazing thing.
it was so awesome to just be in the company of friends. to worship. to laugh. to invest in high school girls. to see the amazing way God uses situations. those are the desires of my heart, and my heart was blessed this past weekend.
it got me really excited about what is in store for me in mississippi this summer. i honestly wish i could pack my bags and head out now. but i know that i still have time here. i think that's the hardest part about preparing your heart for what's next. you so badly just want to jump on the next train out, sometimes it's easy to miss what's in front of you. it's soothing to know that may is around the corner and that i can actually say that i know what i'm doing, but it's hard because then i have to go back to the life of uncertainty...and it's not easy to digest. but for now, i'm going to continue to live in the present and just soak it up.
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